The Hurt, The Help, The Hope

Introduction

We are here today as the people of God to find comfort in the Presence of God and the truth of Scripture, and especially to surround this family with our love, our faith, and our prayers. If we could summarize the purpose of an occasion like this, I believe we could do it in these few, brief words:

The Hurt

The Help

The Hope

The Hurt

No matter how eloquent the words that are spoken today… No matter how beautiful the music is… No matter how kind friends are in their expressions of care and concern… There is still a very genuine and valid sense of sorrow and loss that is experienced when a loved one is no longer with us.

Even when a person has faith, and this family does, there is still a sadness that exists because someone we love is no longer with us – we are no longer able to enjoy their company, their friendship, and their fellowship.

We see within the pages of the Bible a compassionate God who is touched with the feelings of our infirmities.

We see Jesus’ teaching at the Sermon on the Mount where he said:

Matthew 5:4 NASB 2020

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

b. Jesus himself faced great heartache when his own cousin, John the Baptist, was taken from this earth in the prime of his life.  When Jesus heard of John’s death, the Bible says:

Matthew 14:13 NASB 2020

Now when Jesus heard about John, He withdrew from there in a boat to a secluded place by Himself; and when the people heard about this, they followed Him on foot from the cities.

I believe that Jesus was deeply saddened by this news, and he desired some solitude in which I’m sure he was drawing comfort from his Heavenly Father.

Just like there is a healing and recovery process that involves time when our body is wounded or injured, so there is a period of time when we suffer loss.

This is why the writer of Ecclesiastes said: To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

The reason we have the ability to grieve, is because we have the ability to give and receive love.

The Help

Psalm 46:1–6 NASB 2020

God is our refuge and strength, A very ready help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth shakes And the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; Though its waters roar and foam, Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Selah There is a river whose streams make the city of God happy, The holy dwelling places of the Most High. God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns. The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered; He raised His voice, the earth quaked.

God is committed to helping us through the difficult, the turbulent times of life.

God helps us by giving us promises that reflect true reality, ultimate reality, and eternal reality.  We need to understand that death is a temporal reality.

We have to deal with the temporal issues that are involved, and they downright hurt.  But they are, nevertheless, temporal.

God helps us by His abiding presence and the comfort of the Holy Spirit.

God helps us through friends who are supportive, who are there for us, who are non-judgmental.

He helps us through friends who don’t put unrealistic standards in front of us, who allow us time to be “human.”  Friends who don’t feel obligated to throw out trite clichés to help us “snap out of it.”

The Apostle Paul, in 2 Corinthians described a time in his life when he was “pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that [he] despaired even of life.”  He said that his flesh had no rest, but that he was troubled on every side.  On the outside were fightings and within were fears.

I want you to notice that Paul’s spirituality and faith did not rule out just how very human he was.

But God did help Paul. He went on to say: “But God, who comforts those that are cast down, comforted us by the coming of Titus.”

Another time, in 2 Timothy, Paul was relating a time in prison when he experienced a sense of abandonment and loneliness.  He then referred to a friend named Onesiphorus “on-a-see-phorus” who had sought Paul out, found him, and refreshed him.

Illustration: A little girl was sent to the store on an errand by her mother with specific instructions to go straight to the store and return straight home.  The girl did not arrive home at the expected time, and the mother became anxious and concerned. 

When the girl finally returned, her mother was quite agitated, and the frustration of the mother came out when she questioned where the girl had been and why it had taken so long. The girl responded that on the way to the store, she stopped to help a friend whose doll had just been broken. The mother was somewhat sarcastic when she asked what she knew about fixing dolls. The little girl said, “I don’t know anything about fixing dolls.  I just sat down with her for a while and helped her cry.”

The Hope

God does understand our hurt — he is touched with the feeling of our infirmities.

Jesus wept when John the Baptist and his best friend Lazarus died.

God does help us — in the midst of our humanness and our natural emotions, God helps us with his promises, with his presence, and through friends.

But God goes beyond these first two elements and gives us hope. When the world says it’s all over. It’s finished. No more. The end. God says:  “I will have the last word.” To that, we respond:  We walk by faith, not by sight.

As Christians, we have something very positive and tangible to look forward to in the future.

1 Thessalonians 4:16–18 NASB 2020

For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who remain, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore, comfort one another with these words.

Not only does God offer us hope with the promise of the resurrection, but the resurrection offers us the promise of reunion.

Leighton Ford is an evangelist, who, for many years worked as an associate to Billy Graham.  His son, Sandy, died an untimely death, and in spite of his strong faith, Leighton struggled with that loss.

Even though he fully understood that he could not literally communicate with his departed son, Leighton kept a journal in which he wrote imaginary “conversations” with his son; it was his way of expressing things that were on the inside of him and bringing proper closure to the relationship.

In one of these imaginary conversations, Leighton wrote: “Sandy, I sure do miss you.  I think about you more now than I did when you were here on earth.” “I know you do dad, and I hear those thoughts.” “I guess I’m just afraid that as our time goes on here, that I’ll lose the sense of nearness we once had.”

“But why?”  Sandy responded, “It’s just like one big long day here, dad, and besides that, you’re not moving away from me, you’re moving toward me.  And the wall between us is so thin, you would laugh if you could see it.” “Thanks son, it’s getting late, I’d better get to bed.  Enjoy the stars.” “It’s day here dad, enjoy the light.”

The Bible Story

Conclusion

As we gather here today, on this significant day that marks both the beginning and the end of a precious life, we are reminded of the full circle of God’s grace. Eighteen years ago, we celebrated his birth, and today, though we mourn the loss of his presence with us, we celebrate his new life in eternity. Free from illness, tears, pain, and sorrow, he now walks in the fullness of God’s peace. While our hearts ache, we find hope in the promise that this is not the end, but a new beginning for him—a beginning of everlasting joy in the presence of his Savior. Let us hold on to that hope as we remember and honor the gift of his life today.

Prayer Following Message:

Let us pray.

Heavenly Father, we come before You today in this time of loss, acknowledging the hurt that fills our hearts. In our grief, we turn to You as our source of comfort and peace. We thank You for being our ever-present help in times of sorrow, for surrounding us with Your love through family, friends, and the strength of Your Spirit.

Even in this pain, Lord, we hold on to the hope that You have given us—the hope of eternal life, free from suffering, illness, and sorrow. We trust in Your promises, knowing that our loved one is now resting in Your loving embrace, free from all earthly pain. Help us to find peace in Your presence and strength in the days ahead.

Be near to us as we grieve, and may Your hope be our anchor in this moment and always. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

Benediction:

May the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. As you go from this place, may you carry the love and memory of Matthew, the one we honor today, and may the hope of resurrection and eternal life sustain you. May God’s grace comfort you, His presence surround you, and His Spirit fill you with peace. Go in the assurance of His love, now and always. Amen.