Taming the Tongue

James 3:8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

Prayer

James 3:1 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. This is written in the context of talking about the danger of the tongue. Teachers teach with words. And this is a sobering verse. The warning is so strong because the words of teachers have an incredible impact on those listening. True teaching can bring people to God, and false teaching can lead people astray. I want you to know that I spend many many hours every week preparing a message because I want to make sure it is true and that I am rightly dividing the Word. But I also want to tell you to never take my word as the truth just because I said it. Test what I say or whatever any other teacher says against the Word of God. 2 For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! James is using these analogies to show us that our tongue not only controls our path in life, but our tongue can have a huge impact on our environment - on ourselves and on those around us. 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. Pretty harsh…James is not telling us anything positive about the tongue..but he continues to warn us about how much evil power it has. 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. If you’re someone who writes in your Bible, highlight or underline in verse 8 where it says “no human being”. That’s really important, and we’ll come back to it later. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.

In this subsection in our Bibles, “Taming the Tongue”, it may surprise you that James doesn’t give us a solution to taming the tongue. If you’re looking for a quick, simple fix to control your tongue, then you will not find it in James chapter 3…because, spoiler alert, there IS NO quick fix to taming the tongue. But as we’ll see a little bit later, the Word of God does provide a solution…we’ll get to that in a bit.

But first, let’s focus on what God, through James, is showing us.

James 3 makes this truth obvious because it is very important for us to understand.

OUR WORDS ARE INCREDIBLY POWERFUL (How you speak will produce major consequences)

If you don’t understand anything from James 3, understand that. Your words are incredibly powerful.

James 3 shows us the tremendous consequences that can come from our words

I. I don’t care who you are, how much or how little influence you think you have.. The Word of God says that your tongue is extremely powerful, and the words that come out of your mouth have a great impact.. What kind of impact they have is up to you.

Let me give you an example that I’ve seen…

Spending several years in education, I’ve seen it first-hand..That a kid can have an A+ average in one class and be failing another class, and it’s certainly not always the case, but oftentimes it’s all because of what his teacher in each of those classes is speaking into him.

I’ve seen multiple examples of where two kids in the same classroom are just as smart as one another, and you’ve got one kid who thrives academically, athletically, and socially…then you’ve got this other kid who is struggling to pass the class, totally uninvolved, just ready to get the day over with every day….and it doesn’t make sense..until you meet their parents..and you quickly find out that the parents of the successful kid are speaking life and blessing, positivity and encouragement…and with the struggling kid, you see that nothing but negativity comes from the mouths of the parents.

What we say matters. How we speak to our kids matters., our spouses (it is only by the grace of God that I am here, where I am today.. But a huge part of God’s unmerited favor on my life is Haley, and there’s no way I am where I am without her speaking life and blessing into me.

Our words to our spouses matter.. to our friends, to our co-workers. Our words have POWER. I know that because the Bible says that…

Proverbs 18:21 says Death and life are in the power of the tongue.

In Matthew 12:36, Jesus said, “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,” That’s scary. That means that every word we speak matters, has weight.

And we know that all scripture is God-breathed and that the same God who authored Proverbs 18 is the same God who authored Matthew 12, is the same God who said in Galatians 5 walk by the Spirit and not the flesh. Is the same God who says in James 3:10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.

Here’s what I think He’s saying…

A. If you are in the flesh and not in the Spirit, DO NOT SPEAK…because there is NOTHING GOOD that can come from it…only death; only cursing.

How do you tame the tongue? Welp, just don't talk! Pretty easy, right?....If it were that easy, then that’d be the end of the sermon. If it were that easy, then we’d all speak with a pure tongue…but it’s not that easy because it’s not simply an issue of our words…see, there is a deeper root-issue. And that issue lies not in our tongue, but in our heart.

Let me let God’s Word prove it to you.

Proverbs 4:23 says “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (NIV)

If everything we do flows from our heart, then that means how we walk, how we act, and yes, how we speak, is an indicator of the condition of our heart.

If we want to grow in our faith by improving our speech, then we have to understand that…

OUR TONGUE IS A REFLECTION OF OUR HEART

E. Here’s what Jesus has to say on the issue.

In Matthew 12:34, Jesus said “34 You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”

Couple of things to look at here in Jesus’s words:

Jesus calls these Pharisees a “brood of vipers”. Now, a couple weeks ago, we studied the baptism of Jesus where the Bible says that the Spirit of God remained on Him..and the Holy Spirit remained on Jesus always because He never did anything to grieve the Spirit. What that means is that when Jesus calls out the Pharisees, He’s in the Spirit. If Jesus is God (He is), and God is love (He is), then when Jesus calls the Pharisees a “brood of vipers,” He’s speaking IN LOVE. Sometimes, speaking in love, speaking from a pure heart, means correcting those who we love.

Second, Jesus makes this profound statement that tells us everything we need to know about the tongue…He says “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”

… meaning that if you want to test the condition of someone’s heart, all you need to do is listen to the way they talk. What is coming out of someone’s mouth, has come straight from that person’s heart. Jesus is showing us that something can’t come out of you if it’s not already in you.

I. Let me show you what I mean... Water bottle. What’s in the bottle? Water. What can come out of the bottle? Water..only water. See, the bottle represents our heart, and the cap represents our tongue.

And the more turbulent life gets, the more conflict we encounter, the more trauma we face, the more will be revealed about what’s actually in our heart. If we have a heart full of love, then love will flow from our hearts and out of our mouths. If we have a heart full of anger and hate, then that’s what we will speak.

The bad news is that when those words come out, those around you sees just how impure we are on the inside.

The good news is that God presents an opportunity for us to examine ourselves and examine how our hearts needs to be changed.

I want to show you some specific examples of how our tongue may reveal what’s in our heart..and as we look at this list, I encourage you to be honest with yourself. If you don’t identify with any of the items on the list, then I encourage you to ask your kids or your spouse, or someone else who will be honest with you.

A harsh tongue or critical tongue likely reveals that you have anger and unforgiveness in your heart.

A constantly negative tongue reveals that you have fear in your heart.

A boasting tongue reveals that you have pride and insecurity in your heart.

A judgmental tongue may reveal that guilt and shame reside in your heart.

What we are learning is that..IF WE ARE GOING TO USE THE POWER OF THE TONGUE FOR GOOD, THEN IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT WE FIX OUR HEART…

So the question then becomes this…

So how do we fix our hearts?

Here’s the bad news: WE CAN’T DO IT ON OUR OWN. Romans 7:18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. How many people can admit they have the desire to talk with a more pure tongue, live with a more pure heart? Of course we desire a more pure tongue and a more pure heart. If we are in Christ, then we should want to be more holy. But we cannot, on our own, produce holiness…that’s what the Pharisees tried to do..remember what Jesus said to them?

Let me give you a personal example of this in my own life.

*Talk about the struggles as a teacher to not get into the flesh…looked at the fruit of the Spirit and tried to produce it myself…..but I couldn’t..because it’s not the fruit of Derek.. It’s the fruit of the SPIRIT. We don’t produce the fruit of the Spirit…If we want to see Godly fruit produced in our lives, we go to the source of that fruit.

The bad news is that we can’t fix our hearts on our own..Here’s the good news: WE DON’T HAVE TO DO IT ON OUR OWN. John 15:4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

You may be thinking, at this point, how in the world did we get here? I thought this was a sermon about how I’m supposed to control my tongue. Well, the untamed tongue is a symptom, and the root issue of that symptom is (in your heart) right here. And when we abide in Christ, He begins to change us from the inside out. He begins to transform our hearts, which in turn, transforms our actions, including the way we speak.

Let me show you what I mean…Speaking with an impure tongue, just like operating in any other sin, is a work of the flesh. And the flesh stands in direct opposition to the what? To THE SPIRIT. Speaking with an impure tongue reveals a lack of love; reveals a lack of self-control.

But the fruit of the Spirit is LOVE…….SELF-CONTROL.

Remember James 3:8 …no human being can tame the tongue… It is impossible for us, by our own will, to control our speech in a Godly way, and for that matter, to defeat the flesh.

But Jesus said…Luke 18:27 What is impossible with man is possible with God.

And we can’t do it on our own, but we’ve been talking for weeks about how James exhorts us to live out our faith..so how do we do that? How do we participate in this process? Jesus says that WE ABIDE

John 15:4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

So what does it mean to abide? It means to remain, to stay, to dwell in Christ, to seek a continuous, active connection. It means to live in His word, to live in a continuous state of prayer, to seek Him first in all that we do.

Abiding looks a whole lot like what you see in our Mission Statement: If we are abiding in Him, then we are walking in an Intimate Relationship with Him.

And when we do that, He changes our hearts. Abiding in Christ is the solution to taming the tongue…but it goes far beyond that. Jesus said Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit here’s the fruit that we bear when we abide in Him: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control

Abiding in Him is the answer to any Spiritual battle that we’ll ever face in life.

If you have anger or hate in your heart, abide in Him; He’ll change you. He’ll restore your heart to love.

If you lack joy, abide in Him; He is the source of true joy.

When peace seems so far away, abide in Him; and He’ll give you a peace that surpasses all understanding.

When you recognize a lack of kindness and goodness and gentleness flowing from within you, when there’s a hardness and a harshness in your heart, abide in Him; He’ll bring you back to where you need to be.

When you abide in Him, the fruit of faithfulness will flow in your life. Your actions will be marked by true love for God.

When you abide in Him, He gives you a supernatural self-control that changes the way we walk, and act, and yes, the way we talk. He gives us power to defeat sin in our lives that we never thought we could.

Living out our faith, like the book of James calls us to, being sanctified, growing in Spiritual maturity is marked by the fruit of the Spirit, and we cannot produce that fruit on our own. When we abide in Christ - walk in close relationship with Him daily - then Godly fruit flows in our lives. When we walk in intimacy with God, then He takes care of the rest. Amen?