Freedom in Marriage

Intro

Christ Has Given His People Freedom

Galatians 5:1 ESV

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

That first half of that we like. “Yeah, freedom!” Second half, and we’re here at a marriage retreat… And we’re like hold up a sec! Being married to my spouse is like a yoke of slavery, you don’t know! Ball and chain and all that!

I kid, of course.

Chris has set us free. In His death, burial, and resurrection, every single one of us is free. But that begs the question, what are we free from? Paul has spent a lot of time convincing them in the Book of Galatians to get them to understand that they are not slaves to the Law anymore.

Galatians 3:23 ESV

Now before faith came, we were held captive under the law, imprisoned until the coming faith would be revealed.

That imprisonment was the Law, it was a legalistic relationship with the Lord God, and Paul wanted them to have nothing to do with that. He says, you are free now! He’s speaking, of course, to a group of believers who are tempted to submit again to the Law. He says, none of that. You’ve been freed.

This weekend, I hope you’ve learned that you don’t have to be a slave to what you’ve come from. Our families of origin have a lot of sway on our adult lives. Some for the better, others for the worse. That doesn’t have to be your story anymore in your marriage. You can be free. Don’t submit to that yoke of slavery. Be as God is calling you to be in your marriage. Don’t get lazy. Get after pursuing the freedom you have in Christ. Use your freedom for the betterment of your marriage. How do we do that?

We recognize:

Our Freedom Has Its End in Love

Skip with me down a few verses to:

Galatians 5:13–15 ESV

For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.

Do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh… But love… and serve one another… In other words, use what Christ has given you to love and serve one another. What if our marriages looked like that?? What if our first point of contact with our spouse was to love and serve them? Wives, serve your husbands. Husbands, serve your wives. Ephesians 5 gives a beautiful picture of what this looks like. The wife respects her husband, the husband lays down his life for his wife.

Husbands, that doesn’t mean you get to be selfish with your life. It means you give it for your wife and family.

1 Corinthians 9:19 ESV

For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them.

The law, as Paul says, is summed up in this one command… Love your neighbor as yourself. Remember, for Paul, this is the context he’s dealing with… Encouraging his hearers not to fall back into old patterns.

If you’re looking for things from the past that are good that you can lean on in your marriage, do that. Paul says for those who are tempted to submit again to the Law, remember how Christ sums up the Law. For us today, remember the good things, but do away with all of the bad things. Not that there were bad things in the Law, per se, but there are so many things in the Law that were meant for a specific people in a specific place and time.

Do away with the old. Pursue and hold on to what is new and good.

Don’t use your Christian freedom, which is all too important of a gift, as an opportunity for the flesh.

When you look at your spouse, your children, do you ask the question, “what can I get from them,” or do you ask the question, “what can I do for them?”

Serve your children. Serve your spouse. This is a love like our world is not used to seeing. Serving your family should be the first on your list of love priorities, after the Lord Jesus. And your love for your spouse should be the crowning jewel of love in your family.

This is what love looks like. Giving with nothing to gain. Caring and acting in compassion as a gift, not a payment. To serve means to do for others with no recompense. In a world where everything is transactional, just resolve to be a giver, especially in your marriage.

Finally, Paul uses the phrase “if you bite and devour each other” to describe what could come as a result.

Paul says that if we are seeking our own way and our own self-gain, we will end up biting and devouring one another.

Now, among Christians, there ought to be a healthy expectation of reciprocal love…

Now, in a marriage, we also have to be aware that we can find ourselves in a position where we may be manipulating our spouse… Heads up, don’t twist the scriptures or your spouse’s requirement to serve you as an opportunity for self-gain. That’s not love, that’s twisted. That’s evil. Allow no room in your heart for manipulating anyone, especially your spouse.

Woe on those who manipulate their spouses for their own self-gain. They will answer for that before the throne of judgment one day.

Reminder that love is freely given, not demanded.

We bite and devour one another when we manipulate…

We bite and devour one another when we keep a damaging secret.

We bite and devour one another when we betray trust.

We bite and devour one another when we lash out in rage.

We bite and devour one another when we refuse to forgive.

We bite and devour one another when we withhold.

We bite and devour one another when we act uncaringly.

Use your freedom through love to serve one another!