Forgiven to Forgive: Embracing God's Grace

Read Psalm 32

PRAY

-We are continuing our Kingdom Values this morning. Pastor Manny has led us powerfully over the last two weeks as he unpacked how we are to truly love God and His people and how to live righteous lives

todays sermon is titled:Forgiven to Forgive: Embracing God's Grace

According to the Bible, we have all sinned

Ecclesiastes 7:20 “There is certainly no one righteous on the earth who does good and never sins.”

Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God;”

1 John 1:8 “If we say, “We have no sin,” we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”

As a result of that sin, we all deserve death

-Given what we deserve, every day we live is an act of God’s mercy. If God gave us all what we deserve, we would all be, right now, condemned for eternity.

-In Psalm 51:1–2, David cries out, “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.” Pleading for God’s mercy is asking Him to show kindness and withhold the judgment we deserve.

-Today we are going to focus in on Forgiveness as a kingdom value, but in order to do that I believe we also have to cover a few other value before which are grace and mercy!

-Mercy and grace are closely related. While the terms have similar meanings, grace and mercy are not the same.

-Mercy has to do with kindness and compassion; it is often spoken of in the context of God’s not punishing us as our sins deserve.For example, if you break the speed limit and an officer lets you go with a warning, that would be mercy.

-Mercy, in the secular realm, is frequently understood as compassion shown in specific situations, often limited by the perceived severity of an offense.

-Christians believe mercy, however, is a fundamental attribute of God that calls for a consistent disposition of compassion towards others, regardless of their actions. This mercy invites believers to extend kindness even to those who seem undeserving, mirroring God's own mercy towards humanity.

-Grace includes kindness and compassion, but also carries the idea of bestowing a gift or favor.God's love given to us, even though we don't deserve it. For example, if a colleague helps you finish a project at the last minute, even though you didn't deserve the bonus, that would be grace

-grace is often viewed in secular contexts as a temporary reprieve or leniency, where individuals may feel entitled to grace based on their circumstances or merit. In Christianity, however, grace is the unmerited favor of God—a gift freely given, not earned or deserved. It highlights God’s unconditional love and serves as the foundation for salvation, emphasizing that no one can boast about their worthiness.

-Understanding grace in its biblical context profoundly impacts how we relate to others. When we recognize that grace is not contingent upon our actions or merits, we can begin to extend that same grace to those around us.

-This shift in perspective transforms our interactions, inviting us to be more compassionate and forgiving, as we see others through the lens of God’s unconditional love. It reminds us that just as we have been recipients of grace, we are called to be conduits of that grace in our relationships.

-This call to extend grace culminates in the command found in Colossians 3:13.

Colossians 3:13 “bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive.”

-This principle underscores the interconnectedness of grace and forgiveness, illustrating that true forgiveness is rooted in our understanding of God's mercy toward us.

Grace leads to mercy: Understanding God’s grace enables us to extend mercy to others.

Mercy opens the door for forgiveness: When we practice mercy, we create a space for forgiveness.

Forgiveness is an expression of grace: When we forgive, we are demonstrating grace to those who may not deserve it.

-Now that we are here lets really unpack forgiveness.

The world's perspective on forgiveness often emphasizes a transactional approach, where forgiveness is seen as contingent upon the offender's actions or remorse. This view can lead to a belief that one must earn forgiveness through apologies or restitution, creating a barrier that prevents genuine reconciliation.

What Forgiveness Is Not:

Condoning Sin: Forgiveness does not mean excusing or minimizing the wrong that was done. It acknowledges the hurt caused but chooses to release the offender from the debt.

Reconciliation: While forgiveness opens the door to reconciliation, it does not guarantee it. Reconciliation requires the willingness of both parties to restore the relationship, which may not always be possible.

Forgetting the Offense: Forgiveness doesn’t mean we forget the hurtful actions. Instead, it involves remembering without being bound by bitterness or pain, allowing for growth and learning from the experience.

A Feeling: Forgiveness is not primarily an emotional response. While feelings may follow the act of forgiving, it often starts as a choice rather than an immediate emotional release.

A One-Time Event: Forgiveness can be an ongoing process, especially when deep wounds are involved. It may require repeated choices to let go and extend grace as feelings of hurt resurface.

What Forgiveness Is:

A Command from God: Forgiveness is a directive from God, emphasized throughout Scripture. Jesus teaches us to forgive others, reflecting God's grace in our own lives (Matthew 6:14–15 ““For if you forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well. But if you don’t forgive others, your Father will not forgive your offenses.” )

A Choice: Forgiveness is a conscious decision to let go of resentment and the desire for revenge. It involves a willful act of the heart, choosing to release the offender from the debt of their wrongdoing.

A Reflection of God’s Grace: Forgiveness mirrors the grace God has shown us. In Ephesians 4:32, we are called to forgive as God forgave us, demonstrating His unconditional love and mercy.

A Path to Healing: Forgiveness allows for emotional and spiritual healing. It can free the individual from the burden of bitterness and resentment, leading to peace and restoration.

A Process: Forgiveness can be gradual, often requiring time and prayer. It may involve grappling with emotions and seeking God’s help to fully release the hurt.

-To truly forgive others, we must first understand and accept the depth of God's forgiveness toward us. The Bible teaches that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God as we discussed at the beginning, and yet, through Christ’s sacrifice, we receive unmerited grace.

-This forgiveness is not based on our worthiness or actions; rather, it stems from God's infinite love and mercy.

-When we grasp the enormity of what we have been forgiven—our sins, shortcomings, and failures—we can begin to appreciate the weight of grace that has been extended to us.

-Experiencing God's forgiveness transforms our hearts and minds. It humbles us, reminding us that we, too, are in need of mercy. As we reflect on our own forgiven state, we develop a deeper empathy for those who have wronged us.

-This understanding helps dismantle the barriers of pride and resentment that can prevent us from forgiving others. When we recognize that we are not above others, but rather equally in need of grace, it becomes easier to extend that same grace to those who have hurt us.

-Accepting and knowing we are forgiven by God empowers us to forgive others authentically. In 1 John 1:9, we are assured that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us. This promise reinforces the idea that forgiveness is a divine act, and when we accept it, we are infused with the ability to forgive others.

-As we internalize God's forgiveness, it enables us to release the bitterness and anger we might harbor, allowing His love to flow through us. Ultimately, the act of forgiving others becomes a reflection of the grace we have received, creating a cycle of mercy that mirrors God's heart toward humanity.

-But if we are keeping it real here, Many individuals struggle with accepting God's forgiveness due to feelings of unworthiness or shame. I have personally wrestled with this in my life.

-We may carry the weight of past mistakes, believing that our sins are too great to be forgiven. This can lead to a sense of guilt that clouds our perception of God's grace.

-The enemy often uses these feelings to create doubt, making us feel isolated and undeserving of God’s love. Additionally, societal norms may contribute to this struggle; people often equate forgiveness with merit or performance, thinking they must earn their way back into God’s good graces. (YOU DIDN’T EARN THAT INTIAL GRACE OR YOUR SALVATION, SO WHY WOULD THAT CHANGE AFTER BECOMING A BELIEVER, IT WONT!!)

Another reason for this difficulty is a misunderstanding of the nature of God’s forgiveness. Some may view God as a strict judge, waiting to punish rather than a loving Father who longs to restore relationship.

-This distorted view can make it hard to believe that His forgiveness is unconditional and freely given.

-Those who have experienced broken relationships or betrayal may project those experiences onto their relationship with God, leading them to doubt that His forgiveness can truly encompass their hurt and failure. (I was guilty of this)

-To move past these barriers, it's essential to immerse ourselves in Scripture and the truth of God's Word. Verses like Romans 8:1 remind us that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, reinforcing that our identity is rooted in His love, not our past.

-Seeking community support—whether through a church, small group, or trusted friends—can also provide encouragement and remind individuals of God’s promises.

-Prayer and self-reflection play significant roles as well; bringing fears and doubts before God allows for healing and clarity. Ultimately, embracing God’s forgiveness requires a heart open to grace, recognizing that it’s not about our merit, but about His immense love and mercy.

Lets talk about something else that can hinder us, Un-forgiveness

-It is like a heavy weight that burdens the heart and soul of the one who has been wronged. While it may seem that harboring bitterness and resentment serves as a form of self-protection or justice against the offender, it ultimately inflicts more harm on the victim.

- Un-forgiveness creates a cycle of negative emotions—anger, bitterness, and frustration—that can fester and lead to spiritual, emotional, and even physical deterioration. Just as poison affects the body, unresolved pain can poison the spirit, leading to isolation from God and others.

-Jesus teaches the importance of forgiveness, emphasizing that holding onto grudges can hinder our relationship with Him. In Matthew 6:14-15, He warns that if we do not forgive others, we risk being cut off from the very grace we seek.

- This illustrates how un-forgiveness not only keeps us chained to past wounds but also blocks the flow of God's healing love in our lives. The act of forgiving, on the other hand, releases that burden, freeing the individual to experience peace and restoration.

-Un-forgiveness can distort our perception of ourselves and others. It often leads to a victim mentality, where one sees themselves solely through the lens of hurt. This perspective can stifle personal growth and prevent the cultivation of healthy relationships.

-By clinging to past grievances, individuals miss out on the transformative power of grace and mercy that can lead to healing and reconciliation. In this light, choosing to forgive becomes an act of liberation—both from the past and toward a future filled with hope and joy.

-I know this feeling all to well when it came to be forgiving both of my parents. I want to share with you my journey with my dad about how both mercy and forgiveness were on display…. I will share with you something i wrote to help some it all up.

-I’m not the hero here. This sucked and there were days I did not want to have mercy on this man who wasn’t a father to me…. There more days than not I felt he didn’t deserve my forgiveness.

——————————————————————————————————-

I’m 33 years old now. And if you would have asked me back when I was 29 how I thought my thirties would go.TO be honest I never thought i would make it past 30. But I would have never guessed it would go like this. It’s been a long 3 years filled with some beautiful moments but also full of some dark/painful moments . I also would have never guessed that I would lose both of my parents in a little under 3 years. As I sit here reflecting on how it’s been almost 2 weeks since we got the wellness check call back of your passing.

I know I wasn’t the easiest kid. I know that we are all flawed. This is something I had wrote awhile back. I wanted to share it with you while you were still here but I guess I was to much of a coward or to fixated on fighting to try to help you see there were reasons to still live.I wanted to share it with you so you could know that despite all this I still loved you and longed to be your son. And that how God loves you and can redeem all broken things.

There is little boy in me desperately looking for his father.

God called me to forgive the man who was never a man or much of a father. One who never showed loved or defended his son. One who when he did decide to show love and affection it wasn’t to his family but to his bottle. It’s hard to forgive someone you never really knew. It’s hard to forgive someone when the little boy in you was still longing for a father and hurt that he never had one.

I fought You on forgiving him. Why does he deserve my forgiveness? What difference would it make? He would still go on loving his bottle more and I would still be angry and hurt. Then you reminded me it wasn't for his sake…but my own. So I finally caved and felt the burdens of hurt, abandonment, fear, anger, hate, let down and sadness be lifted. But then you called me to be reconciled?!?! How? Why? I’m a grown man now full of my own pride trying to be my own man, husband and father to my own children. I don’t need a relationship with a man I never knew and who seemingly didn’t want to know me. Yet deep down the little boy in me still longed for a relationship with his father and to hear him say he loved me and was proud of me. It hurts to admit this because it’s a reminder of what I lacked and makes me feel weak.

But God you made a way for reconciliation as you always seem to do. Not my ideal way, but none the less Your way. While mom was sick is when a true relationship began to take shape. Through the many ups and downs with my moms health me and my father began to talk more regularly. It was during this time you said you loved me and for the first time in my life it felt like you meant it. It took me on an emotional roller coaster of hearing something I’ve longed to hear and on the other side that I’m a grown man just now hearing and feeling this way was infuriating.

As mom passed I truly began to see you as a broken man not simply just a man that broke me and left me with many scars today. I have had to remind myself of this daily and suck up my pride to connect with you daily to make sure you’re ok. There were moments of hope even if they were just a sliver it was still hope none the less. Hope that you would finally get the help needed so you could finally live a life of freedom. But every time that hope seemed to slip away or be a naive hope at best. I do want you to know I love you. And I pray you know that and felt it with the visits and the almost daily phone calls.

But if I’m being honest it’s taking its toll on me… emotionally and mentally. I’m fighting to continue to see you in a positive light yet I keep coming back to how I’m watching a man who has given up and is withering away.Now I’m being flooded with the same feelings and emotions that little boy used to feel. You once again are choosing your true love…that bottle over you children. I want to help you. I wish I could take your addiction away from you. But you want it and want to stay the same as you always have …. And I guess that’s true for me as well….

As I’m still a helpless little boy looking for his father..

You are free now dad. I pray you finally have found the peace you so desperately needed this side of eternity. You will be missed dearly by your children and grandchildren. I know even though you are gone i will still have to fight to forgive you everyday. I Love you.

HOLY SPIRIT LEAD ME ON HOW TO CLOSE HERE!

Week 4 Questions:

1.What does it mean to you to be forgiven by God, and how does that influence your ability to forgive others?

2.How can pride hinder our ability to forgive? What steps can we take to overcome that pride?

3.Can you share a time when forgiving someone was particularly difficult for you? What emotions did you experience?