Forgiveness - Who, What, When, Where, How? and Why?

Introduction

Today I hope to answer some questions relating to forgiveness. The basic questions

of Who, What When Where How and Why

Sometimes we need a reminder of the basics of our faith.

Speaking of basics probably like a few of you after service. After lunch i’m going to watch football.

Well one of the greatest football coaches of all time Vince Lombardi head coach of the Green Bay Packers, in 1961, the first day of trining camp told his players. Held up a a football like this and said “Gentlemen this is a football”

Well ladies and Gentleman today we are going to pretend this is forgiveness.

Who?

Who are we to forgive?

Everyone. We are to show compassion If someone wrongs you we are to forgive them.

2 Corinthians 2:5–11 (NIV)

If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent—not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. Another reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.

Here Paul is encouraging the Corinthians to forgive and have compassion on a man who is repentant and endureded enough punishment. He is overwhelmed by his sorrow. Paul says anything you forgive I also forgive. Paul all states that he forgives them if their is anything to forgive in the sight of Christ.

He also states this needs to be done to prevent Satan from outwitting them. Paul understands and is stating that one way we defeat the enemy is too forgive. The enemy wants us not to forgive. Which leads to

Everyone includes ourself.

One of the hardest things to do is to forgive ourselves for something we’ve done. Just as we need to forgive others we have to forgive ourselves it is part of the healing process.

Who is forgiveness for?

It’s for you. The reason the enemy wants us to not forgive.

In Nickel Mine PA back in 2006 a horrible incident took place Charles Roberts . Entered an Amish school house killed 5 girls and injured 5 others then took his own life.

6 days after the shooting and after burying their daughters the Amish Community forgave Roberts and attended his funeral.

Esh Sr. the father of one of the boys that was at the school that day said this “It will eat you up”

You see we forgive others not for their sake but for ours wether they chose to accept it or not.

If you chose not to forgive it will as Esh Sr. said eat you from the inside out. Unforgiveness starts as small thing and if you never relase it. It starts as anger which is okay it’s okay to be mad and angry we are emotional beings.

Now if you do not let go of your anger and forgive it moves to bitterness.

One phrase you may have heard is resentment is like drinking poison hoping the other person dies. It’s a cancer that will destroy

See bitterness then moves to hatred. Hatred is what Paul was warning about this is the scheme of the enemy. Hatred will separate you from God. It’s a cancer that will destroy you.

Forgiving others saves us from ourselves.

What?

What is forgiveness?

Cambridge dictionary defines forgiveness as the following

Forgiveness- to stop blaming or being mad at someone for something that person has done, or not punish them for something:

Cambridge Dictionary

What are we to forgive?

Everything, we all have been wronged. at one time or another.

Their is a great book you may have heard of called the Shack. If you don’t know the premise is that a father is dealing with the aftermath of the murder of his daughter. In the shack he is visited by the all three representations of the Trinity The Father, Son and Spirit their he learns to forgive the man who murdered his child.

I often ask myself would I forgive someone if they hurt one of my loved ones. My first thought is I would want to take revenge but then I remember the words of Paul to the Romans

Romans 12:19 (NIV)

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

Paul is referring himself to

Deuteronomy 32:35 (NIV)

It is mine to avenge; I will repay.

In due time their foot will slip;

their day of disaster is near

and their doom rushes upon them.”

You see it is not our place to seek revenge that authority belongs to one. The Father above.

Some things are easier to forgive than others. It’s easy to forgive a coworker if they steal a pen off your desk, but if someone hurts you or someone you love. It’s not easy but we are to forgive everything from the smallest infraction to the most aggress violations against us.

When?

When are we to forgive?

Always, no matter the violation we are to always forgive others.

One show I like to watch is called court cam it shows real court room proceedings and they show a lot of segments of the impact statements of the victims or the victims families and friends to the person found guilty. Most of the time person gets up and says something to the effect of I will never forgive you or I hope one day to forgive you but not today.

Then every once in awhile one of them expresses that they forgive the person.

This stands out because it is the opposite of how we feel we want that person to suffer and hurt like us. The way to let go of the pain is to forgive.

When did others forgive?

Jesus when he was on the cross said.

Luke 23:34 (NIV)

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

Stephen when he was being killed by stoning.

Acts 7:59–60 (NIV)

While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he fell asleep.

Both Jesus and Stephen chose to forgive as they were being killed the men that were killing them.

Where?

Where does forgiveness come from?

It comes from God. We in our own capacity do not have the ability to forgive others.

We ask God for the strength to forgive when it is not within our capacity to do so.

Where do sins go when forgiven?

Psalm 103:12 (NIV)

as far as the east is from the west,

so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Isaiah 43:25 (NIV)

“I, even I, am he who blots out

your transgressions, for my own sake,

and remembers your sins no more.

God removes our sin and forgets it. It’s as if it never happened. God do you remember when I did this. his answer is No

How?

How often are we to forgive?

Every time someone wrongs us.

Matthew 18:21–22 (NIV)

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Jesus didn’t mean we should only forgive 490 times. Jesus is really trying to teach that we always forgive because he always forgives.

How do we Forgive?

It is simple but can be difficult. Sometimes its simple and we can forgive easily. Other times its a process.

Going back to the Amish Christ Stoltzfus who lost his daughter said “it’s a journey. I still made that immediate choice in principle. But it took me a few years until I could feel that I really meant it inside me, to forgive Charlie.”

Sample Prayer Lord Jesus ____ has wronged you told me that I must forgive to receive your forgiveness. I do not have it within myself to forgive them. Allow the Holy Spirit to rise upwithin in me and rely on your strength where I have none to forgive them. By your power I forgive ____.

Why?

Why do we need forgiveness?

Romans 3:23 (NIV)

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

We all deserve death for the price of sin but through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross we can be forgiven.

Why do we forgive?

To receive forgiveness ourselves from God.

Jesus said the following

Matthew 6:14–15 (NIV)

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Mark 11:25 (NIV)

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

If we do not forgive others God will not forgive us.

Forgiveness is the first step in healing.

It removes us from the oppression of the enemy to the grace of God.

The pain and suffering is exposed and can then be cleaned.

Closing

Who? - Everyone including ourselves

What? - Everything

When? - Always

Where? - It comes from God’s mercy

How? - It’s a process and through God’s mercy

Why? - To receive forgiveness ourselves from God and to foil the schemes of the enemy.

As you think on these things

Maybe there is someone you need to forgive?

Maybe you need to forgive yourself and accept God’s mercy and grace