Do’s and Don’ts Within a Church Community

We’ve come to the last section in the letters from John where we are introduced to two individuals other than just Gaius. The theme on this message is going to simply be do’s and don’ts of being in a church community. Both of the individuals mentioned, Diotrephes and Demetrius, belong to the same church that Gaius is a leader in. Within these do’s and don’ts we will be reminded of being morally good according to the standards of God.

We begin by looking at verse 10 where John has written to the church but it has been largely ignored by Diotrephes. We do need to understand that the instruction that was given by John to the church was biblical and in line with the character of God.

With that being said, first,

Do Not Put Yourself First

Everything that we know about Diotrephes stems from this one thing. We should understand that we must never be self-centered. Romans 12:10 reminds us that we must attempt to outdo one another in honor. This extends to all sorts of areas of the church, not just honor. We should attempt to love others above ourselves and thus put them first.

Romans 12:10 ESV

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

John says something very similar when his followers if they should be following Jesus. He responds with “He must increase, but I must decrease.” We ought to think about one another in the same way. We should put our preferences aside for the preferences of one another. We should put our personal desires aside for the edification of the group.

When we put ourselves first, it comes across loudly more often than not. Other people take notice quickly at the selfishness that exists rather than a focus on the kingdom.

It is Diotrephes’ putting himself first that leads to the next point.

Do Acknowledge Spiritual Authority

John has given instruction to the church and while we don’t know what the instruction is, we know the Diotrephes does not acknowledge it and therefore does not recognize the spiritual authority of John and the other church leaders. Because this is being written to Gaius and Gaius was a church leader, it is clear that he would have taken this as a slight and been offended.

When it comes to authority, Jesus was given authority by the Father (See Matthew 28) and he gave that same authority to the twelve disciples in Luke 9. Now, when a pastor or deacon is ordained, the church recognizes the God given authority of a church leader.

It is difficult to grapple with but we have to keep in mind that the Lord has placed these people in our lives and among our congregation for His glory and the good of the people!

With the selfishness and denial of Spiritual Authority of Diotrephes we see continued acts of sin in verse 10.

Do Not Gossip

John has mentioned in previous letters that he would like to come and visit and says that if he does once again he will address the wicked nonsense that is being spoken against the church leaders. The idea that we find here is that there are things being mentioned about John and others that don't make any sense based on who they are. Such talk about someone is slanderous and should not be tolerated.

When we think about our conduct in a body of believers, we ought to keep in mind that, as people of truth, we should be committed to speaking the truth about other people at all times. This is a further count against Diotrephes.

But this habit of slander was not enough, writes John. The next note for us is,

Do Be Welcoming to the Brothers

John has just finished commending Gaius for his faithfulness in showing hospitality to missionaries. However, it seems as though Diotrephes is of the opposite mindset and does not welcome the brothers.

I want to extend this point beyond simply showing hospitality to missionaries and think about how we treat our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. We should willingly fellowship with them on a regular basis and desire. But John doesn’t include this as much to instruct Gaius to do it as to lead to the next point.

Do Not Prevent Others From Doing Good

We need to remember here that Diotrephes is not simply the average church member. Instead, he is in a position of leadership and power and it seems clear that because he does not like to welcome the brothers, he does all that is in his power to put a stop to others being so welcoming. Even in a moment where he might voice his displeasure, he goes beyond this and puts them out of the church.

This runs counter to everything that the church ought to be about. Leaders ought to use their authority for building up rather than for their own selfish agenda. All too often we see examples of church leaders exercising their authority in all of the wrong ways. It is a good thing to apply putting others first in any situation to determine whether or not something should be initiated.

Verse 10 is a bit of a transition but does a great job of tying between Diotrophes and Demitrius. Finally

Do Not Imitate Evil but Instead Do Good

We are reminded here that those who have seen God will do good. It is interesting that the bible bounces back and forth between the Christian knowing God and seeing God. These are equal and gives a great understanding of the gospel. Because a person has seen God, they have a much better grasp on the need that we all have for a Savior and once they have surrendered their lives to that Savior, they then know Him.

This also completes a three set check for morality that John gives in this letter. Truth, v. 3-4. Love, v. 6. Goodness, v. 11.

All three of these should be characteristics of God that we apply to our own lives.

It is also vital that we consider who we are being influenced by. We have an example that shouldn’t be mimicked but verse 12 gives an example of what we should do. It is important that we imitate what

I want to close this morning by looking at the result of applying all of these do’s and don’ts. The result of doing good and living in a way that avoids that of Diotrephes and embraces that of Demetrius is a testimony. Demetrius is well spoken of by everyone.