Wrestling With Forgiveness
Notes
Transcript
Introduction
Introduction
Review of Relational Forgiveness Model
This Sermon:
Consideration of various questions pertaining to forgiveness
Key attitudes and characteristics to help us pursue godly forgiveness
What if Reconciliation is Impossible?
What if Reconciliation is Impossible?
Various Reasons Reconciliation Might Not Be Possible
Offender refuses to repent
Death of one party
Other exception
We go as far as we can!
No repentance—we pursue as far as we can:
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
Is an offense such that we are willing to take it to the congregation and see another Christian disfellowshipped?
Continued unrepentance: Love our enemies
Death: We develop the mindset/readiness to forgive (or we repent)
Example of Jesus (Luke 23:34) & Stephen (Acts 7:60)
Other Exceptions
Example: Divorce and Remarriage
While there may be various times when reconciliation is impossible, we should recognize such times as exceptions, not the rule.
What About Punishment, Consequences, and Criminality?
What About Punishment, Consequences, and Criminality?
Since sin is wrongdoing, we naturally thing about punishment and justice when thinking through such situations.
Punishment
Punishment
Individuals
Individuals
No—we are not given the right to punish or seek vengeance
19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
Congregations
Congregations
Congregations can/should withdraw fellowship from an unrepentant, sinning Christian (Mt. 18:17)
While this withdrawal is considered a punishment (cf. 2 Cor. 2:6), it is also meant to encourage repentance
5 you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.
20 among whom are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan that they may learn not to blaspheme.
Civil Government
Civil Government
Criminal behavior (even the worst sort) can be repented of and forgiven (and our goal should be for such sinners to repent and be restored)
Forgiveness DOES NOT mean the church hides or covers up criminal behavior. Lawbreakers are subject to the governing authorities
3 For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, 4 for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer.
13 Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, 14 or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. 15 For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people.
20 For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God.
Examples:
Theft | Causing an accident while driving drunk | Physical Abuse | Molestation
Consequences
Consequences
When someone sins, we are often quick to point out that their actions have consequences. And that may well be true.
Individually: Trust takes time to build, and takes time to rebuild
Congregational: A man may live in such a way early in life that disqualifies him from being an elder later in life!
Congregation: A treasurer caught stealing might repent, make it right, and be forgiven, but likely won’t be entrusted as treasurer again. Not only because of the destroyed trust, but for his own benefit and safety!
Civil: Punishments, fines, jail time, etc.
Consequences should not be used as a guise for punishing others in vengeance!
We must be satisfied in the cross and forgiveness
What About Non-Christians?
What About Non-Christians?
Mt. 18 & Luke 17 say “if your brother sins against you…” This would indicate Jesus is primarily speaking about our brethren.
Mt. 18 cannot be fully applied to a non-Christian
BUT…There are Few ways we can actively demonstrate the love of Christ to a non-Christian like extending grace, mercy, and real, relational forgiveness.
Pillars of Forgiveness
Pillars of Forgiveness
Wisdom
Wisdom
Navigating situations of sin, brokenness, and hurt is going to require wisdom.
Jesus teaches principles, but applying those principles in various situations will require thoughtfulness and wisdom.
Patience
Patience
Pursuing forgiveness can take time, and we must be patient. Relationships are often broken over time, and mending them takes time as well. As God is patient with us, we are patient with others
Commitment
Commitment
We must know the goal (Reconciliation) and choose to commit to that goal
Humility
Humility
Pride is a great enemy of repentance and forgiveness. If we are to pursue forgiveness that is like the Lord’s, then we must have the same mindset as the Lord.
3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
Love
Love
At the end of the day, are we willing to love others, even those who have hurt us and sinned against us? Are we willing to choose love as the Lord chose love?
5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. 7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. 8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. 9 You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. 10 But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11 If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
Conclusion
Conclusion
We are called to reject the natural inclination of bitterness, hatred, and malice, and instead forgive. We are even called to forgive as the Lord has forgiven us:
31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Forgiveness is of vital importance, for it is one key way in which we walk in love and become imitators of God
1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.