Watching Your Life Closely

TABLE TALK Questions

1 Timothy 4:16 (ESV)

16 Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers.

Though Paul wrote this to Timothy as he ministered to churches, it also applies to parents who are spiritual leaders of their children. What are exhortations in this verse? What is the encouragement? What is meant by “save your hearers (your children)?”

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Parents flying with young children are told to Put your oxygen mask on first. Then put your child’s mask on.

Put you’re on before trying to assist your child.

“I am actually more help to my children when I am fully receiving oxygen. “if I really care about my children, I will care for myself first.

The First Priority of Discipleship

When Paul looked back on Timothy’s upbringing, he started with his most powerful influence - the examples of his life.

2 Timothy 3:14 (ESV)

14 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it

Her mother Eunice and grandmother Lois.

This principle of learning from the LIVING FAITH of the people around us is throughout the Bible.

“A leaders example is the first and greatest teacher.”

Moses & Joshua; Elijah and Elishah, Paul, Barnabas, Timothy, Titus.

Timothy and Titus were both urged to focus on their own walks and the examples that they set.

We learn primarily from imitation and modeling.

Personal Devotions

Modeled Hospitality

There are also things we model that we don’t want our kids to pick up.

Short temper, Critical Spirit…

“Our ability to see what’s wrong has been given to us by God so that we can make things right.” -Chandler

We have the opportunity here to model repentance. My children get to see first hand their dad being sanctified.

We find this same emphasis in Deuteronomy. Before God commands certain activities of the parents, he focused on the affections of the parents.

Deuteronomy 6:5–6 ESV

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.

PARENTS… the first priority is your own heart.

**Much of what we deal with within the lives of our children are stemming from heart issues. How will we ever deal with their heart issues if we ourselves are not making sure that the Word of God is shining light, exposing, and replacing the wretchedness of our own heart.

WE TOO OFTEN ARE TRYING TO CLEAN UP THE OUTER MAN… NOT JUST WITH OUR CHILDREN<<< BUT OURSELVES!

I. Target the heart as the organ in need of change

o The Bible teaches that people are duplexes: They have two parts: The outer man (body) and the inner man (the heart, soul, spirit, etc.) – (Matt. 10:28, 2 Cor. 4:16).

o The heart is the well-spring of life (Prov. 4:23

Proverbs 4:23 ESV

23 Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.

Everything in a person’s life comes out of the heart.

It is the Mission Control Center.

o The outside of a person reveals the inside (Luke 6:43-45, Mark 7:14-23).

o God is most interested in the heart (1 Sam. 16:7, Ps. 51:6: 6 Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, [1], 10).

o Outside change without inside transformation is condemned by Jesus (Matt. 23:25-28

Matthew 23:25–28 ESV

25 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. 26 You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean. 27 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness. 28 So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

. For real change to occur, the heart must be addressed.

“A change in behavior that does not stem from a change in heart is not commendable, but condemnable.” – Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child’s Heart, 4.

Grow closer to the Lord Jesus because of His great love for you! He wants you! He is a personal God.

And let your example be one where it will be able to be absorbed from your child but also evaluated well.

Authenticity or Hypocrisy?

2 Timothy 1:5 (ESV)

I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.

Sincere is the first word that Paul uses here to describe the faith Timothy had seen.

ἀνυπόκριτος: anypokritos: without hypocrisy; genuine.

Hypocrisy? Not practicing what you preach? While agreeing with the high ethical call of following Christ, we don’t practice it.

Rom. 7 shows that even Paul was a hypocrite in this case.

Romans 7:15–17 ESV

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

When it comes to this thought, none of us can keep the standard of Christ. Are we called to a life of holiness? YES! With the understanding that on this side of glory we will not fully attain it. Nonetheless, we are to still pursue it.

True hypocrisy is not falling short, true hypocrisy is falling short and not repenting of it. Not caring that we are lukewarm. Not taking the responsibility for our own sin.

WE MUST BE CAREFUL NOT TO BE A PHARISAICAL PARENT…

We must be careful not to bring some Pharisaical sins into the context of our family. Because our children will pick up on them.

In fact, I think this is much of the problem Christian families are dealing with in today’s society. There have been these sins going on within Christian homes for generations.

Point out the speck in our children or spouse’s eyes while unaware of the log in your own eye.

Act and speak differently in secret when only our children see us.

Think of ourselves as mature, while assuming it’s our children and spouse who need the Savior.

Focus on looking good on the outside and ignore fighting the sin on the inside.

Focus only on outward obedience rather than the heart-changing grace that all of us need.

There is this RELIABILITY PORTION to our modeling. FOR US TO BE RELIABLE IN OUR MODELING, A MAJOR POINT OF OUR INTEGRITY MUST BE IN OUR ABILITY TO REPENT QUICKLY, EASILY, AND THOROUGHLY.

YOU WILL SEE IN YOURSELF, AND OTHERS WILL POINT OUT TO YOU, WHERE YOU HAVE FALLEN SHORT of being the reliable disciple-maker you are called to be. None of us will walk in perfection before God or before our kids, but you can be reliable in the way you confess and repent of your sin where and when you should. That means you will repent always to God, always to who you sinned against, and often in the witness of your family. You who follow Jesus will repent often and you will experience profound grace and forgiveness for each other and from God since none of you are perfect. It is all part of your ongoing mission to deny yourself and put sin to death in your life. Though the race for your salvation has already been won in Christ, we run the race of this life fixated on Christlikeness, fighting sin as if to win. We dash with every ounce of effort we can muster to arrive at the finish line to cheers from our heavenly father crying out with a roaring approval, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” -FAMILY DISCIPLESHIP BY CHANDLER

Slaying the Hypocrite in Us All

What my children need most is my personal holiness. - Robert Murray (Scottish Pastor)

God has given us sinful children to shine a floodlight on ways we need to grow; yet this growth will be short circuited if we are not willing to repent of specific sins.

Living Faith or Dead Works?

How do we have a living faith? Rather than just dead hypocritical works?

How can we exemplify a living faith?

Four ways Bettis tells us to focus on…

What I am excited about reveals a living faith.

Children will pick up on what you’re excited about.

It is not just what you do. It is what you are excited about. If I have learned anything in 35 or 40 years of teaching, it is that students don’t learn everything I teach them. What they learn is what I am excited about, the kinds of things I emphasize again and again. And that had better be the gospel… Make sure in your own practice and excitement, that what you talk about, think about, exude confidence over, what you are enthusiastic about is JESUS. - D.A. Carson

One way to see what you are most excited about… look at your bank account statement. This may reveal something there.

Look at your search history… or lack thereof…

Look at what books you read, or don’t read.

“Joyful values are more caught than taught.”

“Am I genuinely excited about the Lord, His Word, and His working in my life and those around me?

My communion with the Holy Spirit reveals a living faith.

“Why do you think that your parents love the Lord?”

How many times a week do they see in reading God’s Word?

How many times do they witness you praying?

How many times a month do they see you serving others outside of your family?

My service to others reveals a living faith.

Our children need to see us living for something greater than them.

Matthew 20:26–28 (ESV)

… But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

My deliverances reveal a living faith

Standing stones.

Bethel

The first Biblical reference to memorial stones comes in Genesis 28: 10-22, when Jacob set a pillar in Bethel to commemorate a powerful vision of God that he experienced while sleeping there. The experience was so striking that Jacob felt that it must be commemorated, so he erected the stone upon which he slept.

Jacob did not want to forget what God had given him. Bethel, meaning ‘House of God’, then became an important centre for worship. By physically remembering what God had done, Jacob increased his faith and the faith of those who later worshipped there.

Gilgal

In Joshua 4:1-8 God commands the Israelites to cross the Jordan River which He has stopped miraculously. Joshua leads the 12 tribes to remove boulders from the riverbed, which they erect in the Promised Land in a place called Gilgal. These 12 stones of Jordan were a memorial to God’s love and miraculous assistance.

However, these stones are appreciating not just by those who witnessed the miracle. Joshua 4:21-22 explains that ‘In the future your children will ask, “What do these stones mean?” Then you can tell them, “This is where the Israelites crossed the Jordan on dry ground.”’ God longs for us to proclaim His goodness to future generations.

The remembrance stones in Gilgal reminded future generations of the God of miracles so that their faith would be renewed. We believe that Eternal Wall will do this as it memorialises Jesus for centuries.

Ebenezer

1 Samuel 7:7-12 depicts the Israelites under imminent attack from the Philistines. God leads them to victory, so Samuel erects a large stone and names it Ebenezer, meaning ‘the stone of help’. Samuel recognised the source of their victory and publicly declared it. By commemorating God’s goodness in a permanent way, it ensured that the Israelites would not forget God’s grace. The memorial stones made sure that all glory went to God, the illustrator of Israel’s success.

These monuments would remind the people of Israel of God’s miraculous work in the Nation’s life.

***Set forth some visual markers.

- Write down things that happen in a journal.

- Try your best to keep a Bible for the whole time of your children growing up.

- Have Bibles of their own where you underline some of your favorite bible verse. Write down events of their lives in the Bible’s you bought for them.

Conclusion

We need to make sure that we are parents who are putting on the oxygen mask first.

Be swimming in the pages of scripture.

Be serving outside of your family.

Pray. Pray often. Look for opportunities to pray.

DISCIPLE MAKING PARENTS FOCUS ON THEIR OWN WALKS FIRST.

For Thought, Discussion and Action

Teens often talk about hypocrisy in the church and home as one reason they walk away. How did we define hypocrisy today. Which of the Pharisaical tendencies resonate with you?

What are some ways to set up some visual markers of what God has done in your life and in the life of your family? Are there some real interventions in your life where God did a wonderful work that you can tell your children about?

What do you think about the quote, “I want my children to know that I lived for something greater than them.”? Do you agree or disagree? How do we do this practically?

Here is a reflection question, you don’t have to answer this out loud but you can think about it. Is there any besetting secret sin in the home that your children know about that is destroying your witness to them: like anger, excessive drinking, excessive marital fighting? Are you willing to seek confidential help from a believing friend or Pastor?