Who We Are Week 4

Did you know that Taylor Swift’s song We Are Never Getting Back Together was her first single (of many) to top the Billboard Top 100? And since then—different people on the Internet might debate the actual number—she’s released somewhere around 63 different songs about breakups.

Here’s one of the OG breakup songs:

Play Anthem Lights T Swift Cover Video*

And whether you’re the one breaking up with someone or you’re the one being broken up with, I think it’s safe to say that for a significant portion of the population, breakups are a big deal. And I think that’s because even if the breakup is a good idea, it can still be incredibly painful for everyone involved.

Anytime someone separates from someone they’re close with, there are going to be challenges, right? There can be a lot of blame, a lot of guilt, sometimes friends start choosing sides… and after all of it, there is sometimes the temptation to get back together, even though nothing has changed and all of the reasons for the breakup still apply!

And moving on is sometimes even more complicated, especially when two people who just went through a breakup decide to move on at two different speeds. This can lead to judgment and jealousy, neither of which is good for any kind of relationship.

To put it simply, breakups are messy.

SCRIPTURE (What does God’s Word say?)

To wrap up our series called Who We Are, I want to talk about a somewhat different kind of breakup, one that Jesus actually describes in John 15:19:

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19 The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you. (John 15:19 – NLT)

In a lot of ways, Jesus is talking about a messy breakup. And just like a messy breakup, it’s a lot more complicated than it might first appear. So, before we go too much further, I really want to break this down and make sure that we really understand what Jesus is saying here.

Let’s start by asking ourselves who Jesus is talking to exactly. In this passage, He’s with His disciples, possibly during the Last Supper or at least some time between the Last Supper and His arrest. That means that Jesus has just predicted that Judas would betray Him, that Peter would deny Him, and that His death was imminent.

To say the very least, things were tense. Over the course of Chapters 14 through 17, Jesus has a lot that He wants to share with His disciples. He tells them about the Holy Spirit, He talks a lot about God the Father, and He promises that soon their sorrow will be turned into joy. But right in the middle of all of it, He says the two sentences we just read.

And since Jesus knew that He only had a limited amount of time left with His disciples, it makes sense that Jesus would use this time very purposefully, making sure that the disciples knew and remembered what was important… which is why I think it’s a good idea for us to understand what Jesus is saying here, too.

So, let’s read the passage again…

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19 The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you. (John 15:19 – NLT)

Think of it this way. At one point, we were all part of the world. That means we shared its values, shut out God, and did things that were different from God’s best for our lives.

If you are a Christ-follower, that means that Jesus came and helped change your perspective. You started to see the world differently, and you started to see Jesus differently. You decided to step out of the world as you knew it and become a follower of Jesus.

In other words, when you started following Jesus, you broke up with the world just like the disciples did. You left it behind and went in a different direction.

Interestingly, Jesus also says that the world now hates Christ-followers since we no longer share the same outlook, goals, and priorities as everyone else. Can I be honest? I really struggle with this one because hate is such a strong word, and I think using words like hate make it easier for us to convince ourselves that we’re the victims.

But I don’t think that’s what Jesus wants at all. You see, He’s saying that when we follow Him, the world simply isn’t going to understand, and when two people who used to be on the same page suddenly disagree, that can cause conflict, anger, resentment, and even hate. But I want to be clear: this does not make us victims. It just means that we’re on a different path than we used to be. And, yes, the rest of the world might get upset because of our new path, but that’s to be expected.

INSIGHTS (What might this Scripture mean?)

So, now that we have a little bit better of an understanding of what Jesus said, there are a few key ideas in this passage that I want to make sure we all catch.

The first one is…

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You no longer belong to the world.

Jesus tells us that we are “no longer part of the world” because He chose us to “come out of the world.” He’s saying that when we became Christ-followers, we changed. We became different. The Apostle Paul describes it this way:

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17b anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

(2 Corinthians 5:17b – NLT)

When we begin to follow Jesus, it’s like starting a brand-new life. Our outlook changes, our goals change, and our priorities change. And it’s only natural that our outlook, our goals, and our priorities no longer align with what we wanted when we belonged to the world.

Now, sometimes, when someone is trying to be nice during a breakup, they might say something like, “It’s not you… It’s me.” But this time, we actually mean it! It’s us!

The challenge for us is to not use that as a reason to judge other people. We need to remember that when we begin following Jesus, we become different, but we don’t become better than others. In fact, when we follow Jesus’ example, the hope is that we begin to feel more love and compassion for those around us who don’t yet know Jesus like we do. Jesus Himself explained it this way:

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43 You have heard the law that says, “Love your neighbor” and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! (Matthew 5:43-44 – NLT)

Instead of judging others who do not yet follow Jesus, if we follow His example, we should strive to love them even more.

Another big idea that jumps out is…

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2. Jesus chose you first.

[Teacher note: You may need to adjust this next paragraph to best reflect your own experience.]

When I was younger, I remember people asking this question: “Have you decided to follow Jesus?” And I totally get what they meant, but this question always made me think that deciding to follow Jesus was the first step in being a Christ-follower. However, when I read passages like John 15:19, I think it’s possible that this question misses an important first step.

Remember, in the second part of John 15:19, Jesus says three very important words:

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19 The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you. (John 15:19 – NLT)

It’s crucial for each of us to understand that following Jesus isn’t a one-sided relationship. It’s not just something we do on our own. Instead, when we come to believe in Jesus, scripture teaches us that this is only possible because He chose us first. In this way, we’re not just deciding to follow Jesus. Rather, we’re responding to the love that God first showed us by sending His Son, Jesus, as a sacrifice for our sins.

The Apostle John explains it this way:

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19 We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19 – NLT)

One of the most difficult things about any relationship is that there’s always a chance of rejection. But with Jesus, you don’t need to fear rejection because He has already chosen you. He knows everything about you, and still, He chose you before you even thought about choosing Him.

ACTION (How could we live this out?)

So, we know that we no longer belong to this world and that Jesus chose us first, but what do we do with this? How can we respond? Depending on where you are in your relationship with Jesus, I have a possible next step for you to take.

If you are new to your faith and still haven’t fully gotten to the point that you are following Jesus with your whole heart, I want to encourage you to…

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1. Break up with the world.

There comes a point when we all need to ask ourselves some really tough questions about who we are and who we want to be.

*Old Pic of PK*

“When I was 21, I was in a life of deep sin. I had all the wrong friends, went to all the wrong places, and did all the wrong things. And all that party life was fun for a while. But the sin in my heart was slowly destroying my soul. I was trying to fill a whole in my soul that could only be filled by Jesus. And in my darkest moment of deep depression when I wanted to give up on life, God called out to me through a man name Tony Allison. I turned from my sins, to to Jesus, and Christ saved me through and through.

A lot changed in a hurry. Instead of going to the club or the party at the apartment, I started going to church and Bible Study.

I lost a lot of friends through the process, but also gained better friends (they were only better bc Jesus had changed them too)

But I could no longer go to the same old places with the same old people because I had broken up with the world.”

Although no breakup is ever easy, I can tell you that, in my own life, what I’ve experienced as a follower of Jesus and the hope I have in Him is so much bigger and better than anything that the world has to offer.

If you think you might be ready to break up with the world and trust in Jesus with your whole heart, I’d love to have a conversation with you after our service so that I can pray for you and answer any questions that you might have.

And if you’re not sure if you’re ready yet, I’d still love to have a conversation! This is a safe space where you can ask questions and figure out the answers you need, and we’d be honored to help in any way we can.

If you have already trusted Jesus with your whole heart, but you’ve realized there are times when your words and actions look more like the world than they should, I want to encourage you to…

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2. Renew your commitment to Jesus.

I want to be absolutely clear: no one here is perfect. In fact, we’re not even close. And we’re not asking you to be perfect, either. We just know that things tend to work out better when we’re honest with ourselves and God about our daily struggles.

The Apostle Paul knew how easy it would be for us to slip back into our old habits and ways of doing things, even if we’ve been following Jesus for years. Here’s the advice he gives in Romans 12:2:

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2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. (Romans 12:2 – NLT)

If you’ve already trusted Jesus with your whole heart, I want to challenge you to stop looking back and keep looking forward.

And when you realize how difficult that can be, follow Paul’s advice by renewing your commitment to Jesus and asking God to help you to continue to grow into the “new person” that you are becoming.

And if you mess up, I want you to know that there’s no use in beating yourself up over it. Instead, when you realize that you’ve been looking backward instead of forward, be thankful that you were able to realize that you were off track. Then, set your focus back on Jesus and keep moving forward.

And remember, you’re not in this alone. We’re all at different points on that same journey. In other words, we’re all in this together.

And if you’re in a place where you have trusted Jesus with your whole heart, and you are growing closer to Him every day, I want to encourage you to…

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3. Pray for those who don’t trust Jesus… yet.

For every Christ-follower, there was a point in our lives before we followed. As you think about your friends and family who aren’t yet Christ-followers, I want you to focus on that word yet.

We can (and should) be praying for our non-believing friends as often as possible, asking God to show them how much He loves them and that He has already chosen them just like He has chosen us. But we also need to remember that not everyone is going to understand the love and the trust that we have in our hearts… and that’s okay.

Just like you can’t force anyone to love you, we can’t force anyone to love God. Instead, like we talked about last week, we’re called to be salt and light in our world, showing others God’s goodness and faithfulness in our lives so that they might one day recognize the same in their own lives.

How do we do that? By praying for them and praying that God would present us with opportunities to be salt and light in their lives. And when those opportunities pop up, we follow God’s lead. That might be by having a conversation with them or even inviting them to youth group, but the key to remember is that they might say no… and that’s okay.

I believe that I came to trust in Jesus at the exact right moment. God was working in my life in a way that brought me to the perfect moment of recognizing how much I love and need Him. And if I believe that about myself, I have to also believe that God is working in the lives of those around me. And if they say no, I need to be okay with the idea that maybe it's just not their moment… yet.

Does that mean we should stop praying for them? Absolutely not! Should we stop being salt and light in their lives? Of course not. It just means that we need to trust that God knows what He’s doing and that His timing and His plan are both better than anything we could come up with on our own.

Before we head out to our small groups, I just want to tell you how much I appreciate the environment that you have helped create here. It means so much to me that this is a place where students can safely ask questions and explore answers no matter where they are on their faith journey.

And lastly, I also want to pray together, thanking God for choosing us and giving us the ability to follow Him together.

Let’s pray.

[close in prayer.]

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