That’s What You Think
Notes
Transcript
Last week we looked at Job who finally displayed his anguish after the tragedies that had befallen his family: The loss of his oxen and donkeys, the loss of his sheep, the loss of his camels - all things that represented his wealth. The loss of his 10 children. Then his body covered in sores, and his upset and grieving wife.
All of this had to be overwhelming. Though many of us will in our lifetime face crises that in the moment and our context FEEL as catastrophic, from a distance and hopefully neutral position we can say that none of what we go through would be on par with the losses Job faced. We understand Job’s outcry and now we get to listen to a few of his friends.
As we consider Job’s friends we’ve already considered where they got it right: They came together to support Job, they made an appointment, they initially said nothing. For 7 days, they sat with Job and said nothing. Then (as we read last week) had his initial outburst.
Like many of us who have sat with someone in the midst of their grief during a tragedy the friends now grasp for a response and say the “right” thing.
Have you ever been there?
Take a moment here and think how you have responded to a friend in crisis, or perhaps how friends have responded to you. What was helpful? What wasn’t? What was said that you really appreciated? What was said that you wish could be taken back?
I wonder what Job’s friends might want to take back?
This morning we’re looking at the first speech of
Eliphaz אֱלִיפַז
Eliphaz אֱלִיפַז
We know little about him. We know he is referred to as the Temanite, which indicates he is from Teman a region and city in Edom. Other than he’s a friend of Job, that’s it. That’s all we know.
Each of Job’s friends comes to offer comfort and sympathy. They have wept with him, mourned with him, and held Shiva with him. So though we often disparage Job’s friends for their responses to Job’s crises the reality is in many ways they respond as we would with a mix of good and bad. We’re not good with grief. When we walk with a friend through it we are often there, but our ability and desire to stay with them i n the midst of their grief wanes. We’re ready to move on, but the one in the midst of grief is still in the throes of despair.
Perhaps that is why in our modern culture we have individuals who have dedicated their professional lives to helping people in the midst of it. We have counselors, grief support groups, pastors, psychiatrists, doctors, nurses, and more.
It’s also a heads up for us as Christians to be more aware that just because we feel we’ve finished the grief journey others may still be int he midst of it.
So, back to Eliphaz. He starts out well, in that he asks a question.
“If one ventures a word with you, will you be impatient? Yet who can keep from speaking?
The first question is almost asking permission, that’s a positive - asking permission to speak. The second though seems to reveal his impatience with Job.
Through his speaking we learn more of Job, he begins by affirming Job in who he is and what he’s done in the past:
Behold, you have instructed many, and you have strengthened the weak hands. Your words have upheld him who was stumbling, and you have made firm the feeble knees.
Job had mentored others in their faith journey. They all know of his faith in God. Job has taught many, giving them strength in the midst of their struggles.
And then v. 5 we hear that conjunction we’ve become so aware of that discounts everything that comes before.
But now it has come to you, and you are impatient; it touches you, and you are dismayed.
All of us are dismayed when hit with crisis. It offsets our equilibrium. It’s difficult to get our bearings. Eliphaz than points to Job’s faith:
Is not your fear of God your confidence, and the integrity of your ways your hope?
Sometimes asking someone questions can help them consider what is going on in the world around them.
Reminding one of their faith in God can help them get grounded again when their world seems to have been turned upside down.
Then though, Eliphaz seems to stray in his response. He is likely trying to understand himself the tragedy that has befallen his friend. Surely there is a REASON for all of this calamity. Right? It can’t be as simple as we live in a broken world.
Perhaps he is thinking out-loud, but his statements seem less than helpful.
As I have seen, those who plow iniquity and sow trouble reap the same. By the breath of God they perish, and by the blast of his anger they are consumed.
In verses 12-21 Eliphaz recounts a dream. As you read it the dream has a dark sort of sense about it. But the fact that he relates it to Job as a dream and a voice that comes to him as a dream is very much like elevating him to the level of prophet.
Prophets have dreams. God speaks to us in our dreams, and yet, not everything we dream is a message from God. As we unpack the dream of Eliphaz we find parts that raise some cautionary flags, don’t we?
‘Can mortal man be in the right before God? Can a man be pure before his Maker?
Mortal man…well, if you mean post fall the answer would seem to be “no”, yet then we get to Jesus who was fully man and the answer seems to be “yes”.
Even in his servants he puts no trust, and his angels he charges with error;
Who are God’s servants? Puts no trust? This doesn’t seem to make sense. Where does God charge his angels with error other than of Satan? This seems to be a veiled accusation against God himself. Then there are the references in v. 19
how much more those who dwell in houses of clay, whose foundation is in the dust, who are crushed like the moth.
the foundation is in the dust, and are crushed? This is reminiscent of the curse put on the serpent in the garden:
Genesis 3:14 (NIV)
So the Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, “Cursed are you above all livestock and all wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will EAT DUST ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR LIFE.
Genesis 3:15 (NIV)
And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will CRUSH YOUR HEAD, and you will strike his heel.”
This makes us want to consider who is the one speaking in this dream to Eliphaz? It doesn’t seem to be God. Yet Eliphaz in preparing to share with Job seems to elevate himself to the level of a prophet.
There’s much more that Eliphaz says in chapter 5, 15, and 22, and I encourage you to read those statements as well. Let’s summarize what we can learn from Eliphaz and friends:
Eliphaz got it right:
• Sat with Job
• Affirms Job
• Reminds Job of faith
Don’t simply dismiss everything the Eliphaz and his friends do in their efforts to console Job. Not everything they did was wrong, there are some real positives that we can learn from and want to emulate in our own attempts to be with someone in the midst of their grief.
Eliphaz got it wrong:
• Tries to determine reason
• Casts blame
• Elevates credibility
Attempting to determine the reason for a persons suffering while they are suffering is like trying to determine the reason for the plane crash while there are still victims needing to be rescued. First thing comes first. Stay in the moment.
Do not discount the power of your presence. You don’t need to have some great words of wisdom.
Don’t make it about yourself
Don’t cast blame on anyone. Recognize the wounds. Remember the great prophet Fred Rogers’ words: Whatever is mentionable is manageable. Simply recognizing and naming the crisis and being there in the midst of it is enough.
Finally, be cautious when trying to share some great spiritual insight. Yes, people need spiritual guidance. Yet, we also need to be careful what spirit we are quoting.
Even if you’re quoting Scripture be cautious. Are you seeking to elevate your credibility? Are you seeking to make yourself look more spiritual than the person you’re seeking to help?
The friends of Job give us much to ponder. I encourage you to read Job’s responses to Eliphaz in chapters 6-7, 16-17, and 23-24. He has much to say as well.
Next week: Job’s responses
Next week: Job’s responses