Genuine Forgiveness

Introduction

My wife surprised me this week for my birthday. She set it up for my best friend, Ben Foxworth, to come over Friday from Spokane with his wife, Callie. It was great seeing them, reconnecting and showing them Castle Rock and the surrounding area.

We drove up to Mt. St. Helens, where Ben was particularly interested, as he has a interest in the search for Bigfoot. That’s not really my thing, but it was fun to talk about anyway.

But, one thing that wasn’t fun to talk about was when we started talking about some difficulties I experienced at the church I was at before I came here. He was one of only two people who were there for me during one of the most difficult times in my years of pastoral ministry (the other being April, of course).

As I was thinking about that experience, I couldn’t help but think about the topic of today’s text: forgiveness. Specifically, giving forgiveness to people who you might not want to extend forgiveness to. Or people who you aren’t sure even deserve forgiveness.

But, forgiving others isn’t optional for Christians, according to Jesus:

Matthew 6:14–15 ESV

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Matthew 18:21–22 ESV

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Luke 17:3–4 ESV

Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

So, clearly, Jesus expects us to forgive.

But you say, “Yeah, but forgiving is hard!” You’re not wrong. But, Joseph stands as a shining example of forgiving when it’s hard. If ever anyone might justify refusing to forgive someone, and even getting revenge on those who hurt him, it would be Joseph. And yet, as we will see, we don’t see that at all in Joseph.

In fact, Joseph gives us a great example of what forgiveness looks like.

Body: Genesis 45:1-13

Verses 1-3

Joseph can not longer control his emotions, as he did before…(emotions so raw that even those he sent out from his presence still hear him!)

He reveals himself to his brothers, but they are dismayed...

Verse 4

Joseph reminds them of their sin against him, but without any hint of revenge seeking.

First lesson about forgiveness:

Forgiveness acknowledges that a wrong was done.

Forgiveness isn’t the denial that something bad happen to us or a hurt was done.

This is important, because some think:

If I forgive, I’m saying what happened was okay...

If I forgive, I need to forget what happened...

Neither of these mindsets are correct. In fact, we acknowledge that a wrong was done. Joseph does that in verse 4...

We acknowledge that a wrong was done because:

Forgiveness without a genuine reason to isn’t real forgiveness…(soften sorry)

We allow the other person the opportunity to repent...

True reconciliation is only possible when sin is acknowledged...

Verses 5-8

“…do not be distressed or angry with yourselves...”

“God sent me before you to preserve life...”

Joseph sees God’s hand at work in his trials and tribulations.

Joseph is not suggesting that it was God’s will for the brothers to sin against him. Instead, that God will use man’s sinfulness to bring about His good and perfect will...

So, essentially, God allowed this evil to come into Joseph’s life in order to “preserve for you a remnant” and “keep alive for you many survivors”.

“He has made me a father to Pharaoh...”

Forgiveness sees that God is at work in and through all circumstances.

Think about this for a moment, what if we approached hurts in a similar manner as Joseph? If we saw them as opportunities for God to do something?

Now, there’s no way to know if Joseph felt this way from the beginning, or if he grew into it over time.

I tend to think he grew into it, but maybe not. Regardless, Joseph’s words are instructive:

“…for God sent me before you...” Meaning, God was already at work before I experienced this wrong.

Again, this doesn’t mean that the hurt isn’t real. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect us. It is not a call to pretend like you’re okay with what happened.

In fact, Joseph clearly wasn’t because he tested his brother’s sincerity on multiple occasions.

What he doesn’t do is get revenge on his brothers. Even though he was certainly in a position to, and from a human point-of-view, would have been justified.

But Joseph decides to see things from a different perspective. God’s perspective.

And therein is the lesson. “What’s God going to do now that I’ve experienced this hurt?”

Like Joseph, you might not see for twenty years, but God is doing something!

Verses 9-13

Joseph commands the brothers to go and get their father, Jacob, and bring him to Egypt...

Goshen would be a blessing because it was far enough away from most of the Egyptians that they wouldn’t be influenced by the culture and religion of Egypt, but it was within the lands that Joseph could provide for them.

And, while most of the Egyptians were farmers, the Hebrews were shepherds. This would not only allow them with an opportunity to trade, but also would limit the competition for grazing land.

Forgiveness does not mean things will go back to the way they were, but it might lead to a better future.

Everything will change for Jacob and the brothers. They will need to move away from the Promised Land to a place that hasn’t always been great for Hebrews.

In revealing himself, Joseph doesn’t say, “Brothers, let’s go back to live in the land of our father.” He couldn’t. But, where he could bring them would be better for them, at least for the next five years.

It’s a reminder that forgiveness doesn’t mean that things go back to the way they were before.

Sometimes they do. Often, they don’t.

But forgiveness isn’t about going back. It’s about giving up our perceived right to get even with someone, and moving forward without the baggage that comes with unforgiveness.

An make no mistake about it, unforgiveness weighs us down with significant baggage!

As believers, the baggage we carry when we refuse to forgive not only stunts our spiritual growth (as baggage tends to), but we also ignore the command on Jesus:

Matthew 18:21–35 ESV

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

Let’s not be the wicked servant. Let’s forgive much as Christ has forgiven us much.