Amnon - A Shameful Son

Introduction

I began to name this the ‘Bible Person Study’, but chose to go with the ‘Bible Character Study’. I hesitated to name it that, as I don’t want to diminish the fact that these are real people we’ll be examining. But the reason that it’s named the Bible Character Study is because we’ll be focusing on the person’s character throughout. But don’t forget that these were real people, with real lives that made real choices that had real consequences.

I. Amnon’s Nature

((What is their History / Background?)

David’s Firstborn Son (2Sam. 3:2)

2 Samuel 3:2 “And unto David were sons born in Hebron: and his firstborn was Amnon, of Ahinoam the Jezreelitess;”

1 Chronicles 3:1–2 “Now these were the sons of David, which were born unto him in Hebron; the firstborn Amnon, of Ahinoam the Jezreelitess; the second Daniel, of Abigail the Carmelitess: The third, Absalom the son of Maachah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur: the fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith:”

This was David’s firstborn which, being in Hebron was before he took the throne over all Israel in Jerusalem.

By being the firstborn there are rights that come with that:

The firstborn recieved a double portion.

He also recieved another which we’ll examine next.

Amnon was David’s Firstborn Son

II. Amnon’s Notoriety

(What they are known for?)

Being a Prince and Heir Apparent

Not only did the firstborn receive a double portion, but Amnon was first in line for the throne!

So Amnon’s position was one of entitlement. It’s impossible to know, but possible that this feeling of entitlement led him in part to do and act the way that he did.

This is one reason we should constantly strive for humility - and given the natural inclinations of the flesh, it’s a constant battle.

The Scripture speaks of it:

Proverbs 18:12 “Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, And before honour is humility.”

Proverbs 22:4 “By humility and the fear of the Lord Are riches, and honour, and life.”

Matthew 5:3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

Mark 9:35 “And he sat down, and called the twelve, and saith unto them, If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all.”

Jesus was the example of it:

John 13:12–15 “So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you? Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.”

Amnon was prince and heir-apparent

Raping his Half-Sister (2Sam. 13:14)

This is of course the big thing that he’s known for - this and the utter wicked behaviour he exerted prior to and following the act itself.

Raping his Half-Sister

III. What Makes him Noteworthy

(What Lessons we can Learn from them?)

Lust and Love are Two Different Things

The Bible uses the word ‘love’, but in every description of the interaction, what Amnon had was nothing more than lust. Perhaps the Bible used the word love because that’s what Amnon THOUGHT he had, but it most certainly wasn’t love.

The Bible explains to us what love is: 1 Corinthians 13:4–8a “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth:”

Amnon wasn’t kind to Tamar

Amnon was puffed up

Amnon behaved unseemly

Amnon sought his own

Amnon rejoiced in iniquity

Amnon didn’t love Tamar - she was a beautiful woman and he lusted after her. He was confused.

This is no unusual though.

(Ill.) I asked some of my students recently to define love, and no one really could.

This is important for a few reasons:

Many young ladies get themselves in trouble because they fall for the smooth talk of boys telling them ‘they love them’. Lust and love are two different things. If they really love you, they will not pressure you to do things unseemly (which fornication is)

Young men need to understand that their lust confused with love can lock them into a relationship they have no business in.

Lust and love are two different things

Sin Never Performs to it’s Promise

Think of this:

Amnon was SOOOO in love with Tamar that he made himself sick. (v2)

He went through this elaborate lie to get what he wanted

Once he got it, did it make him happy? Was his life suddenly fulfilled? NO!

And that’s the thing with sin - it never performs to it’s promise.

(Ill.) Many drug addicts they get it in their minds that if they just have that ONE MORE FIX, it’ll make everything better. But all it does is provide a temporary relief, yet the end is worse than the beginning.

(Ill.) The adulterer, once the moment is gone, they’re left with regret & sorrow

Sin always has an allure to it, but the allure that it has never quite fills it’s promise.

It reminds me of the proverb: Proverbs 11:22 “As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, So is a fair woman which is without discretion.” In that it looks lovely, until you really see the ‘big picture’.

Sin Never Performs to it’s Promise

Choose your Friends & Counsel Carefully

Now we’re going to shift for a moment to one of Amnon’s ‘friends’, Jonadab.

Jonadab was actually not only his friend, but his cousin. If you want to see at a glance what kind of man Jonadab was, just compare 2Sam. 13:3 against Genesis 3:1 “Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?”

Godly Friends Rebuke Sin, not Entertain it

Godly friends - true friends that want the best for you, they’re not going to entertain sin, they’re going to rebuke it.

Think about this: Amnon is expressing this love / lust that he has for his SISTER! If Jonadab was any real friend at all, he would have said ‘Dude, you need help! That’s unnatural and it goes against the laws & Word of God!

Leviticus 20:17 “And if a man shall take his sister, his father’s daughter, or his mother’s daughter, and see her nakedness, and she see his nakedness; it is a wicked thing; and they shall be cut off in the sight of their people: he hath uncovered his sister’s nakedness; he shall bear his iniquity.”

Deuteronomy 27:22 “Cursed be he that lieth with his sister, the daughter of his father, or the daughter of his mother. And all the people shall say, Amen.”

Good, true, Godly friends will not encourage you to do what goes against the Word of God!

Proverbs 27:6 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

That means a friend might wound you, but it’s for your good - but an enemy will deceive you

Wise Counsel is Biblical

Be careful of counsel you receive that doesn’t line up with the Word of God.

I’ve already spoken of what God’s Word had to say about this, and Jonadab’s counsel was contrary to it.

If you come to me, that’s what you can expect - Biblical Counsel.

Choose your friends and counsel carefully

“Minor” sin can lead to Major Consequence

Amnon’s first sin wasn’t rape.

His first sin wasn’t deception.

His first sin was lust.

To many this is a victimless sin. No one is hurt, oftentimes, lust goes unnoticed by others around.

But here’s the problem. If minor sin isn’t dealt with, it will lead to major consequences.

His lust turned into deception, rape, destruction of a young woman’s life and the death of himself.

None of us is perfect. Even for those who are saved, we have two natures - the Spirit and the flesh. But the challenge for us Christians concerning sin is:

Keep yourself out of tempting situations

Had Amnon not been alone w/ Tamar, this wouldn’t have happened.

Recognize - not excuse the small sins in your life

Deal with them while they’re small before they metastasize into something greater.

Minor sin can lead to Major Consequence

Even Family can Lead you Astray

One thing that we must be aware of is that family can lead us into sin.

(Ill.) You’ve heard the saying ‘blood is thicker than water’, right?

Now let me say that I’m thankful for family - but just because someone is family, doesn’t mean that they’re right.

I have seen & experienced people who have put family before God - and NOTHING AND NOONE should be before Him!

Just as you shouldn’t blindly follow a pastor, you shouldn’t blindly follow a family member. They just might be wrong.

What did Amnon follow?

Jonadab’s Counsel

We’ve already spoken of how poor that counsel was.

But that’s not the only family Amnon followed. He followed David’s example.

David’s Example

I don’t think it coincidence that we see David’s sin in Ch. 11-12 and then Amnon’s in Ch. 13. Let’s examine what happened here:

David lusted and sinned

Amnon lusted and sinned

Amnon was just doing what his daddy did!

Then you consider this from David’s position - what could David say to Amnon that wouldn’t be hypocritical? All David did was get mad: 2 Samuel 13:21 “But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth.”

Family can lead you astray:

Family creates generational heathens

Family creates generational lukewarm Christians

Our ultimate guide shouldn’t be our family, but should be Christ! And if we love our family, we’ll do our best to be the best imitation of Christ we can be!

Even family can lead you astray

Drunkenness Leads to Destruction

2 Samuel 13:28 “Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, Mark ye now when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say unto you, Smite Amnon; then kill him, fear not: have not I commanded you? be courageous, and be valiant.”

Amnon went and got drunk and got himself killed - this happens too often.

(Ill.) I had a brother in law who liked to drink. He was out one night to a bar, got drunk and started running his mouth. Got in a fight, a week later died of traumatic brain injury.

(Ill.) Every day approx. 37 people die in drunk-driving crashes - one every 39 minutes. In 2022, 13,524 died in alcohol driving traffic deaths.

It’s a shame that so many Christians think that God is ok with intoxicating drink. They will try to use the Bible’s ambiguous use of the word ‘wine’ to justify this.

They will take clear Scripture which says:

Proverbs 20:1 “Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: And whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.”

(Read Pro. 23:29-35)

Anyone that can read these passages and come away thinking that God has not clearly stated his views on this subject is just trying to justify their position - not looking for the truth.

Drunkenness leads to destruction

Vengeance may be Delayed, but Surely Will Come

Notice it took over 2 years, but Amnon got what he deserved.

YES - HE DESERVED IT! It should have been his daddy to pronounce it, but he didn’t, so Absolom did.

I’M NOT SAYING IT WAS RIGHT, I’M SAYING HE DESERVED IT THOUGH!

There’s a couple relavent passages to consider:

Deuteronomy 22:25–27 “But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her: then the man only that lay with her shall die: But unto the damsel thou shalt do nothing; there is in the damsel no sin worthy of death: for as when a man riseth against his neighbour, and slayeth him, even so is this matter: For he found her in the field, and the betrothed damsel cried, and there was none to save her.”

Deuteronomy 22:28–29 “If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.”

She was not betrothed, but the second passage implies consensual sex, whereas the first deals with rape.

You know, if we had our laws to mirror the Word of God, we’d be a lot better off. I think all sexual offenders

The point is, Vengeance might have been delayed, but it happed all the same.

There’s a multitude of people who sin against God, spit on His face, they give no thought to the great price that Christ paid for them - they WILL get what’s coming to them. Vengeance might be delayed, but it will come to pass.

Vengeance may be Delayed, but Surely will Come to Pass

Conclusion