Family Ideologies

Essentials vs. Non-Essentials

Introduction:

There are always varying beliefs about understanding God's will.

Imagine all the Jews - who memorize scriptures, study it, teach it, talk about, debate it…EVERY DAY for centuries!

Their ideology of the Messiah… WAS NOT God’s will.

Now, take this concept and apply it to all kinds of “issues” we think we have solid understanding on.

1 Corinthians 8:1–3 NKJV

Now concerning things offered to idols: We know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. And if anyone thinks that he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know. But if anyone loves God, this one is known by Him.

Issues related to family are no exception.

Roles in Marriage:

Complementarian ideology: Distinct roles and authority for husbands and wives.

Egalitarian ideology: mutual submission and shared decision-making.

Birth control

Have children or not?

Women being home-makers or not? Titus 2:5

The “issues” among believers seem to be never ending AND always dividing.

Whether Marco Antonio de Dominis (15th AD)…

or Augustine of Hippo (5th AD)…

Or, the earliest of American Restoration Movement: "In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity" principle as a framework for navigating these differences.

The Essentials of Family

Core biblical teachings and principles regarding family.

God’s design for family starts with “marriage”:

Man and woman join us husband/wife. Gen 2:24

Genesis 2:24 NKJV

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

This is honorable to God. Heb 13:4

Hebrews 13:4 NKJV

Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

A family outside of this arrangement is not aligned with God’s will.

Roles within the family. Eph 5:22-23 ; 6:1-2

Ephesians 5:22–23 NKJV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

Ephesians 6:1–2 NKJV

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise:

Husband: Head of wife; Loves and sacrifices for her and children.

Wife: Honors her husband; head of her children: loves and

Children: Honor father and mother

The reflection of family/marriage - to God’s union with mankind (God/Israel; Jesus/Church). Jer 31:32 ; Eph 5:25-27

Jeremiah 31:32 NKJV

not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to lead them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, though I was a husband to them, says the Lord.

Ephesians 5:25–27 NKJV

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

We must unity have around these essential truths.

The Non-Essentials of Family

There are aspects of family life that are not clearly defined in Scripture.

Parenting styles: militant/soft; helicopter/hand-off; etc.

Division of household responsibilities: bills, household, outdoor

Child welfare: day-care or stay-at home; public; private; home-school?

Its important to grant liberty and avoid divisiveness in these areas. 1 Cor 8:1-3

1 Corinthians 8:1–3 NKJV

Now concerning things offered to idols: We know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. And if anyone thinks that he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know. But if anyone loves God, this one is known by Him.

Charity in All Things

Stress the need for love, compassion, and understanding as we engage with those who hold different views on both essential/non-essential family-related issues.

Ways to practice humility, patience, and grace towards one another.

Have meals, studies, or opportunities to meet and discuss:

How did you get to that conclusion?

Was it easy? How does your discussion compare/contrast to others (other cultures; generations; genders)

Conclusion

Examine your own beliefs and practices regarding family in light of the essential biblical teachings.

Pray over and grant liberty and extend charity towards those whose views on non-essential family matters may differ from their own.

Know that as we share the gospel with people in the community (differing cultural backgrounds) there will be varying (biblical and non-biblical) ideologies. Note, even within biblical ideologies there will be tension over what is essential vs. non-essential.