Rituals vs Relationship

START

Good morning!!!  My name is Ryan Hanson and I an honored to be back with you this week.

And being a family weekend, I am so excited that we get to start by having all the kids 10 and under come up front.

KIDS SERMON

Good morning kids.  How are you?

I’m so excited that you get to join us this weekend in service because today we’re going to talk about something that I think you can help the adults with.  Today we’re going to talk about prayer, something we all can do no matter what age we are.

Who here prays at home?  That’s great.  When do you typically pray at home? [assume the answer will be rhyming dinner prayers]

That is great.  Thanking God for the food we’re blessed with is awesome.  I know my kids come home from school and summer camps with all kinds of amazing new prayers for the dinner table.

Do you know that you can pray for more than just food?

I think of prayer as a conversation with God.  And since God is our Heavenly Father, do you know that we can talk to God in the same ways that we talk to our parents?

What kind of things do you talk to your parents about?

Yes, we thank our parents for things that they do for us, we ask forgiveness from our parents when we do something wrong, we ask our parents for help when we don’t know how to do something, and we ask our parents for the things that we need or want.

Do you know that you can do all the same things when you talk to God?

I’d challenge you all this week, to pray to God for something other than your meals.  Find something you’re thankful for, need forgiveness for, need help with, or that you really want to happen.

When you find these things, stop and pray.  And you can even help your parents remember to talk with God throughout the day as well.  Because you know adults get busy and sometimes forget.  We need your help.

Can we do this?  I think you can.  I can’t wait to hear how it went next week.  Make sure you come and tell me.

Thank you for your help.  You can go back and sit with your parents.

ME/INTRO

Today as we continue our series on Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount called Deeper, we’re going to try to answer a question that I think we’ve all asked at one point or another.   What do we do when life starts to feel like a to-do list?

More pointed, what do we do when our faith starts to feel like a to-do list?

I know I’ve been there before. Has anyone else been there?  Maybe you’re there now, and if you are, I am so glad that you are here.

It’s really easy to distill faith down to a few routine actions and fool ourselves into feeling like we’re doing okay.  All we need to do is go to church once a week, read your bible every morning, pray every night, and tithe on your paycheck and you’re good.  RIGHT???  Yet, I can do all these things and I feel like I’m missing something.

Luckily for us the disciples felt the same way and asked Jesus about it.

You see in the 1st century the Jewish people put us to shame when it came to the structure of their faith.  They ruthlessly followed the 613 Mitzvot (or commands in the Torah [the first 5 books of the Old Testament]).  As these rules were not specific enough for them they had the Rabbis interpret the rules and clarify exactly how people should live them out.  This was called the Talmud.  On top of all the commands / interpretations of those commands, the Jewish people also had a very strict daily routine.  They prayed the Shema (a prayer found in Deuteronomy 5:4-5) 2x per day.  They prayed the Amidah (which is the 18 blessings) 3x per day; morning, afternoon, evening.  They had a daily public reading of Torah.  They fasted 2x per week.  They were very strict on their observance of weekly Sabbath.  And on top of that, they had yearly festivals they celebrated to remember key events in Jewish history where God acted on Israel’s behalf.

The Jewish people knew how to structure their faith and it would have been very easy for their faith to be feel like a to-do list.  But when the disciples saw how Jesus lived out His faith, they felt like there was something they were missing.

I think the disciples were asking if there was more to faith that just doing.  More to faith than just checking off the religious check boxes.

I think the disciples were struggling with a verses in the Bible such as

Hosea 6:6 (TLB)

6 “I don’t want your sacrifices—I want your love; I don’t want your offerings—I want you to know me.

The disciples saw Jesus observe all the requirements of the law perfectly, but at the same time he had a real relationship with God the Father, seen especially clearly when He prayed.  Wanting that relationship for themselves the disciples asked Jesus in Luke 11, “Lord, teach us to pray”.

WE

Have you every felt this way?  Have you ever felt like your faith was just a list of check boxes?

Today we’re going to look at Matthew 6:5-15 and see how Jesus answered the disciple’s question by teaching them to pray, not as a scripted ritual, but as a conversation with God the Father, rooted in a deep and growing relationship.

I’m titling this message Ritual or Relationship.

GOD

Let’s jump in.  Will you join me in reading Matthew 6:5-15 where Jesus teaches the disciples how to pray.

Matthew 6:5–15 NIV

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. “This, then, is how you should pray: “ ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.’ For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

The first point I want to make is that right from the start of this passage, Jesus assumes that we are praying.

Matthew 6:5, 6, and 7

And when you pray…

So, I have to ask, are you regularly praying?  At this point, Jesus is not even going into how we should be praying, but He’s clear that we should be.  We all agree, you cannot have a relationship with someone you never talk to.

If you’re not praying regularly, I would encourage you to start the habit.  Find some time that you can block out every day and pray.  You don’t need to make a ritual out of it, but if setting an alarm helps you build the habit, maybe that is what you need to start.  But if you are serious about growing in your faith and deepening your relationship with God, you need to be a person of prayer.

Jesus goes on to clarify the motives we need to have when praying in

Matthew 6:5–6 NIV

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

I know when I hear some people pray, I’m intimidated.  They quote bible verses, get all the King James Thus and Thows just right, and they seem so polished.  Please hear me, there is nothing wrong with praying out loud.  Some people have the spiritual gift of prayer.  What Jesus is calling out is praying just to impress others.  It is at that point that we’re not praying to have a conversation with a God that we have a real relationship with.

So when you pray, motivation matters.

When you pray, make sure that you’re praying because you want to talk to God and not because you want someone to overhear and be impressed.

Now, after Jesus lays out the groundwork for prayer, it is then that He gives the disciples an example of how they should be praying.  Please note, this is not a scripted prayer that Jesus wants us to repeat verbatim.  Sometimes we do, and there is nothing wrong with that, but this was intended to be a template to guide us toward the topics that we should be talking to God about if we want a deep and growing relationship with God.

There are five verses in Jesus’ prayer and each can teach us something about how we should pray, and how God wants His relationship with us to function.

Let’s go through the Lord’s prayer verse by verse, starting in verse 9.

Matthew 6:9 NIV

“This, then, is how you should pray: “ ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,

It is here that Jesus calls us to slow down and think about who we’re talking to.  First and foremost, God is our Heavenly Father.  Throughout scripture we’re called Children of God.

2 Corinthians 6:18 ESV

and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.”

We are not talking to an impersonal being.  We are talking to God, our Heavenly Father, who not only loves us like a parent loves their child, but Romans 8:15 says

Romans 8:15 NIV

The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”

God adopted us.  He loves us so much that He choose to be in relationship with us.

Jesus continues in V9 that God is in Heaven.  Whereas God is our heavenly father, who loves us as His children, we need to remember that He is God.  He is limitless.  He is all knowing and all powerful.  He created everything with a word.

And because He is God, Jesus ends the first verse of His prayer reminding us to Hallow God’s name.  God is to be respected, revered, and honored for what He has done, is doing, and promises to do in the future.

When we pray, we pray to a personal God who loves us as His children, who is limitless, and who deserves our respect.

We need to acknowledge who God is when we pray.

Jesus continues in V10

Matthew 6:10 NIV

your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

It is here that Jesus calls us to align our wills to that of God.  God’s desire is to have His kingdom come to Earth.  That may sound odd if you’re new to the Bible, but the kingdom of God is anywhere where things are as God desires them to be.  1 Timothy 2:3-4 states

1 Timothy 2:3–4 NIV

This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.

God wants His kingdom to reign in the hearts of all people.  God wants our desires to line up with His desires.  He wants us to not only to personally live the Kingdom life, but invite others into it, and work to end anything that goes against God’s will.

When we pray, we are to pray for God’s will to be done, and pray against everything in this world that is against it.

Jesus continues in V11

Matthew 6:11 NIV

Give us today our daily bread.

Jesus is calling us to live a life fully dependent on God.  We weren’t created to be self-sufficient.  It is easy to get proud, think that everything you have is the result of your hard work, and nobody had a part in it other than you.

Romans 11:36 MSG

Everything comes from him; Everything happens through him; Everything ends up in him. Always glory! Always praise! Yes. Yes. Yes.

We need to recognize that we are completely dependent on the generosity of God who gives us the breath that keeps us alive, the talents we use to earn a living, and opportunities that we’ve had to use those talents.

When we pray, we need to ask for what we need, knowing that God is the true provider of everything.

Jesus continues in V12

Matthew 6:12 NIV

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

Jesus is calling us to constantly confess our sins.  The word Jesus used for forgiveness in Greek is aphiemi which means to let go or release

Forgive aphiemi to let go or release

Matthew 6:14-15 expands on this stating that God will forgive us in proportion to how we forgive others.

Jesus makes it clear.  God will release us from our sins in the same proportion as we release others who have sinned against us.  Put more simply, God will use the same criteria to judge us as we use to judge others.

When we pray, we need to not only confess our sins, but let go of the obligations owed to us by others who have sinned against us.

Jesus concludes His prayer in V13

13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.’

Jesus is calling us to seek help in resisting the temptation to sin by the devil.  This comes with the many promises of scripture that God will deliver us.

James 4:7 NIV

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

and

1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

When we accept Jesus as our savior, God sends the Holy Spirit to live within our hearts.  It is through the power of the Holy Spirit that we are given the grace to resist the temptations of this world.

When we pray, we need to seek the power of the Holy Spirit to empower us to resist the temptations of this world and give us strength as we go through the trials of this life.

YOU

As we look at these 5 categories Jesus teaches to pray about in the Lord’s Prayer.  How many of them are about us?

I count ONLY 1; V11 is where we ask God to provide for our needs.  The other 4 verses are about how we honor God, align our will with God’s will, forgive others, and seek the strength to live a life free of sin.

When you pray, what is your ratio of prayers about you vs prayers seeking God’s will and interceding for others?

If this prayer is Jesus’ blueprint for how we should pray, that means we should only be praying 20% of the time about ourselves.

God wants a relationship with us; He is not a vending machine we approach in prayer only when we want something.

WE / JESUS

Paul writes in

1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 NIV

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

I like to think of prayer as road trip with God.

I never took road trips growing up.  I think the longest my family ever drove was 4 hours to Cedar Point.  BUT… during COVID when we couldn’t fly my wife and I decided to road trip.  We drove 16 hours to South Dakota for a 50 mile trail race I naively signed up for.  And you know what, it was amazing.  We let my daughter pick the places of interest we stopped at along the way.  We saw Mount Rushmore, the Devil’s Tower, Crazy Horse, and we even panned for gold. In addition to the planned stops, we stopped at random places we saw based on billboards.  We stopped at the Corn Palace, the largest candy store in the country, Wall Drug, and loads of truck stops for meals listening to the intercom tell us which showers were open.  We even stopped and bought a cherry pie because a billboard said it would be the best we’ll ever eat (it was good, but not the best).  It was an adventure.  And as my wife and I planned some surprises for my daughter we didn’t tell her about, it was amazing to see how excited she got when we’d stop somewhere she wasn’t expecting.

It was so great that the next year, we drove 14 hours to Chattanooga for an IronMan I was talked into doing with a friend.  On that trip my daughter planned stops at the St Louis Arch, we rode a boat on an underground river in the Mammoth Caves, and went to the Louisville Slugger factory.  2 for 2.  Road trips are great.

I see our relationship with God as a lifelong road trip.  God’s driving.  We’re in the passenger seat, and we’re on an adventure.  Prayer to me is like the conversations you have during a road trip.  Most of the time you don’t say anything, just sitting together enjoying each other’s presence.  Sometimes you see something amazing and you just have to share the excitement you feel.  Sometimes you see something concerning and you have to have a conversation to work through what to do next.  Sometimes you sit there thinking about something difficult that you’ve been stewing on for a long time and have to bring it up and work through it.  Sometimes God surprises us with a detour and we get to enjoy the unexpected blessing together.

Jesus gives us a template to pray, but really He’s telling us how to have a relationship with God.

The blueprint Jesus gives us in the Lord’s Prayer is a call away from ritual and toward relationship.

What would your life be like if you followed Jesus’ blueprint and started praying all 5 categories of the Lord’s Prayer every day? What would this church be like if we all followed this blueprint?  What impact could we collectively have on the community if we intentionally sought the will of God, and continually prayed for each other, for the community, and for the power to resist the temptation to live outside of God’s will?

So as we go about your week let’s be people of prayer, following Jesus’ blueprint and praying continually for God’s Kingdom and will to be done here and now.

Let’s stop living a check box faith and start growing a deep relationship with God.

PRAYER

Will you join me in prayer?

God, thank you for the boldness of the disciples who not only desperately wanted the type of relationship with you that Jesus had, but were courageous enough to ask Jesus how to seek it.

Thank you for the blueprint that Jesus gives us.  Help open our eyes to the many opportunities that we have throughout the day to talk to you.  Help us slow down and acknowledge who You are.  Help us to align our will to yours and have a passion for bringing your will to earth now.  Help us to be bold in seeking our needs, but gratefully acknowledge that everything comes from you.  Help us to forgive others as graciously as You forgive us.  And help us to turn to you first for the power to resist temptations.

We don’t want a check box faith.  We want a deep and growing relationship with You.  Help each and every one of us to seek Your kingdom and Your will with everything we have.

We love you and we thank you.  And it is in the powerful name of Jesus that we pray. Amen

COMMUNION

Today we talked about how we’re not called to the ritual of religion, but to a relationship with God.  Jesus gave us a blueprint for prayer to help guide us in growing and deepening that relationship with God.

Another way to deepen a relationship with someone is to share a meal together.  And that is exactly what we get the honor of doing right now.  To remember all that Jesus has done for us, God gave us the sacrament of communion.  Communion is when we set aside time to examine how we are living our lives, repent of all the ways that we’re falling short, and seek forgiveness from God.  Through communion we’re remembering and thanking God for the sacrifice He made through the death of His son Jesus so that our sins could be forgiven and a relationship with Him could be possible.

1 Corinthians 11:23-26 reads:

1 Corinthians 11:23–26 NIV

For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, “This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.” For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.

Together Church is a Wesleyan Church.  We believe in what is called an “open table”.  You don’t have to be a member of Together Church to partake.  You don’t have to consider yourself Wesleyan to partake.  You do have to have accepted Jesus as your savior and be striving to live in right relation with God and with your neighbors.

As the band starts to play the last song, please take some time to pray.  Let’s put to practice what we’ve discussed today.  Take some time to honestly talk to God about where you’re at in your relationship with Him and how you desire for your relationship to grow.  When ready, please come forward to partake in the elements.

We have gluten free options to (RIGHT/LEFT) for those who require that option.

SONG

BENEDICTION

Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 NIV

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

As you go out this week pray continually, intentionally looking for ways to follow Jesus’ blueprint for prayer.  Start treating your faith as a relationship with God and not a set of rituals to follow.  Jump in the passenger seat, embark on a road trip with God, and enjoy every moment of the grand adventure He has in store for you. Let’s all allow God’s kingdom to reign in our hearts, let share it with the people you know, and with this community God has placed us in. Go in peace.

SMALL GROUP QUESTIONS

How is your faith life? Does it feel like a to-do list of things you do out of habit or obligation? Does it feel alive and vibrant, like one of your closest relationships? Through this template Jesus shows us we are to acknowledge who God is, pray that God’s will be done and not ours, pray for our needs, pray that we can forgive others as God has forgiven us, and pray for the power to resist temptations.  Of these five areas that Jesus directs us to pray, only one is for ourselves. How do you currently pray?

Do you pray for all five areas that Jesus directs us to pray for? What percentage of your prayers are for and about you? How can you adjust your prayer life this week to more closely align with the blueprint Jesus gives his disciples in the Lord’s prayer?