Relationships

Introduction

As we prepare to move the biggest apprehension, especially with the kids, is the relationships we’ll be leaving behind.

Whereas this is true of any move, and we’re absoutelly excited about coming down to KC, I really feel that relationships are something that everyone struggles with, especially as we enter the holiday season.

Being in business I follow a lot of popular business people. Tony Robins is one of them. He mainly focuses on wealth creation and investing, BUT one of his most known quotes is:

“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.”​ Tony Robbins

Even to a person who dedicated their entire life to earning money and helping others earn money, he knows that realtionships are more important.

It’s also true of how we meet our significant others. PBS did a study

1980 26% met through friends

1990 26% met through friends

2000 27% met through friends, but 5% online

2010 24% met through friends, but 20% online

2020 18% met through friends, but 60% online

2024 13% met through friends, but 61% online

Mainly starting during the pandemic, but continuing, even church has suffered a huge decline in relationships

Pre-Pandemic people came 2x per month

Right before pandemic people came 1x per month

Pandemic people watched live from home

Post pandemic people listed just like a podcast or don’t at all

Body

I think this is especially important as we get ready to enter the holiday season when it becomes painful for a lot of people who don’t have people to celebrate with.​

Today I want to comb the Bible and create a Biblical definition of relationships that I think we can use to guide how we view, approach, interact with people in today’s world.​

We were created for relationships

Genesis 2:18 NIV

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

The word helper is Ezer, which means equal partner / warrior / military helper

The helper God gave Adam was the Hebrew word “Ezer”​ Most often used in the Bible to describe God helping free the Israelites from oppression​ Help with a problem we can’t solve ourselves Psalm 70:5, “O God! You are my help and my deliverer”​

To reflect God’s love

1 John 4:11–12 NIV

Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

We’re not just meant to have a partner, there is a purpose for our relationships.

The word for love here is AGAPE which is an unconditional love.

Unconditional Love​

Never dependent on reciprocity​

Given freely to everyone​

Putting others needs before your own​

God showed us His love through the gift of forgiveness through the sacrifice of His son Jesus Christ on the cross.​

Jesus even demonstrated this by forgiving His executioners on the cross​

Do you treat everyone equally, independent of how they treat you?​

When people interact with you, do they experience God’s love?​

To other believers

Acts 2:44–46 NIV

All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts,

We’re not going to spend much time here as I think we’d all agree if we can’t model a healthy community among ourselves, we’re not setting the example to the rest of the world that we’re call to​

To our neighbors

Matthew 22:37–40 NIV

Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

I’m moving to Kansas in a month. I bought a house in one of the many housing association communities. Maybe you live in one as well.​

The last time I lived in a housing association community, it was a lot of intentional effort to get to know my neighbors. The old adage, “go home, close the garage door, and forget about the world” was depressingly true. ​

I hope that’s not true of our new neighborhood, but I would not be surprised if it is.​

How well do you know your neighbors? Your co-workers? Other parents on your kids sports teams?​

If we don’t even know them, we don’t even know how to start loving them.

To our enemies

Matthew 5:43–45 NIV

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

This is where life gets hard for me.​

Can I honestly say that I love my enemies; put their needs before my own?​

Can I honestly say that I pray for those who are actively persecuting me?​

On my best days, “yes”; but probably not every day.​

Lv. 19:18 and Ex. 23:4–5 and Pr. 25:21–22 ​

In these texts to love one’s enemy is to rise above (what is often the pettiness of) one’s own personal animosities in the interests of the community of the people of God. ​

One is to put community values ahead of individual hurts.​

This is hard, but How are you doing loving and praying for your enemies?

And to all nations

Matthew 28:16–20 NIV

Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

There is so much happening around the world​

War in Ukraine​

War between Israel and Palestine​

700,000,000 people without access to clean water and 1,000 children dying every day due to dirty water​

…​

With the news constantly barraging us with terrible news, it is easy for it to become noise.​

Do you think about people outside of our community?​

Do you pray for them?​

So everyone may know the love of Christ

Ephesians 3:16–17 NIV

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,

If we’re honest, how much do we really care for the unsaved?​

If we were to survey our social circles, do we regularly spend time with those who are unsaved?​

Or are our friend groups comprised almost exclusively of fellow believers?​

Who is God calling you to reach out to and start a relationship with?​

Who does the Holy Spirit want to work through you to show God love and saving grace this holiday season?​

Conclusion

Biblical Definition for Relationships

We were created for relationships (Genesis 2:18)​

to reflect God’s love (1 John 4:11-12) ​

to other believers (Acts 2:44-46)​

to our neighbors (Matthew 22:37-40)​

to our enemies (Matthew 5:43-45)​

and to all nations (Matthew 28:16-20) ​

so everyone may know the love of Christ ​

(Ephesians 3:16-17)​

Questions to Consider

How are you currently reflecting God’s love to each of these groups of people (believers, neighbors, enemies, nations)?​

Who are you currently praying for? Who is the Holy Spirit prompting you to start praying for?​

Who is the Holy Spirit calling you to reach out to this holiday season to start a relationship with?​

How often do you share the good news of the Jesus with your non-believing friends? Have you invited them to a church event? To a Sunday service?​