What God Has Joined Together

Communion:

Ephesians 5:23–33 NKJV

23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

1 Corinthians 11:23–32 NKJV

23 For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you: that the Lord Jesus on the same night in which He was betrayed took bread; 24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” 25 In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.” 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death till He comes. 27 Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. 28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body. 30 For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep. 31 For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged. 32 But when we are judged, we are chastened by the Lord, that we may not be condemned with the world.

[Bread]

[Cup]

Introduction:

Mawage is wot bwings us togeder today. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam. And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva. So tweasure your wuv.

Marriage and divorce have always been a burning question within our society. It has been, for most of our nations history, extremely controversial and this is because our nations was founded on Christian principles and teachings. Opinions vary and interpretations differ.

There is alway the closed view of divorce that says divorce is never allowed by God no matter the cruelty and meanness that may exist within the marriage. And there is always the more open view that says divorce is allowed if the rift between a couple is not reconciled and causes more damage than good.

The closed view says Jesus gave a complete exposition on marriage and divorce; the open view says He gave guidelines. The closed view sometimes treats divorce in such a spirit that it appears to be the unpardonable sin (which it isn’t). The open view treats it in such a spirit that it appears to be the escape route to do as one like (ranging from minor selfish ends to licentious pleasure).

In Jesus’ day there were two main schools of though: the Shammai School (conservative) and the Hillel School (liberal).

Matthew-II: Chapters 16:13–28:20 (King James Version) A. The Sanctity of Marriage, 19:1–12

DEEPER STUDY # 1

(19:1–12) Marriage—Divorce—Shammai—Hillel: the Pharisees came to Jesus tempting Him and saying, “Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?”

There is a background to this question. The society of Jesus’ day was very lax in its morals. Marriage was considered nothing more than a piece of paper: if it worked, fine; if it did not work, fine. One could always divorce (see note—Mt. 5:31).

There were two positions or schools of thought on divorce. Moses had said that any man could divorce his wife if “she find no favor in his eyes, because he has found some uncleanness in her” (De. 24:1).

1. The school of Shammai said that the words some uncleanness meant adultery only. A wife could be as loose and mean as Jezebel, but she was not to be divorced unless she committed adultery.

2. The school of Hillel said that the words some uncleanness meant anything that was not pleasing to the man. One should remember that women were counted as nothing but property to be possessed by men. They had no rights whatsoever except as a man might wish to give. Of course, this was the position followed by society, for it was the position that allowed human nature to run loose. Women were abused: used and discarded, neglected and violated. They were nothing but chattel property of men and were often considered of less value than property, whether animals or things. Therefore, divorce ran rampant in Christ’s day.

The Pharisees wished to embroil Jesus in the controversy between the conservative (Shammai) and liberal view (Hillel). They were simply asking Jesus if He agreed with the school of Hillel: “Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?” (v.3). No matter which position He took, He would offend and stir up a large number of people, becoming embroiled in a mean controversy.

Because of these strong feelings, the religionist (Pharisees) thought they could entrap and discredit Jesus. No matter what He said, a great number of people would differ, and they would stop supporting His ministry. Jesus would then be discredited and His ministry destroyed.

I mean think about it, it is a very cleaver way to pit Jesus’ opinion against the people. There is always a reluctance to express a different opinion when a great many people hold a particular position. For example: slavery, prejudice, smoking, overeating, drinking, gambling, playing cards, movies, tv, and our topic this morning divorce.

It is wrong not to face the issues of marriage and divorce, no matter the different opinions or practices within our society. Why you might ask?

There are always a large number of divorced people. Many of these desperately need help. Their faith, hope, security, children—their whole lives have been drastically affected. If God’s people do not open their hearts to them, then a great opportunity to reach them and help them grow in Christ is missed.

There are alway a large number of marriages (perhaps most) experiencing some serious difficulty. Hardness and cruelty, ranging from mild withdrawal to physical abuse, just tear and tear away at the marriage commitment. Sometimes it is the fault of one; sometimes it is the fault of both. In either case, great need exists.

This might be my longest introduction yet, but we need to clear the air of any sort of misunderstandings. I do not hold to a closed or and open view of marriage and I do not believe either of the two options are what Christ is truly getting at in our text this morning.

No divorce is not the unpardonable sin. Is it sin to divorce someone with out ground (that we will get to latter in our study)? Yes.

1 John 1:9 NKJV

9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Romans 6:1–2 NKJV

1 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? 2 Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?

Family, I have some very strong views pertaining this topic. It is important for you all to understand, that I love you so much, I want to walk with you through trials and tribulations and hardships, but please understand that I will not compromise on my biblical convictions to make you feel good. I fear God too much to scuttle around what His Word says on this topic. You too should fear God as the Bible puts it:

Matthew 10:28 NKJV

28 And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

vv. 1–2) The test:

[1] We are now on Jesus’ final journey to Jerusalem, He left the place of Capernaum in Galilee (9:33), and went into Judea west of the Jordan River and then across the Jordan into Perea on the east side. Because of His popularity in these areas Jesus drew crowds of people around Him again as was His custom.

This trip towards Jerusalem is going to cover a span of about 6 months, Mark recorded only some of the closing events. As a pastor there is no much more satisfying and rewarding than emulating Christ here, and teaching people what God’s Word states and to encourage believers to live out their faith and to accomplish God’s plan for their lives.

[2] So here we have a group of Pharisees questioning Jesus about divorce in order to test Jesus. They wanted Him to give a self-incriminating answer to arouse oppositions against Him. Perhaps Jesus would contradict:

Deuteronomy 24:1–4 NKJV

1 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, 2 when she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another man’s wife, 3 if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife, 4 then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.

It is important to note: All pharisees agreed this OT passage permitted divorce, only the husband could initiate it, and that divorce implied the right to remarry. But they disagreed on the grounds of divorce. Remember the two schools of thought, perhaps Jesus would take sides in this dispute and thereby split the ranks of His followers. OR perhaps He would offend Herod Antipas as John the Baptist had done, and be arrested and killed. By the way Herod had married his brothers wife, who was also his half-niece… Disgusting!

The real point of the Pharisees’ question is made clearer by Matthews account:

Matthew 19:3 NKJV

3 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?”

If the question is, “is it lawful?” then lawful is understood by for just any reason. The debate centers around the Mosaic law that gave permission for divorce.

Deuteronomy 24:1 NKJV

1 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house,

Shammai understood uncleaness as, sexual immorality is the only valid reason for divorce. Hillel understood uncleanness to mean any sort of discretion, even to the point of burning the breakfast being valid grounds for divorce.

William Barclay described the teaching of Hillel as, “They said that it could mean if the wife spoiled a dish of food, if she spun in the streets, if she talked to a strange man, if she spoke disrespectfully of her husband’s relations in his hearing, if she was a brawling woman (who was defined as a woman whose voice could be heard in the next house). Another Rabbi even went the length of saying it meant if a man found a woman who was fairer in his eyes than his wife was.”

Testing Him: These Pharisees tried to get Jesus to speak against Moses or against popular thought; hoping to catch Him in a trap.

vv. 3–9) God’s plan for marriage:

[3–4] “What did Moses command you?” Jesus here is emphasizing the heart of the matter of the Deut 24:1 passage. Moses did not command divorce; Moses permitted it. This went against the teaching of Rabbi Hillel.

[5] The Mosaic law granting divorce was a concession to the hardness of your heart. It was never commanded by God but permitted because of the hardness of the offending party (being unable to perfectly forgive and restore the damaged relationship.

The law of Deut 24:1 was really given as a protection to the divorced wife.

“Moses permitted divorce providing a certificate of divorce was given to the wife…Its primary function was to provide a degree of protection for the woman who had been repudiated by her husband.”

Jesus saw divorce as a harness of heart. The OT did not command divorce, only permitted it.

Note these four things:

The ancient world treated women as nothing more than property.

OT law was not a loose law, not in the ancient world. It required a written contract of divorce, which was unpracticed and unheard of in most societies.

A written contract of divorce:

Could check the breakdown of the family to some degree.

Would give time for the man to think about the consequences of divorce.

It proclaimed that there was a higher law than a man’s own whims, urges, and desires.

Divorce was seen by Jesus, and therefore us also, as hardness of heart.

Divorce was a concession, not the will of God.

Divorce was allowed only because man’s heart was hard and sinful.

Divorce was never willed and was not the purpose of God.

[6] Jesus now transitioned from a talk about divorce to a talk about marriage. The problem was not that they didn’t understand the law. The problem was they did not understand what God said about marriage.

This emphasis on marriage rather than divorce is a wise approach for anyone interesting in keeping a marriage together. Divorce cannot be seen as an option when things are hard. Marriage is like a mirror; it reflects what we put into it. If someone has divorced readily in his or her mind as a convenient option, divorce will be much more likely.

It is a rather striking parallel that Jesus took us back to the beginning to learn about marriage. Today many what to say, “we live in different times” or “The rules are different today” or “We need a modern understanding.”

Yet Jesus knew that the answers were in going back to the beginning.

God’s real purpose for marriage is not fulfilled in divorce but only in seeing God’s original plan for marriage. Jesus says, “God made them,” Jesus asserts God’s ownership over marriage; it is God’s institution, not man’s, meaning His rules apply.

Also just so we are clear, there are only two genders, male and female.

[7–8] By bring this issue back to the foundation of marriage, Jesus made it plain couples must forsake their singleness and come together in one flesh relationships that is both a fact and a goal.

The term joined to his wife has the idea of gluing two things together.

The term Jesus uses for joined together is literally yoked together. Like two animals yoked together, couples must work together and head in the same way to really be joined the way God wants them to be joined.

Here there is a new and overriding unity. The bond between a husband and wife should be even stronger than the bond between parent and child.

The marriage bond should be stronger than the blood-bond.

This idea of the two shall be one:

“not only means they should be considered as one body, but also as two souls in one body, with a complete union of interests, and indissoluble partnership of life and fortune., comfort and support, desires and inclinations, joys and sorrows.”—Clarke

[9] Next, Jesus reminds the Pharisees marriage is spiritually binding before God. Marriage is not merely a social contract, and as God has joined He will keep together.

In using terms joined together and separate, Jesus is making a crucial point, that divorce is really like amputation, and not a mere separation.

I will say, sometimes in the most extreme circumstances, amputation may be the right thing to do. But the patient must first have a diagnosis worthy of such an extreme solution.

vv. 10–12) Jesus clarifies the point:

[10] Family this is not a one-verse teaching of all there is to know about this topic of divorce and remarriage. Jesus clearly followed up HIs remarks made earlier in the chapter, where He indicated that God did permit (not command) divorce in the case of sexual immorality. Here it seems, Jesus answered the question, “Then what about a divorce gained on other grounds?”

[11] We can only understand this passage by taking into account the whole counsel of God:

Acts 20:27 NKJV

27 For I have not shunned to declare to you the whole counsel of God.

Matthew’s more complete recording of this teaching, he noted:

Matthew 19:9 NKJV

9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

With this answer, Jesus interpreted the meaning of the word uncleanness in Deut 24:1, showing divorce (and the freedom to remarry) was only permitted in the case of sexual immorality.

The Greek word for sexual immorality is porneia. It is a broad word and it covers a wide span of sexual impropriety. One may be guilty of porneia without actually having consummated an act of adultery.

To this permission for divorce, Paul added the case of abandonment by an unbelieving spouse:

1 Corinthians 7:15 NKJV

15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.

Family, incompatibility, not loving each other anymore, brutality, and misery are not grounds for divorce, though they may be proper grounds for a separation and consequent celibacy within marriage.

But that isn’t fair! You are right! it also wasn’t fair for Christ to die on the cross for our sins.

The reason why a person who does not have a legitimate divorce commits adultery upon remarrying (as well as their new spouse) is because they are not divorced in the eyes of God. Since their old marriage is still valid, they are actually guilty of bigamy and adultery.

We must come to grips with the fact marriage, as a promise made to God, our spouse and the world, is a binding promise, and cannot be broken at our own discretion. There are certain cases where God allows the promise to be dissolved, but it is up to God and not us.

[12] This statement of Jesus shows why it is important to take the whole counsel of God on any given topic. If this were the only passage on divorce and remarriage in the Bible, then we should say that if anyone divorces for any reason, they then have commited adultery and therefore God never permits remarriage in the case of divorce. But taking the whole counsel of God into account, it is impossible to say this.

There are some who neglect the counsel of God and say God never allows remarriage after divorce. But when we explore what the Bible says on the subject, we see if a divorce is made on Biblical grounds there is a full right to remarry.

If a divorce is not based on biblical grounds—the kind of divorce Jesus is referring to here—then there is no right to remarry. Because as far as God is concerned, the marriage is still together, and to marry another would be adultery.

Family this means that as God looks down from heaven, He doesn’t have three categories: single, married, and divorced. There are only two: single and married. You are either bound under a marriage vow or you are not. if you are bound, you cannot marry another. If you are not bound, you are free to marry in the Lord. Understand the whole counsel of God on this subject frees people from the stigma of “divorced” in church.

Let Nothing Separate:

By determining what issues are worthy of divorce, many people attempt to discover a way out of their marriage.

Due to the stubborn nature of mankind, God provided a civil manner through divorce to protect families from more severe calamities.

Jesus defined marriage as a covenant that is heterosexual, monogamous, and lifelong.

Let Scripture Clarify:

God views trivial reasons that lead to divorce and remarriage as adulterous, sinful decisions.

While divorce was permitted in the Bible, it was never promoted in the Bible.

Scripture permits divorce for two reasons:

Adultery from an unfaithful spouse (Matt 19:9).

Abandonment from an unbelieving spouse (1 Cor 7:15).

Scripture permits remarriage after an acceptable divorce or a spousal death (1 Cor 7:39).

Let Grace Cover:

Don’t commit more sin out of guilt for previous sin.

Divorce never completely rids you of an unwanted spouse.

Illegitimate divorce is not the unforgivable sin but it is a consequential one.

No matter the reason, God always hates divorce (Mal 2:16) due to what it does the person, the family, and the society.

The only people who live in a state of sin are those who are continually and defiantly disobedient.

If you feel endangered in your marriage, leave the premises without necessarily the person.

While divorce may seem unavoidable in some cases, never discount the power of grace.