The Christian Family (Part Two)

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-Last week, we began...

…a New Testament survey (Similar to the Old)...

…of the Bible’s descriptions of...

…and instructions for...

“The Christian Family” (qualify)

So, we’ll review some of what we covered last week...

…and then, Lord-willing, finish the rest tonight.

But first, let’s pray.

Pray

-We had begun last week...

…with this important reminder:

God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation (First-Century Palestine and Jesus’ Example)

In Jesus’ day, the extended family lived together (e.g., Mark 1:30)...

That’s important context to keep in mind.

And so was this:

God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation (The Ancient Household and “Household Codes”)

In order to arrive at a deeper understanding of the New Testament teaching on the various roles and responsibilities of the respective members of a family, it will be instructive to look briefly at the ancient household and the genre of the “household code.”

Unlike the modern household, ancient households included not only a married couple and children but also other dependents, such as slaves, with the head of the household in a position of authority to which wife, children, and slaves were to submit.

We saw that structure, in places in places like:

Ephesians 5:22 ESV

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:25 ESV

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

Ephesians 6:1 ESV

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

Ephesians 6:4 ESV

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:5 ESV

5 Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ,

Ephesians 6:9 ESV

9 Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.

The same framework is in Colossians 3, Titus 2, etc.

And we had concluded with this principle:

God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation (The Ancient Household and “Household Codes”)

The underlying assumption of this code is that order in the household will promote order on a larger societal scale as well.

Believers’ conformance to the ethical standards of such a code would render Christianity respectable in the surrounding culture (1 Tim. 3:7; 6:1; Titus 2:5, 8, 10; 3:8; 1 Pet. 2:12) and aid in the church’s evangelistic mission (1 Thess. 4:12).

For Example:

1 Peter 2:12 (ESV)

12 Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.

-This is where we left off:

Children (Additional Texts)

Notice the propriety assumed in statements like:

1 Timothy 3:4 (ESV)

4 He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive,

Titus 1:6 (ESV)

6 if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination.

Also, consider this:

God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation (Children in Paul’s Teaching)

In the New Testament, disobedience to parents is viewed as a phenomenon characteristic of the end times . . . that would draw divine judgment...

2 Timothy 3:1–5 (ESV)

1 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty.

2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy...

4 ...lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,

5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.

1 Timothy 1:8–10 (ESV)

8 Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully,

9 understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers,

10 the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine,

Romans 1:28–31 (ESV)

28 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done.

29 They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips,

30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents,

31 foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless.

Does the NT take it just as seriously as the Old?

-Adult Children:

God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation (Children in Paul’s Teaching)

However, while children’s responsibilities toward their parents change once they establish their own family, they do not therefore cease.

In a later letter, Paul notes that children’s responsibility to honor their parents also entails caring for them in their old age (1 Tim. 5:8), which is viewed as proper repayment for having been reared by them (1 Tim. 5:4).

1 Timothy 5:8 (ESV)

8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

1 Timothy 5:4 (ESV)

4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.

-Fathers

God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation (Fathers and the Importance of Fatherhood in Paul’s Teaching)

In Ephesians 6:4, Paul writes, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

The Colossian parallel reads, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (Col. 3:21).

While children ought to obey both parents (Eph. 6:1; Col. 3:20), fathers bear special responsibility for disciplining their children and are specifically singled out by Paul in the present passage.

But:

God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation (Fathers and the Importance of Fatherhood in Paul’s Teaching)

It is important that fathers not provoke their children to anger (cf. Eph. 4:26–27, 31). If anger is prolonged, Satan will seek to exploit the familial discord to further his own ends.

Fathers are therefore to avoid any attitudes, words, or actions that have the effect of provoking anger in their children,

including “excessively severe discipline, unreasonably harsh demands, abuse of authority, arbitrariness, unfairness, constant nagging and condemnation, subjecting a child to humiliation, and all forms of gross insensitivity to a child’s needs and sensibilities.

He goes on to say:

God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation (Fathers and the Importance of Fatherhood in Paul’s Teaching)

...we observe that fathers’ primary role is to provide for their children and to ensure proper nurture and discipline. This involves formal as well as informal education and entails the exercise of various forms of discipline, including physical discipline...

OT:

Proverbs 13:24 (ESV)

24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

NT:

Hebrews 12:6 (ESV)

6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”

Hebrews 12:7–11 (ESV)

7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?

8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.

9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live?

10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.

11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Kostenberger, again says this:

God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation (Fathers and the Importance of Fatherhood in Paul’s Teaching)

...fathers (and mothers) must strike a balance between proper discipline and loving nurture and support.

Neither the “encouraging parent” who neglects to discipline his child nor the strict disciplinarian fulfills the biblical ideal of parenting.

Paul sought to strike just such a balance when he wrote to the Thessalonian believers that he and his associates had sought to be “gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children” (1 Thess. 2:7 NIV),

dealing “with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God” (1 Thess. 2:11–12 NIV).

-Mothers:

God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation (Mothers and the Importance of Motherhood in Paul’s Teaching)

The apostle Paul taught that one of the primary roles of women is that of “childbearing,”

that is, not only the act of giving birth but their domestic role related to the upbringing of children and managing of the home (1 Tim. 2:15; cf. 5:14).

1 Timothy 5:14 (ESV)

14 So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.

He doesn’t say “get a job”

God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation (Mothers and the Importance of Motherhood in Paul’s Teaching)

Thus, motherhood is not disparaged in biblical teaching; contrary to many in modern society, it is held up as the woman’s highest calling and privilege.

In fact, in his first letter to Timothy, the apostle intimates that, for women, straying from the home is yielding to the Devil’s temptation in a similar way to Eve overstepping her bounds at the original fall (1 Tim. 2:14–15).

That’s an interesting perspective on this:

1 Timothy 2:11–15 (ESV)

11 Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness.

12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.

13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve;

14 and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.

15 Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.

God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation (Mothers and the Importance of Motherhood in Paul’s Teaching)

This exposes the unbiblical nature of a feminism that promotes gender equality understood as sameness and encourages women to forsake their calling in the home for the sake of finding self-fulfillment in a career outside the home.

In fact, 1 Timothy 2:15 speaks a powerful message to our culture “where many are seeking to ‘liberate’ women from all encumbrances of family responsibilities in order to unleash them on a quest for self-fulfillment apart from such functions.”

To the contrary, “it is precisely by participating in her role pertaining to the family that women fulfill their central calling.”

This is not a matter of seeking to restrict women to the home, but of determining the essence of women’s calling from God and of encouraging them to live it out.

This will result not only in greater blessing and fulfillment for women themselves but also for their husbands and families, and it will bring honor to the God who created us male and female.

-Finally, one more text on:

Husbands and Wives

1 Peter 3:1–5 (ESV)

1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,

2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—

4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,

1 Peter 3:6–7 (ESV)

6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Corinthians 6:19–20 (ESV)

19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,

20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.