Upside-down Kingdom: Anyone Who Looks . . .

To start, let’s agree that the human body is beautiful, complex, and fascinating. Bodies are beautiful at all ages and stages:

newborns with soft skin, fine hair, and tiny fingernails

Athletes with powerful muscles and graceful movements – did you marvel at the way Olympic athletes ran, jumped, or tossed a hammer?

Admire seniors with silver hair, wisdom etched on their face

How did that old song go?

They say we are aged and gray, Maggie,

As spray by the white breakers flung;

But to me you're as fair as you were, Maggie,

When you and I were young.

Different ages and stages, but people are beautiful, complex, and fascinating.

In the 1st chapter of the OT, we read how God created people:

God created mankind in his own image,

in the image of God he created them;

male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 (NIV)

Once people were created, God stepped back and looked at all he had made and declared that it was all very good.

When I start pre-marriage classes, I ask couples if marriage began before humankind’s fall into sin or after. Do you know?

Marriage came before the fall into sin.

The description of marriage and our first parents’ relationship is beautiful. God saw Adam alone and without a helper to be his spouse. God said it was not good and decided to make a helper suitable for him. The Hebrew word “ezer” is translated as “helper” but don’t think of a student on a construction crew, fetching coffee and doing the nasty jobs.

The word “ezer” refers to a helper like a mighty support. The friend you want beside you in battle. It is applied to the Lord frequently in the OT. God is a mighty helper for his people. That’s what the name Eliezer means: “my God is my help”.

Gen. 2 records how God made an “ezer” suitable for Adam.

The Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. Genesis 2:21–22 (NIV)

Adam woke from surgery. He saw Eve and said, “Woo-man!”

“This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;

she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:23–25 (NIV)

Male-female relationships were designed by God before sin damaged relationships. Marriage, with its responsibilities and privileges began before creation was tarnished with disobedience and sin. Marriage is a good thing in God’s creation.

Here's the problem, though. After Adam & Eve rebelled against God, every part of creation, every relationship was knocked off-kilter by sin. The fall disrupted everything, incl. marriage, sexuality, and the way we perceived other people.

Sin makes relationships awkward. It’s hard even to talk about God’s expectations and instructions for relationships because nobody is without sin. Not me. What about you?

Guilt, shame, and failure are part of the conversation when we think and talk about sexuality.

When Jesus speaks to his disciples about the commandment, “you shall not commit adultery,” he’s referring to #7 of the 10 Commandments. Religious people, including Christians, haven’t always done a good job teaching, talking about, or responding to this commandment. One reason it’s so difficult to talk about sexuality well is that the standards of the Kingdom of God are very different from the standards of the world.

The whole world: every culture, every time-period, and every nation has struggled with the powerful and beautiful, physical and relational realities of physical attraction and sexuality. Every person is hardwired with attractions and reactions to the sight, smell, and touch of other people. It’s at our core. I suspect human physicality and sexuality inspires more songs, stories, pictures and anxiety than anything else in the world.

What is the standard for righteousness in the Kingdom of God?

In the HC, generations of Christians have unpacked the 7th commandment this way:

God condemns all unchastity,

and that therefore we should thoroughly detest it

and live decent and chaste lives,

within or outside of the holy state of marriage. Q&A 108

We have a broad definition to adultery, because when Jesus teaches about the 7th commandment, he views it broadly too.

I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:28 (NIV)

That’s not just actions; Jesus is talking about imagination, fantasies, and any time we take a tempting thought and make it our own thought.

In 2021, the Christian Reformed Church published a report on Human Sexuality. With delegates from across the continent in our denomination, we discussed the 7th commandment. What does God mean when he says, “do not commit adultery”?

For the past 3 years, our Synod affirmed:

Pornography, polyamory, and all forms of premarital and extramarital sex as well as homosexual sex are encompassed in the catechism’s condemnation of unchastity. (HSR Summary, 11)

In our culture, it’s not a popular conclusion. Yet Jesus taught that it is not enough to avoid the physical act of adultery. Adultery begins in our thoughts and imagination long before acting out our temptation. That’s uncomfortable.

When does innocent admiration cross the line into a lustful look? It’s not just a question for teens or dirty old men. Each person wrestles with temptation in their thoughts.

Our culture flirts with the line between admiration and lust all the time in movies and literature – especially in advertising. You almost never see a commercial for cars or alcohol that doesn’t feature a beautiful, slightly seductive person.

Generally speaking, North American culture takes pride in throwing off the rules and definitions of chastity and sexual purity based on God’s instructions in the Bible. Each year, the month of June is devoted to legitimizing and celebrating a wide buffet of sexual expressions. Some people are working hard to shape the morals and standards of our culture in ways that are not consistent with Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 5.

In fact, Jesus’ teaching on marriage and sexual purity looks completely upside-down compared to the way all kinds of sexual behaviours are affirmed in western society. It’s disorienting.

Culture shock hits hard if you’re relatively new to taking God’s standards for righteousness and purity seriously; if you’re relatively new to the Kingdom of God. I guess culture shock shouldn’t surprise us as we pledge allegiance to Jesus as Saviour and Lord and become citizens of the Kingdom of God.

The OT prophet Isaiah reminds his audience that Godly thinking is different than human thinking:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways,”

declares the Lord.

“As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8–9 (NIV)

It’s an invitation to humility before the Lord, recognizing that our Creator has a better idea of what’s good for us that we do.

For the record, Christians are called to treat everybody with respect and kindness regardless of their allegiance. There is no room in the kingdom of God for bullying, rudeness, or demeaning behaviours. Burning rainbow flags and defacing rainbow crosswalks are also sinful behaviours.

All people are welcome in the kingdom of God, regardless of their behaviour. Admitting our sin, including unchastity, is the basis for a renewed relationship with God. All Christians admit that we fall short of God’s standards for holiness and righteousness, not just regarding sexuality, but in all of life.

There’s no room for anyone to “cast the first stone.” I’m under God’s judgement on sin, just like everyone. And before God all sin is sin. Every misdeed disqualifies us for the kingdom of God. There’s no room for pride in Jesus’ Kingdom.

The gospel is God’s gift for sinful humankind. One writer in the NT describes God’s amazing grace this way:

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:6–8

Jesus died for us because he loves us; his pure love for each person. The Lord does not want anyone to perish. He longs for each person to be reconciled with him as Creator and Lord.

That’s why Jesus entered his creation and became human like you and me and everyone else. He endured all the temptations that you do. I mean, do you honestly think the kids in Nazareth didn’t play “doctor” and the teens didn’t flirt in Jesus’ day?

Jesus faced all human temptations but did not sin. Instead, he offered himself as a sacrifice to atone for human sin. Jesus died on the cross in your place so that you can be purified from sin and reconciled with your loving, heavenly Father. All your guilt and shame have been lifted off of you and placed on Jesus at the cross. You have been rescued from sin and death so that you can enjoy life as a citizen of the Kingdom of God.

You are invited to put your faith and hope in Jesus to make you pure and holy. By faith in Jesus, you’re a dearly loved child of God’s. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. God is enthroned in your heart, leading, guiding, & making you holy.

The authors of the HC paint an exciting picture of our new identity in Jesus Christ:

We are temples of the Holy Spirit, body and soul,

and God wants both to be kept clean and holy.

That is why God forbids

all unchaste actions, looks, talk, thoughts, or desires,

and whatever may incite someone to them. Q&A 109

We’re not left to do this alone. The Holy Spirit helps us resist temptation and live as his people – pure, holy, and dearly loved. He Holy Spirit helps us live as citizens and ambassadors of the Kingdom of God – a kingdom that looks upside-down by the standards of our world and our culture. Are you up for it?