Connecting Your Children To Others

No Table Talk this week. Trying to make more room at the end of class to discuss what we have just heard.

Philippians 3:17 ESV

17 Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us.

“Those walking together with us as parents had made such an impression on her that she saw them worthy of imitation and emulation.

I wonder who may be those people in our lives where we wanted to emulate for those of us who grew up in a church setting.

Is there somebody like that? Who you thought so highly of and wanted to be like growing up?

The Need For Other Examples

Within the church I think there have been two sides of this understanding of needing other examples in the lives of our children.

One one hand, you have the parents who go so far to the side of wanting others input into the lives of their children to where they totally forsake the responsibility in their own lives as the main Disciple Maker. (Not biblical)

On the other hand, you have families who go to the other extreme of not wanting any other input. They isolate themselves and their families. They want to be the only influence in their children’s lives. (Pride/Self-righteousness. )

There is this in between of these two camps where the parent understands that the sole responsibility of discipleship rest on us parents, BUT then we also understand that I cannot do this alone.

My child needs other examples than just their father and or mother. They need these other aunts and uncles and grandparents in the faith to come alongside them, to reinforce what has been said at the home. To model and reflect what the parents already been reflecting from Jesus.

DISCIPLE-MAKING PARENTS ACTIVELY CONNECT THEIR CHILDREN TO OTHER GODLY EXAMPLES.

The Apostle Paul / Thank you Friends!

We see this example of having mentors in a persons life throughout the scriptures.

In Timothy’s life…

We are unsure who else influenced him in Lystra and Derbe, but we do know that the Apostle Paul became this “father in the faith” to Timothy.

2 Timothy 3:10–11 ESV

10 You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, 11 my persecutions and sufferings that happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, and at Lystra—which persecutions I endured; yet from them all the Lord rescued me.

There was this intimate knowledge that Timothy had of Paul.

Paul had opened up his life, his belief in Christ, his lifestyle and his heart to Timothy.

Other discipleship examples in scripture to consider…

Jesus and His Disciples (More specifically Peter).

Jethro and Moses

Eli and Samuel

Mordecai and Esther

Elijah and Elisha

Elizebeth and Mary

Priscilla and Aquilla mentored Apollos

We see this as a normal.

Within church culture over the last however many years… it’s been the practice to have 5 students to one adult within church context discipleship.

Kara Powell in her book Sticky Faith, suggest a parent ought to seek out five mentors for each young person! (Not too ambitious when implemented informally)

Get into the habit of hospitality

Host Home Group:

In this your child will spend a lot of time with other aunts and uncles in the faith. This creates space for children to spend time with other adults. Allows them to see other adults parent as well. (imperfectly - BUT in a Gospel way)

Capture time on Sunday’s:

Pastor Nathan really enjoys having children in our worship service. We have both of our 8 year old and 5 year old in the service with us.

I loved an idea Bettis has in the book, for your child to draw a picture during the service and then go give that picture to an elder after the service.

Push yourselves to get out of your comfort zone and go speak to some of the older saints in the worship center. Allow your children to be a part of these conversations.

He also suggest asking our older children to take the initiative before spending time with their friends to go and greet a few older adults. Sometimes will grow into deeper conversations. These don’t have to be super deep to impact a young person.

I remember several men like this from when I was in church. Several men that I gleamed something from as I was a youth. (Tommy Ross, Papa Seals, Mr Castleberry, Dean Conley, Scott Turner, Doug Million, Stevo Lorenz.) These were to me… other fathers/uncles in the faith. And many of whom men I could still call today if I needed to.

Praise Your Friends In Private.

Praise our friends in private for things we want them to admire.

Help our children see the evidences of grace in our friends lives.

If a Sunday School Leader, youth or children leader investing in your children’s life. Be sure to praise them in private.

Single moms: pray for mentors for your children.

Pray and encourage your children to connect with other (men or women) in the church whom you trust. Ask if they would be willing to pray for or even mentor your child on top of what you are doing in the home.

Believing men/women: whom can you adopt? (Especially men)

There are plenty of orphans who need to be adopted.

All men, young and old can have this kind of ministry.

ALL OF US need to ask how we can build others into our children’s lives. God has placed men and women into the body of Christ to contribute to your child as he or she grows older. Your children (AND YOU) need other role models.

Why Hypocrites and the Church Conflicts

Sin ruins everything.

How do we talk to our children about the problems that will arise within the church.

When it because obvious that we are in the midst of a church full of sinners… How do we approach this with our children?

This is an opportunity for our children to be encouraged in their faith, or this is an opportunity for their faith to be shipwrecked.

How do we navigate this as parents?

Suggestions For Handling Hypocrisy

We must be aware that our children will come across some negative examples as we are trying to get them around Godly adults in their lives. This is the reality of this pursuit.

We must not allow this to deter us.

We must not allow this to push us into the unhealthy extreme of creating a silo effect with our family.

But we ought to be aware of this and be ready to shepherd their hearts proactively through conflict.

Don’t shy away from it. Take it straight on (Adrian and I have so far had success with this)

Here are some biblical strategies for handling hypocrisy in others….

We can start by reminding our children that Jesus predicted hypocrisy and worldliness in his church.

Jesus predicted that there would be weeds in the field and some would profess for a while and then fall away. Matthew 13:1–30

“1 That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the sea. 2 And great crowds gathered about him, so that he got into a boat and sat down. And the whole crowd stood on the beach. 3 And he told them many things in parables, saying: “A sower went out to sow. 4 And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them. 5 Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, 6 but when the sun rose they were scorched. And since they had no root, they withered away. 7 Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. 8 Other seeds fell on good soil and produced grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. 9 He who has ears, let him hear.” 10 Then the disciples came and said to him, “Why do you speak to them in parables?” 11 And he answered them, “To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been give…”

Early church experienced much conflict (Acts. 15)

There was sin in the church that was so shameful it was not even tolerated among unbelievers (1 Cor. 5:1).

BUT, the messiness of sin in the church does not change the objective truth of our faith.

The Kingdom of God has not yet come in it’s fulness. We must preach to our children this already but not yet understanding of the kingdom of God and the salvation we have been given.

Beloved, the true church is now in the forming, and is therefore not visible. There are many churches; but as to the one church of Christ, we see it neither here nor there. We speak of the visible church; but the term is not correct. The thing which we see is a mixture of believers and mere pretenders to faith. -Spurgeon

The church is like Noah’s Ark. It can be messy and smelly on the inside, but it is sure better than being on the outside! - Chap Bettis

2. We can agree with our children that these things are wrong.

We can agree with them. Allow them to understand that you too see the wrong and the sin in a situation.

Allow them to see your sorrow to sin in others.

3. We can teach about the power of indwelling sin and the final judgment to sort everything out.

We can remind our children of several things:

Indwelling sin is pervasive in everyone’s heart.

Romans 3:10 ESV

10 as it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one;

1 John 1:8 ESV

8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

John 8 (ESV)

1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them. 3 The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst 4 they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. 5 Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” 6 This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. 7 And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9 But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. 10 Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.” 12 Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

The only reason that they are not aware of their own ability to sin in this way is because they are so young.

Each church, family, and person is but a poor mixture of sin and grace.

No character without faults; no church without false professors; no family without troubles. Weeds come without inviting.

4. We can teach them that this sin reminds us of a great Savior we have.

We know that the Lord sees the sin being committed. He is the one being sinned against!

His name is being defamed in the church and among the unbelievers.

Philippians 2:5–11 ESV

5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

There will be a day when all sin is no more. But that day is not here yet.

If He can extend this forbearance, then so can we.

5. We can teach them to forgive.

This is one of the hardest ones.

Realizing how much we have been forgiven through the cross gives us a chance to teach our children the all-important grace of forgiveness.

God has put you in a marriage to learn how to forgive.

He has given you children partly to learn how to forgive.

He has placed you in a church family to learn how to forgive.

Conclusion

Good mentoring and input.

The teaching opportunities.

Community, with all of it’s problems, is God’s Gift to us

The church is dear to Christ. It’s HIs bride.

It should be dear to any parents who want their child to follow the Lord as an adult.

DISCIPLE-MAKING PARENTS ACTIVELY CONNECT THEIR CHILDREN TO OTHERS GODLY EXAMPLES.

Thought, Discussion, and Action

Read Phil. 3:17. How does this verse apply to living out the Gospel in the home?

What are some ways in the normal routine of life we can encourage our children to connect with other godly adults? What are some church structures that can encourage this? Are their family activities or values that can encourage this? What role could hospitality play?

Do you think your children are aware of church problems when they arise? Do you realize they overhear how you talk about the church at home? How should we talk about church hypocrisy?

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