IDK

Do you know what strikes me as the most compelling part of Hannah’s story? Oddly enough it isn’t what the majority of the reading today, which is her song that we get in 1 Samuel 2:1-10, but it is this entire concept of her desire for a child. We have seen how important having a child is already this fall with Abraham and Sarah and we see it elsewhere in the Bible. We also probably know stories maybe personally or from people that we love about the desire to have children. To be completely honest, I remember from a fairly young age, my own desire to have children when I was old enough.

I also recognize that not everyone wants to have children and some people for many reasons aren’t able to have children. And while I do feel very strongly for those people, it is not Hannah’s ability or lack of ability to have a child that really strikes me, but it is what is happening around her desire to have a child.

I know we don’t get all of these details in our reading today and that, as I said, it focuses on her song after the birth of Samuel, her son, but as I also said that is not what really spoke to me. I also know that I could have included one extra verse in today’s reading, but I also didn’t know that was what was speaking to me until after we had the bulletins printed so here I am explaining this all away to you. What really spoke to me was this idea that in the midst of all this pain that Hannah is experiencing from not having a child the bitterness she was experiencing, the emotional sadness that consumed her whole being and everything else wrapped up in it, her initial prayer to God is to give her a boy and that when that happens she’ll give the boy to God for his entire life and that no razor will touch his head which we see in 1 Samuel 1:11 and again at his dedication in 1 Samuel 1:21-28.

What I am trying to say is that Hannah’s entire being is wrapped up in having her own child, a son, and yet at the same time she is willing to offer the son she so desperately wants to the service of God from the moment he is weaned from her and he will be given to Eli the priest so that he may serve God for his entire life, quite literally. I find this idea so compelling and so fascinating and quite literally so confusing.

In fact, this may be one of my oddest sermons I have ever preached because I have no idea what to tell you about this. I have no parallel story in my own life or a story about someone else or something else in this world. Maybe there is one, but I literally could not think of a single example to share with you, and that honestly, and I am being completely honest, moves me in a way that I cannot fully express to you. And yes I could have not talked about it and maybe made more sense telling you about how beautiful her song is and how Mary’s Song, which is the Gospel reading are similar to each other, but I could not stop myself from talking about this.

But here is my reason for sticking with it: I am so profoundly impacted by this desire of Hannah to have a child. Something so deeply personal and meaningful for her. Having a child is a very personal thing. We want to have children to love and to raise and engage with and teach. We want to pass along to the next generation what we hold most dear in our own lives and pray they take some of that and make it their own. It is deeply personal and intimate and something we hold onto. So on the first part, I am totally there with Hannah when she says to God, “Give her a boy!” Though for some reason I always wanted girls, but that’s beside the point.

It is the second part that just confuses and shocks and moves me. Because no sooner does she plead with God to give her a son of her very own, she then utters to God that she’ll give him to God for his entire life. This deeply personal and intimate request she makes and then completely does a 180 degrees and says that the one thing she wants in life she will then give up to God. This completely negates the whole idea that the boy is for her. It’s not for her it’s for God. So in my mind the question becomes, what is something so important in this life that we want more than anything else, but ultimately it’s not for us, but for God. That is the question that I feel is at the heart of what Hannah is praying for and I have no idea how to express it another way that may be more helpful for us.

The only thing that came to my mind as a way of wrapping my head around this is to look at the video I put out this week on Soli Deo Gloria, or for those not up on their Latin: To God alone the Glory. Perhaps in some way Hannah’s prayer and her song were a way for her to be able to live out this idea that in everything we do it is God alone who should receive the glory. So perhaps as much as she wanted a child, and how much that would mean for her personally, she ultimately realizes that it is not about her and the outcome of her prayer but that in even our most deepest desires in this life, they should be tied and intimately woven into this idea, this theology that in everything we do it should always point to God and that God alone is the one who receives the glory for what God does in this world and in our lives.

So while I personally wrestle with this incredible prayer of Hannah, I hope that you were able to get something out of my ramblings today. I hope that you can find ways that God has interceded in your life like God did for Hannah and that through it you were able to give God praise for how incredible God is and to know that even in the most difficult of times when you can do nothing but cry in your own bitterness like Hannah, that you know that you can bring those prayers those sighs too deep for words to God and that no matter the outcome God will be there for you and I pray that just knowing that God is with you through whatever it is that we are able to give thanks to God for God’s love and steadfastness to each and every one of us. And that through that and everything else we are able to do in our lives, that we give God the glory. Amen.