How Not to Pray

Introduction

Today we get back into our series of The Way, the Truth, and the Life: Following Jesus through the Gospels. We have reached a point in Jesus’ life where he is about a year-and-a-half into what will end up being about a 3-ish year ministry. We have gotten to the point where Jesus is giving his most famous discourse and the longest one recorded in the Bible, the Sermon on the Mount.

The Sermon on the Mount is found in Matthew chapters 5-7. We saw that as Jesus taught this sermon, he was surrounded by multitudes, but his target audience were his disciples, those that believed in him, those that were born again and committed to following Jesus.

As Jesus begins to preach, he opens up with the Beatitudes. We learned that the beatitudes are characteristics that every Christian has. We have these characteristics, not of our own doing, but because of the work of the Holy Spirit within us. It is impossible to develop these things in our own power. But the good news is, we don’t have to.

Jesus told His disciples, “Blessed are those who are poor in spirit, and so forth. He did not say, “Blessed are those who develop a sense of being poor in spirit,” because every Christian is poor in spirit.

We saw in the beatitudes that Jesus is concerned with our happiness. Not just temporal happiness, but lasting, deep-seated happiness. However, at the end of this part of the study, we saw that happiness does not come from the places the we normally would think they come from, they come from following the Lord and surrendering to Him completely as he develops within us, these Beatitudes.

But what is the purpose of the Holy Spirit giving us these character traits? It is so that we can be Salt and Light in this world. These beatitudes in us, exercised fully, will enable us to make a difference in the world we live. God can and will use us to be a halting agent to the corrupting power of sin in our circles. He will use us to show the world His character of love and righteousness. And God will use us to spread the light of the Gospel to others.

Moving from that point, Jesus continues his sermon by describing the importance of our heart in obedience to the law. As he covers issues from anger to murder, to marriage and divorce, to justice and revenge, what we see repeated over and over again is this principle: the heart matters more than the actions. The right actions with the wrong heart are still wrong in God’s eyes, but a right heart will protect us from wrong actions.

Jesus ends this section of the Sermon on the Mount with an admonition: That we should follow these things because of who we are - the children of our heavenly Father. Regardless of your last name, nationality, ethnicity, gender, or age, if you know Jesus as your savior, you are a child of God and a citizen of Heaven, and that identity should be the base for everything you do and every philosophy you hold.

For the last five week we have been studying about what the Bible teaches about giving, and that all stemmed from Jesus’ progression through the Sermon on the Mount.

Jesus starts this brand new section of the Sermon making ab amazing statement in Matthew chapter 6. He sets forth a principle as he begins to talk about practices dealing with our religious lives. Jesus covers three practices that encompass the totality of the Christian religious practice from Matthew 6 verse 2 through verse 18. These practices or disciplines are those of giving, praying,and fasting. Christians should be generous (giving), we should be constantly seeking to be in closer fellowship with God (praying), and we must be relentless in our desires to mortify the flesh as we fight self and sin in our lives (fasting).

As Jesus goes through these practices, he lays out a principle that we have seen in chatper 5. The principle is this - Take heed, be careful, to not do your righteousness before men to be seen of men. Because when our intentions are to receive praise from others, then we have no reward from our heavenly Father. The intentions behind our actions ultimately mean more than just doing the right things.

In verses 2-4, Jesus talks about giving. He says that when we give, we are not to do it as the hypocrites do, for all the world to see. We are not to be boastful in our giving. We are not to parade around the amount of money of gifts that we give. This is self-aggrandizing and has no lasting reward for us. In fact, this is born out of pride, and the Bible clearly tells us that when we act out of pride, God sets Himself against us. So not only is there no reward, but there is discipline that follows that kind of heart.

And now we get to our sermon today that is all about prayer. In fact, because of how Jesus deals with this in His Sermon on the Mount, this brings us to yet another mini-series, this time on prayer, which I have titled, “Teach Us to Pray.”

How Not to Pray

We find ourselves in Matthew 6:5-8 this morning as we look at an interesting topic, How Not to Pray. Normally that is not the question that is asked. Normally, the questions I get asked surrounding prayer are, “How should I pray? How long should I pray for? How many times a day should I pray? What should I be praying for? How do I even pray?” The question that I have never gotten is, “What is the worst way to pray?”

But Jesus, unprompted in our text here in Matthew, begins his exposition of prayer by addressing first the wrong way to pray.

Matthew 6:5–8

5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

These verse tend to get read as an exposition of the Pharisees, a condemnation, if you will, of the obvious hypocrites. What comes to mind when we read these verses is a person loudly, and perhaps in a British accent, praying with a puffed up chest, face slightly uplifted, and in Victorian Era English.

But what Jesus does with these verses, in fact what he begins to do in verse one when he warns us not to do our righteousness before men, is to expose one of the most pervasive sins in humanity - the sin of pride.

This sin of pride is so terrible that it can affect how we give, as studied in the previous verses. Sin is so terrible, however, that it will even attempt to follow us to the throne room of God. As we have seen in chapter 5 and even in the first 4 verses of chapter 6 so far, nothing can be farther from the truth than to think that sin dwells only in our actions. No, sin, as Martin Lloyd-Jones puts it, “is essentially a disposition. It is a state of the heart.”

Pride is one of the most, if not the most, horrible of all sins. From pride there stem such a great diversity of other sins that it would be impossible to count them all. Pride is so pervasive that it even affects our worship. We try to convince ourselves that we are worshipping God, when in reality, we are worshipping ourselves. This is the terrible nature of sin, if we are not on the lookout, it can corrupt the most sacred of practices, to include our communion with God.

Speaking on the issue of prayer, D. Martin Lloyd-Jones once said,

[Prayer] is the highest activity of the human soul, and is at the same time the ultimate test of a man’s true spiritual condition.

Studies in the Sermon on the Mount (2), 46

David Martyn Lloyd-Jones (Welsh Preacher and Writer)

Prayer is the highest activity in which we can engage as Christians, because through prayer we are able to draw very close to God. It is no wonder that we read in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 “17 Pray without ceasing.” Prayer helps keep us close to God and helps keep the Enemy at bay, but it is not simply the act of prayer that does this. Let me explain.

When we think of the nature of Satan and his activities, his role in tempting mankind and deceiving him, we often think of the poor people caught in the clutches of some devastating addiction, or the man or woman who has thrown away family and career because of a foolish outburst or a night of passion.

But we don’t need to go to the dregs of society to find Satan and sin working to their fullest, no. We simply need to go back to Matthew chapter 4. In Matthew 4 we studied Jesus Christ, recently baptized, gone up into a wilderness to be alone with the Father before the start of his public ministry. For 40 days Jesus fasted and prayed. For 40 days he spoke to the Father. And even after 40 days of fasting and praying, who thought it would be a good idea to show up and crash that fellowship? None other than Satan. This is the true nature of Satan. This is the audacity our enemy has, to tempt the very own Son of God who was having a conversation with His Father in heaven.

So what does that tell us about our own selves? Well, we know that Satan is going to throw everything he can at me so that I don’t pray. But even when I do pray, I can be sure of one thing, if I let my guard down, if I pray in my own strength, as I pray I can be just as susceptible to sin as when I am not.

So Jesus addresses His disciples in Chapter 6:5-8. This is His warning. “Take heed, be careful, because pride and sin can corrupt even your time spent in prayer.” The practice of prayer is not what keeps sin at bay, it is the heart of prayer. It is a heart that is fully set on speaking to and knowing God.

So Jesus tells us, His disciples, two things about prayer. He starts off by telling us

How Not to Pray

There is a wrong approach to prayer, and this approach involves us concentrating in ourselves or on the prayer itself. The issue with this approach is to prayer is that instead of focusing our attention on the One to whom we are praying, we are focused rather on ourselves or on the words we are saying.

Jesus gives a good picture of this as he says, Matthew 6:5

Matthew 6:5

5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

These hypocrites stand in the synagogue, they position themselves in a place of prominence. Remember the parable of the publican and the Pharisee? Luke 18:10-12

Luke 18:10–12

10 Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.

11 The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. 12 I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.

And yet, if you were to continue reading, the Publican stood afar off, not even daring to lift his eyes toward heaven. His cry was simply, “Lord, be merciful to me, a sinner.” The reward of that publican is that he left receiving mercy from God. The reward for the Publican, and all others that pray so that they may be seen of others, was that he was seen by others. That’s it.

Notice the heart of the Pharisee. “He prayed with himself.” That word with indicates direction. He prayed, not with God, but with himself. He was the object and recipient of his own prayer.

Prayer is good. There are those who some have called “prayer warriors.” People who spend a lot of time praying for others. And you know what, most true prayer warriors are unknown. There is a problem when someone wishes to hold the status or the “title” or be recognized as a so-called prayer warrior because those that seek the recognition for their prayers are plainly called hypocrites by our Lord.

When we become interested just in ourselves as we pray, it is a short skip and a hop away to the desire to be seen praying. That will then lead us to do things that will be sure to be seen by others.

I can’t remember who I was talking with the other day, but the topic came up of people seeking the spotlight and using church ministry as a way to find that spotlight. For about 2 years I worked on staff with a person who shocked me by the actual words that left his mouth one day. We were short on children’s teachers for a little while, and the pastor had come up with a plan to include this man and his wife in the rotation of children’s teachers along with Tahsha and myself. We’ll call this man, Billy (not his actual name). Billy and I and the pastor were discussing all this and figuring out the logistics of it all, when Billy exclaimed in a very frustrated way, “I don’t belong in the back with the kids, my place is on the stage!”

We had had the suspicion that Billy would only ever serve willingly in areas where he would receive praise from others for a while, but this was outright confirmation of it.

So Jesus makes sure that we are aware that seeking the spotlight and the praise and approval of man when we pray is not right. So instead, Jesus says, “Go into your closet and pray.” Now, this is not a literal command, just like “cut off your right hand” was not a literal command, because it is possible to go into your closet to pray where no one can see you, and still let people know that you are praying in your closet.

But then there is another danger in our approach to prayer, and it is even more subtle. This approach to prayer is not necessarily with the focus on one’s self, but on the prayer. Notice what Jesus says in Matthew 6:7

Matthew 6:7 KJV 1900

7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

We can call this the danger of focusing on the form or the length of our prayers. We’ve probably all been there at one point or another whether in high school or college or work. We are tasked with writing a memo or an essay and it has to be a certain length.

On June 6, 1944, Allied forces launched an invasion on the beaches of Normandy, France. Known as D-Day, this operation was a pivotal moment in World War II. The goal was to liberate Western Europe from Nazi occupation. Over 156,000 Allied troops participated. Despite facing heavy resistance, the operation was successful, and it marked the beginning of the end for Nazi Germany.

As opposed to:

In the early hours of June 6, 1944, a date that would be forever inscribed in the annals of history, the Allied forces embarked upon an immense, meticulously orchestrated, and phenomenally ambitious invasion of the intensely fortified beaches of Normandy, nestled in the northern expanses of France. This unprecedented military maneuver, which has since come to be renowned as D-Day, epitomized a critical and transformative juncture in the grand tapestry of World War II. The paramount objective of this colossal and audacious operation was to effectuate the liberation of Western Europe from the malevolent stranglehold of Nazi occupation, an endeavor that necessitated unparalleled feats of coordination, valor, and strategic brilliance. As this historic day unfolded, an astounding assemblage of over 156,000 troops, drawing from the combined military might of the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, and a constellation of other Allied nations, converged upon the shores of Normandy in a display of remarkable solidarity and resolve. Confronted with formidable and tenacious resistance from the entrenched German defenses, these valiant forces persevered through tremendous adversity, ultimately securing a monumental victory that signaled a pivotal turning point in the war and heralded the commencement of the inexorable downfall of Nazi Germany.

See the difference? Unnecessary wordiness. I find it rather a bit humorous that this verse is right before what is commonly referred to as the Lord’s Prayer, a prayer that is so commonly repeated word-for-word. But this goes beyond the practice of repeating prayers such as the “our Father” or the rosary over and over again. This is an indictment upon those that focus primarily on the way that they pray more than on the person they pray to.

Though there is nothing wrong with having a certain time in which you regularly pray, but too many people are overly concerned about the time in which they pray. They attach great importance to the time set for prayer or the time spent in prayer. We can get caught up in these things so much that we forget what we are doing and why.

Great men and women have always spent much time in prayer and in the presence of God. But they did not become great saints by looking at the clock. They simply realized that they were in the presence of the Lord. Prayer became their life, and they could not live without that constant communication with God. The moment we become mechanical in the way that we pray, we have ruined everything about prayer and lost sight of the One to whom we are praying. We do not need to eliminate any mathematical notion about prayer. Prayer doesn’t work like that. We don’t count beads to keep track of how many times we have repeated a phrase; we don’t count the minutes or the hours to know how much blessing to expect. We simply count the fact that we have spent time with God Almighty.

Too many people are too nervous to pray, scared to pray because of what others may think of them. This is a focus on self and on the mechanics, the form of prayer. Prayer is a simple thing - it is talking to God. How do you talk to your friends? How do you talk with your family? Talk to God this way! You are, after all, His child. Jesus calls us friends. There is no need to have a whole different vocabulary when you pray, or adopt some kind of vocal pattern that is not natural to you. God knows who you are and wishes for you to talk with Him.

How would you feel if you observed the person you most wanted a deep friendship with talk with his or her family and friends in a casual and intimate manner, but then, as soon as they directed themselves at you, they all of a sudden became cold and formal in both their words and body language? Don’t worry about the how so much; just pray!

How To Pray

So there is a right way to pray. The secret is not in how many words you say, what posture you have, or how long it is. The secret of a good prayer is simply in the approach. The one thing that we need to realize is that we are in fact approaching God. This is the only thing that matters. When we approach God with this realization, nothing else matters. It doesn’t matter who hears or who doesn’t, it doesn’t matter how long your prayer is, it doesn’t matter if you’re laying down, seated, standing, or kneeling. Nothing matters except for the fact that you are with the Almighty God of the Universe who sent His Son to die for you so that you could spend time with Him and He could show you how to give Him the most glory out of your life.

When we approach prayer we must shut out and forget other people, and we must shut out and forget ourselves. There is no value in entering a secret closet and locking the door if the whole time I am in there I am occupied with thoughts of others or myself. There is no point to it if I sit in my closet and pride myself on the amount of time or the length or supposed beauty of my prayers. I might as well be standing on a street corner praying for all to hear.

No, when I pray, my heart must be entirely open to God alone. I remind myself every time I enter into God’s throne room that I am in the presence of God, and I am there to talk to Him.

How different would our prayer time be if we were to remind ourselves, “I am now entering into the presence of God, the Almighty, the absolute and eternal One. The great God with all His power and majesty; the creator; the God who is a consuming fire, in whom there is no darkness at all; the holy God; the God who loves me; the God who saved me; my heavenly Father who knows the secrets of my heart.

And when we pray in secret, our Father who sees in secret will one day reward us openly. God desires to bless us so much more than we desire to be blessed. He has a plan for each of our lives. How are we going to know it? The best way to start is to take everything to Him regularly in prayer.

Finally, we must enter into His presence with confidence. The book of Hebrews tells us that because we have a God who cares, because of the fact that Jesus lived a life like ours and was touched with the weaknesses that we suffer, we can enter boldly into His throne room as we seek His grace and mercy.

It was recorded that during Abraham Lincoln’s presidency, his son, Tad, would often barge into the president’s office to play, talk to his father, or simply sit in his presence. Of course, this practice sometimes interrupted meetings with cabinet members and generals. But the president had a free access policy to himself when it came to his son, and little Tad took advantage of it often. We are never to timidly go into God’s presence. We are to go boldly, as sons and daughters to a loving Father.

We can go confidently before the Lord knowing that he loves us. We can go confidently into His presence knowing that He has our best in mind. Too many people have the false thought that God is standing in between them an their desires., However, God has said and has shown that He desires the very best for us. He desires my ultimate good in Jesus Christ.

Psalm 84:11 KJV 1900

11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield: The Lord will give grace and glory: No good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.

There are too many spiritually poor Christians walking around with the wrong idea about God. Not fully understanding the longing He has for intimacy with us, fearing God, lacking confidence and faith, or simply not understanding His power.

Ephesians 3:20–21 KJV 1900

20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, 21 Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.

How are you praying? Are you even praying?

Invitation

With heads bowed and eyes closed, I’ll ask just a couple of questions. How is your prayer life? Is it consumed with thoughts of self and selfish prayers?

Is it consumed with thoughts about how others think of your prayers?

Have your prayers become stagnant and mechanical, mindlessly going through a prayer list, making sure you cover the right things and say things the right way?

Has prayer been relegated to a practice of last resort, “after all else fails, pray,” kind of thing?

Is it simply non-existent?

Have you bought into the lie that God doesn’t listen to your prayers?

Is there anyone that would say, “Bro Mike, pray for me. I need to start approaching prayer differently.”

For the lost: If you do not know Jesus as savior, there is one prayer, one conversation that God is longing to have with you. That is a conversation about salvation. He wants to hear you express with your heart and your words that you need Jesus and trust Him to save you from the sin that you could never save yourself from.

It is not complicated, and I would love to talk to you more about it if you have any questions.

Is there anyone that would like to talk after church?

End

Home Groups

Why do you think Jesus begins His teaching on prayer by focusing on how not to pray, rather than on how to pray?

What does it mean to "pray to be seen by others"? How can pride infiltrate our prayer lives without us realizing it?

Jesus contrasts the prayer of the Pharisee with that of the publican (Luke 18:10-12). How does the posture of their hearts in prayer differ, and what can we learn from this contrast?

What are some modern ways that we might fall into the trap of praying with self-focus or seeking attention in prayer?

Why does Jesus emphasize praying "in secret" (Matthew 6:6)? How can private prayer deepen our relationship with God?

What does it mean to use "vain repetitions" in prayer (Matthew 6:7), and why does Jesus warn against it? How can we avoid mechanical prayer?

In what ways can focusing on the length or eloquence of our prayers distract us from truly connecting with God?

How does the statement, "Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him" (Matthew 6:8), change the way we should approach prayer?

In the sermon, it was mentioned that prayer is about approaching God. How can a proper understanding of God's character transform our approach to prayer?

How does pride impact our spiritual life beyond prayer? What practical steps can we take to cultivate humility, especially in our communion with God?