Critical People

New series - RV - loving the people who suck the life out of you. Ppl who steal joy. Who make miserable sometimes. See coming - run!

Yet we aren’t allowed to just write off. Series is about LOVING them - but they make it difficult!

Today talking about Critical People. Ever been around someone with the spiritual gift of fault-finding? Whatever you do - you did it wrong. Translated: you didn’t do it like they wanted you to or would have done it. It’s ironic, bc they’re NOT ACTUALLY DOING IT!!

Might find hard to believe, but as a pastor open to a lot of criticism as pastor/church. Shocking, I know. Service too long/too short. Don’t preach about ____ enough/too much about ___. Music too loud/don’t like the songs. I once called out ungracious article a conservative group wrote about LGBT people. I didn’t disagree with their theology, just their tone. Well! I was accused of being too soft on sin.

Ever experience this? Boss/spouse/parent. What you wear/who you hang out with/chew your food wrong.

How do we avoid criticism? Attributed to Aristotle - “Do nothing, say nothing, be nothing” - Aristotle

Of course, if you followed this advice, ppl with criticize you for being lazy or lacking initiative.

Avoiding criticism is a no win. If you are going to follow Jesus YOU WILL BE CRITICIZED!

We should note that criticism comes from two types of people. While it’s never fun, some criticism comes from ppl who honestly care about you and are trying to help. Even if they’re wrong, they’re well-meaning. As the Proverbs say, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” (Proverbs 27:6, NKJV)

A lot of criticism comes from less well-meaning people. Common sources of this kind of criticism: anger, wounded, dealing with own disorders. Calls for compassion on our part.

Our goal not to avoid criticism but to respond to criticism in a healthy and loving way. How do we respond to critical people? We’re going to look at one story this morning of how Jesus responded to critical people.

Pray…

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Read John 8:2-11

John 8:2–11 (NRSV)

Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him and he sat down and began to teach them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery; and making her stand before all of them, they said to him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. Now in the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They said this to test him, so that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once again he bent down and wrote on the ground. When they heard it, they went away, one by one, beginning with the elders; and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus straightened up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, sir.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.”

Set up story: obviously a stunt. Woman set up. Not sincere or man would be present. Trying to trap Jesus so they’ll have more ammunition to criticize him over. How did Jesus - and how should we - respond to critical people?

Often you DON’T respond.

Just bc someone criticizes doesn’t mean you have to respond. You don’t have to attend every dance you’re invited to!

The authorities launch into Jesus wanting to find more ways to criticize him. He doesn’t respond; instead bends down and writes in dirt (the Bible’s greatest mystery).

This wasn’t a one-time approach that Jesus took. It was so much a pattern of life that later the apostle Peter would write 1 Peter 2:23 “When he was abused, he did not return abuse; when he suffered, he did not threaten; but he entrusted himself to the one who judges justly.”

Didn’t retaliate. Didn’t defend. Didn’t threaten. Instead - trusted God. He trusted God with his reputation, with his ministry, with his life.

Jesus was so sure of his identity and calling he felt no need to respond to every criticism. In fact, to stop and respond to every critic would have jeopardized his calling.

Same for us, it’s essential that we ground our identity and purpose in God. This way we rise above our critics rather than sinking into the mud with them. Don’t allow yourself to be taken off track of your calling by the critical spectator.

Appreciate John Wimber. Early years of Vineyard attacked a lot. Called a cult bc we thought you should do ministry the way Jesus did. John refused to go wallow in the mud with detractors - he just kept movement “doin the stuff” as he put it and let the evidence speak for itself.

Sometimes we don’t and shouldn’t respond. But then

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Sometimes you respond… WISELY

Jesus bends to write in the dirt. I like to think that he was considering whether or not he should respond and, if so, HOW he should respond.

What we see here clearly is that Jesus didn’t react. He responded. Big difference. Reaction is driven by emotion. Usually lashing out in anger. Response driven by careful thought. With skill and wisdom he circumvented their attempt to trap him and instead turned the table spotlighting their own sinfulness. He didn’t deny what the law said: he helped them see their own guilt. The wisdom of Jesus in responding to his critics is one of the things that amazed people.

Religious leaders sent Temple guards one time to arrest Jesus. They came back empty handed. When asked why they responded, “‘No one ever spoke the way this man does,’ the guards replied.” (John 7:46, NIV)

Your a mom & ppl will criticizes you bc you aren’t staying home, or ARE staying home. Can’t win! Criticize bc you decided to go into ministry, bc you give a lot of time to the church - don’t make excuses, give an explanation. It’s ok to give someone the reason you’re doing what you’re doing. 1 Peter 3:15 “Always be ready to make your defense to anyone who demands from you an accounting for the hope that is in you”

But before you do anything - wait! Make sure you aren’t just reacting. Can’t tell you how many times I typed up a vehement response to someone’s idiotic post on FB only to have to immediately delete it. After thought and prayer knew I was reacting not responding.

Advice: don’t hit send. When emotions are high, wisdom is low.

Don’t react - respond prayerfully and wisely.

How to respond to CP:

Often don’t

Sometimes but wisely

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Occasionally listen and make a change.

Hard truth - sometimes your critics are right! May not be well-meaning but may still be correct.

Adage: If one or two people tell you’re a donkey (a$$), they have a problem. If ten ppl tell you you’re a donkey - buy a saddle.

If everyone is telling you something is a problem - maybe it is. If your wife tells you you’re yelling too much - you’re probably yelling too much. If all your friends, parents, siblings telling you’re dating the devil - cast it out!

“If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.” (Proverbs 15:31–32, NLT)

Me: mannerisms while preaching early on. Gram - “going to pull ear off”. More recently young leader in church pointed out I speak negatively about myself from the pulpit - not helpful or good example. Didn’t realize, but they were right!

If you don’t ever listen to criticism you’re missing big opportunities to grow. Wise, mature followers of Jesus listen to their critics to see if there is any truth there.

How to respond to CP:

Often don’t

Sometimes but wisely

Occasionally you make a change

Finally...

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Alway guard your heart

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” (Proverbs 4:23, NLT)

Whether criticism comes from someone well-meaning or not, we must be careful to not allow criticism shipwreck us. You will be criticized. This is why it’s so essential that you know your identity and know your calling.

I’ve had to learn, and you’ll have to learn, Don’t let compliments go to your head, don’t let allow criticism to go to your heart. When you know your identity in Christ and are confident in your calling, you won’t be moved by praise from fans or criticism from haters. Who you are becoming matters more than what others think.

Don’t let it in. Do not put ppls opinion above God’s.

But there’s another way we need to guard our heart. If I’m honest I also can have a critical spirit. I critic how ppl spend their money. How often someone attends church. Other churches. My wife can testify.

And if you’re honest, maybe you are overly critical too at times. We have to be so careful in how we respond to our passage today. I think we tend to read the story and put our self in the place of the women - I’ve been unjustly condemned - or in the place of Jesus - I wouldn’t have responded like the religious jerks. But the truth is that many times we are the ones holding the stones.

I’m not critical…

I’m just opinionated!

I’m just telling it how it is.

I’m just being real.

No, you’re being critical. And it’s not a fruit of the Spirit.

Jesus is shaping us to be ppl who are free of condemnation. This is what practicing the way of Jesus is all about - being with him so we can become like him so that we can say and act and think and do as he did.

Jesus wants to raise you up above where you are. To bring you further in to the life that is really life. And as you follow him in the way, you’ll find that you are increasingly a person who looks for the good in others and believes the best about them. It’s a defense against the overly critical and against becoming critical. We can’t avoid criticism; with the help of the HS we can become people who respond to it in a positive way.

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Ministry...

Pray for those who feel the weight of other’s criticism...

Pray for those who feel convicted about their own critical nature...

Pray for those who are ready to follow Jesus...

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Communion

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*** Announcement reminders ***

I want us to close our worship time being reminded of God’s incredible love for us and the power we have through Jesus Christ. Let’s say together the early Christian hymn found in the apostle Paul’s letter to the Philippians.

Philippians 2:5–11 (NRSV)

Let the same mind be in you

that was in Christ Jesus,

who, though he was in the form of God,

did not regard equality with God

as something to be exploited,

but emptied himself,

taking the form of a slave,

being born in human likeness.

And being found in human form,

he humbled himself

and became obedient to the point of death—

even death on a cross.

Therefore God also highly exalted him

and gave him the name

that is above every name,

so that at the name of Jesus

every knee should bend,

in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

and every tongue should confess

that Jesus Christ is Lord,

to the glory of God the Father.

Now as we prepare to take this time of worship into the week ahead, the Lord who loves you reminds you in Romans:

Romans 8:1 NRSV

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

GO BE THE CHURCH!!