Shame

Introduction

This morning we are continuing in our series looking at the Psalms and our emotions.

As human beings we feel, it’s how we’re made, and the world around us seems to be particularly focused on our feelings at the moment. There’s a lot about listening to our emotions. Which is definitely a healthy thing to do.

So we’re looking in this series about what God might want to say to us about our emotions.

So far we have looked at fear and wonder, and today we are looking at shame.

Whenever I look at the psalms, I realise again and again how they cover such a wide range of human emotions, they are so real and sometimes very raw, and it reminds me that I can come to God all the time, whatever I am feeling, and God is big enough to handle me with whatever is going on in my life.

God is never overwhelmed by our emotions or situations.

But not only is God not overwhelmed, God wants us to bring everything to him … he wants us to turn to him in any and every situation

So, let’s turn to Psalm 32 ...

Opening Statements

Psalm 32 is a psalm where one person is giving thanks for what God does.

Note on ‘of David’.

It’s also got this little word ‘maskil’ there at the beginning. Sometimes there are words in Hebrew where we’re not completely sure what they mean, so they are included but they aren’t translated into an English word. One thought is that Psalms that have the word ‘maskil’ with them could be psalms that are intended to teach us something, and you do see that in this Psalm.

The psalm starts in verses 1 and 2 with these opening statements that tell us these truths … and it feels like the psalmist starts with these - he’s making these statements - and then in the rest of the psalm he’s going to explain why.

Psalm 32:1–2 “Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit.”

He is stating that the person who is forgiven by the Lord is blessed …

To be forgiven by the Lord is to be blessed

That makes sense to me … I don’t know how many times that I have been thankful that God is a God who forgives all of my sin and wrong

And it’s interesting that the psalmist uses three different words to talk about forgiveness - and they each paint a different picture

Forgiven - and this word has this sense of carrying

When someone does something wrong against you, you can’t do anything about it - once it is over, it is done. Often we are powerless to stop it because by the time we’re thinking about forgiveness, it has already happened.

So then we have a choice … If the person who has been wronged or sinned against wants to move forward in their relationship with that person, they have to carry what that other person has done, and potentially the consequences as well. And instead of seeking compensation, the wronged person chooses to carry that wrong so that there is nothing that comes of the initial wrongdoing.

So forgiving means carrying the wrong done to you and not letting it come between you.

It’s quite a tough thing - humanly speaking.

Now, I am aware that as we talk about forgiveness - we will all have very different experiences. Some of us will be aware of the things that we have done wrong that we wished we hadn’t - things that had a big impact on someone else. Some of us will be aware of the things that others have done to us - things that will be very difficult to carry. So if you feel you want to leave the room at any point that is ok. There will also be an opportunity to talk and pray with people a bit later if something comes up that you would value talking about or receiving prayer for. Also, do come and speak to me at the end of the service if you would find that helpful.

So forgiving means carrying the wrong done to you and not letting it come between you.

And this is what the Lord does for us.

Covered - and this literally means covering over so that you can’t see - so God chooses to cover over our sins so that he can’t see them.

Not counted against them - we can probably think of times when someone has done something wrong to us and we might have forgiven them but we have held on in our hearts to what they have done. Then maybe at a later date we have brought it up again. Maybe the thing that happened was so tough or niggled us so much that we didn’t let it go - we kept a record of wrongs as the phrase goes … but God doens’t keep a record of wrongs with us, he doesn’t count them against us.

So we are blessed when we are forgiven because God chooses to carry the wrong that we have done, he chooses to cover it over so he can’t see it, and he doesn’t count it against us.

Personal Experience

After these opening statements, the psalmist goes into personal experience - he not only states that verses 1 and 2 are true, but he then goes on to explain why.

And this is where we are looking at shame this morning because the psalmist paints this picture of what happens when we don’t own up to the wrong that we have done.

He says …

Psalm 32:3–4 “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.”

When we don’t own up to the wrong we have done, when we try to hide it or bury it deep down - when we keep silent, - it eats us up.

One of the main reasons why we don’t open up about it is because we are experiencing shame.

Shame = humiliation or distress about the consciousness of wrong - so we are aware of what we have done wrong and we are distressed and embarrassed, even humiliated that we have done it - we are feeling ashamed

Example of me reversing out and not seeing someone - initially a bit angry at them, partly because he was giving me a look or possibly a guesture - but really, I was at fault - and I felt embarrassed, there was a sense of feeling ashamed

Sometimes the sense of shame relates to the seriousness of the wrong - we might feel a lot of shame when we have done something really bad

But it can also relate to how public the fault was - we feel particularly ashamed if what has happened was done in view of lots of people

We’re probably overlapping a fair amount with guilt with this psalm because it is talking about wrongdoing

Guilt is that feeling of knowing that you have done wrong - Shame is about what others will think

And we probably keep silent because of the fear of the embarrassment of speaking it out - and of what people might think of us - and we can also do that with God

But in verse 5, the psalmist describes what happens when he finally speaks

Psalm 32:5 “Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin.”

And there is this sense of relief - this weight is lifted as he uncovers his wrong. It is something that can be really painful, but the relief that comes when you are not holding on to something is worth it.

This is often the case with other people - but it’s always the case with God. Because God is the one who forgives.

God’s Goodness

Then in vv 6-7 the psalmist moves from talking about his experience to talking to God - he shows his personal relationship with God and he expains why it is good to turn to God.

It is good because when we turn him, he welcomes us - when we confess our sins, he forgives us

The psalmist knows this from experience

Psalm 32:6 “Therefore let all the faithful pray to you while you may be found; surely the rising of the mighty waters will not reach them.”

Let the faithful pray to you … let them come to you … it’s his prayer … we know what happens when we do not confess our sins, so Lord please let people come to you - because you will be found by them

And the psalmist continues …

Psalm 32:7 “You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.”

This is his experience - in every situation, whatever the wrong he has done, he has come to the Lord and every time he has found that God surrounds him with ‘songs of deliverance’ - God has spoken his mercy and grace over him time after time - so he knows that it is God who is his hiding place, his security, his safety - he is the one who protects him from trouble.

God's loving wisdom

Then in vv8-9 … it like it is God speaking

Instruction and teaching in love

We’ve probably all experienced a time when someone has instructed or taught us not in complete love

When we might have come away feeling humiliated or bad in some way

But God’s instruction and teaching and counsel is done in perfect love

Psalm 32:8 “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”

God instructs us, teaches us and counsels us whilst looking on us with complete love - it leaves us feeling safe and valued whilst also being corrected

Final Words

vv10-11 … back to David … v10 - statement, v11 - exhortation

Then finally the psalmist comes in to land in vv10 and 11 - in v 10 we are reminded that

Psalm 32:10 “the Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in him.”

So that leads us to worship and praise ...

Psalm 32:11 “Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!”

Conclusion

So just to recap … the psalmist started by saying that we are blessed when we are forgiven because God chooses to carry the wrong that we have done, he chooses to cover it over so he can’t see it, and he doesn’t count it against us.

Then he shares that in his experience keeping silent due to shame eats away at you, but when we bring our wrong into the light before God, we experience forgiveness.

He then gives us a window onto his personal relationship with God … and he tells how he has found that every time he has come to the Lord, he has found forgiveness and safety

When God speaks, we are reminded that when he instructs and teaches us whilst looking on us with complete love

And all of this leads the psalmist to a place of worship

All of this is true for us today because of what Jesus has done for us on the cross.

Jesus carried the weight of our sin and dealt with it on the cross. He covered over it by dying in our place - he took our place - he placed his righteousness over our sinfulness. And so now, our sins are not counted against us because they were counted against Jesus instead of us.

So this means that we do not need to live in shame. We don’t need to live weighed down by the embarrassment and humiliation of what we have done. Instead, we can freely come to God and confess our wrongs to him and we will experience that same lifting of the weight and the joy of forgiveness.

The importance of keeping short accounts

Why do we not keep short accounts - because we feel ashamed - we fear feeling more ashamed when we speak it out loud - but there is power when we confess our sins

James talks about confessing sins to one another - and how powerful that is

James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

God is gracious to us to forgive us … when the psalmist acknowledges his sins, when he confesses them to the Lord, he is forgiven