The Loving Ministry of Dealing with Sin in the Church (Part 1)

Introduction

Last time in this text, we looked at the parable of the unforgiving servant and the nature of forgiveness. We saw that forgiveness is not the same as forgetfulness, nor does it act as if the sin never occurred or that the damage done is not real. Instead, forgiveness releases the sinner from their guilt towards you. It is to treat them as God the Father treats us through the blood of Christ, justifying us so that the righteousness of Christ stands in our place and no guilt is held against us. If we would follow Christ into his eternal Kingdom, we must forgive others for their sins against us as we are forgiven.

We also saw that for forgiveness to lead into reconciliation, there needs to be repentance. Last week we focused on what happens if a Christian is unwilling to forgive his brother or sister in Christ. But even if we are forgiving, what does that look like? How does forgiveness transition us into a process of reconciliation? And what should we do if they are unwilling to confess their wrongdoing and begin the journey of repentance? This is what Christ addresses in these verses. For many of us, the assumption may be that forgiveness means forgetting the other person sinned, but that is not forgiveness. Just because the bank stops sending notices for late mortgage payments, doesn’t mean the debt is gone. Forgiveness must include communication of the sin committed. Otherwise, the other person will not know they are forgiven and the relationship within the Church cannot be restored. Reconciliation is the fruit of forgiveness and can only happen if there is confession on behalf of the sinner.

Augustine:

“Our Lord warns us not to neglect one another’s sins, not by searching out what to find fault with, but by looking out for what to amend.”

In other words, Christ would not have us ignore other people’s sins, but confront them so that they may be healed. We are to rebuke them, not to impose guilt as the unforgiving servant did, but rather so that the fractured relationship with them may be healed.

“If your brother sins...”

Sin Exists in the Church

In this short sermon Jesus delivers to his disciples, he is speaking of the nature of the Kingdom of Heaven. A Kingdom where the great are not great, but rather the humble are lifted up. A Kingdom where causing another to stumble doesn’t benefit you, but ruins you. A Kingdom where one must be willing to take on personal injury rather than compromise in sin. A Kingdom where the self-righteous are forsaken and the wandering sinner is sought out and found by the King. It is also a Kingdom where sin is met, not with retribution, but with forgiveness and reconciliation. Those who will not abide by these standards have no place in God’s Kingdom, in Heaven, or in the Church.

Despite the dangers and the grave warning Jesus gives against falling into sin, he is very aware that sin will exist in the Church. It is not at home here, it ought not be part of God’s Kingdom, and yet in this age we live between two worlds, a world of darkness and death from which we are departing, and a Kingdom of life and light to which we are headed. Although we are justified the moment we are converted, we are not fully saved yet. Salvation is a process unto glory and immortality, justification and receiving the righteousness of Christ by faith is the beginning of that journey. With that understood, we are still, as the hymn says, “prone to wander” and “prone to leave the God I love.”

But why do Christians sin? Why is it that our sinful nature remains in us, though we are justified the very moment we believe?

It must be understood that, just as good works are the fruit of faith, sin is always the fruit of unbelief. Though a grain-sized amount of faith redeems us from the guilt of sin, growth in that faith is required for freedom from sinful works and attitudes. Every struggle with sin is a struggle with doubt, as our faith is not perfected yet. We do not trust God, and so we take not heed to his Word. We know what he says, but we become convinced in a moment that we know better.

God has put the longing for himself in the hearts of all people, or as Augustine put it “our hearts are restless until they find their rest in Thee.” However, the corruption of unbelief believes the lie that money, popularity, success, pride, selfish ambition, sexual immorality, false gods, or any other created thing will satisfy it. We believe the lie of self-sufficiency, that we may be as gods in our own right, or sufficiency in created things, in order to find security, satisfaction, joy, and delight; all things we were made to know and have in God. Sin is always turning away from faith in God’s promises and commands and, in unbelief, committing ourselves to gain the things which he promises in our own ways. Drawing us away from God, this leads us to death and judgement.

For Christians, the guilt of sin is taken care of at the cross. The way is open for us to come to God, but it must be in faith. Sanctification is the process by which we grow in faith and, as a result, grow in holiness.

Being in the state we are now, we know that our faith is imperfect and so our lives will be as well. Thankfully, the Church is established to be a place for sinners to grow into holiness. It is a hospital, a place where the worst sinner who truly believes is rushed in to receive care. Just like a hospital, however, the purpose of the Church is to facilitate healing. If someone is not interested in being healed, they should be dismissed from the hospital, for the bed is needed for others. But if they are willing to undergo the surgery needed by Christ through his body, the Church, they are accepted and welcome and not looked down on for being sick.

So in seeing that, there are two truths that are equally important for the Church to do her job. First, that all sinners are allowed here so long as they trust the great physician, the Lord Jesus Christ. It doesn’t matter if they are an addict, someone who is gender-confused, a homosexual, a greedy businessman, a radical Islamic terrorist, or a perpetrator of the worst crimes imaginable, even those who have put our brothers and sisters to death in martyrdom, if they come to the great physician for healing from their sin they belong in the Church! But alongside this is another truth; a hospital exists to make you better. If we are not able to address sin directly for the purpose of healing and restoration, than we have no business calling ourselves a church.

“Go and tell” Sin in the Church Requires a Response

Jesus says as much in the opening of this text, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault.”

This is uncomfortable for many of us, and may seem unnecessary. After all, can’t I just ignore their sin, forgive it privately, and move on? Others of you have never felt sinned against here simply because you are not very involved in the church. There are members here who come on Sundays but take very little action or responsibility in the Church, and so there is never the opportunity to be sinned against. Your lack of commitment to the church reflects a lack of commitment to Christ, and must be repented of. Others will join a church and get invested until someone sins against them, and in their offense they leave for another church where the exact same thing happens. We must recognize a very stark truth here, if you are serving Christ in his church in the way you are called to, someone is going to sin against you and you are going to have to respond. You can either live a fruitless life in the back pew, you can reject Christ’s command by avoiding those who have offended you, or you can engage with the sins of other biblically. This last choice is the only one which builds up the church, glorifies Christ, and makes more like him.

Why is it necessary that we confront others who sin against us? I found reading Augustine’s sermon on this text very helpful in understanding this, and I will refer to him at times.

If we do not confront the one who has sinned against us, we open ourselves up to a progression from anger to hatred. Anger is a momentary emotion that may be provoked, but if reconciliation is not made it will turn to hatred, which is murder of the heart. If we leave a sin un-resolved, we may give into a hatred which would like to pretend that the other person does not exist, which is murder in the heart.

How is hatred murder of the heart? Jesus tells us this back in the Sermon on the Mount. We can also reason our way to it. Why do people murder? It is simple, because they wish that person did not exist. Whether it is motivated by envy like Cain, vengeance like Absalom, or greed like King Ahab, murder is simply carrying out the desire to abolish someone from existence. Now, if you are so angry with someone that you avoid them entirely because you cannot be at peace while you are reminded that this person exists, that is hatred. That is, you are carrying out the same intention as murder: to wipe that person out of existence, at least out of your existence.

Augustine uses the imagery of watching a child play in a river that is likely to sweep them away and drown them. Anger which leads to correction is loving, but hatred leaves the child to their fate. So, you may be angry when you confront the person, but this should be anger tempered in love. You are upset that they sinned, and yet the goal is to resolve, forgive, and reconcile for the good of both of you. But if you leave them in their sin out of hatred, wishing to avoid and ignore them, both of you may parish. They may die in unrepentance, and you will be die in your hatred. 1 John 3:15

1 John 3:15 ESV

Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.

But Augustine goes on to warn us that confronting the sinner should not be done “from love of yourself”. If your anger stems from your sense of pride and personal injury, that is something you must make right before the Lord. That is the log you must remove before you tackle the speck in your brother’s eye. Rather, it should be in love for them that you confront them, and your anger should be channeled away from yourself and your own hurt to the hurt they have done to their own soul.

What? But they wronged me! Why should I be thinking about their good in all this? Say they stole $10,000 from you. That is money that is sure to perish anyway, and it is God who has taken on the responsibility to care for his loved ones. But they, in committing the sin, have hurt their immortal souls, their eternal conscience. They are more a victim of their own sin than you are, though they do not know it. I’ll say it again for clarity, sin always hurts the sinner more than those they sin against, although they do not realize it yet. This should make you angry out of love for their souls, just as we saw last time that God may be angry at us at times, never out of condemnation, but out of love as of a parent who is angry that their child was nearly killed by walking onto a busy road. Anger is an emotion that has many causes, some good and some evil. Here some amount of controlled anger may be appropriate, but be careful that it is rooted in love for their soul and not for yourself. We see this in the words “you have gained your brother.” It is clear that the confrontation is for their good and the good of your relationship in Christ.

Augustine also points out rightly that this shows us the seriousness we should have when a brother or sister confronts us. Here Jesus says that if you listen to them, they gain you. If you are confronted with your sin, consider it a service done in love rather than something offensive. To be offended in this way is how unbelievers respond to guilt, not the meek and lowly.

James 5:19-20 says,

James 5:19–20 ESV

My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

Paul also says in Gal 6:1

Galatians 6:1 ESV

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

So we see the important role we play when someone sins against us, or when we witness or become aware of someone’s sin. Christians play a priestly role towards one another, becoming the means through which Christ rescues wandering sheep and restores them to the flock. As a member of the Church and as a Christian, you have the obligation to lovingly confront fellow Christians about their sin, primarily in the context of the local church. And if you are confronted, you would be wise to heed their warnings, search the matter out, and seek reconciliation with them. If you do not, you put your eternal soul at risk.

Jesus made it clear back in Matthew 5:23-24 that reconciliation is necessary for true worship, to the point where if the remembrance of an unreconciled situation occurs to you as your worship, you are to first seek reconciliation before you continue. It would be perhaps better, if you know as we come to the Table that you have not sought reconciliation with a brother or sister, to skip it for just that week so that the next week you may take it joyfully with a clear conscience, knowing that you did your part in bringing unity to the body of Christ. This is true whether you are the one who was wronged, or you have done the wrong yourself. Either way, reconciliation must be made. If we are not able to reconcile with one with whom Christ is united by the eternal covenant in his blood, how can we have any confidence in your own union with Christ? To be united with Christ is to be united to them as well, will you neglect that? Our reason to love one another is not based on the person, but on Christ in them. 1 John 4:7-9

1 John 4:7–9 ESV

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.

But if we fail to lovingly rebuke, we show that we do not know God’s love. God’s love does not keep him silent regarding our sin, but rebukes us so that we may walk in life and joy in him through repentance. Again, Augustine writes,

“What we have heard to-day, “If your brother shall sin against you, rebuke him between you and him alone.” If you will neglect this, you are worse than he. He has done an injury, and by doing an injury, has hurt himself with a grievous wound; will you disregard your brother’s wound? Will you see him perishing, or already lost, and disregard his case? Then you are worse in keeping silence, than he in his reviling.”

Didn’t the Holy Spirit love you by awakening you to your sin? Is this not the love of God, that through conviction of sin we may find joy and life in forgiveness? Though this may seem surprising to us, it is sinful for you to ignore the sins of other Christians. It is also sinful to be judgmental or condemning on them for their sins. Instead, in love we are to bring their sins to them. No one is reconciled to God in Christ unless the Spirit convicts the person of their sin and works repentance, so a person cannot show the love of God to their fellow Christians unless they are willing to approach their brother or sister with whom they have a problem and, in love, lead them to confess and repent of the sin so that the forgiveness of Christ may be channeled through you and you may “win” them.

Rebuke in Practice

But how can we practically live out this command of Christ, this way in which sin is dealt with in the New Covenant community of the Church? Next week we will go into what happens if they do not listen to the rebuke, but to close today I want to look at that first one-on-one meeting and how it should be carried out. To do this, let us examine some basic principles and rules to follow.

First, most people tend to fall on one side of two extremes; either you avoid confrontation at all costs or you are too eager to engage with it. Search yourself to know which kind of person are you. Both extremes are the result of pride in some way, and both need to be tempered. If you are quick to argue, then be careful to question yourself before you rebuke. If you tend to avoid conflict, ask whether this tendency is getting in the way of your responsibility to rebuke. To rebuke with too much haste because of pride, or to avoid rebuke because of fear, are both sinful.

Second, if someone has sinned against you, or you have become aware of a sin of another Christian, search yourself for sin first. Remove the log from your own eye, then you will see clearly to remove their speck.

Third, mainly practice rebuke in your own church, among the members of your local body. There may be situations, especially if you have been wronged personally, when this may be practiced with members of other churches and in conjunction with their church, but this mainly applies to us here. You are not responsible to rebuke Christians on the internet, but the ones in your home family whom you know and love.

Fourth, consider if you are the right person to speak with them. It is best that the person who is directly wronged by sin be the first one to rebuke, although this is not always possible. If the sin has no victim in particular, then any member may engage in rebuke as it says in Hebrews 3:13.

Fifth, when you rebuke, you must seek to win them, not destroy them or drive them away. Be clear and concise, but let your tone and choice of words be in love. Speak to them privately as the text says. Remember your goal is to win them, so be gentle and choose your words carefully. Again Augustine says,

“For it may be that through being ashamed, he will begin to defend his sin, and so you will make him whom you desire to heal still worse.”

Admit your own sinfulness so that they do not feel as if you are lording yourself over them as more righteous. You are not coming to them as a judge, but as a brother or sister. Remember that their sin hurts them more than it has hurt you, though they do not realize it yet. However someone may have hurt you will be undone in glory, but their sin and destruction it brings on their soul will not if they continue in it without repentance. Seek to think like this in the confrontation.

Sixth, point out exactly what it is they have done wrong as well as your desire and intention to be reconciled on the matter. Try to be specific, provide examples, and be ready with Scripture that clearly shows their violation. Be sure that the matter is not simply a difference of opinion, perhaps they watched a movie that you don’t think Christians should watch, or maybe their conscience allows them to drink alcohol but yours does not. These concerns may be discussed, but not in this way. The sin should be easily revealed in the pages of Scripture and consistent with the majourity of Christian ethics in Church History.

Seventh, be patient in their repentance. They may react badly right away, but afterwards see their sin and apologize. Give them time for this to happen. If they repent, this does not mean they will not fall into the sin again, and depending on the sin it may be a habit they have a hard time breaking. As long as they agree that change must happen and they are willing to work, be held accountable to it, and confess it when they stumble, further rebuke is not necessary.

Eighth, the result of their confession and repentance should always be a reassuring forgiveness, as we saw last week. Again, forgiveness does not mean everything is ok and that they hurt no longer exists. It does not mean you trust them yet. But it does mean that you no longer hold them as guilty of sin against you. In this way, the forgiveness of Jesus himself is communicated.

Conclusion

There is so much more we could say about this, and I’m sure some of you may have questions. We have spoken here about dealing with sin in the church and particularly in the local church membership. This does not address when an unbeliever sins against you, which the NT says mainly to return curses with blessing and evil with good. How does that work out? How do we reconcile with a non-believing family member? What about someone who says they are a Christian but you are not sure whether they truly follow Christ? There are so many situations that we may struggle to fit these biblical guidelines into, and all I can say here is to pray for wisdom in each circumstance. Pray for this wisdom and believe that God will give it. Observe the way of Christ and the Apostles in the NT and how they dealt with conflict. Consult Christians that you trust to see how they think you should deal with the issue, with appropriate discretion of course. In all things, operate by the rule of love. If your heart is truly to love them and reconcile with them, then the biggest difficulty has already been overcome.

Remember that this is Christ’s instruction for Christians who have embraced child-like humility and trust. This model doesn’t work in the world, which is why we need police, judges, courts, and soldiers. In the church, however, Paul rebukes people in Corinth for taking each other to court, because in doing so we deny the legitimacy of the reality of the Kingdom of God in his Church.

To be in this Kingdom, you must first become like a child. You must enter into the beatitudes at the beginning of Matthew 5 and become like them; meek, lowly, poor, broken, merciful, peaceful, gentle, and willing to suffer evil for Christ’s sake. If you have not believed on the Lord Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, than you continue to stand guilty before God and do not belong to his Kingdom. Be sure that you know the forgiveness of Christ by faith, and if you do, be sure you follow his instruction in the calling we have to lovingly rebuke and forgive our brothers and sisters. Only then will we have a Church that truly reflects the reality of the Kingdom of God on earth.