Friends and Enemies

Introduction

“What a Friend we have in Jesus.” Our need for friendship as human beings.

Our experience of Jesus’ friendship in the church.

The importance to discern friend from foe in our journey of godliness.

A Look at Paul’s Friends

In this closing section of greeting, we see Paul politely send a friendly “hello” to various people who were at Rome at the time. Last time we looked at the deaconess Phoebe who was likely delivering the letter, in his warm introduction of her to the church. In this list, it may be difficult to see what we can possibly gain from such a simple and polite part of his letter. Yet even this is a part of inspired Scripture, and there are valuable things to gain by looking into this.

First, we must believe that Paul is sincere in his greeting to fellow believers. He is not simply giving obligatory hellos, but displaying the affection he is known for throughout his letters.

We notice the list begins with Prisca, or Priscilla, and Aquila. We know that this couple was a friend of Paul and shared a few things in common with him. One was their trade, which was tent making, and the other was a fervent and active participation in the work of the Gospel which Paul had been commissioned for. Two other details catch our notice,

One was their willingness to risk their lives in service of the work. Specifically, knowing Paul’s calling, they risked their lives for his both out of love and in service to Christ’s mission through Paul.

They operated a house church in their home, opening up their private spaces as many did in the early church for meetings and fellowship.

We know very little of the rest of the names on this list. However, we see just how wide Paul influence was and the kind of things he thanked the Lord for in their lives.

Some he calls “beloved”, again showing a great affection and care for them. These were those whom Paul had become fond of for their faith and humility. They were like little children in Christ to him, and he cared for them dearly. Among these was Epaenetus, Paul’s first convert in Asia Minor who is also called “beloved”. The mother of Rufus in verse 13 is also greeted with affection as being “a mother to me as well.” In these titles, we see Paul encouraging familial affection by example. Paul is not a distant, high and lofty figure to these men and women. He is dear to them, and they to him, as much as he feels like part of their family.

Apart from this, we see Paul speaking of many of these people as fellow workers, or those who work hard. He associates and greets those who actively participate in the work of Christ. Paul saw himself as the first of Christ’s messengers and workers among the gentiles, but by no means the last. Instead of holding himself to be the only one appointed to do his work, he humbly rejoiced in the help of those who came alongside him for the same purpose.

Finally, Paul mentions his kinsmen, likely fellow Jews, and those “chosen in the Lord”, acknowledging God’s plan of election both through the Jewish people and among the Gentiles.

In these greetings, we see the kinds of people Paul considered friends and the traits he encouraged in these people. This gives us some insight into two things:

One, the kind of friends we should have. Ideally, our best friends should be at our church and definately fellow believers. Beyond this, it is good to make friends among believers who embody these and other qualities that show a deep love and commitment to Christ.

Second, the kind of encouragement we should be to our friends. While we’ve been talking about correction a lot lately in Matthew 18, we see here that more than this is needed. We should encourage the godly qualities we see in others. There is no doubt that these individuals were not perfect, and each had their own failings and struggles. Yet, Paul here encourages the grace he sees at work in them so that it may grow and prosper.

A Look at Paul’s Enemies

On the other hand, let us look at the kind of people Paul considered his enemies, both personally and to Christ and his church. These are spoken of in verses 17-20.

There are two groups of people that Paul points out should be avoided at all costs, these are those who cause divisions and those who create obstacles. We will start with the latter and move to the former.

Those who create obstacles are those who, by their lifestyle or teaching, block the gospel of true faith in Christ. Paul warned Timothy, who is with him in writing this letter, about these people in 1 Tim 6:3-6

1 Timothy 6:3–6 ESV

If anyone teaches a different doctrine and does not agree with the sound words of our Lord Jesus Christ and the teaching that accords with godliness, he is puffed up with conceit and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy craving for controversy and for quarrels about words, which produce envy, dissension, slander, evil suspicions, and constant friction among people who are depraved in mind and deprived of the truth, imagining that godliness is a means of gain. But godliness with contentment is great gain,

These are those who love to be controversial and set up new teachings that lead people away from the truth. Their teaching may deny the Gospel outright, which is what we call heresy. They seek a different Gospel which fits their own values and ideas. Or their teaching may not deny the Gospel outright, but they may teach error on some secondary issue in such a way that puts a stumbling block in people’s way to Christ by emphasizing with bold claims things that draw people away from focusing on Christ. Examples of this may be the prosperity Gospel, an error which is by itself a secondary issue until you start teaching it in such a way so as to block any desire to truly know Christ and seek wealth and health instead. This creates greed and idolatry which lead people away from salvation. The Roman Pope’s claim to apostolic authority also does this, making it so that people must believe rediculous doctrines like the bodily ascension of Mary in order to be part of Jesus’ body. These and other things lead people away from Christ and potentially to utter destruction of their souls.

The other group here are divisive people. We may see these as people who make everything a salvation issue. The Roman Catholic church is also guilty of these, as are many reformed protestant churches. You are not a real Christian unless you affirm our view of creation, end times, bible translations, baptism, election, and many other issues. Making it seem like those who disagree are second class Christians or maybe not believers at all! This is equally dangerous as it breeds schism and infighting within the church.

Paul makes it clear that it is not a simple misunderstanding, communication style, or doctrine that leads these people to be as they are. Verse 18 tells us that the reason they are like this is because they do not serve Jesus at all! Instead, they serve their own desires.

They win people over, not by true Biblical study and search for truth, but by deception, charisma, and manipulation. They deceive those who are naive and perhaps do not know any better.

Both of these groups are similar and often one becomes the other. Those who become divisive sooner or later stray into heresy, and heretics often make grand claims that only they know the truth. They go along following whatever they like, whatever permits their lifestyle, whatever encourages their own ideas, and disregard any humility before God’s Word or the historical witness of the church.

Paul ends this section with a command and a hope. The command is that they may grow in wisdom through study and prayer so that they won’t be naive and easily manipulated. The hope is that God will crush Satan, along with those who follow him by their own self-indulgence, under their feet. The truth will prevail if they remain faithful and wise.

From this also we gain good perspective into our own lives and relationships:

Look to the character of those who teach and like to speak of new ideas. Ask the Lord for wisdom to discern intentions. Both false teaching and divisiveness spring from the same well: pride. Among the theologically astute and orthodox, you are more likely to find divisive people. Among the more liberal and “free-thinking” you are more likely to find heretics. Either way, they are the same sort of person, full of themselves and empty of true grace and wisdom. In humility, search out those you listen to and if you see a pattern of these things, consider it a warning. Speak to Christians you trust about what you hear from them and let the wisdom of the Church help you as well.

As far as friendships go, look carefully at the lives of those you bring close into your life. Are they divisive and always have to be right? Do their beliefs seem to follow their own thoughts and desires rather than Scripture? Do they seem to crave controversy and debate? Do they seem to revel in the attention it brings? Do they fly quickly to the newest ideas for novelty? Do not let such people into your lives and hearts, and don’t give them your ear. Be excellent in what is good and innocent of evil. Focus your life on following Christ in service, grow in wisdom through the Spirit in prayer and the Word, and fellowship with those you see going that same direction.

Friendship in the Church: A Protected Garden

Friendship is important in the church. We are created by Christ as a New Covenant community to be a family which helps each other grow in godliness closer to Christ day by day.

In our experience in the church, we will meet various kinds of people with different gifts and abilities.

In seeking closeness with Christ, seek out those in whom you see growth in grace by their humility and committed service to Christ, while bewaring those who seem to simply puff themselves up or give opportunity to their fleshly desires.

Build up those true friends in Christ, not in correction only, but by rejoicing in the grace you see at work in them. Encourage them in it as you strive together for an eternal reward.