Six Questions That Can Make The Difference
Anger and Stress Management God's Way • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Introduction
Introduction
In our lesson last week, we considered the importance of harnessing anger's energy and making it a positive force in one's life and relationships. For us, as believers, it can be done.
26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
Today’s lesson focuses on a Biblically based procedure designed to help you be good and angry. The entire process, developed by the author, is based on stopping and asking yourself the following six questions.
What is Happening?
What is Happening?
This question is designed to help you assess the situation by accurately identifying the occasion and admitting the presence of sinful anger.
The example of when we are annoyed by situations where our plans are interrupted by someone else’s failures. In such situations what should we do? Should we pretend that we are not upset? Should we deny that it bothers us? The answer is, of course, no. In keeping with Scripture, we should put away lying and speak truth to ourselves and the Lord.
25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.
We must be honest about what is happening.
Scripture states that we are to hold back our anger.
11 A fool uttereth all his mind: But a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.
28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit Is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
Instead of losing control, God expects us to rule our spirit and not let our spirit rule us.
11 A just weight and balance are the Lord’s: All the weights of the bag are his work.
However, to rule your spirit (emotions) you must first admit to yourself and to God that you are being disturbed.
What are my thoughts about what is happening?
What are my thoughts about what is happening?
In the moment of being angry, am I seeing things God’s way or my way? The Holy Spirit says we are to bring every thought into captivity and learn to think His way.
5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; And lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, And he shall direct thy paths.
2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
1 Now I Paul myself beseech you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ, who in presence am base among you, but being absent am bold toward you:
2 But I beseech you, that I may not be bold when I am present with that confidence, wherewith I think to be bold against some, which think of us as if we walked according to the flesh.
3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:
4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)
5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
What do I want that I’m not getting, or what am I getting that I don’t want?
What do I want that I’m not getting, or what am I getting that I don’t want?
In other words, what compelling desires of mine are driving me, ruling me, demanding to be fulfilled? What compelling desires of mine are being thwarted? Am I being motivated by the love of God or the love of self? Am I being controlled by a desire to please and glorify God or a desire to please and glorify self?
5 And seekest thou great things for thyself? seek them not: for, behold, I will bring evil upon all flesh, saith the Lord: but thy life will I give unto thee for a prey in all places whither thou goest.
33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
9 Wherefore we labour, that, whether present or absent, we may be accepted of him.
20 According to my earnest expectation and my hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life, or by death.
21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
1 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
3 For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.
Typical Unbiblical Desires:
I must have respect.
I must have recognition.
I must be happy.
I must have a life that is free from pain and difficulty.
I must have my own way, and I’m not getting it.
I must have people do what I want them to.
I must be safe and secure.
I must be as important as so-and-so.
I must be the best and be treated as thought I were the best.
I must have people praise me.
Right now, what am I being tempted to do?
Right now, what am I being tempted to do?
Typical Ways People are Tempted
I’m tempted to lash out, to yell, to withdraw, to give someone a piece of my mind.
I’m tempted to pout and sulk.
I’m tempted to run away or quit.
I’m tempted to brood and fret and nurse my wounds.
I’m tempted to be irritable and to let someone know I’m annoyed.
I’m tempted to be malicious and hurt someone.
...and the list goes on.
How do my thoughts and intentions and potential response to the circumstances I’m confronting line up with Scripture?
How do my thoughts and intentions and potential response to the circumstances I’m confronting line up with Scripture?
To overcome sinful anger, you must determine what would be the godly response. Study Scripture and memorize as well as meditate on verses that delineate a Biblical, constructive response to what could an anger-facilitating circumstance. Think carefully about the kind of response that would please God.
Remember, we are transformed by the renewing of our minds.
2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;
Using Scripture correctly will help keep us from sin.
9 BETH. Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed thereto according to thy word.
11 Thy word have I hid in mine heart, That I might not sin against thee.
Thus, we must fill our minds with relevant scriptural thoughts about the way we should respond to what is happening.
What will I choose to do this time?
What will I choose to do this time?
Will I choose to obey God or self? Will I do God’s will and please him, or will I do my will and please myself?
Scripture is clear that, if you’re a real Christian, you don’t need to continue to respond to your difficulties in an angry, sinful, or destructive manner. We are in Christ and are no longer under sin’s bondage. We can choose not to allow sin to reign in our mortal bodies and obey its lusts. We are free from sin’s controlling power. Instead, we are to be slaves of righteousness. Read Romans 6:12-20. Note Ephesians 4:22-24
22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;
23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;
24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
Through the power of God’s Spirit and our faithful obedience to His Word, we be godly in our thoughts, words, and actions.
7 But refuse profane and old wives’ fables, and exercise thyself rather unto godliness.
12 Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world;
IF we, as believers, continue to allow sinful anger to dominate us rather than overcoming its ugliness, we do so because we are not choosing to use the resources that God had provided for becoming a godly person. Developing and expressing sinful anger is not something that has to continue to occur. You can choose to follow the Biblical procedure and learn new ways of handling life’s challenges. The choice is up to you.
A Practical Exercise
A Practical Exercise
Lately, I have notice some tension arising in our congregation. For example, some have expressed their dissatisfaction (anger) with families who keep their children in the worship services. On other occasions, I have noticed people becoming quite upset with other people who sincerely ask questions in our weekly Wednesday Bible study. Using those two examples let’s analyze these situations using the questions above.
What is happening?
What are some thoughts about why this happening?
What is it that they want that they feel they are not getting?
What is the temptation to do in those moments?
What is that Scripture teaches must be done in those moments?
What choice is presented whenever such events take place?
Conclusion
Conclusion
Scripture indicates that the power to change is available to all who truly believes Christ as their Savior.
13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
8 And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work:
9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
The great news is that when we allow the Holy Spirit to work in us as we obey God’s Word, He, the Holy Spirit, will helps us change sinful habits. It is through His power the deeply, ingrained sinful patters of handling life’s pressures can be replaced with godly patterns of response. We can train ourselves for the purpose of godliness. We can learn to be people whose lives are filled with the fruit of the Spirit rather than the deeds of the flesh.
Discussion
Discussion
What are the six questions that can help us to restrain and replace our sinful anger?
Share with the others one or two verses mentioned in our lesson that spoke to you.
What did you find most important, helpful, encouraging, or convicting in this lesson?
Share with the others how you will use this material in your life.
