Jesus vs. (PRE CUT)

context: Mt18 don’t cause others to stumble - or stumble yourself. Pursue the one that’s straying and bring them back rejoicing. Pursue reconciliation through grace. Give grace just as you’ve received grace. crowds following Jesus + healed.

summary: Pharisees test Jesus, (trying to get him to show his hand as strict on divorce vs. increasingly liberal context?). He affirms God’s design for a lifelong male/female uniting in marriage. They challenge with Moses “command” and he concedes Moses permitted because of hard hearts / fall, interpreting grounds narrowly as sexual immorality. The disciples feel this to be too hard, but Jesus says only some have been given the call to live single; forced to or able to for the Kingdom. Even the little children brought to Jesus for a blessing belong to the Kingdom.

outline

Intro me

If you’ve been around Hope City at all long, you’ll know our normal pattern is to work piece by piece through the bible, and this year we’ve been looking at Matthew’s gospel, his telling of the story of Jesus. One of the things I love about this as our standard operating procedure is it means we don’t get to set the agenda, pick and choose what we’d like to emphasise - and what topics we avoid.

Today we come to a section addressing a topic, frankly, I wouldn’t have chosen to speak on. But Jesus has something to say to us - so we’re going to try and listen carefully to him together. It’s a serious and sensitive topic, and it might stir things up for you. But God is good, all the time. We’re going to have a prayer team available after our gathering who you can speak to in confidence. Tell them as little or as much as you like - they’ll be glad to pray for you and with you.

We’re also going to follow our normal practice of taking questions and attempting a live response to them - but I want to say in advance: please recognise those won’t be carefully prepared responses, they’ll mostly stay at the surface level, and they’ll be far from perfect. If you want to follow up with me or anyone else afterwards to go into more depth, or just talk more privately, you’re totally welcome to do that.

That said, let’s get to it. And Alex / ??? will be reading for us from Matthew chapter 19 - that’s page 986 in our blue bibles. Matthew chapter 19. Page 986 and look for the big 19.

Matthew 19:1-15

Anyone remember “Over the Top” with Sylvester Stalone? I doubt it - not exactly a world-changing sport movie - and you’ll understand why once you know it’s focus, the sport of choice: arm wrestling. Yep a whole movie about arm wrestling. Who knew you could make such a thing? Who thought that was a good idea?

Anyhow, today’s passage is basically Jesus arm-wrestling a bunch of different opponents, one after the other. Just without the bulging muscles or sweaty bar vibe. First opponent up? at first glance, you might think “it’s those Pharisees again” - but actually I think the first opponent Jesus faces here is culture. Yep, culture.

Jesus vs. Culture

Mt 19:3 It starts with the Pharisees - and our narrator tells us they have come to test Jesus - but we have to wonder what it is about their question that’s actually a test. Why are they asking about what seems to be a very very liberal divorce policy?

Why ask this question?

Growing practice

Shammi / Hillel live question - which side are you on?

What does Jesus answer show?

Jesus is not a progressive; he’s the continuity candidate

Basic design for marriage is (and has always been) male/female, exclusive, unbreakable

obviously not the answer the disciples we’re hoping for

maybe not the answer you are looking for either

but Jesus isn’t offering pick-and-mix: take some teaching you like, put aside other teaching you don’t. It’s all or nothing with Jesus - that’s what “Lord” means: master. Jesus can only be your Lord and Saviour, or your Judge on that last day. Nothing in between.

Joined by God; mere people shouldn’t be separating these (focus on advocates?)

Why are things designed this way?

Not good to be alone

Marriage the only response to this? we’ll come back to that - but no.

Ultimately marriage is a picture of the relationship between Jesus + the church

Jesus vs. Moses

Jesus stands against culture when culture stands against God - but what about Moses?

“But Moses commanded separations” no, Moses permitted that

Because your hearts were hard - the real problem

In some limited circumstances - the real permission

It wasn’t this way from the beginning - the root of the problem

Jesus vs. Our Hearts

“it is better not to marry”

wait, Jesus just declared marriage to be God’s good design from the beginning

why do limited grounds for divorce mean it would it be better not to marry?

because the disciples think they’ll want to divorce for other reasons?

because marriages can be (and are) legitimately broken? i.e. if sexual immorality does break (some) marriages, it is better not to marry in the first place.

certainly we see and know all to well the pain, hurt, sadness and difficulty in many broken marriages.

I can see siding with the disciples: this can hurt so much; do we really need to risk it.

Jesus’ strange response

Lots of eunuchs here because single-and-ready-to-mingle wasn’t really a category for guys at the time - at least not guys over 18. Society expected you to marry and reproduce - and to do so quickly.

Eunuchs were the exception - they wouldn’t marry because they couldn’t marry and reproduce. Despised and ridiculed in that culture, particularly Jewish culture, because they couldn’t fulfil God’s command to “be fruitful and multiply” (that is, to have children)

I think Jesus is speaking about eunuchs here because they’re the main category of singles in that time and place - and if the disciples were serious and right, and it was better not to marry, there’d be a lot more singles.

So should there be a lot more singles? Let’s unpack this.

First, see that Jesus gives us three different categories of eunuch: those born that way, those made that way by other people and those choosing that way of life for the sake of the Kingdom. I think these are helpful categories as we think about singleness, too.

Sometimes we’re simply made in a way that will keep us single: not our choice, but our reality - seemingly flowing directly out of God’s design. Something we have to accept.

Sometimes it’s others around us who’ve made us that way: making singleness is the right path for us. It’s the only possible path in Jesus’ words where that limitation is very much physical - but I think we can see how wounds from others which aren’t just physical might have the same effect too, making a single life the right life for us.

Then Jesus introduces a third category - people choosing singleness for the sake of the Kingdom. Some can choose a single life for the sake of the Kingdom. And that can be a good and right thing.

That’s massively countercultural in Jesus’ day, to suggest there’s a meaningful, valued path outside of marriage. And it’s worth noticing that this can shift really far and fast - perhaps we’ll see the day in our culture where it’s hard to see marriage as a meaningful path.

Important that we see its a single life for the sake of the Kingdom that’s in view, not a single life so I have more freedom to do just the things I want to do, more resources to spend on just the things I want to. We have to be careful as we think about this to have single for the sake of the Kingdom in view, not those choosing singleness for other reasons. An analogue might be people choosing childlessness in relationships so they can spend more time and money travelling the world.

Derided by their culture, Jesus dignifies this whole category through his words

And we should notice he exemplifies this himself, too - as do John the Baptist and the apostle Paul amongst other stand outs from our bible.

But second, and we have to see this, Jesus underlines this is not for everyone. Mt19:11

Matthew 19:11 NIV

Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.

not everyone can accept this - that’s no so much in the sense of being willing to, it’s with the sense of capability or capacity: not everyone is capable of holding or containing this. A really important distinction. This is something some people are given. Not everyone. This is not a challenge we should all aspire to meet, a higher level we should all strive for. This is something God gives some the capability and capacity for.

See Jesus wraps his teaching both ends with this. “the one who can accept” - and again, that has the same sense; not willingness, but capability, capacity - “the one who can accept this should accept it.”

If this is what your are given, whether that’s by nature, by others’ wounds, or by a special gift from God, yes, you should absolutely do this. If that’s not you, is it better not to marry given marriage is a risk, given hurt and brokenness in marriage are both possibilities? Jesus doesn’t answer.

I think he does acknowledge the disciples’ recognition that marriage is hard and dangerous.

But I think he knows and sees that singleness is, too.

“It wasn’t this way from the beginning” and this all flows out of the sad truth that our hearts are hard. That’s where the wounds and the hurts and the dangers and failures all come from. Our hearts are hard.

What do we do with all this? Well it might have seemed odd to include the last few verses in our reading today about little children and blessing and Kingdom. But it happens right there and then, tied into this whole discussion on marriage and singleness.

Here’s how I think that connects: we’ve talked about who children were in that culture before, how that society thought of them. The main thing to know is they were utterly insignificant, not the centre of attention like today. Of no importance except as your future pension, the ones who would look after you when you no longer could. Worthy of no attention at all.

As we talk about marriage and singleness, maybe you think you have no issues. You’re doing fine and it’s just others who have problems? Well, no: marriage is hard - and there’s no escape in singleness either. At it’s root, and we’ve said it many times before, the problem isn’t primarily out there - it’s in here, with us, with our hard hearts. All this talk of broken marriages and difficult singleness, should leave us humbled.

And then once we’re humbled, we can truly hear Jesus’ words to those little children also as words to us: “the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these”. It’s not a Kingdom of winners and top performers, it’s Kingdom of losers and failures, a Kingdom mercy and grace. If you know that’s who you are, this can be your kingdom to, through Jesus.

Think about the wider context - were you here last week? Remember our God is the great King who hears our plea and forgives our unpayable debt - and calls us to forgive like him. Were you here two weeks ago? Remember God’s design for his Kingdom is all about reconciliation and restoration, about pursuing people, bringing them back. Were you here the week before? Remember our God is the good Shepherd who leaves the 99 to go after the one who has wandered off, the one who brings them back rejoicing. One more week back? The start of chapter 18 sees Jesus centring the little children - the little children again - “unless you change and become like little children you will never enter the Kingdom of heaven.”

What should all this talk of marriage and divorce and singleness and hard hearts do for us? Cause us to humble ourselves - like little children - “humble yourselves under God’s mighty hand - and he will lift you up.”

remember prayer team available

So what?

Jesus upholds God’s unchanging design against a changing culture

Not to make life difficult for us but because it is His good design

Marriage is intended to be a lifelong and exclusive union - Christ will never desert the church

But it is not the only path of the Kingdom, not the only pattern of life within God’s church

Singleness is a path of the Kingdom

though only for those “who can accept this” the ones to whom this word has been given.

Singleness is not easier; our hard hearts will struggle whether single or married

Improperly divorced? Married? Single? For all of us, the real problem is our hearts

Jesus isn’t just in conflict with our culture out there

he’s in conflict with our hard hearts in here

Hoping for a Jesus who always agrees with you? You’re not ready for the Lord Jesus

profoundly humbling; I’m not good, right, cool

Encouragement: the kingdom of heaven is a kingdom of mercy

Remember God’s desire is reconciliation - within the church, within a marriage

And with God himself - he goes after the 1 that wandered away, wants to bring them back

Remember last week, the servant forgiven an unpayable debt

So there’s hope for those who’ve failed the Lord’s design in marriage

See the grace of the Jesus of John 4.

And there’s hope for those who’ve failed the Lord’s design in singleness

See the grace of

So there’s hope for all with hard hearts -

all who will come to him, humble like a child

you might worry others will send you away

but Jesus wants you to come to him and be blessed

potential directions:

Perhaps this doesn’t seem very relevant to you. Please don’t tune out, though, because divorce is having a huge impact on many people around you - although fewer people are choosing to marry in the first place, still in the UK over 60% of marriages are expected to end in divorce. It would be good for you to be equipped to think biblically about it, to understand why God’s design for it is the way it is, and to think about how best to respond to the difficult and often messy realities of life.

Jesus vs Culture

There was live debate in Jesus’ day around what was right or wrong on this front in wider society - and even in the Jewish community, in theory all singing off the same hymn-sheet of the law, there were two divergent views. So you can imagine people would be wondering where Jesus stood. So why is this described as the Pharisees coming to “test” him - or tempt him; it’s the same word. The Enemy is described as the Tempter when Jesus encountered him back in chapter 4.

On the one hand you had the school of Shammi telling you that divorce was only for exceptional circumstances. On the other hand you had the school of Hillel saying you could divorce for basically anything: a wife who burnt the food; finding someone else better looking. Really! That’s pretty “modern” for two thousand years ago, right? Just not in a good way.

Now it’s important that we realise the final and full solution to the problem of being alone is not for everyone to marry. It’s for us to be in relationship with God. Marriage is not better than singleness, not the right or best destination for each person. The apostle Paul teaches there are clear advantages in singleness, in fact. And marriage, the bible tells us, does not endure into heaven - there won’t be any marriage there: Mt 22:30. Yet everything will be good - perfect in fact. For many who are married it’s hard to get our heads around how that will be good - but it will be. That not-good-ness of being alone will be gone forever because we will be with God; and we will all be His people, all together.

How has God designed marriage in the meantime? His design is for it to be exclusive and unbreakable - Gen 2:24 tells “a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh”. Marriage is designed as a permanent uniting, one deeper even than the parent/child bond, one not to be undone by humans because ultimately it’s not done by humans; God is the one doing the uniting in marriage, not us - “what God has joined together, let no one separate,” Jesus says. God has united - people should not separate it

When he says “not separate”, he’s speaking against a present, ongoing activity - perhaps more about teaching like that of Hillel, divorce for “any and every reason”; this present act of teaching was tearing marriages apart. And today those teaching “you must follow your heart” or “you need to be true to yourself” are in danger of doing the same.

Not that it cannot be separated; it should not be. The implication here is that divorce “works” even if it is unlawful.

It’s designed this way for our good - but it also reflects God’s character. You see the bible tells us marriage pictures the relationship between Christ and his church - Eph 5:22-32 - and that’s a relationship which is exclusive, and one which is unbreakable. Jesus is never unfaithful to his church - and his church must not be unfaithful to him; Jesus will never forsake his church, and his church must not forsake him.

That’s why adultery is outisde of God’s design: it distorts that picture, undermining the exclusivity of the relationship. That’s why divorce is outside of God’s design: it distorts that picture, undermining the unbreakability of the relationship.

Now it’s important we see there are many more ways we distort God’s design for relationships - Jesus speaks about even looking at someone lustfully as adultery in Mt 5:28: distorting that design, undermining the exclusivity that should be at the heart of relationship.

Breaking God’s design undermines what marriage is meant to picture but that’s not all the harm it does. Breaking God’s design never results in our good. His design flows out of his character and goodness, out of his love and care for us as his creatures - his design isn’t just right, but it’s also best for us. So there’s always harm when we break that design.

So that’s our foundation, that’s the ground we’re building up from. Marriage is good where “alone” is not - but it’s not the final solution or only option. Marriage should be exclusive and unbreakable, like the relationship between Christ and the church that it pictures. Marriage is for our good, and when we distort it, we reap harm.

...

So let’s start with God’s design for marriage in the first place. Because it is actually God’s invention. It doesn’t belong to the state - it’s not theirs to regulate or define. Marriage first enters the picture right back at the beginning, super early doors in Genesis chapter 2. Jesus tells us it’s how Adam and Eve related to each other - not just nookie there, they were married - by God, before God.

Marriage came into the world in response to the one thing that was not good in creation: it was not good for the man to be alone - Gen 2:18. That alone-ness couldn’t be addressed by any of the other creatures God had made (no matter how much you like snuggling your dog) - Adam needed somebody suitable, somebody like him.

Jesus “vs” Moses

notice the move from “a man”, a person in the abstract to “you”: “you divorce your wives” Jesus says - to these Pharisees. And why? Because of the wickedness of their wives? No because of their hardness of heart. This is no legitimate divorce, it is sin. Jesus’ Blueprint for His Kingdom of Transformed Hearts xref and remember unmerciful servant last week; even if they had been wronged, God had shown them so much grace; how could they not reflect it?

“not this way from the beginning” Jesus is not undermining Moses, calling him a late-to-the-game add-on. Remember Jesus’ comments on the ongoing validity of every detail of the law in the Sermon on the Mount? Mt 5:17 Jesus rejects the tradition of the elders when they conflict with, and are placed over, God’s law. This is not that. Jesus is reflecting on how humanity’s sin and fall has corrupted everything; this is where the hardness of heart originates. No divorce concession was needed in the Garden, before The Fall.

Matthew 5:17 NIV

“Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.

“I tell you” looks a bit like the “you have heard it said .. but I say to you” of the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus is sharpening and drawing out the deep truths within God’s great commands. Even though just a few weeks back we were looking at the trasnfiguration, so Christians know who would win if Jesus and Moses went toe to toe - “Listen to him!” says the Father solely of the Son (17:5), and he says it while Moses is present - Jesus doesn’t set him self up against or over Moses, but instead explains why God instructs Moses to give such a permission:

Moses Deut 24:1-4 regulates a situation that was happening rather than commands it “if there should be a divorce for this reason...” Jesus explains Moses permitted divorce, and gives us clarity that it is only exceptional situations which make that divorce legitimate. And here and in 1 Cor 7 where we find the two stated exceptions, both times they come after a very deliberate underlining of God’s basic intent and design for marriage: lifelong exclusive union of male and female.

Deuteronomy 24:1–4 NIV

If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.

[see last sermon on threefold division, goodness of law, God’s unchanging nature]

Jesus vs our hearts

But we live in a in a broken, fallen world. Things are not as they should be. Life doesn’t always work out as it should. And so there are some circumstances where it’s acceptable for a marraige to be broken - though not commanded as the Pharisees would have you believe; it is permitted in this case, where there is sexual immorality.

We should notice that Jesus doesn’t say it must be broken, or even that it should be broken, just that it is acceptable. The design for exclusivity in marriage has already been distorted through sexual immorality. It is then acceptable that the unbreakable could be broken - and while we can try and reason about why that’s the case, Jesus doesn’t explain further.

Where Jesus only mentions this single exception and you might think there were no others, the apostle Paul adds a second: Speaking about marriage relationships when one person from a couple becomes a believer, he encourages the believer to pursue their marriage - but accepts that the other party may choose divorce, and that what should be unbreakable has been broken: 1 Cor 7:15 declares “the brother or sister is not bound in such circumstances.” We understand this to mean the divorce is acceptable, and the believer is free to remarry. Paul clearly does not understand Jesus to have excluded the possibility of divorce on any ground other than adultery.

Rather than seeing Jesus and Paul in tension with each other, with different views on divorce, we understand this as what’s called “casuistic law” - that is, example decisions set out to illustrate a more general pattern. Teaching in the bible often takes this form rather than giving exhaustive lists - for example in Ex 21:33-34 we’re told:

Exodus 21:33–34 NIV

“If anyone uncovers a pit or digs one and fails to cover it and an ox or a donkey falls into it, the one who opened the pit must pay the owner for the loss and take the dead animal in exchange.

But you’re not off scott free if it’s a horse or sheep that falls in! That’s two illustrative examples to establish the more general pattern of responsibility. That’s obvious.

That’s how we understand the bible to be teaching on divorce. We have a general principle that marriage should be exclusive and unbreakable. We have two illustrative examples of exceptions to this in the New Testament - that’s not very many at all but it is enough to show us that circumstances exist under which divorce is acceptable, and under which remarriage is acceptable. Both begin by affirming God’s basic design for marriage as an exclusive and lifelong union.

We’re clear still that this is to be exceptional - Jesus flatly rejects the Pharisees’ suggestion that there could be divorce “for any and every reason”. But real life is messy and complicated. Each situation is unique and it would require careful listening, study, wisdom, compassion, righteousness and prayer to determine the right approach in many cases. It’s just not possible to draw up a short list of clear and hard rules.

That’s a quick summary for you of the big sweep of our understanding as leaders here on divorce and remarriage. If you’re interested or want more detail, I’d encourage you to read our policy document we’ve put together on this - you can find it in our public documents library at tinyurl.com/HopeCityPublic

Atkinson, 28, wrote, with appropriate irony, of occasions when “the Church’s blessing for second marriage is reserved only for those who are fortunate [!] enough to have had their former partner commit adultery against them.” Was Jesus that legalistic? do you have to try and get adultery committed so you can divorce? ultimately it must be a question of the heart.

This is our best understanding of it at present. We’ve tried hard to read and think carefully but we know we’re not perfect, we have biases we don’t even see and deceitful hearts we can’t fully defend against. We want to remain humble students of the bible, continuing to try and carefully discern and follow what it teaches and we stand ready to reform our position as we learn more.

As leaders in this church, it’s right you know what we believe and how we understand things. But this is one of those matters where Christians do disagree, even when trying to reason carefully from the bible. It’s important you know that you don’t have to agree with us on this to be a part of our gatherings - though we do ask you to disagree gently and gracefully. That’s particularly important in this matter since people who’ve been up close to this find the issue and their associated experiences extremely painful. I do need to say that if you want to be a part of the core of this church, you will have to be ready to abide by the policy that flows out of our understanding - even if you don’t agree with that understanding. So I do encourage you to read it and reflect on it. And if you would like to talk about anything in confidence with one of the leaders, we welcome that.

because of our hard heartedness.

“it is better not to marry” - I’ve struggled to get my head around this. What are the disciples saying here, particularly since we later learn some of them, at least, are married. Do they mean if it’s so hard to get divorced, if there are so few acceptable reasons, if it’s not that you can just walk out “for any and every reason”, then don’t bother because that marriage thing is sure to be trouble? Are the married ones regretting being stuck in marriages which they otherwise might have broken?

Or is it more that, knowing so many marriages struggle, and seeing so many around you ending in divorce, the disciples are suggesting it might be better never to try in the first place in case you fail? If you’ll forgive the Chariots of Fire quote, a bit of an “if I can’t win, I won’t run” attitude. That way of understanding the disciples, I think, helps us make more sense of Jesus’ next teaching.

I think Jesus is cautioning against a “marriage is hard so its better to be single” attitude - I think he’s saying single is hard, too. Not everyone can manage that path without stumbling either. “Not everyone can accept this word - that is, the disciples’ words: given the challenges in holding on to unity in marriage, it’d be better to avoid the whole thing.” Jesus says “not everyone can do that, either.” As Paul writes later, better to marry than burn with lust. 1 Cor 7:32-36

1 Corinthians 7:32–36 NIV

I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married.

But notice here he emphatically marks out singleness as a valid option. Jesus absolutely sees there are “those who choose to live like eunuchs [that is, boys with the boy bits cut off - i.e. people who can’t marry] for the sake of the kingdom” And in his context, in that time and place, that was a pretty radical statement. See, basically every guy got married by eighteen, and every girl shortly after puberty. In Judaism, marriage was not only praised, it was required; Singleness was something to be avoided. eunuchs were not even allowed in the temple (Deut 23:1) Marriage was the normal natural duty.

France: in Jewish society at that time the possibility of remaining celibate was not a recognized option. With the one remarkable exception of Jesus himself, there is little evidence that mainstream Judaism contemplated the possibility of a man remaining unmarried; marriage and the fathering of children was regarded as a religious duty

But Jesus is single. And John the Baptist was single. And Paul will be single. This new path Jesus is making definitely has honour and places value on singleness as well as marriage. But we have to temper this: if Jesus’ highest desire for his disciples was singleness, celibacy, then when his disciples raise the possibility “it is better not to marry,” his response would have been “absolutely! now pray for this gift” But Jesus does not say, “Seek to be one who can handle this,” for he knows the imperatives of creation. Jesus says, “Let the person who can [present participle, dynamenos] handle this, handle it,” meaning “consult yourself: can you or can you not?” No techniques are suggested, only self-examination.

[application]

But surely that would be like saying “it’s hard not to lie so I just don’t bother”

humility and repentance the path into the kingdom

The king’s design has a purpose - the good of his people; the good of his kingdom, and more - and this distortion is harming the king’s people, obstructing the king’s purpose.

I think we’d often like to have Jesus welcome people into his kingdom without this difficult step of repentance. We might like to imagine being in his kingdom doesn’t need that agreement, that alignment, around who’s actually king, who gets to call the shots. But there’s an unavoidable logic to the centrality of repentance: How could God’s kingdom include people who didn’t respect him as king? Remember God’s kingdom isn’t a patch of ground, like an eartly kingdom, a line on a map that you can be inside of or outside of arbitrarily just by where you stand; it’s the realm where he’s welcomed as king.

By definition, if you don’t - if you won’t - bow to God as king, you cannot be a part of his kingdom. You simply can’t be. So repentance, saying to God “you’re right, I was wrong; you’re king, I’m not”, has to be the path in. Does that make sense?

Perhaps you’re wondering how Jesus would respond to you? You don’t have to wonder because the bible records an encounter just like that in John 4 and from that we can see how Jesus works this out in practice, how he responds to someone who is living outside of God’s design, how he models that for us. In John 4 Jesus is in the middle of his travels and he ends up chatting to a woman while his disciples are off foraging for food. And he’s the one who starts the conversation - but as it unfolds we discover the woman is living far away from God’s design: she’s had five husbands and the man she has now is not even her husband.

What do we see here? What do we learn as Jesus interacts with her? First and foremost, he doesn’t reject her out of hand. He doesn’t say “unclean! dirty! get away from me!” - he doesn’t even just keep himself to himself, and keep the conversation at surface level. Instead he invites her into the kingdom. He offers her “living water” - that is, the Holy Spirit, who flows through every person in the Kingdom. When he meets someone who it seems has made a career out of breaking God’s unchanging design, of rejecting God as their king - or at least of living outside of it - Jesus’ first response is to invite her into the Kingdom. Not call down judgement. Or send her away.

But he does bring her situation ito the light too, after making that invitation. He knew all along she lived outside of God’s design. And what he doesn’t do is just shove it under the rug and hope it goes away. Instead it brings it out into the open - somewhat gently, but very much out in the open.

Why does he do that? Because if she’s going to enter the kingdom, he knows she will have to repent and bow to the king. You can’t be in the kingdom without bowing to the king, remember. So he shows her where she’s not bowing to the king. He gives her the opportunity to respond, to choose her response.

And it seems she does choose to respond - and rather than keeping her at a distance, on probation, she gets to take a leading role in advancing Jesus’ mission right there and then, sharing his message with a people the disciples managed to ignore while they were busy getting bread! John 4 - it’s a great read - perhaps for this afternoon

a quote I’ve used before but it’s so fitting for today. “You can’t go back and change the beginning. You can start here and change the ending”

A Kingdom welcome for singles, for children.

Extraordinary honour for life outside of marriage in context: basically everyone married; eunuchs would have been scorned, children were unimportant