I Almost Gave Up…
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Review ALL IN series. Purpose for the series: how our discipleship process is just beginning like it was for them…
14 And seeing the man who had been healed standing with them, they had nothing to say in reply.
15 But when they had ordered them to leave the Council, they began to confer with one another,
16 saying, “What shall we do with these men? For the fact that a noteworthy miracle has taken place through them is apparent to all who live in Jerusalem, and we cannot deny it.
17 “But so that it will not spread any further among the people, let us warn them to speak no longer to any man in this name.”
18 And when they had summoned them, they commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus.
Title: I Almost Gave Up…
Pray
Have you ever been in a place in your walk with God where you asked the question… Is it worth it?
I’ve heard people say, “Well, God will never give you more than you can handle…”
But, if you walk with God long enough, and go deeper than just “consumer Christianity,” there will come a point where you will look at all the pushback or the persecution or the difficulties of life and feel like Paul’s description of his time in Asia to the church in Corinth:
2 Corinthians 1:8 (NASB95)
8 … we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life;
8 For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life;
Expound on excessively, beyond our strength…
The word despaired there in the greek can mean to be in utter despair, to despair completely, to be in great difficulty or to have great doubt…
Which is exactly what Paul points out in the next verse when he says,
9 indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead;
We did not trust ourselves… We were under so much pressure that we did not think we would survive…
We didn’t think we had it in us to even keep going…
We even doubted our own intent for living…
In other words, they thought they were going to die, and were so pushed beyond what they could handle, they thought their only hope was that God could raise the dead…
That’s a pretty grim outlook…
But I thought the TV preacher told me if I would believe in Jesus, my life would be better?
But that type of preaching is exactly why when life actually happens, and pain comes along, and hurt rears its head that so many give up on their faith, because they have been taught that the reward for believing in Jesus is a happy life…
Did you know Jesus promised that if they hated Him they would hate us.?
Did you know almost all of the apostles died as martyrs for the faith?
They didn’t follow Jesus because it made their life easier…
They followed Jesus because they believed He is the only way to the Father…
He holds the words of life…
He is the resurrection and the life…
He’s not A way, He’s THE way…
Maybe we would have fewer falling away from the faith if we told them the truth about how hard this walk is…
Sometimes I feel like Paul, in such great anguish that he despairs of life itself…
But look what he says at the end of that verse…
9 indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead;
We didn’t trust in ourselves, but we trusted in God…
10 who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us,
Whether in this life or the next, we have this hope that deliverance is coming!
We set our hope on Him!
So Peter and John are there, in the center, Peter is preaching the message, but in verse 14, we find out they brought the evidence with them…
14 And seeing the man who had been healed standing with them, they had nothing to say in reply.
Let it be said that we always have evidence with us…
Either by miracle of healing or miracle of deliverance or miracle of salvation, we carry evidence with us..
We were once dead in sin, but made alive… We should be walking evidence…
But even presented with the evidence, they still valued their power and position and way of life over the truth…
15 But when they had ordered them to leave the Council, they began to confer with one another,
16 saying, “What shall we do with these men? For the fact that a noteworthy miracle has taken place through them is apparent to all who live in Jerusalem, and we cannot deny it.
17 “But so that it will not spread any further among the people, let us warn them to speak no longer to any man in this name.”
18 And when they had summoned them, they commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus.
There have only been two times in all my time in ministry that I seriously considered quitting…
Only two times I almost quit…
The first time was not long after I got saved and called into the ministry. I was traveling as an evangelist with another minister and we were in a meeting one night.
The meeting was part of a revival we were doing that was themed “SHOUT FOR GOD HAS GIVEN YOU THE CITY.”
At one point in the service, I knew God was speaking to the minister I was with to give the microphone to a young man in the pew next to me. Instead she gave it to me. When she did, I just turned and handed it straight to him without a word…
He delivered the word, the Spirit fell and we had revival…
Immediately after the service ended, with people still in the altars praying, that minister hauled me out into the lobby and gave me a stern talking to about order…
If I was going to be a minister I had to learn order… Only she wasn’t talking about order like Paul talked about order when he spoke of spiritual gifts…
She spoke of order in the sense that there was a pecking order and I needed to know who was in charge…
Her and I never did see eye to eye on that, because in my mind God is in charge…
I left that meeting heartbroken because I knew I could hear God and I knew He had spoken to me, but I was being persecuted because I did what He said rather than what was in “order”
I almost quit, because if being in the ministry meant not obeying God when He spoke, then ministry wasn’t for me…
In fact it was because of this incident and others like it that I experienced in my first few years that I swore I would never be a pastor…
If you asked me, I would tell you I wouldn’t be a pastor because there are too many politics in ministry… And I don’t mean Washington.
I almost quit…
It may not seem like a big thing to you, but in that moment, when I was just learning what it meant to follow Jesus, being confident in His voice, only to have that shut down..
I almost gave up…
Peter and John are here in this moment, just figuring out what ministry without Jesus in the flesh would look like…
They’ve had a great first run… Their confidence is at an all time high…
They have seen 3000 get saved in one day after Peter’s first sermon…
Now they have seen 5000 get saved after his second sermon, but now the religious leaders are telling them to stop..
Even when they provide evidence that what they are saying is true, they still get shut down…
It is at this point that they face a decision…
Will they quit, or will they push on?
Will they give up? I mean, this must ring as a sort of failure, they performed the miracle, they preached the sermon, but not all who heard believed…
We all face a time when we have to make this decision…
When plans don’t pan out like we wanted…
When what we thought would be the solution only deepened the problem…
When we feel like Paul when he said, “we were burdened excessively beyond our strength…”
We were pressed beyond what we could bear…
The weight was too great… The pressure too much… We wanted to give up…
I almost gave up…
It is in these moments of intense doubt… In these moments of complete despair.. When I think I must not be cut out for this…
It’s in those moments when the enemy will whisper in your ear every negative thought you’ve ever had about yourself…
You’ll think you’re not worthy and God couldn’t have chose you otherwise it wouldn’t be going like this…
BUT what I find when I read through scripture is that we are not alone in our moments of despair…
While He was on the ark, Noah started to think they would be there forever…
While He was waiting for the promised child, Abraham thought he would never come…
When Sarah found out her and Abraham were promised a child, she laughed at God…
Jacob thought he was going to die at Esau’s hand…
Joseph thought he would always be a slave or in the prison…
Moses thought He could run away when life got hard…
Israel thought they were better off dying as slaves than in the wilderness…
Rahab said their hearts melted within them…
But as I think about all these, I find out Hebrews calls them and more a “great cloud of witnesses” but only after describing them like this::
By faith Noah… by faith Abraham… by faith Sarah… By faith Jacob… By faith Joseph… By faith Moses… By faith Israel… By faith Rahab…
All these who came to the same point of decision, who doubted and despaired, who seem to have failed in their own way, but they aren’t described as a cloud of failures, but a cloud of witnesses…
Witnesses who although had doubts and failures and who could all say this: I almost gave up…
But BY FAITH!
Call Worship Team
The next night, I went back to the service and decided I would shut off my gift. If they didn’t like it there, I wouldn’t use it there…
When the service started, I sat down on the pew and didn’t say a word…
The worship leader is doing her best to lead, the pastor of the church is backing her up, but nothing was moving… it was a dead, dry service…
Just like I hoped…
See all the nights before that, we had themed it shout for God has given you the city… and the pastor would get up and read that passage from Joshua and I would take of shouting and being loud…
Because I believed God could do exactly that and I was shouting in victory for that church, not to get anyone to move, but because I believed in what we were saying…
So I would shout…
But not on this night… Not after being reprimanded for doing what God said…
So I sat.. and contemplated quitting…
I sat… and stirred… and sat… and stirred…
I don’t know how long I sat there… They only sang a couple songs so it couldn’t have been more than just a few minutes, but it felt like days…
I sat and I stirred… And the longer I sat, the worse the stirring got…
And I knew then how Jeremiah felt…
7 O Lord, You have deceived me and I was deceived;
You have overcome me and prevailed.
I have become a laughingstock all day long;
Everyone mocks me.
8 For each time I speak, I cry aloud;
I proclaim violence and destruction,
Because for me the word of the Lord has resulted
In reproach and derision all day long.
He is sitting and stirring. He could say, “I almost quit..”
In fact Jeremiah would say, “I tried to quit…”
9 But if I say, “I will not remember Him
Or speak anymore in His name,”
Then in my heart it becomes like a burning fire
Shut up in my bones;
And I am weary of holding it in,
And I cannot endure it.
If I try to stop doing what God called me to do… If I try to walk away… If I try to quit…
Then it becomes like a burning fire… SHUT UP IN MY BONES…
I JUST CAN’T HOLD IT IN! I CAN’T KEEP FROM SPEAKING…
So as I sat on my pew… Tried to quit… Tried to make a point…
Tried to be somber and reserved…
I tried to shelf it and put it away…
But the harder I tried, the more it burned….
And I sat and I stirred… and I sat and I stirred… Fire rising up in me that I cannot endure…
And the worship leader recognized something was happening… And she called my name and said, SHOUT….
And before I could think about it, or hesitate, or try and shut off the spout…
SHOUT!
I ALMOST GAVE UP, I ALMOST GAVE IN, BUT IT BECAME LIKE FIRE SHUT UP IN MY BONES!
I ALMOST QUIT, BUT THE FIRE WOULDN’T LET ME…
I ALMOST QUIT, BUT THE GLORY PERSUADED ME…
I JUST CAME THIS MORNING TO REACH OUT TO SOMEONE WHO MAY BE SITTING AND STIRRING… SITTING AND STIRRING…
I CAME TO TELL YOU SHOUT! DANCE! RAISE YOUR VOICE! SING YOUR SONG! LET THE FIRE LOOSE IN YOUR LIFE!
DON’T SHUT DOWN! DON’T QUIT! DON’T GIVE IN! DON’T GIVE UP!!!
OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND GIVE GOD THE GLORY! THE ENEMY IS DEFEATED!
THE BATTLE HAS ALREADY BEEN WON!
YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN YOU’VE BEEN BOUGHT WITH A PRICE!
19 But Peter and John answered and said to them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to give heed to you rather than to God, you be the judge;
20 for we cannot stop speaking about what we have seen and heard.”
I CAN’T STOP TALKING ABOUT IT! I CAN’T STOP PROPHECYING, I CAN’T STOP PRAISING HIS NAME!
IF I TRY IT BECOMES LIKE FIRE IN MY BONES… I CAN’T STOP!
