Household Leadership
Notes
Transcript
Handout
We must understand, the household is the trying ground for the church.
The question isn’t “whether men should be leading.” (For God is the one who created gender, and in that he has designed men to lead.)
But which ones will be leading, and how are they leading?
Before someone is allowed to be a leader in the church. Their home life must be examined.
When church’s are looking for new pastors, they will listen to them preach. Sometimes the criteria is how well they can put together a power point presentation.
As we are considering someone for eldership, looking at their home life should be first. If it’s a wreck, they shouldn’t be an elder.
As a man goes, so goes his household, as a household goes, so goes the Church; and as the Church goes, so goes society.
Household
Household
First lets talk about the household.
The household of God, and the family household are not coincidentally related, Paul here is tying the two together, not as a clever metaphor, but as a description as how both are to operate.
A household is an authority structure.
It directs it’s members towards their common good.
That good being to work together to glorify God in all that happens within the household.
This is done when the members of the household are doing the tasks which God has given them.
The husband leads.
The wife, as a faithful help meet comes along side her husband and they work together to build a culture of worship centered around God as they raise their kids and reach their neighbors.
I realize this is a generalization, but it is the generalization that is called out for in the text and therefore I’m not going to cast to broad of a net.
The authority structure being that the Father leads the family.
All fathers lead…do they lead well.
Even if a Father is absent in the life of a child, he is still teaching his kids something, it just isn’t good.
The Greek word for family, patria.
The root of patria is pater, meaning father.
This means in the Greek language, you cannot have a family, without a Father.
The language we use in the Christian faith is drawn from the household.
God the Father, only begotten son, we are heirs with Christ, A bride adorned for her husband, marriage supper of the lamb.
What we understand about our faith has the language of family built into it.
Most men, (whether you have children at home, children who are grown, or one day Lord willing you will have children) will carry the title father.
Understand that the title you have been given, is the same one which God used to relate to us. Whether you like it or not, when your children here that God is a Father, your face will flash into their minds. Do you represent God the Father well.
We will all fall short, there is no doubting that.
But when your children hear father, when you hear father, what comes to mind? Do you see God as:
absent, who made us and left.
unstable and angry. Where you never know where you stand with him.
a father who is working, concerned about everything else in the world but you.
someone who is there, but doesn’t want to deal with the drama in the world, so lets us do what we want.
We must be good, loving Fathers. So when our kids hear that God is a Father. They think of someone who is present, there for them. Who loves them even when they make mistakes, and takes time to lovingly discipline them and help them through trials.
We must take our title and position seriously, which is why those in leadership, must be mature, and have well ordered households.
Without scriptural points of reference, the father’s position of leadership within the family has been repurposed to a “buddy” or a second mommy.
A husband must have a reputation for leading his family in doing what is right. In providing for his family financially, emotionally, and spiritually.
The elders are to be instructing the church in how to behave in the household of God. v.15
This comes after they can manage their own households.
Importance of Children
Importance of Children
Becasue people don’t know what children are for, they are having fewer of them.
Children are seen as a financial burden, as a time burden.
But
When God blessed Adam and Noah, part of the blessing was to be fruitful and multiply.
Children are a blessing from the Lord.
But women all across america are cursing themselves and killing the fruit of their womb.
The womb which is a place of life has become a dungeon of pain and death.
We Christians must be the first to see the value and importance of our children.
Yes because they have inherent value being created in the image of God
But also understanding that large families are a blessing from the LORD!
Psalm 127:3-5
Psalm 127:3-5
Do you see what God is telling us through this Psalm!
Children are a blessing, and a reward.
What are children for? Children are what we wage cultural battle with.
Each child that is solid in the faith is an arrow directed at the enemy!
They will take political offices.
Lead churches
Start business
And have more kids
All for the glory of God.
But
To do this, we must be the one’s who train them. (This is part of a husband having his house in order)
Jesus said when a disciple is fully trained, he will be just like his teacher.
Who’s teaching your kids?
The teachers in the government school?
Their peers?
Youtube?
You must train your children.
People here in the church who don’t have kids anymore. You don’t realize how much influence you have in the lives of these kids.
Be a voice of encouragement and point them to Jesus.
My generation, many have been trained away from following Christ.
This is one reason our country is in the state that it is in.
Why so many of them are God haters.
We are raising the next generation.
Do you want to see this nation turn back to God?
We need train our kids in the fear and admonition of the Lord so when they grow up they have households that follow God.
We need big families, who love and serve God.
Elders are called to lead their households well because if they don’t, the next generation won’t have a church.
Godly offspring
Godly offspring
Why do we have kids?
Malachi 2:15
Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.
We have kids, to fill the world with people who glorify and worship the king of kings.
Disciplining Children
Disciplining Children
To raise our children this way, they must be disciplined.
Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Whoever neglects to discipline is saying, “I don’t care how you turn out.”
Proverbs 17:25
A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him.
I see parents who would say they love their kids…but their kids never listen, are disobedient, and you can tell that they don’t really like their kids.
This happens when a child lacks discipline.
Back to God our Father, we recognize that this is what He does!
Hebrews 12:7-8
Hebrews 12:7-8
God will discipline us!
He is a good Father! The kind that he encourages us to be.
He does it because He loves us.
(Some of the hardships we face, are trials in this life that God is using to strengthen us. Sometimes they are discipline. You need to self examine to determine which it is.)
Children who don’t get disciplined are illegitimate. That’s what the word of God says.
Why? Because they aren’t loved enough to be disciplined.
Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
When Fathers discipline, it must be in a controlled, honorable, respectful, and dignified way.
It is not the soul crushing iron fist of dad that comes down when a child is out of line.
It is to show them that what they are doing is wrong, then re-direct them to glorify God.
Who is to disciple your kids?
Father…not youth ministers, children’s ministers or pre school ministers who are charged with the duty of discipling the next generation.
“To neglect the instruction of our offspring is worse than brutish. Family religion is necessary for the nation, for the family itself, and for the church of God. Would that parents would awaken to a sense of the importance of this matter. It is a pleasant duty to talk of Jesus to our sons and daughters, and the more so becasue it has often proved to be an accepted work, for God has saved the children through the parents’ prayers and admonition.” C.H. Spurgeon
It is the Father’s duty, as the head of the household to disciple, to discipline, that they may be raised to follow God.
This is why the bible says, when looking for leaders, look at the household!
Requirement for Elders
Requirement for Elders
You notice a statement that Spurgeon had. “God saved the children through he parents’ prayers and admonition.
How often do we ponder this fact. We understand that it is God who changes the hearts and lives of our children. But God gave you the children that He is intending on saving. So that you would teach them, and raise them to be part of the people of God.
It is God who performs a miracle of regeneration. It is God who brings us and our children from being dead in our sins and trespasses, to being spiritually alive in Christ Jesus.
But while He is performing that miracle, God uses the parents who are His covenant people, to train, and instruct the children.
This is why the bible promises us:
Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Who is training your children O christian?
If you. What are you training them towards?
For we are to be training them towards holiness.
This is why it is with boldness that Paul when speaking of the qualifications of elders, says in Titus:
Titus 1:6
if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination.
Did you catch that? The children must believe.
Some see this as the children within the home.
Some see it as children who are grown up, and outside the home.
In Titus the point being made is this, is the husband taking responsibility for his family and making sure that his kids are growing up to follow God.
I spent a lot of time speaking on the children, because that is the main scope of the passage. It should also noted that an elders relationship with his wife must be in order.
Is the husband leading well.
Making decisions for the family based off of scriptural principles.
Is he giving up his hobbies, his time to ensure that his wife is doing well. That she is well taken care of.
Is he doing bible studies with her, or discussing scripture with her, in order that she might be sanctified.
Is he studying his wife, what does she like what doesn’t she like.
What does she struggle with.
A godly man, must ensure that he is leading his wife well. Cherishing her as one who’s worth is far greater than any riches here on earth.
An elder cannot care for and lead God’s church if he doesn’t know how to care for and lead his household.
“The life of religion, and the welfare and glory of both the Church and the State, depend much on family government and duty. If we suffer the neglect of this, we shall undo all.” -Richard Baxter
