Needy People

All of us long to be - I hope - life-giving people. Encourage. Inspire. Support. Often find ourselves around Relational Vampires: suck life out - feel drained, depleted, weary. Yet, we’re called to love them.

Jesus said where 2 or 3 gathered, in their midst. Could equally have said where 2 or 3 gathered, find challenging people. Church, small group, family, workplace, dorm, classroom… Everyone looking forward to Thanksgiving and that crazy relative!

So far how to love - Controlling, Critical. Today - Needy People.

Need to differentiate between needy ppl vs ppl in need.

People in need are those with legitimate needs. Lost job. House burned. Through now fault of their own they are struggling financially. In Jesus’ first sermon he quoted Isaiah 61 saying his mission was to bring good news to the poor. Ministry to people in need is essential to the gospel mission of Jesus. OT/NT shows God’s priority for 4 groups of people: foreigners (immigrants), widows, orphans, and poor. A gospel that is not good news to these people isn’t the full gospel of Jesus.

Needy people characterized by those who may have some legitimate needs but won’t take any responsibility for them. They expect/demand others to come to their rescue. Emotionally needy. They want to dominate your time. They’re often co-dependent. Their life is always filled with drama of their own making. There’s always a crisis they need help with. Whatever you do for them is never enough. They always need another loan. Fish for compliments. Manipulate your feelings. Try to make you feel guilty if they are alone.

Very complicated. Want to help. But whatever you do never feels like enough. You feel the need to pull back but feel guilty. When you help it seems like it only encourages more neediness.

How do you love the people who suck the life out of you - in a way that honors God AND actually helps them? Going to look at a story from the early days of the church. It’s not necessarily about a needy person but a person in need. But there are principles we can apply to make sure that whoever we help we do it in a way that doesn’t do more harm than good.

Pray…

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Read Acts 3:1-10

Acts 3:1–10 (NRSV)

One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the hour of prayer, at three o’clock in the afternoon. And a man lame from birth was being carried in. People would lay him daily at the gate of the temple called the Beautiful Gate so that he could ask for alms from those entering the temple. When he saw Peter and John about to go into the temple, he asked them for alms. Peter looked intently at him, as did John, and said, “Look at us.” And he fixed his attention on them, expecting to receive something from them. But Peter said, “I have no silver or gold, but what I have I give you; in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, stand up and walk.” And he took him by the right hand and raised him up; and immediately his feet and ankles were made strong. Jumping up, he stood and began to walk, and he entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God. All the people saw him walking and praising God, and they recognized him as the one who used to sit and ask for alms at the Beautiful Gate of the temple; and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

Peter and John on way to pray. See man lame from birth begging. He has legitimate need. What can we learn about helping without hurting?

Distinguish between felt needs and real needs.

See man begging. What man wants is money. That’s his felt need. In ancient times, if you couldn’t do normal work your job was begging. He needed money to buy food. It’s the need he most acutely felt.

Needy people have acute needs. Lonely - attention. Depressed - cheer up. Crisis - rescue. Broke again - borrow money. This is what they acutely feel.

Our temptation - emotional giving. Giving in to what they want. Easier. Relieves our guilt. Focus becomes what they want AND what will give us relief.

What did man want? Money. What would have been easy? Money. Toss some loose change - easy - feels good - everyone happy.

Instead “Peter looked intently at him.” Peter used his spiritual eyes to see past what the man was asking for to what he really needed. Man thought he needed money. Peter saw what he really needed was something else.

The danger of emotional giving - giving only to the felt need - is that we may miss the greater gift God wants to do in a person’s life.

Distinguish between felt needs and real needs.

Know your limitations.

Peter acknowledged his limitations - “I have no silver or gold”. Even if they did, they didn’t have enough to meet needs of every beggar at Temple.

Truth: more need than you can ever meet. That doesn’t mean you never do anything. Does mean not every problem is yours to solve. You need to know what you can legitimately do and not feel guilty to create godly boundaries.

Jesus was the most perfect, Spirit-filled person to ever walk the earth. But even he needed a break. NT records several times when he went alone or with disciples somewhere solitary to recuperate. If Jesus needed to do that, so do you.

Bottom line: You can’t say ‘yes’ when you could if you don’t say ‘no’ when you should.

Know your limitations.

Remember Jesus alone is sufficient.

When faced with man’s needs, Peter acknowledged his limitations - but then remembered what he did have. He had Jesus.

When faced with needy people, we have to remember that we are not sufficient to meet their needs. You can’t pay everyone’s bills. You can’t be everyone’s best friend. You can’t drop everything every time to go bail someone out.

Only Jesus is the all-sufficient One. Only he can address the deepest needs of their heart. Their fear, co-dependency, unwise spending habits - only Jesus can bring order to their chaos.

At some level, it becomes arrogant to think we are someone’s answer. There is only one Savior - we ain’t it. I am faced with people’s insurmountable problems almost every week - a new crisis, health scare, more money problems, relational dysfunction. People’s problems can become crushing. Feels like only two choices: carry the weight and be crushed or become calloused. Third choice - give it to Jesus.

If God needs you to fix everyone’s problems - your God is too small!

Felt vs Real

Know limitations

Jesus alone sufficient

Offer a hand up, not only a handout.

Interesting when Peter spoke a healing word over the man, didn’t go behind and try to pick him up. Neither did he make the man get up by himself. Instead, he offered the man his hand - but the man had to take it and stand. He needed to use his agency to stand.

Needy people often only want hand outs. “If you really love me you will _____”. Attention, time, money, rescue.

Loving people say, “Because I love you, I’m not giving you what you want but what you need.” I’m not going to do what you want, I’m going to do what is right. I’m not going to tell you what you want to hear, but what you lovingly need to hear.

Prodigal son: took share of inheritance, went to foreign city, blew it on sex, drugs, rock n roll. Grieved the father to see him go. But.. the father did not chase him. He didn’t go try and find him and bring him home. Allowed space for God to work in son’s life. Eventually, son came to his senses.

When dealing with needy people: maybe they need to lose that job. Maybe they need to lose the scholarship. Get reposed. Get a zero on a project. Get evicted. Sometimes the only way we learn is through pain.

Get this straight: Always rescuing people isn’t always helping them. Needy people can never learn the sufficiency of Jesus if you’re always bailing them out.

Man wanted money. Peter said I won’t give you money, but in the name of Jesus and the power of the Spirit I’ll help you stand on your own two feet.

The most loving thing we can do is empower needy people to learn to help themselves. Why? Because it gives them their dignity back. Peter could have just tossed some coins. But man would still be a beggar living in the contempt or pity of others.

One thing love about pantry - invite participants to serve. We’ve had many people over years begin helping in the back - even though they are there for food. What it says is that, they may have a financial need, but they aren’t helpless either. They aren’t just a victim. They are empowered to help others even as they are getting help themselves. It restores their God-given dignity.

To lovingly help needy people:

Distinguish between felt needs and real needs.

Know your limitations.

Remember Jesus alone is sufficient.

Offer a hand up, not only a handout.

One final thing as we lovingly help needy people...

Recognize our own neediness.

One of the things we did when first started pantry is went through training - When Helping Hurts. What stuck with me is that all of us have broken relationships. God, others, self, creation. People coming to pantry may have some creational brokenness in terms of finances. But those helping also have brokenness in how we relate to God, to others, to our own mental health, etc. The point is that we don’t have any moral high ground. People getting food and people giving food are on equal footing.

All of us are needy. Because of sin we’ve committed. Because of trauma done do us. We must be aware that we can be the needy person looking to someone else to meet our need rather than finding sufficiency in Jesus. We confuse our felt needs for real needs.

What I think I need __________. What I really need is __________.

Healing Forgive person who wronged you

Ppl stop judging Repent

Become better person Receive salvation by grace

Rescued Strengthened in faith

Jesus came to heal and restore needy people. Read Jesus sermon recorded in Luke 4.

Luke 4:18–19 ““The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.””

You may not be… but...

poor materially poor in spirit

in prison in bondage to sin/fear/shame

physically blind blind to your own faults and sin that keeps you from God

feel oppressed need deliverance from demonic forces that want to destroy your mind/body

in need need God’s favor

This is what Jesus came to give us.

Jesus is here. The power of the HS is present to bring healing, deliverance, and hope you need. But you have to appropriate it. He is reaching out his hand, but you have to take hold of it. Jesus holds out his hand and says “stand and walk”.

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Ministry...

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Communion

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*** Announcement reminders ***

I want us to close our worship time being reminded of God’s incredible love for us and the power we have through Jesus Christ. Let’s say together the early Christian hymn found in the apostle Paul’s letter to the Philippians.

Philippians 2:5–11 (NRSV)

Let the same mind be in you

that was in Christ Jesus,

who, though he was in the form of God,

did not regard equality with God

as something to be exploited,

but emptied himself,

taking the form of a slave,

being born in human likeness.

And being found in human form,

he humbled himself

and became obedient to the point of death—

even death on a cross.

Therefore God also highly exalted him

and gave him the name

that is above every name,

so that at the name of Jesus

every knee should bend,

in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

and every tongue should confess

that Jesus Christ is Lord,

to the glory of God the Father.

Now as we prepare to take this time of worship into the week ahead, the Lord who loves you reminds you that:

Philippians 4:19 NIV

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

GO BE THE CHURCH!!