Grief and Repentance

Good Morning

If you would turn in your Bibles to 2 Corinthians chapter 7. While you turn there. I want to take a moment to pray.

Our Father in Heaven

Lord of the harvest, send workers into your harvest. Send workers into your fields to plow the soil, planters to scatter the seed of the gospel, send the rain that the gospel might take root, and I pray the hearts of the people are receptive to your word. Father, send workers into your harvest. Convict us for those who do not yet know you.

Father be with our community. Show us how we might minister to them. I pray that you work in the hearts of the teachers and administrators of West Fork. In particular, this week I want to pray for:

Haley Kew

Kristi Kohler

Kemily Doob

Marrisa Mackin

Beth Martinek

I pray you both bless them and convict them. Help them to see their sin the way you see it, but encourage them to repent and turn to you where they can find forgiveness. Bless them with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. At the same time, bless them and their families as they serve our community through the teaching of children. Comfort them in their sorrows, and surround them with a community who loves and cherishes them.

Be with our church, meet us in our weakness and show us your strength. Meet us in our ignorance and foolishness, display your understanding and wisdom. May we come to know you more in your faithfulness and surpassing wisdom.

Again, we are in 2 Corinthians 7. If you have one of our sermon notebooks:

Title: “Grief and Repentance”

Big Idea: Our God will restore our fellowship and comfort the downcast.

Leading up to our passage, I just feel compelled to read the Beatitudes found in Matthew 5:3-12

Matthew 5:3–12 ESV

3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. 5 “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. 6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. 7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. 8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. 9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. 10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

No our passage:

2 Corinthians 7:5–16 (ESV) 5 For even when we came into Macedonia, our bodies had no rest, but we were afflicted at every turn—fighting without and fear within. 6 But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, 7 and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted by you, as he told us of your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced still more. 8 For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. 9 As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. 10 For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. 11 For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. 12 So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God. 13 Therefore we are comforted. And besides our own comfort, we rejoiced still more at the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all. 14 For whatever boasts I made to him about you, I was not put to shame. But just as everything we said to you was true, so also our boasting before Titus has proved true. 15 And his affection for you is even greater, as he remembers the obedience of you all, how you received him with fear and trembling. 16 I rejoice, because I have complete confidence in you.

Lets Pray: our Father, thank you for your word. Help us to know you better as we explore it this morning. Thank you for your church and its gathering. I pray your Spirit move among us this morning. I pray this most especially for me. My heart is in turmoil this morning and my stress level is high. I am weary. Help me this morning to communicate your word faithfully this morning, I can’t do it, but I know you can. May your Spirit communicate what your church needs this morning, and shape her according to your glorious will. If there are any here who do not yet know you, please work in their hearts to bring them to faith in Jesus Christ our Lord.

Big Idea: Our God will restore our fellowship and comfort the downcast.

Comforting the downcast

5 For even when we came into Macedonia, our bodies had no rest, but we were afflicted at every turn—fighting without and fear within. 6 But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, 7 and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted by you, as he told us of your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced still more.

Here in verse 5 Paul returns to talking about his trip to Macedonia and the state he was in when he went there. If you remember, we covered this several weeks ago, but Paul said this in 2 Corinthians 2:12–13, “When I came to Troas to preach the gospel of Christ, even though a door was opened for me in the Lord, my spirit was not at rest because I did not find my brother Titus there. So, I took leave of them and went on to Macedonia.” Even though a door for ministry had opened, he was uneasy in his spirit about Titus and the church in Corinth, so he moved on to Macedonia. Now, coming to our passage, in verse 5 of chapter 7, Paul seems to indicate they couldn’t seem to find rest or peace even when they reached Macedonia. They were struggling with affliction from every angle.

He describes two: fighting without and fear within.

The fighting without could be the fight against the principalities of darkness present in Macedonia. It could also be the wrestling with the rulers of that region to be able to proclaim the gospel.

At the same time, there were anxieties, fear within. Paul was human and he knew he was working against the current in his culture. He knew his enemy was seeking to destroy him and his disciples. Regardless, Paul knew he who is in him is greater than he who is in the world. Added to this was a very justified fear for the church in Corinth. He believed they were involved in something wrong and ought to repent. He had no idea how they would react to his rebuke in the letter he sent. On one level, they might take it very personally and sever the relationship. That would be very hard. Harder still would be to watch them continue to walk down the path of sin which would lead them on a path toward death. This caused anxiety in Paul, he was uneasy and couldn’t rest. He wanted them to repent and reconcile with him, but had no guarantees.

Even so, God comforts the downcast. He does this by using his children to bring comfort to his children. Titus’ return brought Paul and his team great comfort and joy. This is something else Paul has mentioned before. In 2 Corinthians 1:3–7 he said this, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.”

Paul sent Titus with a hard letter, they had received it and even as they were mourning (which we will get to), they comforted and encouraged Titus and spoke of their love and zeal for Paul. Titus returned to Paul having been comforted and encouraged by the church and spread that comfort to Paul. God comforted them all with one another. Paul began this letter with gratitude toward God because of the comfort he experienced at the coming of Titus.

Matthew 5:4 says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

As we have experienced, we all encounter various trials and difficulties. We will encounter afflictions and anxieties. Jesus tells us not to worry about tomorrow and Paul says in Philippians to “be anxious for nothing.” Yet, there are times when we worry. We struggle with fears and pains. We regret things we have done and feel shame for sins we have committed and mistakes we have made. There are times when you will regret other things you have done (lets assume it isn’t sin, but decisions in difficult situations), but given the same circumstances would likely do it again because given the information you had at the time, it was the best call to make. None of us are all knowing, we are not perfectly wise. Yet we have a God who understands all of that and will comfort those who mourn, the downcast. We can trust his sovereign will, and while we cannot understand what he is doing in a moment, when we look backward, we will see how he has been shaping and guiding us to his glory, honor, and praise.

Paul was anxious and mourned the potential loss of loved ones whom he had discipled. In time, it proved unnecessary, but he could not have known that. Yet they were all comforted by God in their sorrows. He did this by using his children to comfort his children; Corinth was downcast and was comforted by Titus. Titus was comforted by Corinth and then in turn passed it onto Paul who then sent them a letter which we are studying even now.

In this moment Church, we mourn, we do. In many ways, we are downcast. We have been grieving a loss. Without going into details, there are people who are gone who should still be here. It hurts and breaks our hearts that this is so. We have hard decisions to make and we don’t all agree on the best path forward. What do we do? We comfort one another, especially the downcast. When we are filled with the Holy Spirit of God, he uses us to comfort those who need it. To be fair, this is not something everyone is going to be good at and not everyone will be good at receiving it. Even so, we should pay attention to those around us who are in need.

For some of us this means we need to reignite some relationships we have allowed to grow cold. Perhaps others need to actively work to repair some damage. We need to care more for one another than we do for our opinions. We need to stop being so sensitive to one another and begin to relax. We cannot continue with a heightened sense of impending doom, it isn’t healthy for us (as individuals or as a church).

In the end, Paul was able to rejoice because he was comforted by people he had rebuked, who grieved because of things he had written to them. The difficulties in their relationships were not reasons to avoid caring for one another in the ways they needed. This is, at least in part, what it means to be one body in Christ.

Our God will restore our fellowship and comfort the downcast.

Godly Repentance

8 For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. 9 As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. 10 For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.

In verse 8, Paul begins to speak of what he did to the Corinthians and how he felt about it. His letter had grieved them. It was a hard and difficult thing for them to receive from Paul, it was a very public rebuke for what seemed like a church-wide affirmation of the sin of an individual within the body, something so bad even the community was appalled by it.

He wrote, “I do not regret it—though I did regret it.” It had really come to bother him as he waited on their response. How would they take it? Would this lead to a good outcome or a bad one? Paul thought he had done what was right and was worried about the consequences. He regretted the necessity of rebuking them, but he did not cause the circumstances, they did. Even so, it was not his goal to cause them pain, but to stop them from barreling on toward their own destruction.

The letter grieved them, Paul says he understands that. However, he also recognized that the grief was only for a while. I should point out, when he says “grief” in our passage, he is talking about sorrow, or to make them sorrowful. The word grief in the english speaking western culture, has taken on extra meaning Paul did not intend. He took no pleasure in their sorrow, nor did he want to diminish their pain by making light of its brevity. However, he makes a distinction between two types of grief or sorrow, appropriate to this situation.

There was a godly grief which leads to repentance and a worldly grief which leads to death. He speaks of these two as leading toward things.

Godly grief, is when we come face to face with our own sin and look to Christ with hope. We are full of sorrow because of what we have done, we understand we have done wrong and we must deal with it and its consequences. However, it also looks to Christ who offered us redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace.

In contrast, there is worldly grief or sorrow for sin, which Paul says leads toward death. This is when we become deeply ashamed when we realize we are sinners, but know no hope. It is when we look at ourselves and we do no like who we are or who we are becoming, but don’t know how to turn it around. This leads us on paths toward despair. If a person cannot find hope, it can lead him onto paths of death.

To be sure, this is not any sort of absolute rule, but something more like a proverb. It is a generalization comparing what to do when we are confronted with our sin. We can repent unto the hope of salvation or we can walk a path of darkness, despair, and death.

For the person who is walking in despair, who even begins considering taking his or her own life, there is still hope. Jesus came to seek and save those whom are lost. Repent and believe in Jesus Christ. He offers hope, if you believe, you are forgiven, period. You do not need to earn that forgiveness.

If anyone here is wrestling with the reality of his or her sin. If you are struggling with despair, if you just don’t like who you are or who you are becoming, please know there is hope to be found in Jesus Christ. This hope is that you are not alone, you do not have to do any of this alone. This hope is that you can give it all up to him. He took all of our sin upon himself and died with it on the cross. He offers us forgiveness through his blood and hope because of his resurrection. So if this is you, please know, I have been there, and I want to help you. Come talk to me, or if you aren’t comfortable with me, there are plenty of great people all around you who would like to help, talk to someone.

Instead, what we want is godly repentance when we take responsibility for what we have done, not the kind where we spend all of our time beating ourselves up to not reason or purpose. We take responsibility, but give up the weight and shame over to Jesus. There may be consequences now, but we don’t need to live with the guilt and shame anymore. Then when we face the ultimate judge we will be seen as forgiven because we belong to Jesus.

Our God will restore our fellowship and comfort the downcast.

Taking Responsibility

11 For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. 12 So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God.

The godly grief the Corinthians experienced compelled them, in all seriousness, to act. It not only lead them to repentance for the things of which they were guilty, it also led them to clear themselves when they felt they were wrongly characterized. They proceeded to clearly articulate in some way to Paul their innocence in the matter. They were willing to own their part in the conflict, but they were not going to take responsibility for things of which they had no guilt. Paul makes it clear he wasn’t writing for the sake of any individuals, but for the whole, and for their relationship to him. So long as they maintain their relationship to one another, they can work through any difficulty together.

For some, repenting is very difficult. It takes a lot to finally come to the point when he or she will admit fault. For this sort of person, it is difficult to point out their mistakes and sin because doing so comes with a sort of risk. He or she might not take it well and could even go after the speaker. For others repenting becomes a defense mechanism. “If I apologize maybe you won’t be mad at me anymore.” It will be easier if I simply take responsibility and deal with the consequences. Neither are heathy. What we see with Paul and Corinth is a willingness to repent when in the wrong, but speaking to clarify when they are not. In response, Paul does not insist on his perspective, but takes them at their word and even praises them for working to clear their name with him. They did this because his opinion of them mattered. If they maintain their relationship, they can work through this.

As we consider these things:

First, repentance is important in the life of the Christian. It is the first step in our faith. We take it in tandem with putting our faith in Jesus. We begin to put off our old self and be transformed in the spirit of our minds, and put on the new-self created in the image of Christ. It is also how we grow in sanctification. We repent of sin as we encounter it, as we fall into temptation and are made aware of it, or even when friends call us out for it. We repent, we take God’s side concerning it and nail it to the cross, putting our hope in the forgiveness given to us in Jesus Christ. Then we renew our faith. That is to say, we remember the hope we have, we do not need to walk in shame because Jesus has redeemed us.

Second, take responsibility for what you have done. Even though it is not easy, when someone points out your sin, take a genuine look at it and consider if it is true. Often it is obvious to us and the shame is quick to hit us. The biggest temptation is damage control; “If I hide, I might be able to save face.” Maybe it is control, “If I can control the narrative, I can come out of this on top.” There is no substitute to simply admitting fault when you see it. When we have done wrong, we ought to repent without trying to defend or make ourselves seem better than we are. This sort of pride will prevent us from actually overcoming our sin.

However, if you don’t see it, don’t take responsibility for what you haven’t done. This is hard for those who are inclined to appease, I’m speaking of myself. It feels easier to simply give in than to fight. This is a constant struggle for me. Someone actually point out to me this week that I apologize too much, something I have been told several times before. As I have reflected on what I was told, I think it is a defense mechanism I developed for one of my step-fathers who’s disciplinary measures, lets just say, were harsh, “If I appeased him maybe it wouldn’t be as bad this time.” I am learning, I ought to take responsibility for what I have done, not for things I haven’t done. One of the hardest points of my sanctification has been in this. It has been the breaking down unhealthy habits developed in my youth, it has been a painful sanctification.

Third, our relationships with one another matter. When we are in relationship with one another, our opinions for one another DO matter. As we talked about a couple of weeks ago, if your opinion of me doesn’t matter to me, than I have developed callouses toward you. This is not good. Neither is it good to allow people’s opinions overwhelm and rule over you, no one can live that way. When we call someone out for sin, or are called out, our goal should be to win our brother, restoring the fellowship.

Our God will restore our fellowship and comfort the downcast.

Restoring Fellowship

13 Therefore we are comforted. And besides our own comfort, we rejoiced still more at the joy of Titus, because his spirit has been refreshed by you all. 14 For whatever boasts I made to him about you, I was not put to shame. But just as everything we said to you was true, so also our boasting before Titus has proved true. 15 And his affection for you is even greater, as he remembers the obedience of you all, how you received him with fear and trembling. 16 I rejoice, because I have complete confidence in you.

Therefore, God has comforted them with the reply from Corinth. They rejoiced because Titus came back with his Spirits lifted and he was able to encourage the rest of them. Paul could take comfort in that his relationships with the church in Corinth were still intact. He could finally let some of that tension go.

In verse 14, he returns to the idea of boasting in them. Regardless of the mistakes they had made, they were still precious to him as his disciples and fellow members of the same body. He was proud of them. He looked forward to standing together before Christ and boasting of them before their common king. He was confident his pride for them wasn’t misplaced and Titus had grown in affection for them as well. Their obedience, their hospitality, and their humility only served to increase the apostle’s and Titus’ affection for them and they had complete confidence in them.

This is what I think we so often are missing in our fellowship. Paul had a genuine and significant conflict with this church. He was hurt by them and they were hurt by him. Some clarity needed to be offered, but in the end they still loved one another and were devoted to continued fellowship in the Spirit. They were genuine in their comfort for one another, they rejoiced in one another, and even boasted in one another. They weren’t trying to control one another or to win. They wanted to restore their fellowship.

What is the state of our fellowship? Are we seeking its restoration? Are we rejoicing with one another or are we building walls? What can we do to break down the barriers and begin to fellowship again? We know what we ought to do, lets get to it. It might be uncomfortable, thats ok, discomfort won’t kill you. We are reaching for something precious, that is the fellowship of the Spirit. The church in Acts 2 met together daily, sharing meals with one anther house to house. They prayed together and worked together. They went to worship together and attended to the teaching of the apostles. They faced trials, difficulties, and persecutions together. If we can attain a true fellowship of the Spirit, then surely, we can face anything together.

To do that, we need to commit to one another. We cannot rest in our relationships if we feel like they will fall apart the second we disagree or out of love and concern speak truth to one another. We get no where if there is no grace, or goodwill toward each other.

Conclusion

We have a God who comforts the downcast. He uses us to do it, are we letting him? When we are the ones who are downcast, when we are grieving because of our own sin, are we repentant with a godly repentance? Do we take responsibility for our actions, but not for the things we have not done? Are we more concerned with our fellowship with one anther than our positions, our perspective, or ambitions?

We have a God who will restore our fellowship and comfort the downcast. The part we play is in taking responsibility for our actions and repenting with a godly repentance. We do all of this in faith in our Lord Jesus Christ who has come to seek and save those whom are lost, who came not to be served, but to serve and give his life a ransom for many, to make peace.

Lets Pray: Our Father help us to know the peace of Christ which surpasses all understanding. Show us a godly repentance where we take a proper responsibility for our sin. Comfort us in our sorrow and grief. Encourage us toward faithfulness and genuine fellowship of the Spirit. Father, forgive us for where we have failed at these things. Forgive me for cheapening my own repentance for apologizing for things for which I was not responsible. Help me us all to work to restore fellowship with one another, to let go of little things and to remember that our relationships with one another matter way more than our opinions. Strengthen us by your right hand and grant us peace as we strive to run the race faithfully.