Dennis Catoe Funeral

Life Isn’t a Straight Road

Life isn’t a straight road, is it? In college, I had this fast, little sports car, and one day I wanted to impress my girlfriend. So, I took her on all of the backroads in White Plains to show her how fast I could drive it. And, I was flying down Brown Bridge Road when an elbow curve came out of nowhere, and my soul left my body.

And, that’s how life happens, isn’t it? There’s unexpected curves, curves that take the oxygen out of your lungs. That’s what we’re here coping with this afternoon. A sudden curve that has taken the very oxygen out of our lungs. That’s what Dennis (and Kelley right by his side) had been coping with for the last four years. Dennis and I became friends during that time. He’d text me when he was having a low day, or we’d talk on the phone about campers and trucks.

And, as I prepared for today, my mind went to a conversation that we had back in June. He was just so weary from trying to make around all of the curves of the last few years, and I remember he was just feeling so weak that day. So, he stopped by my office, and we turned to Philippians 4 together, and as we did that, Dennis shared with me that it was his favorite passage, and it was the passage which most filled the content of his prayers during this difficult season. So, it’s the perfect passage for us today. There’s a real sense in which I believe this is exactly what Dennis would want to share with his family and friends if he were here.

Paul’s Road Wasn’t Straight

In Philippians 4, Paul is writing from prison. He had hit one of life’s curves himself. Things were hard for him. And so, Paul is writing so that other Christians could know how joy can be durable and peace be possible through seemingly impossible circumstances.

Philippians 4:10–13 ESV

I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Paul, writing from prison, is penniless and at the mercy of his captors for as to whether he will even eat or drink. So, it’s profound when he says in verse 11, “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.” Paul is not saying that he has no needs. “Being brought low” means to live in deprivation. “Hunger” is a basic human need. He even says that he’s lived in both “abundance and need.” He has needs. But, he’s saying these needs aren’t ultimate. That is, Paul may have basic needs, but he doesn’t regard himself as a needy person. Paul is redefining our concept of “need” by saying that even in times of great physical and social need, that he has all that he really needs. His sense of neediness is not situational. He isn’t more or less because of what he has or doesn’t have. That is, he isn’t more or less secure, more or less joyful, more or less at peace because of any particular situation — good or bad — that he finds himself in. His needs and his neediness don’t define who he is.

Cancer Didn’t Define Dennis

You see, prison revealed the character of Paul’s faith. And, cancer did the same thing for Dennis. Dennis may have had cancer, but cancer wasn’t going to define him. He wasn’t going to be defined by the situation.

That day in my office Dennis was struggling with feeling like he wasn’t the man that he used to be. All of you know that if you needed help with anything that Dennis was ready, willing, and able to help. There was hardly anything that he couldn’t do, and he was a good and willing teacher, too. So, he was struggling with that when I asked him a series of questions. I asked him: “Dennis, do you pray more or less than you did before? Do you love your family better or worse than you did before? Are you more or less compassionate and thoughtful than you were before? Do you trust God more or less than you did before?” To each question, Dennis could answer honestly that he was more so. And so, what we landed on was that Dennis wasn’t lesser the man, but more the man. Cancer didn’t define Dennis; it revealed him. It drew out the character of his faith. It didn’t define him.

Dennis would not want you see yourself as being defined by today’s loss. Don’t run from it. Don’t pretend like it isn’t profound. Don’t avoid the tears. But, this loss doesn’t get to define you. Just like cancer didn’t define Dennis, today’s loss — as profound and earth-shaking as it it — doesn’t get to define the people that Dennis loved more than his own life.

Dennis Knew the Secret

And, Dennis did not let cancer define him for the same reason the Paul didn’t let his situation define him. They knew the secret. They knew the secret to contentment when life brings you low and when the curves sneak up on you. Paul frames it like this:

Philippians 4:13 ESV

I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

That is, cancer and chemo and scans and numbers didn’t define Dennis. Jesus did. His identity, his strength, his contentment came“through him,” through Christ. You see, Jesus lived in the midst of deprivation himself. Jesus died as a result of his situation. And, Jesus overcame it all through the resurrection. He proved that He is enough. And, He promised after his resurrection: “I am with you always, to the end of the age.” So, before you couldn’t face your life and be content. You couldn’t. You couldn’t face shortened life with real hope. You couldn’t face endless chemo and all of the side effects with any contentment. You couldn’t face the loss of your soul mate or your dad or your best friend with any peace. But now, you can because now you have a resource beyond yourself. So, ‘THROUGH HIM’ you can face it all. Dennis could face cancer. And, you can face this loss the same way.

That’s what Dennis believed. That’s what he would want you to believe. Dennis was as strong as any man that I’ve ever known. He was a warrior. He sacrificed for his country. He sacrificed for his family. He sacrificed for his friends. He was a force of nature when there was a need to be met that he knew that he could meet. He faced his stage 4 cancer diagnosis four years ago with the heart of a warrior. I’m not sure anyone else would’ve been able to fight it the way he did.

But, as strong as Dennis was, he knew that he wasn’t strong enough. He was convinced that the only way a person can endure with hope, joy, and peace is through the strength that comes from the risen Christ.

Dennis’ Message

I preached a message from this passage on June of 2023. The Monday after, Dennis sent me this text: “You were spot on yesterday! Philippians 4:13 has always been my montage. Especially lately. I have prayed that verse endlessly. Many times. I don’t need anything now.”

Dennis knew the secret. Dennis knew the source of strength. “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” And, I think that would be Dennis’ message to all of you today. Don’t face this in your weakness, but in Christ’s strength. Because, you see, Jesus has already overcome the deprivation of this life through his resurrection. And, his resurrection is the firstfruits of Dennis’ resurrection and our resurrection if we are in Christ. So, we can walk in the joy of knowing that Dennis is okay and so are we.