Breaking Free: Overcoming Shame

1 John 1:5-10

A few weeks each year I take a couple of days and go visit some churches here in Michigan that have Christian Schools, to try to encourage them and give them some pointers.

I do this for the curriculum company that my family uses for homeschooling, and the company I used to work for about 15 years ago.

It helps give us a little spending money each year.

From time to time I will spend the night so that I can make kind of a loop through the area and not have to drive quite so far each day.

The other day I was in a hotel, it was a nice hotel, nothing fancy, but nice and clean.

In the middle of the night I woke up suddenly, and saw out of the corner of my eye a man standing in the corner of the room.

Talk about a heart attack!

I quickly reached over to turn on the bed side lamp only for the man to disappear.

I was still a little groggy, but I knew what I saw!

But there in the light there was nothing.

After my heart rate went to near normal, I reached over and turned off the light, only to see the man reappear.

That’s when I realized that a night light over by the bathroom was causing a shadow in the corner of the room from some things I had stacked up over on the counter.

I took care of the intruder swiftly and manly, by getting up and moving the stuff off the counter.

I laughed at my own ridiculousness and went back to sleep.

Darkness can sometimes obscure what is real!

But light reveals the truth!

We have been looking at what the Bible says about a subject that we all deal with from time to time.

The subject of the Hold of Shame.

Shame has been here ever since the Garden of Eden.

God knows, like He knew then, the isolating hold shame has on us, and He desires to heal us from that hold.

But His healing comes from shining the light of truth on it.

Now as we conclude this series, we’ll see how living in God’s light entirely frees us from the hold that Shame has on us.

John wrote the epistle of 1 John to encourage believers and provide them with assurance and guidance in living in genuine fellowship with God and with each other.

In the verses before our text this morning, John encourages believers to live in harmony with one another, knowing that fellowship with God and other believers brings joy.

He knew that shame brings isolation and depression, but the fellowship that comes from walking in the light of God’s truth will bring us joy.

How can we Break Free from the Hold of Shame in our lives?

I want to look at three truths this morning that when we accept them, believe them, and live them out in our lives, we will become free from the hold of Shame.

The first truth is the truth of the...

I. Faithfulness of God’s Light

5 This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.

6 If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:

The core belief that God is always good, and that He is light, and there is no darkness in Him at all is extremely important.

Our core beliefs will determine the decisions we make.

So let’s see first of all ...

A. The Character of God’s Light

What is that light?

I know we all know it is true, He is light…He is good!

Every Christian believes this, but this truth is foundational to our help in our fight against shame.

Because God is good, His light consistently shines to reveal what is true…to expose sin and shame for what they are.

In His light we see clearly.

His light reveals the truth, just as the light from the bedside table in my hotel room revealed what was true in my room.

When the sun rises each morning we see our homes in a different light than artificial light can provide.

Every once in a while my wife will ask me if something matches.

I tend to understand colors because of working with them in computer projects, or matching colors have come easily to me, once I was taught the science behind the colors.

But sometimes when she asks me I have to see it in a different light, because I know you do not always see things truthfully in every light.’

God’s light is truth, it is the standard of light and truth and righteousness.

Just as we take things into the sun to see the true color of things, God needs to be the standard for every thing we believe.

Just as sunlight erases the shadow in a room, or reveals the true color of an object…so the truth of God reveals the true nature of our life.

God’s light is not something to fear…it is a safe place of faithfulness…a place that embodies everything that is right, where we can be seen fully and still be loved unconditionally.

So the Character of God’s light is purity, holiness, and righteous.

There is no darkness in Him at all.

So if we are walking in darkness…the light of God will reveal that in us.

His light is faithful, but then we see

B. The Falsehood of Darkness

6 If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:

Darkness lies to us, and we end up believing the lies.

Holding onto secret shame while claiming to follow Christ is a double life, creating unnecessary burdens that we are not meant to carry.

Jesus promised us, Matthew 11.30

Matthew 11:30 KJV

30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

If we are struggling under the burden of life, we are doing something wrong.

God gives us the grace, the desire and the power to do His will.

With God’s grace, we should not be struggling, like the world does.

Yes we still have tragedy, yes we still have trials, yes we still have tribulation…but we also have God’s grace to enable us to handle them.

If we are being beat down with shame, or depression, or burdens we are trying to carry, we need to stop and ask God…what am I doing wrong?

Am I trying to carry this on my own…in my own power?

Am I picking up someone else’s burden that you did not intend for me to carry?

Am I trying to do the wrong thing?

Ask Him for His help in identifying what needs to change.

But instead we end up living a life of shame...

I should be able to stop sinning like this

How can I ever get over what I did back then...

How can I ever stop this addiction...

Why am I struggling so much with depression or anxiety or both....

Why do I have so many doubts, why can’t I just have faith...

Why can’t my marriage work like other peoples...

Why can’t my kids and I get a long?...

Why can’t I get a hold of my financial problems...

Why can’t I live up to the standard that I have set for myself...

The list could go on forever!

The power of the darkness is strong, and it lies to us that we should be ashamed.

It’s exhausting to live that way!

To have to put on the mask and pretend everything is alright, just stick to the dark corners of the room, and no one will see what I’m trying to hide.

Do you remember when your kids were young, or maybe you remember doing it as a kid…do you remember those plastic Halloween masks with the elastic string that held it on.

I remember wearing those when I was a kid for a couple of hours while we were trick or treating, or at a party, and I remember the relief of taking off that mask at the end of the day.

The inside of the mask was hot and sweaty and it begins to stink in there.

That first breath of fresh air when you took the mask off was heaven.

Some of us today need to to take our masks off and take a good breath!

Reject pretending that everything is alright when you come to church!

Step out of hiding, and let us help you bear your burdens.

Bring your shame into God’s faithful light, and don’t live in the darkness any more!

God’s light is faithful!

But along those lines we see...

II. The Fellowship of Walking in the Light

7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

If we will just walk in the light…as He is in the light…we will have fellowship that will enable us to live the life God intended us to live!

It is first based upon the wonderful...

A. Promise of Cleansing

…the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

I love when you can hang your sheets or blankets out on the clothes line on a bright sunny day.

There is something about climbing into bed with those fresh sun cleansed sheets.

Why because Light cleanses…UV light in our world here triggers a reaction which destroys bacteria, algae.

When you hang out in the light, it changes your mood, it changes your health, it changes everything.

The Light of God does even more - it cleanses us from the sin which threatens to destroy us with shame.

The ongoing forgiveness that comes from the blood of Jesus Christ cleansing us from our shame that we have been carrying is life changing!

I’m mixing my metaphors a little bit here…but I remember growing up in Texas in the Summer it would be so hot…the ground sometimes during dry spells would crack and dust would start flying all around.

When you start playing outside as a kid, you would just be coated head to toe, dry and parched.

But I remember those days that it would just barely start to sprinkle a little bit, the heat would surrender to the coolness of the drops of water.

You would take a deep breath and smell the rain coming, one of the most beautiful smells in the world.

And soon it would begin to pour… as we would stand there as children letting the dust and the dryness wash off us and fall to the ground where it came from.

There was no better feeling of satisfaction or happiness than that moment.

The dust on the cars begin to wash off, the dirt on the streets start to wash away…the sidewalk chalk begin to clear up and everything becomes like new.

Going back now to the Bible’s metaphor here in Scripture, When we walk in the light, where there is no darkness at all…we fellowship with Him and with each other who are also in the light…He cleanses all the dust of sin and shame away!

We have fellowship with God, and he cleanses us…but we also have each other…the...

B. Community in the Light

7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

When we are just honest and all stand in fellowship together with the light…we find we are in the same boat!

We are all sinners…We gain true fellowship with each other.

There have been times when I have struggled with sin in my life, and began to open up to a dear friend in Christ about my struggles…I soon found they were struggling too…the fellowship that comes from that relationship is unlike any other.

It bonds us in a fellowship of trust, and a commitment to pray for each other.

A church that is honest about their sins can build trust and mutual support with each other.

But a church that pretends they have no sin, and stands in judgment and with gossip against each other…will find no relief from their own shame.

We end up all alone.

I want to invite each and everyone of you here today to participate and create a community here that supports vulnerability and growth.

This is how we will find freedom and belonging.

This is how we will grow.

God is light - in Him is no darkness at all.

Because of this, if we are going to have fellowship with Him and true fellowship with each other, we are going to have to walk in the light, be cleansed and support each other.

Many times people are more comfortable with the mask…sometimes they just dont’ know any different.

It is easier just to pretend they are all ok, there is no darkness here!

But God promises us, if we will just tell the truth, we can be free…if we can just Come into the light, join the fellowship of others who are there we will find...

III. The Freedom of Confession

8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

Confession frees the soul.

Have you ever had one of your kids, or remember a time when you were a kid, and you confessed something you had done.

The relief and freedom you experience when it’s out in the light is massive.

But if we are going to confess…we must first

A. Face the Reality of Sin

It is there, we must admit it.

8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

Sin is a part of every human’s life, but denial only deepens the shame.

Just like a wound left untreated will worsen, sin left in secret festers beneath the surface.

We need to regularly confess our sins to God, and sometimes, if we need help, to each other!

But if we do…we will see ...

B. God’s Faithful Forgiveness

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

God gives us his promise that He welcomes us back and renews our relationship with Him every time.

We get to start fresh with Him.

When we seek forgiveness, We know God is faithful to forgive us.

If we still can’t seem to let go of the shame, it may be there is another area we are keeping dark…like for instance the part where the Bible tells to go to one another and ask for forgiveness.

It may be that we have sought forgiveness from God, but not each other.

Sometimes one of the hardest things we can do is to approach another where there is an offense and bring things into the light.

It’s hard, but it is necessary for us to be free from the shame.

There may be something you have done, or it may be something that someone else has done to you…but either way the Bible tells us it is our responsibility to make things right.

Matthew 18:15 KJV

15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

If your brother has done something against you, you need to go to them and tell them their fault, and try to make it right.

But Matthew 5:23-24 says,

Matthew 5:23–24 KJV

23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; 24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

So if you remember that your brother has something against you…the Bible says it is still your responsibility to make it right.

Get freedom from following God’s plan!

Yes it’s hard, but it is worth it in the end!

Embrace God’s forgiveness, and his grace to forgive one another!

Conclusion

Walking in God’s light is the freedom from shame’s hold.

It allows us to live honestly, to enjoy fellowship with others, and to experience ongoing forgiveness.

It was a bitterly cold evening in Munich. Corrie ten Boom stood before a small church congregation, sharing her testimony of God’s forgiveness and healing. She spoke of the horrors she had endured in Ravensbrück, the Nazi concentration camp where her beloved sister, Betsie, had died. She described the relentless cruelty of the guards, the stripped humanity, the numbing cold, and the overwhelming darkness. But she also shared how God’s light had pierced even that blackest of places, filling her heart with hope, even in her darkest hours.

As she spoke, Corrie could feel the usual mixture of sorrow and gratitude that always came when she shared her story. But that night, there was something different—a presence in the room that seemed to press on her heart. She finished her talk and stood by the church doors, greeting people as they filed out, grateful for the comfort and peace she had shared with them.

Then she saw him.

Standing at the back of the room, waiting patiently as others passed, was a man she would never forget. He was older, his face softened, but there was no mistaking him. He had been one of the guards at Ravensbrück. She could see him, towering over her, barking orders, his face cold and unyielding as he watched her and the other prisoners suffer.

Her blood ran cold as her mind filled with vivid memories of pain and shame. She could feel the grip of fear and humiliation, the biting ache of the camp’s relentless dehumanization. Suddenly, the message of forgiveness she had just shared felt hollow. How could she speak of freedom and forgiveness when her heart was seething with bitterness and shame?

The man approached her, oblivious to her inner turmoil. He smiled and reached out his hand, his voice soft but unfamiliar, saying, “Thank you for your message, Fraulein. To think, as you say, that He has washed my sins away!”

Then came the words that shook her: “I was a guard at Ravensbrück.”

It was as if he had struck her, the full weight of her unresolved pain crashing down on her heart. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. She knew he didn’t recognize her, but she could hardly bear to look at him.

The man continued, explaining how, since the war, he had become a Christian. He had sought forgiveness, but he also wanted to know if he could be forgiven by someone who had suffered under him. He extended his hand again, saying, “Will you forgive me?”

In that instant, Corrie was overwhelmed with a shame of her own. How could she, a woman who had so passionately preached about forgiveness, refuse this man? But she could not will herself to lift her hand. Bitter memories, anger, and her own sense of inadequacy held her paralyzed. Inside, she cried out to God, saying, “I cannot forgive him. I don’t have that strength.”

And then, in the depths of her pain and shame, she felt God’s gentle nudge, as though He whispered, “I can.”

Summoning the courage that could only come from God, Corrie stretched out her hand. As their hands met, a warmth flooded through her, starting in her shoulder and pouring down into her hand, as though God’s grace itself flowed through her. She looked into his eyes, and in that instant, she felt her bitterness dissolve. God’s love and forgiveness were washing through her, dissolving her shame, lifting her from the depths of her own heart’s darkness.

She whispered, “I forgive you, brother, with all my heart.” And with those words, freedom filled her soul. She was no longer a captive to bitterness or shame; she was walking in the light of God’s grace.

n this moment, Corrie experienced the liberating power of bringing her deepest struggle into the light. When she stepped beyond the shame and pain, God’s grace transformed her. Her act of forgiveness wasn’t just for him—it freed her, too. Corrie’s story reminds us that when we walk in the light, acknowledging our weaknesses and opening our hearts to God’s grace, He removes our shame, fills us with peace, and grants us freedom.

As we close this series today, I want to challenge you not to let shame define your journey.

Continue to walk in the light, where there is no need for hiding, only growth, freedom and joy.