Bear With One Another

INTRODUCTION

Today marks our third week of our “One Another” series.

We looked at caring for one another and bearing one another’s burdens over the past two weeks. This week we are going to be considering what it means to bear with one another. Bearing with one another.

Our text this morning is Ephesians 4:1-6. I’d invite you to turn there with me and hear the word of the Lord. As is customary here at Pillar 29, I will be reading from the ESV.

Ephesians 4:1–6 ESV

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

Before we get to our points today, let’s briefly outline the logic of our passage.

In the first three chapters of Ephesians, Paul never once tells the Ephesians how to live. He just tells them what God has done and is doing for them.

Now, at the beginning of chapter four, he starts out with a “Therefore.”

Ephesians, because God has redeemed you and is growing you up through faith into the fullness of your salvation, Therefore, that has practical implications.

Ephesians 1-3: God works out his salvation in you

Ephesians 4:1-6 Therefore, live in light of what God has done and is doing for you and in you

It’s beautiful, isn’t it? That’s gospel logic for you. God has set you free from sin and is growing you in Christlikeness as he grows you up into the fullness of your salvation. So act like it. And don’t forget what he’s done for you and who you are in him.

Since we are considering what it means to bear with one another today, we are going to look at our text backwards. Normally we’d work through it in its logical order, but today we are going to start with the concept of bearing and look from there at the passage around it. And we’re going to do this through four main points.

Bearing means enduring wrong from others

Bearing with one another is walking worthily of our calling

Bearing with one another maintains our unity

Bearing with one another maintains our bonds of peace

1. Bearing means enduring wrong from others

Bearing with one another. What does that look like? What does that even mean?

Bear. Put up with. Tolerate. Endure. The root word is used 15 times in the New Testament, and basically none of them have positive connotations. Jesus asks in exasperation, “O faithless generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you?”

Paul uses the same word in 1 Cor 4:12 and says that when we are reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure, we bear the persecution.

And here, we see that we are to bear with one another.

The church of Jesus Christ, brothers and sisters, is filled with saints. We are called to be Christ’s people, and so we are Christ’s people.

But we’re still sinners! We haven’t finished running the race, we haven’t finished growing up, we haven’t finished walking into into the fullness of our inheritance in Jesus Christ. And in the delightful intimacy of a smaller church like ours, there are fewer filters between us. We get to know Jesus and make him known just like we get to know each other and make ourselves known in close proximity to each other.

One of the best things about churches like ours is that we become very familiar with each other. I was talking to someone a few weeks ago who had invited a friend to come worship with us and was delighted that one of his warnings was that his buddy would have a hard time slipping out without someone saying hello to him.

But in any church, small or large, if you’re living well together you’re going to become familiar with each other. It can be like taking a roadtrip where you cram everyone into the car that’s way too small and you’ve got luggage and stuff on that center armrest between the front two seats and you’re that middle person in the back seat and you have to hold your drink between your legs because there’s no cupholder and you kind of have to scrunch your shoulders in a bit because you’re touching the people next to you and you’re not loving it. Oh, and one of the people next to you has fallen asleep and is like all over you and your leg is asleep but you are trying not to move because you don’t want to wake them up and it’s been five hours since your last bathroom break.

The point is this: there are going to be opportunities to practice bearing with one another. A life of fellowship with other believers isn’t always going to be a joyful experience. Living the Christian life well, walking in a worthy manner, means that we need to bear with one another.

So how do we do this? What gives us the strength? What gives us the motivation to even want to tolerate a brother or sister in Christ who’s sinned against us, or hurt us, or maybe just breathes in a way that just drives us crazy? This bring us to our second point.

2. Bearing with one another is walking worthily of our calling

Ephesians 4:1–2 ESV

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,

Paul says that bearing with one another is what walking worthily of our calling -looks- like. Our ability and motivation to bear with one another is a result of our calling.

So what is this calling? It’s a summons by God to be united to Christ into the fullness of salvation. And just as we know that we love because he first loved us, we also bear with one another because he first bears with us. To bring that full circle, we bear with one another in love.

Christ loves us and bears with us, his people. And brothers and sisters, if you have received Christ’s love and have even an inkling of how much he bears with you, that by itself is powerful reason to love your brother and sister and bear with them when they fall short or wrong you.

And if the walk we are called to walk is growing to be more and more like Jesus as we draw nearer to our hope, then that means we’re going to think and act more like Jesus. If we’re becoming more like him, we’re going to love the people he loves and we’re going to bear with the people he bears with.

Humility, Gentleness, and Patience

In our text, Paul gives us three attributes we are to endeavor to grow in through the Spirit that are inseparable from our ability to bear with one another. Humility, gentleness, and patience.

Humility. We are to do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others as more significant than ourselves.

Gentleness. We are to be kind. Tender. Mild-mannered.

Patience. We are to accept suffering without anger.

And of course, we look to Christ to see what this looks like in action.

He did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself and became man, humbling himself by becoming obedient to the point of death on a cross.

He is gentle and lowly.

He displayed his perfect patience as an example to all who believe in him by showing mercy to Paul, who persecuted his church.

In Col 3:12-13 Paul restates this same point about bearing with one another, but adds an incentive to this Christlikeness at the end.

Colossians 3:12–13 ESV

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Did you catch that? Bearing with one another and forgiving each other because we must forgive in the same way the Lord has forgiven us?

If a brother has wronged you, you are to bear with him because the Lord Jesus Christ bears with him! If a sister has wronged you, you are to remember that while she was still a sinner, Christ died for her to reconcile her to himself, in the same way he died for you while you were a sinner to reconcile you to himself! The wrongs we do one another pale in comparison to the weight of the guilt of our sins committed against a righteous and holy God. If Christ has done this thing for us on an unimaginable scale, how can we say we are walking worthily of such a gift as this when we can’t bear with one another and forgive one another our petty grievances?

We reflect him most when we act like him most.

Bearing with one another is walking worthily of our calling.

And that brings us to the third of our four points today.

3. Bearing with one another maintains our unity

Ephesians 4:2b–6 (ESV)

bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

We see here that bearing with one another in love maintains our unity. We’re to be eager to maintain our unity as we bear with one another.

It probably goes without saying that disrupting unity can have disastrous consequences.

Fabius was the Roman general who defended Rome against Hannibal’s invasion. Both Fabius and Hannibal were military geniuses. Hannibal only had limited supplies, and needed a quick fight. Fabius knew this, and realized that he didn’t have to out-fight Hannibal to win. He just had to let him run out of supplies. Well, the citizens of Rome disagreed with this approach, so they appointed a man named Minucius, one of Fabius’s rivals, as a co-general and gave him command of half of the Roman army. Minucius immediately split his half of the army away from Fabius’s and marched headlong into a trap Hannibal had laid for him. And of course, as he springs his trap, Hannibal surrounds Minucius’s legions and it looks like it’s all over for Minucius. But Fabius came and rescued him just in the nick of time. After that, Minucius reconciled to Fabius and placed himself and his half of the army under Fabius’s command again.

Disrupting unity can have disastrous consequences for an army, and for the people of Christ. A house divided cannot stand.

Now, you might wonder about the relationship between doctrine and unity. Doctrine does matter, but we’re not talking about divergent doctrine and its relationship to unity today. This passage is explicitly looking at the relationship between our walking worthily of our calling and our unity. And within that, we are specifically looking at how bearing well with one another maintains our unity.

Our desire is to maintain and reflect what God has already done for us. He has united us himself in Christ, and to one another in Christ.

When we break unity with one another, we create a dissonance between what is true about us and how that’s reflected in our outward relationships and heart attitudes to one another.

Verses 5-6 of our text this morning are incredible. Let’s think for a moment about the unity God has called us to. The word “One” is contained in these verses seven times. Seven— the number of completion.

There is one body. That body is the church, of which Jesus Christ is the head.

There is one Spirit. God has put his seal on us and given us his Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee.

There is one hope, which is riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints—the fullness of our salvation.

There is one Lord, our redeemer, the only-begotten Son of God, Jesus Christ.

There is one Faith, that Jesus Christ is able and willing to save to the uttermost all who come to him.

There is one Baptism, one common act of faith showing our union with Christ in his death, burial, and resurrection.

There is one God and Father, who is over all and through all and in all.

Who are you, O Man? Who are you, o woman, to separate what God has joined together? Bearing with one another reflects our seven-fold unity. Bearing with one another maintains our outward unity with one another as we walk together.

And this brings us to our fourth and final point.

4. Bearing with one another maintains our bonds of peace

Ephesians 4:2–3 (ESV)

bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

As we bear with one another in love, our eagerness is to maintain the our seven-fold unity in the bond of peace. When God calls us into union with Christ and we take our first steps in faith, we are bound with the bonds of peace. Consider Matthew 11:29-30, when Christ says

Matthew 11:29–30 ESV

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

You will find rest for your souls. Being united to Christ and taking his yoke upon you is to come under the bonds of peace.

The Bonds of Peace

John Welsh was a Scottish minister who was married to Elizabeth Knox, who was a daughter of John Knox. In 1590 John Welsh accepted a call to the ministry in the town of Ayr. And in Ayr, he preached the gospel and delivered a sermon every day. But when he wasn’t preaching, John Welsh was either praying or patrolling the town of Ayr in a helmet.

Perhaps you’re wondering why John Welsh wore a helmet.

You see, the people of Ayr had so many quarrels with each other that had been going on for so long that they were all divided up into factions and you could hardly go down the street without running into an enemy who wanted to fight you. And a lot of these fights weren’t just fistfights. They were swordfights. So John Welsh wore a helmet to help protect himself from the swords, because, you see, John Welsh broke every fight he found up. He did this by throwing himself betwen the combatants, and he did this without a sword of his own, because he wanted the people to know that he came to bring peace.

And whenever he broke up a fight, John Welsh would set up a table in the middle of the road, and after opening in prayer, sit down and eat a meal with the people who had been fighting, and do his best to reconcile them to each other, and then close by singing a psalm. And the people of Ayr noticed. And they started coming to hear John Welsh preach the gospel message. John Welsh showed the town of Ayr the peace of Jesus Christ, and won them for Jesus Christ, and Jesus Christ bound the people of Ayr with the bonds of peace.

So bear with one another, brothers and sisters. Be eager to maintain the unity of the spirit, and don’t cast off the bonds of peace our Savior has bound us with.

Bearing with one another maintains our bonds of peace.

Summary and Conclusion

Let’s summarize where we’ve been as we conclude this morning.

Brothers and sisters, you’ve been called to union with Christ.

So walk a walk that is worthy of this calling.

Bear with one another in love.

Bear with one another because you’re eager to reflect the unity of the Spirit.

Bear with one another because you’re eager to maintain the bonds of peace.

Application

And for a few words of practical application.

People in the church are going to disappoint you. They’re going to irritate you. They’re going to do you wrong. It’s inevitable.

The question is, when they do, are you going to bear with them in manner worthy of your calling, or not?

When they sin against you, are you going to bear with them and maintain the unity of the Spirit, or not?

When they hurt you, are you going to maintain the bonds of peace with them, or not?

I’ve been hurt by people within the church. You’ve probably been hurt by the people within the church. If you haven’t yet, you will.

The application is very simple in theory, but it’s impossible without Jesus Christ. So, if you’re not a Christian, that’s step one. Get Christ.

And once you have Christ,

First, spend time in the word and in prayer. Learn more deeply who Jesus your savior is, and pray that you may grow into his image.

Second, when you are wronged, remember Jesus’s example, and respond in patience, gentleness, and humility, even as you bear the suffering.

Third, forgive, even as you have been forgiven. It’s a command, and it’s a powerful incentive to meditate on.

Let’s close by reading the passage in its entirety once more.

Ephesians 4:1–6 ESV

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

Let’s Pray.

Lord,

Some of us sitting here today bear deep unseen wounds and carry old scars from members of your Church. We pray that even as we have been forgiven, that you would strengthen us to forgive. And for those of us who are suffering or who have yet to suffer, help us to walk worthy of our calling, bearing with one another in love, eagerly maintaining the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace, until the day you bring us home to you.

In Jesus’s name we pray,

Amen