We Need Friends

We Need Friends

Romans 16

Paul ends the letter to the Romans with the longest list of people in all his writings. At least twenty-four people are recognized by name, others are referred to without directly giving their name. Although Paul had never been to Rome, he knew many Christians who were there.

You might wonder why so many people Paul knew were in Rome now:

Some were from there and had returned (Prisca and Aquila).

It was the place to be. Rome was exciting, growing, different.

Some went to evangelize. Perfect place to do missions.

What stands out to me is the fact that Paul had so many friends. He knew a lot of people. He was close to many of them. We’re not going to look at every single name mentioned. I’m going to give an overview of the chapter and share with you some reasons from the text that we need godly friends.

1. Our greatest need is friendship with God (25-27).

We start with doxology. Paul ends the letter by giving praise to God.

The book of Romans is written to the glory of God. In this book he tells us we are not by nature friends with God.

Romans 5:10- We were enemies with God. Through Christ God reconciled us to Himself.

God initiated this friendship. He came to us.

God revealed His plan (25-26)

“according to the revelation of the mystery that was kept secret for long ages”

Revealed partially in the Garden (Gen. 3:15)

Revealed partially to the patriarchs (Abrahamic Covenant)

Revealed partially through the prophets (Suffering Servant)

“but has now been disclosed” Christ has come!

“been made known to all nations” Jew & Gentile are being saved.

Someone might say- God is my friend and He is all I need!

God is all you need?

Do you need food?

God is all we need but He has ordained a means by which we live. We need food to live. God gives us the food.

We need friendships as well. God has ordained that.

Look at verse 25.

“Now to Him who is able to strengthen you according to my gospel and the preaching of Jeus Christ”.

All you need is God, but you needed someone to tell you about God. God strengthens us but it is often through others that He accomplishes that.

God brings you to Himself. When He does there are others there. These friends come from God. To try and live the Christian faith without godly friends is like trying to live without eating, breathing, drinking.

Our greatest need is friendship with God. When He saves us, He will bring godly people into our lives because that’s the way He ordained the Christian life to work. Paul needed friends and we do too.

2. We need friends who work for the Lord.

Let’s look at some examples of workers:

Phoebe (1)

A woman

Well off “a patron of many and myself” (2) Patron= a benefactor. She sponsored others. It means she had money, and she used it for the benefit of others.

The letter carrier. She was from Cenchrea:

About 7 miles from the church at Corinth (Paul wrote Romans from Corinth)

Notice how she is described:

A sister- her relationship to the Body of Christ. She was saved.

A servant of the church – A worker

A saint- Godly.

She could have hired someone to do this job.

She could have said “I’m a woman, this is too much for me.”

She could have said “This is too far”. It was over 750 miles to Rome by land and water.

Prisca & Aquila (3). “fellow workers”

Mary (6) “worked hard for you”

Urbanus (9) “fellow worker”

Tryphena & Tryphosa “workers” (12) Probably twin girls. Names mean delicate and dainty. Even girly girls can work hard for the Lord!

Persis (12) “Worked hard in the Lord”

Interestingly, the only one who is said to have worked especially hard is ladies. Mary (6) and Persis (12).

You ever had a broke friend that wouldn’t work? They will suck the life out of you.

Always at your house

Always wanting to go do something

Always needing to borrow something

Able bodied people who claim to know Christ but will not work for Him will suck the life out of you too. If you aren’t careful, you will become just like them. Surround yourself with people who sweat for Jesus.

3. We need friends who will suffer with us.

Prisca & Aquila (3-5)

A married Jewish couple who had been expelled along with most other Jews from Rome under the emperor Claudius (Acts 18:1-3). This was in AD 49 and the result of riots breaking out because of the Jewish Christians.

This was God’s providence. If they had not been expelled, they would not have met Paul.

They were tent makers like Paul. They allowed Paul to move in with them. They even traveled with Paul preaching. In Ephesus when the riot broke out, they risked their lives to save Paul. They put their lives in jeopardy to help Paul preach.

Andronicus & Junia (7) “fellow prisoners”

Probably a Jewish married couple

“well known to the Apostles”

“in Christ before me” They had been saved longer than Paul. They had probably been preaching longer than him. At least on one occasion they had been I prison with Paul.

Everyone suffers. Everyone does not suffer in the same way Christians do. We have burdens the world does not bear.

The world responds to suffering differently than Christians.

The world- Have a drink!

The Christian- Be sober minded.

The world- Tell them off

The Christian- forgive them.

The world- quit.

The Christian- Keep going.

The world- God doesn’t care.

The Christian- The trying of your faith works patience

We need friends who help us respond to suffering in the right way.

4. We need friends who will endure.

“Epaenetus” (5)

The first convert to Christ in Asia.

Andronicus & Junia had been saved longer than he had (7).

Romans was written in 57 AD. Paul was saved around 34 AD. So these folks had been saved well over twenty years.

Have you ever gone fishing with someone who doesn’t like to fish?

Thirty minutes pass without a bite they’re ready to go home. They don’t like fishing, they like catching fish.

Then they start complaining.

It’s hot

It’s cold

It’s boring

It’s hard

It’s hard to keep fishing if you have these folks in your boat. You’ll just give up and go home.

It is the same in the Christian life. If you surround yourself with people who don’t really love Jesus, they aren’t going to last long.

When things heat up in church they start complaining.

When things get cold in church they start complaining.

When church gets boring, they start complaining.

When church gets hard, they start complaining.

If you surround yourself with people like this, you are likely to give up.

We need friends who will endure.

When I hear testimonies of people who have been in a church for decades it blesses me. They are committed to the Lord and His church. They wouldn’t think of quitting on God.

Look at your friendships. Look at the level of their dedication.

Is it growing?

Is it getting weaker?

How are they trending?

What about you? How are you trending?

If you are surrounded by people who:

Use to go to church

Use to serve faithfully

Use to be involved

Then soon that may be true of you.

Get you some friends who are more committed to the Lord today than they were yesterday.

5. We need friends who love us.

Ampliatus (8) “my beloved in the Lord”

Stachys (9) “my beloved”

Rufus’ mother (13) “has been a mother to me” She had given him the attention and affection a mother would give her own child.

“greet one another with a holy kiss” (16) This was a custom in the early church. The men would kiss the men on the cheek, the women would kiss the women.

Five times Scripture mentions this.

(1 Cor. 16:20, 2 Cor. 13:12, 1 Thess. 5:26, 1 Peter 5:14)

A holy kiss is important because it shows deep love separated from any erotic or romantic feelings. At church we are loved by people simply because we belong to God and one another. There is no hidden motive. There is no sinful drive.

We are commanded to love one another

We are encouraged in our spirits to love one another.

The church is unique. You can be a part of other clubs and have no requirement to love the people there. In church we are required to love one another.

Have been loved by fellow Christians in a greater way than I have been loved in my own family.

More support

More prayers

More encouragement

How do you experience this?

You start loving people and they’ll love you back. Paul says he loved some and others loved him.

Some people show up a couple of times at church and then expect something. Then they get mad when they don’t get it and say, “That church doesn’t love me.”

You didn’t let yourself be loved. We’re a family not a shelter.

Illust. Folks who come and want a light bill paid, gas money, help with rent, etc. I have told several if they would get in church and get committed the people of God would help them. Almost always people who need that type of help are not involved in a local church.

The greatest relationships on earth are formed in church. Christian love each other in a way you won’t find in the world.

6. We need to watch out for false friends (17-20).

Paul says he doesn’t want them to be friends with everyone.

“I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil.” (19)

“Watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles” (17)

“Avoid them” (17)

“Divisions” They teach false doctrine that causes confusion.

Illust. Mormons befriending me when I was saved. The light came on when I realized they were tearing me away from the church.

Letter from Jehovah Witness.

They seem friendly. What they teach causes division in the Body of Christ.

“Obstacles” things that make Christians stumble. Impedes their walk with Christ.

Illust. Mean kids at school. When I was young, we’d trip one another “Did you have a nice trip?”

What would you do if you were walking down the center aisle and a person tripped you?

When someone causes you to sin that’s what they are doing. If you have a “friend” in the church that leads you into sin they are not a real friend.

One of the saddest verses in the Bible is 2 Samuel 13:3:

“Amnon had a friend”

Why is it sad?

Amnon was one of David’s sons. He had issues. He was a vile young man. He was filled with sinful desires. He had a beautiful half sister named Tamar. He thought he was in love with her.

2 Sam. 13:3 says Amnon had a friend named Jonadab. He told his friend about his desires.

What should Jonadab have done? Rebuked, reasoned.

He didn’t do that. He helped him. He gave Amnon a plan. Pretend to be sick. Tell your father you need Tamar to come and look after you. Then you’ll have her alone.

Amnon loved the idea. He followed through with it. He raped his own sister.

If only Amnon had not had a friend!

God sends some friends; the devil sends others. Watch out for false friends!

Proverbs 27:5-6 says:

Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

We need friends who will rebuke us over false doctrine and sinful living.

Do you have godly friends?

Do you have the Friend that sticks closer than a brother? Are you saved?

Are there some friends you need to cut off?

Do you need to put yourself in a position where you can make new friends?