Covenant Partners

Prayer

The Deep Friendship of David & Jonathan

We’re back in the book of 1 Samuel, taking a look at the first of the kings of Israel. Last week we saw how Saul, the current king, was falling into a world of fear and jealousy and paranoia, leading him to the first of many attempts to kill David. David, of course, is the young man anointed by God to be king. In David we saw the exact opposite of Saul - growing popularity and success all due to one thing, “the Lord was with him.”

And one of the things we referenced last week was the incredible bond of friendship that developed between David and Saul’s son, Jonathan - which is going to be our focus this morning. I want to take a look at their friendship and see what it can teach us about covenant relationships, relationships in which we willingly bind ourselves to one another. David and Jonathan are a perfect example of that. We’re going to looking at 1 Samuel 20 primarily today, but I want to take us back to 1 Samuel 18, which gives us a description of their friendship, this is right after David’s defeat of Goliath:

1 Samuel 18:1-4 - After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. 2 From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family. 3 And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. 4 Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.

So we see right away that David and Jonathan have a deep connection, they are “one in spirit,” and they love each other as God commands us to - as yourself. Many times the bonds of friendship and family have an implicit covenant, we have a sense of obligation to each other, natural aspect of friendship and family ties. But Jonathan and David make an explicit covenant with each other, and they do so out of love. Jonathan goes as far as giving to David personal items that identify him as the crown prince, the king’s son - his robe and tunic, his weapons, which is huge.

And we see more of the devotion that exists between David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel 19, as we touched on last week - after David escaped Saul with the help of his wife, Michal, Saul commanded Jonathan and his attendants to kill David. Jonathan shows his covenant love for David, “But Jonathan had taken a great liking to David and warned him.” So David went into hiding while Jonathan spoke with his father.

Jonathan reminds his father that not only has David not done him any wrong, he has benefited him greatly, especially by taking on the giant, Goliath. That battle gave the Israelites - and Saul - a great victory over the Philistines. “Why then would you do wrong to an innocent man like David by killing him for no reason?” Jonathan asks.

Saul acknowledges his wrongdoing and makes an oath that David will not be put to death. But it doesn’t take long for the attempts on David’s life to continue, which brings us to 1 Samuel 20.

We ended 1 Samuel 19 with David having fled to Ramah, where Samuel and the prophets were - and the comical scene of Saul overcome by the Spirit of God, laying there naked before Samuel, prophesying. Well David flees from there and makes his way to Jonathan, telling him that Saul is once again trying to kill him. But Jonathan can’t believe it - after all, his father made an oath to him that he wouldn’t.

So they make a plan to determine what Saul’s intentions are. The plan is this - it’s the New Moon feast, and David is supposed to dine with the king. But he’s not going to show up - and when Saul asks Jonathan about him, Jonathan is to tell his father that David had to return to Bethlehem for an annual sacrifice, which would be a legitimate excuse, family obligation.

And if Saul is OK with David’s absence, then David and Jonathan will know he’s safe. But if Saul explodes, then they will know his life is very much in danger. Whatever the outcome, Jonathan will tell David. And as they conclude their planning, we see another beautiful expression of their love and commitment towards each other:

1 Samuel 20:12-17 - Then Jonathan said to David, “I swear by the Lord, the God of Israel, that I will surely sound out my father by this time the day after tomorrow! If he is favorably disposed toward you, will I not send you word and let you know? 13 But if my father intends to harm you, may the Lord deal with Jonathan, be it ever so severely, if I do not let you know and send you away in peace. May the Lord be with you as he has been with my father. 14 But show me unfailing kindness like the Lord’s kindness as long as I live, so that I may not be killed, 15 and do not ever cut off your kindness from my family—not even when the Lord has cut off every one of David’s enemies from the face of the earth.” 16 So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, “May the Lord call David’s enemies to account.” 17 And Jonathan had David reaffirm his oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself.

So the New Moon Feast comes, and the first night, Saul doesn’t say anything about David’s absence, assuming that he must be ritually unclean and couldn’t come. But the second night, when David still isn’t there, he asks Jonathan about it and Jonathan tells him the story they concocted about David having asked permission to go to Bethlehem to share in the family’s annual sacrifice.

Saul does not take the news well: 1 Samuel 20:30-31, Saul’s anger flared up at Jonathan and he said to him, “You son of a perverse and rebellious woman! Don’t I know that you have sided with the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of the mother who bore you? 31 As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established. Now send someone to bring him to me, for he must die!”

Ouch! He really lays into Jonathan. Jonathan seeks to reason with his father again, this time it does not go well - Saul throws a spear at him! And then, the understatement of the year: “Then Jonathan knew that his father intended to kill David.” As you can imagine, Jonathan is a mix of emotions - fierce anger and deeply grieved over his father’s actions.

But his affection for David remains - he sneaks away in the morning to tell David that his father very much intends to kill him. We get their good-bye at the very end of the chapter, 1 Samuel 20:41-42 - After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most. 42 Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’” Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town.

Covenant Relationship - Shared Life Together

I hope what you’ve seen in those chapters is the beauty of this friendship - why David and Jonathan’s relationship has been such a model of what it means to be for the other over the centuries. Over and over again, in the midst of difficult circumstances - literally, life-threatening - they remain true to each other.

Jonathan’s willingness to defy his father, to disappoint him - more than that, to risk raising his ire (which is exactly what happens, more than he would have guessed), in order to support David throughout all of this. David is willing to stick with Jonathan even as he doubts David’s claim that Saul wants to take his life, and work through a plan to let Jonathan see with his own eyes his father’s anger. Over and over again we see this dynamic.

They are living out a covenant relationship. And it’s important that we get what being in a covenant relationship means, because covenant relationship is at the center of the Bible. It is THE type of relationship that God designed us for - that’s true of multiple types of relationships.

It’s true of our relationship with God. We haven’t talked about in a while, but the covenant is the relationship that God established with his people, from the very beginning of the formation of the people of God - it started with Abraham (and then continued with his descendants of Isaac and Jacob and so on). And then God renewed the covenant - and made it more explicit - when the covenant was made through Moses with the people of Israel. I will be your God and you will be my people.

The most explicit covenant relationship we enter into is, of course, our marriage relationship. Marriage is really a powerful example of covenant - to stand before God, before friends, before family - and to make those vows, to be for the other, to love them, honor them. To commit to stick together, no matter what happens in life, whether good or bad. Until death do us part.

To remember that this was God’s design - he ordained marriage, he made it as foundational to human relationships, to the bearing of children, the development of the family. It’s the foundation of healthy communities - by God’s design. It is rooted in covenant. (Over the next month and a half, we’re going to get to witness this twice in our family - and celebrate God’s goodness in this!).

It is interesting that David and Jonathan intentionally enter into a covenant relationship, as friends - in fact, they renew this covenant twice more in this story. And it gives us a model of the type of relationship God wants us to pursue one another.

Why our denomination, ECO, is built upon this premise. Our full name is Covenant Order of Evangelical Partners, rooted in a shared life together, in mutually committed relationships. Why, as a pastor, I’m obligation to be a part of a Pastoral Covenant Group - so that I’m developing relationships with other pastors in order to encourage each other, and to keep accountability.

Why, when you join the church, you do so as a covenant partner, not as a member. ECO put a whole of thought into this. The idea was to move away from the idea of a member, because that language can dilute the idea of the commitment we want as a church body. Because we use the word member in a lot of ways - member of a club, or an organization. But that’s very voluntary, it’s a lower commitment level - join when you want, be as involved as you want, quit when you want. But to be a covenant partner - I’m committed, I’m sharing in this, I have obligations (and I receive blessings).

Why one of our four core values as a church is “Shared Life Together”. It’s our way of expressing our commitment to love and care for one another, to live in committed relationships with each other. Which is exactly what we see in the relationship between Jonathan and David. And this kind of relationship - covenant relationship - means two primary things, two things that we see reflected in Proverbs 3:3-4 -

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. 4 Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.

I just happened to come across this verse in my time in the Word, and it caught my attention. Why these two things - love and faithfulness? Why are we to bind these around our neck - wear them like a necklace. Write them on the tablet of our hearts. This is the wisdom that Solomon is offering us. He’s encouraging us to make these the center of who we are, what we’re all about (that’s what he means by binding them around our neck, writing them on the tablet of our hearts).

This is certainly who God is, what he’s all about it. Over and over again in the Psalms, as these prayers ring out, in praise to God, crying out to him: Psalm 36 - Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Psalm 40 - Do not withhold your mercy from me, Lord, may your love and faithfulness always protect me. Psalm 57 - He sends from heaven and saves me, rebuking those who hotly pursue me— God sends forth his love and his faithfulness. Lots more examples.

And this is why - because love and faithfulness are the basis of relationships. They are foundational - basis of our relationship with God, our marriage relationship, our relationships with one another - our covenant partnerships. These two things - love and faithfulness.

Because love is the willingness to share of ourselves, to give of our ourselves (and to receive what the other offers). It requires us to have open hearts. We share our stories, revealing who we are. We give our attention to each other. We share our burdens - and conversely, we willingly help bear the burdens of others. We share affection with each other. In all these ways, we share our lives with each other - we love each other.

Exactly what we see in David and Jonathan - Jonathan gives David his robe, tunic, and weapons. They share affection with each. They share grief, weeping openly at their departure. David shares his burdens with Jonathan - I need your help! Jonathan readily takes it on.

This love, this willingness to share of ourselves, is fundamental to all of our relationships - with God, in our marriages, amongst our church family. Part of the beauty of the gospel is to see how readily God shares of himself through Jesus. The Incarnation, Jesus, God taking on flesh, coming to be here with us is so that he could share of himself, reveal himself to us. This is who I am! And of course, Jesus shares his very life, offering it on the cross, taking on the burden of our sin. What he asks is that we give of ourselves to him in return - share our hearts with him. We love him.

I hope that more and more, this willingness to love, to share of ourselves with each other, would be true. That we would be covenant partners. Share our burdens. Easily share affection. Share our stories, let others know us. Share what we have with others as they have need. And that all of that would be reciprocal, as it is in all true friendships.

To love each other in this way, to share of ourselves, is always a vulnerable proposition. Which is why the second aspect of relationship is so vital - faithfulness. Faithfulness is our willingness to bind ourselves to one another, to be true to the other, that commitment. Relationships require trust.

David put himself in a vulnerable position, coming to Jonathan for help, sharing his need. If Jonathan had told his father, David would have been put to death. Instead Jonathan proved to be faithful, true to David - even though it cost him a great deal to defy his father.

Likewise, it cost Jesus tremendously to be true to us. To continue to be for us even when we were against me. The cross is a humbling reminder of Jesus’ faithfulness to us. To be faithful can be costly - consider the vows we make in marriage - to be true to the other, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness or health. That’s the idea, whatever happens, I’ll be true to you. I’m committed, even if it costs me. As it often does.

This is why we, as part of ECO, focus on covenant - we want that mutual commitment, because it enables the love to flourish. Why we, as a church, have “Shared Life Together” as a core value - we’re commited to this. Because we know this is how relationships flourish. Because we know that though there may be great cost, the benefits are beautiful, they far outweigh the cost.

Why the story of Jonathan and David is so compelling - to have that kind of friendship, that level of relationship, how wonderful that is. Exactly what God invites us into - in our relationships here, in our marriages, and most of all, with him. Love and faithfulness.

Spiritual Disciplines

One thought as we close - after all, we want to put into practice what Jesus teaches us. Be a friend this week. Make a move toward greater love and faithfulness. Take a risk of sharing of yourself. Make the decision to become a covenant partner - make the commitment here. Act of kindness for something in the church.