Teaching Your Children about the Flesh and The Spirit

Times in which we have seen RAW WORLDLINESS coming out of our children.

The Girls fighting

Letting emotions take them for a ride

IN the last chapter we spoke about speaking the Gospel to our children as the saving work of God.

BUT, Tim Keller says, “The Gospel is not the ABC’s of the Christian life, it is the A to Z of the Christian life.

Not only does the Gospel need to be applied to our child’s life for the work of regeneration (NEW LIFE), but it also needs to be applied to our children’s life in their GROWTH TO BE LIKE JESUS.

DISCIPLE-MAKING PARENTS TEACH THEIR CHILDREN ABOUT THE BATTLE BTWEEN THE FLESH AND SPIRIT.

The Battle Within

For this to happen, we must understand that the enemy is indwelling sin.

I think it is often true that we don’t really understand the pervasiveness of sin.

John Piper states,

The depth and complexity and ugliness and danger of sin in professing Christians is either minimized - since we are already justified - or psychologized as a symptom of woundedness.

We look at sin in a sinful way.

What Is The Flesh?

We are all made in God’s image, BUT also have this sinful nature hostile to God.

Romans 8:7 ESV

7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot.

Galatians 5:19–21 ESV

19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Piper says of the flesh that it’s the Old Human nature that’s opposed to God.

That flesh (sinful nature) enslaves non-christians.

John 8:34 ESV

34 Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin.

As born again Christians, the Son of God sets our will free from that enslavement of sin

John 8:36 ESV

36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

Thought we are free from enslavement to the flesh, we are not freed from the presence of our flesh. It stays with us. Sin does not reign, but it does remain.

(A battle we must fight for the rest of our days on this side of glory.

Paul mentions in scripture that we have this enemy within. And he even likens it to the law almost like the law of gravity, how we cannot withdraw from this law of gravity, so as we cannot not withdraw ourselves from this sinful pull of flesh.

Romans 7:14–25 (ESV)

14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. 15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. …..21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, 23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.

Our own child’s hearts have this very same battle ground.

One in in which we must help cultivate this right understanding of their flesh and this right understanding of how to fight it by walking in the Spirit.

Romans 8:13 ESV

13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

The Flesh And My Believing Child

I really enjoy this section of this chapter. It speaks to the reason of us understanding and having this knowledge of indwelling sin in us.

What is the reason for us to have this right understanding of sin?

Basically, it will effect how I see many things of this life like myself, despair, trials & suffering, relationships, and especially our relationship with out children.

When I understand the power of indwelling sin:

I will not be shocked or overreact when my child sins. I will expect my child to sin.

I will not expect that isolation from all the "bad influences" will save him from sin. Rather I will remember that the enemy is within.

I will realize that my well-behaved child is probably wrestling with sin. Or the flesh just may be hidden for the moment.

I will not be defensive when someone tells me about sin in my child. In fact, I will rejoice that this sin is coming out now at an early age so that I can talk with him or her.

I will talk with my children about the pulls of the flesh. Walking in the light (1 John 1:7) does not mean that we never sin. It means that when we do sin, we bring it out into the light of day by telling someone else.

I will cultivate a relationship with my children in which they can confess their sin to me in an atmosphere of acceptance. I will ask them hard questions, knowing that the flesh desires to hide in the darkness.

I will seek to set up safeguards where there is a pull toward secret sin (like on the Internet) since I know the flesh is so strong. 

My child and I will join forces in defeating the flesh in our lives.

We are brothers and sisters together against a common enemy-their flesh and mine!

Since we know that sin can harden and deceive the heart (Hebrews 3:13), we will not treat any sin as a small thing. It is possible to go backwards spiritually.

When we are aware of the battle of indwelling sin, we will also become aware of the power of the Holy Spirit in helping each of us put it to death.

I will not let my guard down, knowing the flesh will be my enemy and my child's enemy until death.

The Consequences Of Not Understanding the Flesh.

In Chapter 3, we learned that one of the reasons for teenagers leaving the church was because “their faith was not working.”

It’s a possibility this was because they never had anybody teach them and show them this very normal fight against the flesh that EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US GO THROUGH. And they weren’t showed the tools to fight this flesh that we live in.

A shallow view of sin will produce a shallow view of the cross.

SIN EFFECTS EVERYTHING! Yes it affects our actions, but it also affects our attitudes and our affections.

Without a deeper view of of sin, our children may develop some unintended characteristics.

They will be hypocritical.

Matthew 23:25 ESV

25 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.

How many young people are outwardly obedient to their parents but have no inward understanding of their need for God, because of the very fact of not understanding their indwelling sin?

They will be ungrateful.

Luke 7:47 ESV

47 Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.”

Along with a sense of our inward sin, we will be able to understand JUST HOW MUCH WE HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN. THEREFORE, we will be grateful for that forgiveness, and we will in return be quick to forgive.

They will be lukewarm.

-In the Christian club, with no sense of needing to grow.

-satisfaction in their own works.

They will be self righteous.

John MacArthur wrote, “Self-righteousness consist of two deadly errors: 1. Minimizing God’s moral standards usually by emphasizing externals. 2. Underestimating the depth of one’s sinfulness.

Robert M’Cheyne said, “The greatest lack in religion of children is generally a sufficient sense of sin.”

Walking By The Spirit

BUT, THERE IS GOOD NEWS!

1 Corinthians 15:1–8 (ESV)

1 Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, 2 and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you—unless you believed in vain. 3 For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, 4 that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures, 5 and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. 6 Then he appeared to more than five hundred brothers at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have fallen asleep. 7 Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles. 8 Last of all, as to one untimely born, he appeared also to me.

Christ has given us cleansing from sin and power over sin.

The Spirit lives within us and gives us victory of sin. (Rom. 6)

He who supposes that Jesus Christ only lived and died and rose again in order to provide justification and forgiveness of sin for His people has yet much to learn. Whether he knows it or not, he is dishonoring our blessed Lord and making him only a half Savior. The Lord Jesus has undertaken everything that His people's souls require: not only to deliver them from the guilt of their sin by His atoning death, but from the dominion of their sins, by placing in their hearts the Holy Spirit; not only to justify, but also to sanctify them. He is, thus, not only their "righteousness" but their "sanctification. -R.C. Ryle

Let us not present a half Savior to our children.

Galatians 5:16 ESV

16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

A Christian is not somebody that never has sin, wrong thoughts, desires, temptations. (Show our children this)

A Christian is somebody who at times struggles with this inner battle. (Show our children this, share with them our stories)

We want to model to our children that in these times we need to be living a life by the Gospel, calling out to the Holy Spirit for the power to reveal sin & overcome this sin. Showing our children this pursuit of being more like Jesus. (Be Holy as I am Holy. )

THHIS IS LIVING BY THE SPIRIT.

Calling out to the Holy Spirit to reveal sin.

Putting off the old ways of life (The works of the flesh) (Gal. 5:19) Rejecting the flesh in all it’s forms. Living in step with the Spirit by living in obedience and holiness. Where the Spirit is present, holiness abounds.

To walk by the Spirit is to put on the new way of life (Gal. 5:22). To be led by the Spirit. To be under His control and direction. This isn’t just the absence of sin, but living in the presence of goodness, love and power.

Ephesians 4:21–24 ESV

21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

2 Corinthians 3:17–18 (ESV)

17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18 And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

Pleasing God

In this vein in talking about walking by the Spirit, seeking to please the Spirit by our living… Bettis gets at the reality that sometimes evangelicals can really over-emphasize sometimes the doctrine of justification. (FOR LACK OF BETTER WORDS).

Justification SHOULD be over emphasized in the sharing of the gospel. It is a glorious reality. On no works of our own, the righteousness of of Christ Jesus is transferred to those who believe. We are no longer seen as a wretched sinner but a righteous son and daughter of the Father.

Sometimes, children, AND ADULTS can get into this understanding that there is a “STATUS ATTAINED.” MEMBERSHIP IN A SPORTS CLUB. My debt is paid and so I can just go on coasting through this Christian life.

As we seek to fight this understanding of the Christian life within our homes and pursue this understanding that YES WE ARE JUSTIFIED! Praise God! We are adopted sons and daughters of the creator of the universe.

But just as within our homes, YES YOU ARE LEGITIMATE CHILDREN…. There is no taking that away. BUT scripture also points at this reality as sons and daughters seeking to not grieve of Father but to please Him.

Galatians 1:10 ESV

10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:9 ESV

9 So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him.

Ephesians 5:8–10 ESV

8 for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 9 (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), 10 and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.

Wired To Please

WE ARE WIRED FOR THIS

Our children are no different. Humanity has this draw to wanting to please something. Whether people think about it or not.

I can start in right now on fear of man and how often we may make decisions for the purpose of pleasing somebody else in our lives.

OUR CHILDREN TOO WILL SEEK TO LIVE TO PLEASE SOMEBODY OR SOMETHING….

God desires for the object of WORSHIP TO BE HIM.

Something we want our children to understand, is that OUR LIVES CAN BRING PLEASURE TO OUR HEAVENLY FATHER.

Spurgeon said that “The greatest joy of a Christian is to give joy to Christ.”

We can grieve of give joy to Christ.

This should be a motivation for our children to obey us.

Colossians 3:20 ESV

20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

As they grow older and or come to know Christ. We want this to be a major theme in the life of the home. Pleasing God. How can we walk by the Spirit and please our heavenly Father.

This will get us past the LEGALISTIC LIVING. And launch us into a grace filled, Gospel centered home. Let us please our Father.

Pursuing Holiness in a Home of Grace

Pursuing holiness as we walk with the Lord, teaching our believing children this put off and put on way of life, is going to be difficult! And there’s going to have to be a lot of grace in this home.

Grace teaches us to say no to ungodliness and to live Godly lives.

Titus 2:11–12 ESV

11 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, 12 training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age,

The Gospel saves us. Justifies us. Makes us in right standing before a holy God. The Gospel also sends us back to the commands and testimonies of our God to find out how to please our Heavenly Father.

Grace also means I strive for high standards by the power of the Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 15:9–10 ESV

9 For I am the least of the apostles, unworthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. 10 But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.

Grace even disciplines.

It is by the very mercy grace of God, that through redemption in Christ Jesus, He treats us as sons and daughters. Because of this, there is discipline involved in grace. Remember that discipline was a love word before it was ever a trouble word.

Conclusion

I love how Bettis finishes this chapter,

We must be careful to present the real Christian life to our children. It is a life of fighting internal heart battles. It is a life of battling sin. It includes deserts and valleys. And rather than meaning out faith isn’t working, it means it is. God trains some of his best soldier in the wilderness.

Disciple-Making parents teach their children about the battle between the flesh and the Spirit.

For Thought, Discussion, and Action

· Look over what will be true if I understand the power of indwelling sin. Which one of those are most striking? Which do you think are common in Christian parents today? Are there ones that describe you?

· How can walking in the Spirit help defeat sin and make the Christian life more authentic to our young people? For us parents?

· At the end, the author says, “We must be careful to present the real Christian life to our children. It is a life of fighting internal heart battles. It is a life of battling sin. It includes deserts and valleys. And rather than meaning out faith isn’t working, it means it is. God trains some of his best soldiers in the wilderness.” How do these words encourage you? How can you pass these thoughts on to your children?