Marriage Directives

1 Corinthians 7:1-9

1 Corinthians 7:1–9 NKJV

Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Prayer

Message

You will remember that our last time in Corinthians that Paul is sharing a message of control. You will remember that we discussed that the Libertines out of religious liberty (being saved by grace through faith and not of works) wanted to use grace as liberty to allow their appetites for food and sex to go just as that, natural given appetites to be satisfied.

1 Corinthians 6:12 “12 All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”

He addresses sexual morality and states that you become one with the one you commit sexual immorality with. You are drawn away from the Holy Union of both your spouse and your relationship with Christ because it becomes a lust or hunger for the one you succumbed to.

1 Corinthians 6:18–19 “18 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?”

Tonight, we learn that we enter a section where Paul is addressing questions that has been presented to Paul to offer Biblical counseling and directive as to how to act and function.

Tonight, we look at directives for marriage:

Prohibitions for Premarital Relations vv. 1-2

Listen to how the ESV words it:

English Standard Version Chapter 7

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”

What is Paul addressing here? Is Paul stating that sexual relations within the bounds of marriage is not good? What is Paul stating?

Is Paul advocate for asceticism or celibacy?

Colossians 2:20–21 “20 Therefore, if you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why, as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to regulations—21 “Do not touch, do not taste, do not handle,””

1 Timothy 4:3 “3 forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth.”

Look at verse 2, he defines in context what he is saying.

Sex in the Bible is described in two ways: 1) A gift, a blessing, pleasure, or procreation within the bounds of marriage. 2) Sexual immorality

A Concise Dictionary of the Words in the Greek Testament and The Hebrew Bible 4202. πορνεία

4202. πορνεία pŏrnĕia, por-ni´-ah; from 4203; harlotry (includ. adultery and incest); fig. idolatry:—fornication.

He stating in no uncertain terms that once one enters into a relationship of intimacy, the desire is heightened and the desire can lead to sexual immorality if not fulfilled in the proper context of marriage.

Oh dearly beloved, within the bounds of marriage it is a great gift.

Genesis 2:24–25 NKJV

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Proverbs 5:18–19 NKJV

18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth. 19 As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love.

I spoke a great deal and we went through Proverbs 6, 7 & 8 last week about the dangers of sex outside of marriage so I will not readdress.

Oxytocin

Firstly, in verse 1 he offers counsel to the single or widow and widower to not go that direction in a relationship until marriage because it can lead to the sin of sexual immorality.

Secondly, he guides the marriage to avoid the sin of sexual immorality.

Provision for Marital Intimacy VV. 3-5

1 Corinthians 7:3–5 NKJV

3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

In verse 3, on first pass you may read that to think that in the physical sense, both husband and wife should prioritize meeting the physical need for intimacy such that the other spouse will not be tempted into sexual immorality or adultery.

Tonight, as I consider our group at large and realize for many the dynamics of marriage has changed for some of you, I do not want to skirt around the text or to skip the text thinking this is not applicable text.

True story-not telling what town I was in and Jane can attest to this because I told her the moment I got back in the truck. I stopped to visit a fellow supplier that called on me when I was in business. We were good friends. I stopped by to visit him and Jane stayed in the truck. He shared with me, “you know I went through a divorce. No, I did not. Weren’t you married a long time? 39 years. What happened. I had an affair. Later in the conversation. How old are you? 79 years of age.

Genesis 24:67 “67 Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent; and he took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.”

I want you to understand that affection is still due your spouse. You never retire from showing affection to the other and that stands for both husband and wife.

A Concise Dictionary of the Words in the Greek Testament and The Hebrew Bible 2133. εὔνοια

2133. εὔνοια ĕunŏia, yoo´-noy-ah; from the same as 2132; kindness; euphem. conjugal duty:—benevolence, good will.

In The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, the five love languages are:

Words of Affirmation: Expressing love through spoken or written words that affirm and encourage.

Acts of Service: Showing love by doing helpful tasks, like chores or errands, that relieve burdens for the other person.

Receiving Gifts: Giving thoughtful gifts that show the person was on your mind.

Quality Time: Spending focused, uninterrupted time together, giving each other full attention.

Physical Touch: Expressing love through physical contact, such as hugs, holding hands, or cuddling.

Each person has a primary love language that makes them feel most loved, and understanding this can strengthen relationships.

Just because the marriage dynamics change over time does not mean that affection is still needed by both parties. The affection may be expressed differently, but it still needs to be expressed.

Paul addresses an authority we have over our spouses, but they have over us as well.

1 Corinthians 6:19–20 “19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

We are not our own in Christ, but we are not our own in marriage.

Genesis 2:24–25 “24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”

When we enter into marriage, outside of Christ, no other relationship ranks higher. When we are joined to her body and the two become one, later Scripture states that

Ephesians 5:22–29 NKJV

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

Paul goes on to say that we are to meet the physical, yes, but the mental, emotional and encourage the spiritual needs in our spouses.

Hebrews 13:4 “4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”

This verse affirms the purity and sanctity of sexual relations within marriage, highlighting that it is blessed by God when kept within His design.

Why did this subject need to be addressed? From two vantage points, the Corinthians were not a monochrome people. They were sexually promiscuous. They needed redirecting in understanding sex within the bounds of marriage.

What else? Others though in light of a deepening faith as expressed by Paul being single, that undoubtedly, asceticism was the answer.

Asceticism is a lifestyle characterized by abstinence from various worldly pleasures, often with the aim of pursuing spiritual or personal discipline. Ascetics may practice self-denial in areas such as food, comfort, and sexual activity, seeking to cultivate a life of simplicity and focus on spiritual or moral goals. This practice is common in many religious traditions, where it's viewed as a way to gain deeper spiritual insight, self-mastery, and closeness to the divine.

In Christianity, asceticism has roots in the early church, with figures like John the Baptist and the Apostle Paul demonstrating forms of self-discipline and restraint. While asceticism can take many forms, it often emphasizes moderation, restraint, and detachment from material possessions and physical indulgences to enhance spiritual growth or purity.

Verse 5 allows for a period of time that both parties are consenting to offer a period of time to fasting and prayer agreed upon by both parties to avoid undue temptation into sexual immorality.

Purpose of Celibacy VV. 6-9

1 Corinthians 7:6–9 NKJV

6 But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. 7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. 8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

1. Singleness as a Gift and a Calling

Paul begins in verse 8 by encouraging the unmarried and widows to remain single, as he is, suggesting that singleness can be a valuable and fulfilling lifestyle for serving God. Paul isn’t dismissing marriage here; rather, he sees singleness as an opportunity for undivided devotion to the Lord, free from some of the responsibilities that come with marriage (see also 1 Corinthians 7:32-35).

1 Corinthians 7:32–35 NKJV

32 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. 34 There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.

Emphasize that Paul frames singleness as a legitimate, honorable choice and even a blessing, countering any cultural or personal pressures that may suggest otherwise. His tone here encourages those who are unmarried not to rush into marriage but to consider the unique opportunities singleness affords for spiritual growth and ministry.

2. Marriage as a Practical Solution for Those with Strong Desires

In verse 9, Paul acknowledges human desires, particularly sexual desires, and recommends marriage for those who "cannot exercise self-control." Rather than seeing these desires as inherently wrong, Paul views marriage as a God-given outlet where sexual intimacy is safe, holy, and mutually satisfying.Here, you could discuss the practicality of Paul’s advice. He is addressing the reality of human nature and advocating for marriage as a way to avoid the pitfalls of sexual immorality. This is a reminder that God created sexual desire, and within marriage, it has a proper, blessed place.

3. Self-Control and Personal Responsibility

Paul’s words about self-control highlight an important principle for Christians: acknowledging personal limits and taking responsibility to avoid sin. Paul’s advice respects individual conscience and encourages self-awareness. He offers a solution that promotes a clear conscience and spiritual health.Explore the idea that self-control is both a personal responsibility and a spiritual virtue. Paul’s encouragement to marry if one struggles with self-control is a reminder that God’s grace meets us where we are, offering ways to live out our faith authentically.

4. A Balanced View of Singleness and Marriage

Paul doesn’t elevate singleness over marriage or vice versa; he offers a balanced view that recognizes both as gifts from God, suited to different people at different stages of life (see 1 Corinthians 7:7). Both lifestyles offer ways to glorify God and should be viewed as valid, honorable paths.This message can help believers in various stages of life to appreciate their current state—whether single or married—and to seek God’s purpose and fulfillment in it.

Conclusion

Summing up, you could encourage your audience to honor both singleness and marriage as paths that God blesses for His purposes. While singleness provides freedom for focused ministry, marriage is a divine institution designed to fulfill human needs and foster self-control. By following Paul's counsel, believers can seek God's guidance in choosing the path that leads to greater spiritual growth and joy in Him.