The Heart of a Spiritual Father

Opening

(1 Corinthians 4:14-21)

This morning we are going to finish chapter 4 of 1 Corinthians and this ends the first section of this book and in this first section, Paul is dealing with division in the church. Remember, people had their favorite preachers and that was dividing the church, and all of this division was rooted in pride. Paul wanted for them to have the right view of their ministers and so he described leaders and ministers as a servant (3:5), a farmer (3:6), God’s fellow worker (3:9), a builder (3:10), a galley slave (4:1), and a steward (4:1). Now he is going to describe a minister as a spiritual father and he is going to use himself as the example.

Now I am going to say a 100% true statement and no one can argue with me on this point. Every single one of you in here today has a father. Now your father may have passed away, but everyone has a father. Now all of our fathers are different, some of you have had great dads, some not so great. Some may have been very involved in your lives, some may have been absent. There may be some in here that do not even know your father. But regardless of your situation, all of us in here has a father. That is how God created it. Despite popular view… you have to have a male and a female to have children… it is that simple. So all of us have a father.

Now, if you are in God’s family. If you have put your faith in Jesus Christ alone for salvation, you have a couple more fathers. First off, you have a heavenly Father. God is your father. He loves you, He gave His only Son to die for you, He is with you always. I could go on and on… God is a good Father. But there is one more… if you are a child of God this morning, then you have a spiritual father. Someone led you to the Lord… someone may have taken you under their wing and discipled you.

We come to this section of 1 Corinthians and Paul is going to use himself as the example of a spiritual father. We all need one in our lives… but not just that… I want for everyone in here who is a child of God to see the importance of being a spiritual father in someone else’s life. You are looking up to someone and someone is looking up to you.

That is how it is in life. You admire someone, you look up to them, you want to be like them… that is natural. But know this… someone is looking up to you! Whether you are in your later years of life or middle aged… people are looking up to you. Those of you in your 20s-30s… there are teenagers looking up to you… Teenagers, listen up, there are a ton of kids in this room that are looking up to you! What are we all doing to help those who are looking up to us?

I submit to you this morning, that God wants His children to be spiritual leaders to those around them. God wants you to disciple someone! So what does it mean to be that person? What does it mean to be a spiritual father? Let’s look at that this morning…

I. Parental Care and Concern (14-15)

A. You Warn (14a)

I do not write these things to shame you, but as my beloved children I warn you.

A good spiritual leader warns those who they are leading. Now Paul was not being hard in his correction in order to shame the Corinthians. They had much to be ashamed of, and if they took Paul’s words to heart they could not have helped being ashamed. But it wasn’t his purpose to shame them. He would leave that to their own consciences. His purpose was to warn them, to exhort them, plead with them to repent and correct their ways.

Look at parenting. It is possible for we as parents to correct our kids in a way that tears them down rather than build them up.

Ephesians 6:4 NKJV

And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

In the name of discipline, even Christian discipline, children can be provoked and abused in ways that leave permanent scars. They are often put down with criticism and punishment but seldom lifted up with admonition and encouragement.

In the Greek, to warn literally means “to put in mind.” It has the purpose of warning and reproving. It knows that something is wrong and its intention is to correct and to make right. Its purpose is to bring about change - in belief, attitude, habit, life-style, or in whatever way is needed. In fact, it is a warning to change or incur judgment.

Look at our parenting… How many times to we warn or kids? Hey, if you do this, then this will happen. Son, if you fall out of that tree, you will break your neck. If you run out into the road, you will get hit by a car. If you do not obey, you will be disciplined! There is a lot of warning in the early childhood years.

Same thing in a discipleship relationship. This is where we have dropped the ball many times. We see someone slipping or doing something that they should not be doing, or saying something that they should not be saying and we do nothing about it. We excuse it… “oh that is just the way they are and we just need to overlook it.” No… if you truly love someone, you will admonish them, you will warn them! That is a part of what being a spiritual father is!

On April 10, 1912, the greatest most technological advanced ship of its day set sail. The Titanic was a sight to behold. It was called an unsinkable ship. We all know the story. The unsinkable ship sank. But as you study the story of the Titanic, this tragedy did not need to happen. They were warned that there were icebergs in their path. All they had to do was to adjust their course and sail around it. In fact… they received 21 warnings in the span of 4 days and they did not heed them. They wanted to get to New York City in record time. Despite the warnings, they steamed ahead and hit that fateful iceberg and around 1,500 people lost their lives.

Failure to warn spiritual children can be just as tragic. If we have spiritual responsibility over another believer, especially if we brought them to the Lord, there will be times when we must warn them. As a spiritual father we must lovingly criticize wrong beliefs or wrong behavior with the purpose of bringing correction and change. We must not humiliate or judge self-righteously. A loving father doesn’t do those things. But a loving father will always warn, reprove, correct, and even discipline when necessary. He will do whatever he must that is right and proper for the welfare of his children. The tool for this is the Word of God…

2 Timothy 3:16–17 NKJV

All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.

1 Thessalonians 2:10–12 NKJV

You are witnesses, and God also, how devoutly and justly and blamelessly we behaved ourselves among you who believe; as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children, that you would walk worthy of God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory.

B. You Love (14b)

As you read 1 Corinthians, you will see that Paul refers to the church there as his brothers several times (1:10; 2:1; 3:1), but here he calls them his children, and this gives us a more intimate relationship. He doesn’t call them just children, but beloved children. And as what Paul had been saying to them, it is clear that they were not obedient, they were not morally upright, they were not doctrinally sound, or even mature, but they were still loved.

This word beloved is from the Greek verb agapao, which refers to the strongest kind of love… it is the deepest love. This is more than just brotherly love. It is a love that is determined and willful. It is a love that has one purpose of serving the object of love.

Later on when Paul writes to this church again he tells them…

2 Corinthians 12:14–15 NKJV

Now for the third time I am ready to come to you. And I will not be burdensome to you; for I do not seek yours, but you. For the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children. And I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved.

The Corinthian church did little to deserve Paul’s love for what they were doing, but they had it in full measure. His love for them gave everything and asked for nothing. It was self-sacrificing, it was far reaching, and it was a lasting love.

A loving father wants to understand his kids as deeply as possible. He wants to know where they hurt so that he can help them. He wants to know when they are afraid so he can help calm their fears. He wants to know where they are weak so he can help strengthen them. He wants to know their needs so he can help meet them. Paul loved the Corinthians in that way. He loved them, he understood their situation and needs.

There was a study done with orphans years ago. They received adequate food and shelter, but lacked love and affection. The results were shocking; many of these children struggled with emotional and social issues throughout their lives. The study concluded that while physical needs are essential, a child’s emotional needs - especially the love from a parent - are vital for healthy development. Dad’s this is important. You may think you are doing a great job in your kids lives by working at ton so that they can have everything… but that will hinder your kids. They don’t need all these things… they need you! They need your love!

Same with our spiritual children… they need love. They need someone to come alongside them and help lift them up when they fall. They need to know that someone is in their court.

C. You Reproduce (15)

Paul here gives an illustration and he pictures the uniqueness of fatherhood. No child can have more than one natural father. All of us in here can only have one natural father. Same in the spiritual realm, the Corinthians had countless instructors in Christ but only one spiritual father. Paul was the spiritual father of most of them. He was the one who led them to the Lord and discipled them. It is important to know here that he is not saying that he was the source of spiritual life, but was just the tool that was used by God.

The instructor of Paul’s day was a trusted slave who was placed in complete charge of a child’s welfare and growth. He was even in charge of escorting the child to school and seeing that no harm came to him. He was responsible for the growth and development of the child until he was grown. Paul says that the Corinthian church had an unlimited number of capable instructors and teachers, and all of those may have been helpful to one degree or another. But he was uniquely their spiritual father.

A father, by definition, is a man who has children. He is the agent of God’s creating a life. A man can be a man without having children and even a husband without having children. But he cannot be a father without having children. A Christian cannot be a spiritual father without being used by God to bring life to spiritual children.

Unfortunately, many Christians have never become spiritual fathers. They have never produced any spiritual offspring. I wonder how many in here today are spiritually childless. I wonder how many in here have never led a person to Christ and helped train them in the way of God. A Christian is one who has been given new life in Christ, and one of the most important characteristics of life is reproduction. Yet many believers have never reproduced themselves. In a sense they are contradictions to what a Christian is. Every believer should be a spiritual father, God’s instrument for bringing new lives into His kingdom. That begins the discipling process.

Everywhere Paul went, he was winning people to the Lord. He had founded numerous churches, and when he wrote to them he addressed them not only as his brothers, but also as his children. Paul called Timothy his true son in the faith and Titus his true son in a common faith. Everywhere he went he led people to Christ, thereby becoming their spiritual father.

Now Paul did not claim to have the power of saving people. He says here, in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel. The source of every spiritual birth is the power of God in Christ coupled with the Word of God. But the Lord also has chosen to use human agents as His witnesses. Jesus commanded us to pray for the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into His harvest. The fruit of the harvest is entirely in the Lord’s hands, but He has called you and me to be His co-laborers in His fields. I like what Pastor Charles Hodges said, “For though multitudes are converted by the Spirit through the Word without any ministerial intervention, just as grain springs up here and there without a husbandman, yet it is the ordinance of God that the harvest of souls should be gathered by workmen appointed for that purpose.”

God’s harvesters become the spiritual fathers of those they reap for the Lord.

II. Pattern to Imitate (16-17)

There is something to be said about our kids trying to imitate us. I remember as a boy I tried to copy my dad. I would try to walk like him and stand like him. To this day, my mom says that if my dad and I are walking together and she is behind us that she cannot tell us apart because we walk the same. I can see this even with my kids… Josiah when he was younger copied me. I remember when we first moved here I went out hunting and took him with me. I had my camo on and was carrying my rifle to the car and he comes out in his camo and his plastic rifle and he looked like a mini me. Even our younger boys do this… Judah gets his backpack and says that he is going to the office… he goes to Wendy and tells her that and he says that he needs to give her a kiss and tells her that he loves her and then walks away pretending to go to work. Why does he do that? Because every morning I get my backpack and I go to Wendy and I tell her that I love her and I give her a huge kiss and Judah sees that! He is an imitator of me.

Dads, your kids are watching you and they will imitate you! But not just that, people are looking up to you spiritually and they see what you do and imitate you. So what are you supposed to do?

A. You Set An Example (16-17a)

You know, without a good example, our teaching cannot be effective. A spiritual father needs to set the example for his spiritual children. Paul was very careful to do this. He was confident that he could say to be an imitator of him.

How many times have we heard parents say do as I say, not as I do! That is the worst thing to do! Because your kids will do as you do! And the same with your spiritual children… they are watching you and will do as you do. We need to be able to say with confidence, Do as I say, and do as I do!

You know, the hardest place to disciple is in your home with your kids. Because your kids see everything that you do. They know what is up. They see you act all spiritual in church and worldly at home. Parents, you need to watch out for this. Do you know why 80-90% of kids never darken the door of a church when they grow up? It is because you are a hypocrite! You are all talk and no walk… and they see that! Our kids know firsthand if we are living up to what we are trying to teach them. If we are not, most of our instruction and admonition will fall on deaf ears. Even if we sincerely love them, our kids are more likely to follow what we do more than what we say. Discipling in the home is more than teaching right principles; it is also living those principles before the ones being discipled.

In our text, you can see that Paul was very successful at being an example and taking people under his wing that he entrusted his discipling to others that he discipled. He was sending them Timothy. He was very confident that Timothy would continue what Paul had started. When we are Christlike, those we disciple will be more likely to become Christlike and be able to help others become Christlike.

Folks, this is what multiplication looks like! If you are saved today, every single one of us in here should be taking someone else under our wing! All of us should have a disciple!

So not only are we to set an example, but with that we should be teaching…

B. You teach (17b)

Parents, it is very important that you teach your children how to live godly lives… it is also important in a discipleship relationship to teach this also. But it is important to remember that you cannot teach that which you do not know! It is very important that you are faithful to church to learn from the preaching of the Word, but not just that, you have the Holy Spirit to teach you everyday and yet we do not even consider Him because we are not getting into His Word! To know the Word, you need to read the Word, you need to study the Word, and you need to live the Word. Then you can teach the Word!

Paul taught Timothy and discipled him… but it didn’t start with Paul… It started with his grandmother Lois and mother Eunice, they taught and instilled upon young Timothy the ways of the Lord and when Paul met him, Timothy already had a great foundation. My parents taught me… they made sure that I was in church every time the doors were opened. They made sure that I paid attention in church. When I was an older child and as a teenager I was not allowed to draw or doodle… I wasn’t allowed to use the restroom in the middle of the service, I was made to pay attention. If I didn’t I heard about it. I remember going to church with my grandpa Carr and he would do this with me what he did with my dad when he was a boy. If I wasn’t paying attention, he would reach his hand out and pinch you… but yet you dare not make a sound because if you did you were in trouble!

Anyway, I am getting off topic… My parents made sure I was in church, but not just that, we had family devotions everyday. I saw my parents have personal devotions. That was huge for me… they laid the foundation so when the Lord called me into the ministry I was ready… there was fertile ground there!

III. Powerful Authority and Discipline (18-21)

We get to the last few verses of this chapter and also of this first section in 1 Corinthians. Paul winds this down by talking about the importance of discipline, and he is not just talking about the importance of it but also how powerful it can be in the lives of spiritual children.

There are times when we as parents need to discipline our children, and there are seasons where all it seems we are doing is disciplining them. But that is training! And so many parents like to sit on the bench when it comes to disciplining their kids. And just like we as parents need to discipline our children, sometimes spiritual fathers need to discipline their spiritual children. When a Christian begins to slip and fall into wrong doctrine or wrong actions, they need to be corrected. That is the loving thing to do! And these confrontations are never easy, but they are necessary.

Some of the members of the church had fallen into sin, but also many of them were puffed up. They were arrogant and proud, and they thought they could get away with it because they believed that Paul would not come to them and confront them. Well, Paul made sure that they knew that he knew what was going on and if they didn’t straighten up that he would come and straighten them up.

What is the saying, when the cat is away, the mice play? The church had a serious problem with pride and self, and when strong spiritual leadership was not there, many of them went back to the old ways of living and stirred up trouble. But Paul warned them, they could fix it now, or he would come and fix it.

It is just like when mom says, “You had better straighten up, or you just wait till dad get’s home!” We all know what that meant! We either fix what we are doing wrong, or dad is going to fix it for us… by way of not being able to sit for a few hours! Paul wasn’t doing this because he hated the church, no he did this because he loved them! You know, contrary to popular belief, but an undisciplined child belongs to parents who do not deeply care about his welfare! Paul was too loving a spiritual father not to discipline.

Besides, doesn’t God discipline us when we go astray? And do you realize that God also uses the church to accomplish this at times?

Proverbs 3:12 NKJV

For whom the Lord loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights.

I want you to also look at verse 19. You know again, from this verse, there are so many out there who are all talk and no walk… Paul is saying here, “I know what is being said… I know that you have all this lofty “righteous” speech… but when I come, I will know where the power is because actions speak louder than words!” This is very important because you can show us that you live a righteous life on Sunday with all your flowery speech, but the rest of the week you live like the world. You may think that you are fooling us… and you may be, but you cannot fool God and you really are not fooling us… the only person you are fooling is yourself. You see, Faith that does not result in right living may have many words to support it, but it will have no power. John MacArthur once said, “A person’s true spiritual character is not determined by the impressiveness of his words but by the power of his life.

You know, if you are discipling someone, sometimes the hardest thing to do is to confront them on their sin. When you see a friend slip, don’t let them continue. You may think, well, if I say something then they won’t talk to me anymore. Well, the most loving thing you can do is to confront them. By not confronting them, that shows a disrespect and let me just say, a hatred toward them…

Let’s apply

Proverbs 13:24 NKJV

He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

You can say that to your spiritual children as well. But let’s look at this one too….

Proverbs 27:6 NKJV

Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Closing

As we bring this to a close. Folks, we need to see the importance of discipleship! If you are not currently pouring into someone else’s life, you are living in disobedience to God. That is part of the Great Commission!

Matthew 28:19 NKJV

Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,

We as a church have dropped the ball… and I am not talking about the church as a whole (even though that is true) I am talking about Westport Bible Church! We all should be having discipleship relationships here. Those of you who are in your later years, you need to be taking on someone who is younger. You middle aged, you need to take on someone younger… young adults, you need to take on someone…. and so on! And sometimes age doesn’t matter… there may be a spiritually mature young person who can disciple a spiritually babe in Christ who is much older in years. But my point is this… All of us are called to be in a discipleship relationship and we need to be diligent about it!

Hiroo Onoda was a lieutenant in the Japanese army stationed on the Philippine island of Lubang during WW2. When his commander left the island, he ordered Onoda to stay and fight. “It may take three years, it may take five, but whatever happens we’ll come back for you,” he had been said. Onoda faithfully carried out those orders for the next 29 years.

After the war, the Japanese government dropped leaflets to persuade him to come out of hiding but he dismissed them as Allied propaganda. He was even declared dead in 1959. In 1974 he encountered Norio Suzuki, a Japanese student who had gone in search of Onoda. Suzuki could not convince Onoda - who insisted he was still awaiting orders - to come out of hiding. Suzuki left but soon returned with e delegation that included Onoda’s brother and his former commander, who formally relieved the emaciated soldier of duty!

Folks… that was a man who did his duty no matter what. God has given us orders to occupy till He comes, and to occupy, we must be in the business of discipleship!