Thankfulness: Family
Notes
Transcript
We had an excellent end to our series on spiritual reset. This week we are going to jump right in with Thankfulness. I wanted to start this theme off with one of the toughest areas for most people I have ever met. This area is one that all of us share in common and often have the most challenging interactions in life, our families. As we approach Thanksgiving many of us are preparing to have family in our lives and to enjoy the time with the people we love the most. Unfortunately as we approach some of us are still harboring issues with our families and there are people who are not invited to our thanksgiving dinner because of something that happened in the past, some in here have family they have not talked to in years because of some stupid disagreement and it is driving a wedge in the relationships that we are designed for. This past week my wife and kids were sick and I have grown a new thankfulness for my wife. Everything that she does at the house I had to do this week and let me tell you I was exhausted. Today as we approach the Word of God to learn how we should live and love I pray you consider those relationships in your life. Are you maintaining the relationships that need to be had? Are you honoring God in the way you are loving your family? Are you Thankful for your family? Turn with me in your Bible to Genesis 45: 1-24. In this scripture we find Joseph who is not the second in command for Pharoah. He did not get here easily though. It all started with him being thrown in a well and sold off to slave traders. His brothers who sold him took a coat that his father had made for him, tore it and put blood all over it to make it look like he had been killed. Once he was in Egypt he worked for a high power man in Egypt and the wife of this man tried to seduce Joseph. Because Joseph had character and morals he ran out of the house. The wife said that Joseph tried to force his way on her and her husband had Joseph thrown into prison. In prison Joseph honored God and was a blessing to those around him. Because of this God rescued Joseph from prison and through the next couple of years set him up as Pharoah right hand man. A famine was hitting the land and those brothers that sold him into slavery had to come into Egypt for food because Egypt was the only area that had prepared for the famine. His brothers had to meet Joseph and ask him for food. Joseph hid a cup in their bag then sent the guards after them. After finding the cup in their bag he told them that their youngest brother needed to stay with him. His brother Judah begged Joseph saying we lost our other brother and my father almost died, If our youngest brother now does not come back with us it will kill our father, let me stay instead. This is where our scripture picks up this morning. Talk about some family drama and some issues that could truly divide a family? How about having the ability to punish those who threw you into a well, sold you into slavery, were the direct cause of you being in prison . what would you do? This morning in our Scripture we will see three things. First, Family is complex Vs 3. Second, Family requires Love Vs 4. Third Family is important Vs 7 and we need to be thankful for our family Vs 15. Let’s read this passage together.
Family is complex
Family is complex
1 Then Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him. He cried, “Make everyone go out from me.” So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. 2 And he wept aloud, so that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard it. 3 And Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still alive?” But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed at his presence.
Joseph missed his family, he wept when he saw them and wanted to have that relationship restored. Joseph knew his family was dysfunctional and that was OK. His brothers when it said they were dismayed, the literal translation better fits, they were in fear. All of those horrible things they did came running back, as well as the fact that Joseph now had control over what happened to them. I bet one or two of them went back to the dream he bragged about. Well that just about sums up most of our families does it not? Show me one family that is not complex and I will show you a family of squirrels. Their family’s are simple. Birds they have simple families too. Mother and father bird have baby birds, father bird flies off and leaves mother bird to take care of the kids. One day mother bird gets tired of baby bird asking so many questions and expecting food all the time so she kicks baby bird out of the tree, literally. Baby bird learns to fly and is no longer considered a baby. That baby bird then moves on with the rest of its life. Simple, no feelings, no heartache, just simple. Our lives are not so simple. First off there are laws about sending your kids out to fend for themselves before they are adults. Second God built us for relationships. We are designed to have real relationships and to have fellowship and to build connections with those in our families. The scripture is full of scriptures that explain how we are built for relationships.
2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.
This scripture would make no sense if we were called to isolate ourselves. We are built for relationships.
6 Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease.
We are to have families. This specifically was a letter to the exiles and was written at a time when the Israelites were allowing their numbers to dwindle in the wilderness. God commanded them to have relationships. Families help us when we are going through tough times. The problem though is families like the family Joseph had is complex. Is your family complex? Do you have those in your family that are hard to handle and those who you don’t really enjoy? I bet though by raise of hands in here we do not have any that would say that they have had someone in their family, throw them in a well, convince the rest of their family they were dead, and sell them into slavery? Didn’t think so. In such a complex family I can tell you what I would do if my brothers had done that to me then showed up and didn’t know who I was and I had the power to make them regret every decision they ever made. It is not what Joseph did. Josephs family was complex and messed up, my family is complex and messed up.
In 1978, Thomas Hansen of Boulder Colorado, sued his parents for $350,000 on grounds of "malpractice of parenting." Mom and Dad had botched his upbringing so badly, he charged in his suit, that he would need years of costly psychiatric treatment.
All families have their issues. What does your family look like? Have you begun to alienate yourself from your family because of their complexity and your desire to have a “normal” family? If so I am here to tell you there is no such thing as a normal family. I can tell you though that in light of Joseph’s messed up family mine looks squeaky clean. My family may be messed up but they aint that messed up. What about yours? Maybe Aunt Beth’s untimely advise was not so bad in view of being thrown into a well or sold into slavery. The first step in being thankful for our families is to realize that all families are complex and that God has given us the family we have for a reason.
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
God has designed us for marriage and to have families and those families come with complexities and issues.
19 For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.”
We are designed to lean into our families and to Honor God in our relationships with our families.
Families are complex, your family is no exception to the rule and is no reason to walk away from the calling of God on our lives to be impactful in those families. The scriptures are full of weird families. Lot’s family, yeah lets not go there this morning it’s a salty story. How about Saul and Jonathan? Nothing better than a son who is best friends with the guy that God has given your kingdom to. Tamar tricked her father in law into having children with her. Cain killed his brother. Joseph found out his wife was pregnant by the Holy Spirit. Maybe in view of some of these biblical messes, your family isn’t so bad? First we must realize that all families are complex and ours is no exception. Second, Families require Love
Families require Love
Families require Love
4 So Joseph said to his brothers, “Come near to me, please.” And they came near. And he said, “I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt.
Joseph knew his family was dysfunctional and he had the power to end things right then and there, what did he do instead? He said come near to me. This was a significant thing. In the times that they lived in you never went near the ruler. There was a great space between the ruler and the ones that would come and ask. This space was created for safety and for the guards to be able to react in time to protect the ruler should someone want to harm them. This also meant that guards surrounded the ones asking or bringing up issues with the rulers. Joseph had the ability to give one signal and have all of his brothers killed. Why didn’t he? After all look at what he had lost in his life because of them. He was a convicted felon, he was a slave, he did not get to see his father all those years, he didn’t get to celebrate birthdays and ceremonies with his family and was a stranger in a distant land because of what they had done. If there was any reason to kill someone Joseph had all the reasons in the world to do it. He was in the bottom of that well when he heard them talking about killing him, he could hear them plotting against him then when they decided to sell him they pulled him out of the well he though maybe they changed their mind only to find they had him put in chains and made money off his being sold. What did they spend that money on? Did they go enjoy themselves at his expense? If anyone had reason to allow hate and revenge to fill his heart it was Joseph. Instead though Joseph chose forgiveness and love. What are you choosing in your family? Are there walls of hate and jealously, pride and anger in your family? It only takes one person in the family to break those walls down. Can I give you a real life example of something that happened to me this week? I was not planning on sharing this but believe that the Spirit has given this time in my family as a perfect time to share.
My wife has been struggling this week, she had some tests being run and had to be a the doctor every morning. This meant that I had to take the kids to school and keep Rylan with me. In the meantime Camden caught the flu and was sick so I had to keep him at home as well. After the first day of my wife's testing she only had one hour appointments in the morning. I was able to go to work and get some stuff done then she called and she said she was feeling sick. She began to have symptoms of the flu and needed my help keeping the kids. I went home and helped around the house. I found out real quick how difficult it is with Rylan but then add in Cam being sick and it was a whole other beast. In the meantime laundry had to be done, Rylan made messes that had to be cleaned and I had to work in between all of this. I quickly because stressed and frustrated. It came out when I was having conversations with my wife and as a matter of fact led me to tell her that she was fine. When a woman is sick with the flu and any time in general men do not tell her she is fine. I am learning these things. She became upset at me. I then became upset at her and we continued this on all week. Finally Saturday I could not handle it any longer and I finally had to apologize. I had to admit to her my failings and how I had not been the caring husband that I should have been. All week I just wanted her to tell me how great I was doing and how much I was doing. All week she simply wanted me to help her feel better. She wanted me to sit with her and to spend time with her and the kids because she couldn't do it. I felt slighted and honestly that was pure selfishness. It was difficult for me to see this. I wanted a trophy but honestly I wanted to be rewarded with praise for things she does every day. It was not until I finally came to humble my heart and to ask forgiveness and she had the love in her heart to forgive me that we finally moved on from our fighting and arguing.
There are two sides of this story. First is I was wrong and I had to admit that. If you are wrong in something and it is preventing you from having holy god given relationships in your family, humble yourself and admit it.
13 Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.
16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
These verses are all centered around the fact that we are called to confess our wrongs Confession is a way to bring things into the light and to destroy the devils hold on them. The devil wants us to hold onto those things, to say we were justified in our behaviors, to not let go of the past and hold on to pride. The Spirit calls us to lay these things down and restore relationships.
The second side to what happened with me and my wife is that she was willing to forgive. the scriptures teach us to forgive.
32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
37 “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;
13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
We are called to forgive. There are so many families that need love in the form of forgiveness. It is time to lay these things down and to restore our families. As we prepare for Thanksgiving I believe the Spirit intentionally had us use this message on the family first. Why? So that you will have time to restore relationships and to have a thanksgiving that is centered around love and forgiveness and around being truly thankful for your family. Not expecting everyone to be perfect but in spite of what anyone has done to you to lay that down and love your family. We all have so much we can learn from Joseph. Joseph called his family to come near when he had the power to exact his revenge.I pray you will call your families near this season and show God how thankful you are for the ones in your life that He has placed there for a purpose. In this season we must first realize that our families are complex and we must love our families, but we must also remember the importance of family and be thankful for them.
Remember the importance of family and be thankful for them
Remember the importance of family and be thankful for them
7 And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors.
15 And he kissed all his brothers and wept upon them. After that his brothers talked with him.
Joseph walked away from the anger and wrath because he understood the importance of his family. God had a plan though his family to change the world. Joseph reconciled relationships that he would have been justified in ending because he understood that God makes no mistakes even with the families he places us in. What kind of faith is that! Joseph said you threw me in a well, sold me into slavery, caused me to be looked at as a criminal, caused me to go to prison, all so that God’s plan could be fulfilled. Joseph saw his family as important and he was also thankful for them. Joseph kissed all his brothers and wept just to have that relationship back. I know some of you are dealing with some very tough family issues. I know some of you have family you have not talked to in years. I know some of you want a relationship restored and the other person won’t budge. I know some of you cannot see how God is going to work in the situations in your life. In these moments it is easy to start finding all of the reasons that we are upset at our families and the things that people do. That is what the devil wants us to do. He wants us to turn inward towards ourselves and how what others are doing is making us feel. The Spirit though calls us to live differently, to love at all costs, even if that means death on a cross. In view of death on a cross I think seeing the importance of your family and being thankful for them is a pretty easy task. This thanksgiving I want us to consider how God might change the world through our families. See each person as unique in God’s design, remember that God formed them in the womb and has a purpose for them here. You may be the one person that can help them fulfil that purpose if you will remember the complexities of family, overlook shortcomings, and love them because of what God will do with them.
Rudyard Kipling once wrote about families, "all of us are we--and everyone else is they." A family shares things like dreams, hopes, possessions, memories, smiles, frowns, and gladness...A family is a clan held together with the glue of love and the cement of mutual respect. A family is shelter from the storm, a friendly port when the waves of life become too wild. No person is ever alone who is a member of a family.
Fingertip Facts.
In the many words I could come up with to wrap up this sermon I am going to end it with a Bible verse. Being thankful for our families and restoring relationships can all be summed up in Matthew.
9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
