Emotionally Healthy Spirituality

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality - Notes

Chapter 1

We often act like pretending is more healthy than honesty and vulnerability

Sometimes, your faith and spirituality has little impact on the other areas of life

The way we function, decisions we make, etc on a day to day basis look more like our surrounding culture than the family of Jesus

How long can we spend as a christian when the emotional aspects of our being remain untouched?

When we have positive spiritual experiences, we often assume we are doing well, even if the internal parts of ourselves are in disarray

Questions we can ask ourselves:

Are we experiencing the kind of joy and contentment that scripture offers?

Matthew 11:30 “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”” - Does this sound like us?

emotional health and spiritual maturity are inseparable

God made us in his image

That includes emotional, physical, social, spiritual, and intellectual components

ignoring any one of these comes with consequences

Top signs of emotionally UNHEALTHY spirituality

Using God to Run from God

Creating a great deal of ‘spiritual activity’ in order to avoid the difficult areas in my life God wants to change

Example - having a lot of difficulty with a coworker because you can’t emotionally handle the person. Justifying it by saying, of course they hate me, scriptures says all the godly will face persecution.

Ignoring Anger, Sadness, and Fear

We don’t overcome them by avoiding them.

Example - being anxious, but just speaking out loud Philippians 4:6 until you stop thinking about the situation.

Dying to the wrong things

We are supposed to die to the bad parts of ourselves. We aren’t supposed to simply suffer in order to follow God.

Example - using misery as a justification that you’re following God.

Denying the Impact of the Past or the Present

God made us new creations. But he’s also MAKING us new creations. The past still has an impact, and it’s processing and handling it that brings release.

Example - Refusing to acknowledge the relational dysfunctions created in childhood.

Dividing Life into Secular and Sacred

It’s easy to relegate God to christian activities, and not consider what impact He has on our marriages, parenting, or jobs

This has a huge effect on our witness. When people see us living the same but preaching a transformative God - they don’t believe us

Doing FOR God rather than being WITH God

Seeing our relationship with God as primarily about performance rather than presenceThis

Work FOR god that is not nourished by presence WITH God will eventually become toxic

Spiritualizing Away Conflicts

‘Sweeping conflict under the rug’ and ignoring it isn’t biblical

Covering our Brokenness, Weakness, and Failure

There’s that temptation to cover up our weakness and present a strong image

The Bible doesn’t spin or ignore the weaknesses of it’s heroes.

Living without Limits

Christians can often feel a guilt to do more and get more accomplished

the Bible never intended for us to never say no to opportunities

Few christians recognize the connection between love of self and love of others

Judging other people’s spiritual journeys

Taking a position of moral or spiritual superiority.

This can prevent us from receiving from the Lord from ‘less spiritual’ individuals than ourselves

We need to let others be themselves before God and let God move them at His own pace

Chapter 2

We have been taught as Christians to ignore our feelings

When we deny our pain, loss, fears, etc, we become less and less human

The issue is not to blindly follow our feelings, but to recognize that they are a part of the way God communicates to us

God’s love for us is enough for us

The enemy tries to tempt us away from this perspective

Temptation 1 - I am what I do (performance)

The world asks us - what have you accomplished? How have you succeeded?

Temptation 2 - I am what I have (possessions)

Culture measures success by what we own

Temptation 3 - I am what others think (popularity)

True freedom comes when we don’t need to be someone special in the eyes of other people

The key is differentiation - the ability to know ones own goals, values, etc, apart from outside pressure or influence

You don’t need to criticize, downplay someone else who disagrees with you to validate yourself

Ways to dismantle the false self

1 - pay attention to your interior silence and solitude

distractions keep us from paying attention to our feelings. we need to be alone so we c an listen

what’s going on inside of you is happening, whether you’re aware or not. so be aware.

keep an emotional journal and allow yourself to process how you’re doing. Ask, what you felt at certain times, and why.

practice silence and solitude regularly. it introduces time to escape all the noise.

2 - Find trusted companions

the possibility of self-deception is so great that we need trusted mentors to walk with us through this process

3 - Move out of your comfort zone

Changing things can be tough. It can involve challenging stereotypes, even deep-seated ones.

But if you don’t move out of the comfort zone - you can’t move into growth.

4 - pray for courage

seeking out and implementing changes will threaten the status quo. People will be affected by the changes, even people you care about.

Pray for the courage to continue