2 Afraid 2 Ask Week 1: Prayer

Big Idea: Prayer is how we connect with God

Primary Scripture: Matthew 6:5-13

Supporting Scripture: John 14:26; Psalm 23:1-4

CAPTURE (Why should students pay attention to and care about your message?)

Have you ever pretended to know something when you actually didn't? For example, have you ever told your friends you knew all the rules of pickleball but never actually played a match? Or, have you ever told your parents you knew exactly where you placed your cell phone while secretly freaking out because knew you had actually lost it? Or have you ever told someone you could find Ohio on a map when everyone knows that this is literally impossible?

Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to admit that you don’t understand something? And it becomes even more difficult to admit when we don’t know something that everyone else seems to already understand.

*Tim Green Photo*

Around 15 years ago I was at this conference called “PALCON: Pastors and Leaders Conference” on the campus of Trevecca Nazarene University in Nashville. I went into this seminar where a guy named Tim Green was speaking.

I had heard Tim speak at a youth retreat a few years earlier and was excited to hear him again.

He was super relatable with his messages and pretty funny too.

But this particular day he was TOTALLY different in his presentation.

He was so far over my head with what he was saying I didn’t know which end was up.

I looked around and the other guys in the room (who were all at least twice my age) seemed to understand what Tim was saying. but I was completely lost.

We can do that with our Christian faith, too. We can go to church, spend time at youth group, hang out in our small group, and even serve in big ways, but deep down, we may not know the basics of our faith. And what’s worse, we might feel too embarrassed to ask.

That's what this series is all about. "2Afraid2Ask" is a chance to connect the dots on some big ideas you might not fully understand but are too hesitant to ask about because it might make you look foolish. Thankfully, nobody's going to look silly during this series because we are going to dive in together.

When I was young, my family would always pray before our meals. Nobody was allowed even to touch their food before we prayed because, for us, thanking God for our food was a big deal.

But then, when I was in middle school, I remember going over to a friend’s house for dinner and being a bit startled when we didn’t pray before the meal. I tried to play it off, but in the back of my mind, I was convinced that I was going to choke (or at least get sick).

Thankfully, we all survived. But it did get me thinking. Suddenly, I was flooded with questions like:

Why do we pray before meals?

Am I a bad Christian if I don’t pray before my meal?

And that slippery slope just led to even bigger questions:

Why do we pray in the first place?

Can God actually hear me when I pray?

Does praying actually do any good?

And these led to the BIG ONE that kind of broke my brain a little bit:

If God already knows everything I’m thinking, why do I even need to pray in the first place?

To say the least, I suddenly found myself with a lot of questions, but I was too embarrassed to actually ask for help finding answers. So, instead of answers, I was left with a lot of frustration.

Whether you’re new to your faith journey or have been a Christ-follower for a long time, my hope is that our time together can help you avoid some of that frustration by simply making space for us all to learn about prayer together. And when we’re done, we’ll make our way to our small group conversations, where you will hopefully feel the freedom to ask any additional questions you might have about prayer.

SCRIPTURE (What does God’s Word say?)

There are tons of passages in Scripture that talk about prayer, but one of my favorites is found in the Gospel of Matthew, where Jesus’ disciples muster up the courage to actually ask Him how to pray. And there's a lot we can learn from how Jesus responded:

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5 “When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get. 6 But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you. (Matthew 6:5-6 – NLT)

Ok, so just to be clear, Jesus isn't saying that praying in public is always bad. Instead, He’s saying that how we pray is just as important as when we pray and where we pray.

You see, if prayer is about connecting with God, then it really shouldn’t be about how we look in front of other people. Here’s what I mean:

You've seen videos of super-elaborate prom-posals, right? They usually involve one person making a really big deal about asking someone to go to prom with them. And, in a lot of ways, that’s really cool. It can feel really good to know that someone went out of their way to plan something special just for you.

But in most prom-posal videos, there are usually plenty of other people watching and recording the entire thing. And there’s usually a good reason for this. Prom-posals are usually pretty eye-catching, with some including elaborate signs, balloons, flowers, and even (sometimes), confetti cannons. Of course people are going to stop what they’re doing to see what’s going on.

But sometimes I wonder if all of those things are being done for the person being asked to prom or if they’re being done for the people and the cameras that are watching. And I think this is similar to what Jesus is pointing out to His disciples. Prayer doesn't need to be a big production. It doesn’t need to impress anyone. Instead, it can just be a normal, quiet conversation with God.

Let’s see what else He said…

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7 “When you pray, don’t babble on and on as the Gentiles do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. 8 Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him! (Matthew 6:7-8 – NLT)

Have you ever met someone who seems to keep talking, even though they don’t really seem to be saying anything? Sometimes, too many words can be worse than just a few short sentences.

Thankfully, Jesus is made it pretty clear that we don't have to impress God with our long-winded prayers or big words. Instead, we can just talk to God like we would talk to anyone else.

Ok, so, Jesus has covered a few things that we shouldn’t do when we pray, but what should we do? Thankfully, Jesus actually gives His disciples an actual example of how to pray…

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9 Pray like this: Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. 10 May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. 11 Give us today the food we need, 12 and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. 13 And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one. (Matthew 6:9-13 – NLT)

Sometimes you'll hear this called the Lord's Prayer, and that’s simply because Jesus is Lord, and this is the prayer He prayed. In fact, this prayer has been recited by Christ-followers for the last two thousand years… but do you think Jesus meant we should always use these exact words every time we pray? That would seem to go against the other two things Jesus just told us.

You see, Jesus isn’t just giving us a script to follow; He’s giving us an example to help get us started.

I want to share an acronym that I’ve found helpful in shaping my own prayers:

P.R.A.Y.

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Praise - Remind yourself how great God is when you pray. Tell Him all the things you're thankful for. Remember the good He's done.

Repent - Ask God for forgiveness for the times you've messed up. Be specific. It helps us remember how gracious God is.

Ask - If you have something you need, ask for it. It's totally fine to ask God for something. He is our Father and He cares about us.

Yield - This last part is how we remember that God is King and we are not. His way is best! It helps us to remember that what God desires is way better than anything we can come up with.

Again, this doesn’t mean that this is how we have to pray every single time. Instead, just think of it as a way to help us know what we want to say during our prayer time.

INSIGHTS (What might this Scripture mean?)

If you’ve ever read Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John, you might have noticed that it’s actually pretty rare for Jesus to answer a question so directly, and that makes me think that His answer about prayer is really important. So, let’s dive in a little deeper and make sure that there isn’t anything we’ve missed.

The first idea that jumps out at me in this passage is…

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1. God values authenticity.

Jesus really went out of His way to make sure that the disciples understood that the goal of prayer isn’t to try to impress anyone—not others and certainly not God. So, when we pray, it’s good to keep in mind that Jesus’ example points toward the idea that God wants us to be our honest, authentic selves.

Especially if you’re asked to pray in front of a group, it’s easy to be a little (or a lot!) self-conscious. We might even try to use certain words or phrases in an attempt to “sound spiritual.” But that’s just not what prayer is about. Prayer is about connecting with God in a way that’s genuine.

So, whether it’s when you are praying by yourself or when you’re praying in front of others (like before a meal or at the end of your small group), you can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that you don’t have to worry about how you sound. All you need to worry about is being yourself and being honest.

Like I said a few minutes ago, Jesus didn’t say that praying in public is automatically bad. Actually, I’ve learned A LOT about prayer just from listening to the prayers of others. I didn’t learn from them because they used certain spiritual-sounding phrases; I learned from them because they were being authentic.

In those moments when I’m being authentically led in prayer by someone else, I often find myself wanting to be connected with God in a similar way as the person that’s praying.

Another idea that jumped out at me is…

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2. Prayer is a two-way conversation with God.

I know that sometimes prayer can feel one-sided, but even when it feels that way, that’s not the picture that Jesus that described. It’s easy to miss, but in verse 6, Jesus said…

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6 But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you. (Matthew 6:5-6 – NLT)

Did you catch that last part? Jesus is telling us that when we pray, God sees (or hears) us and sometimes, God even responds. Now, this can happen in any number of ways, but I have found that God responds the most through reminding us of His Word or using other people or events to remind us of His promises. In fact, Jesus told us this would happen when He told His disciples He would send the Holy Spirit.

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26 But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you. (John 14:26 – NLT)

This is challenging because you can’t be reminded of something you didn’t know in the first place, right? This is why reading and even memorizing God’s Word is so important. When we commit the words of Scripture to our hearts, the Holy Spirit will remind us of those words when we need them the most.

But we also have to realize that it can be difficult to hear what God is saying to us when we are always running at breakneck speeds. And I think that’s a big part of why Jesus tells us to pray in a quiet space where we won’t be distracted or interrupted.

ACTION (How could we live this out?)

One of the things I love so much about this passage is that Jesus’ answer is super-practical. He made sure His disciples knew what prayer isn’t supposed to be like, and then He gave them an easy-to-follow example that they could follow.

But that was almost 2,000 years ago. So, what about us? How can we put Jesus’ words into practice this week? I have a few ideas that I think we can all do. The first is…

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1. Pray for two minutes each day this week.

This week, challenge yourself to set aside two minutes each day to pray. Two minutes doesn’t sound like a lot (and it’s not), but even small moments can slip away from us if we're not intentional about them. And the best way to be intentional is to plan ahead.

From personal experience, I've found that spending time with God is most effective when it's the very first thing I do in the morning or the very last thing before I lay down to sleep. For you, there might be another time that works better.

But whenever it is, find a quiet and private space where you won’t get distracted or interrupted. Whether it's your bedroom or out in nature, it doesn't have to be fancy or special—just intentional. And if you struggle to think of things to say, be sure to remember the acronym we talked about earlier: P.R.A.Y. (Praise, Repent, Ask, Yield).

You might also consider asking a friend if they want to take on this challenge with you. You can even check in with each other each day to ask how it’s going. Knowing you will be checking in with each other is a great way to help to commit to spending your time with God.

Another idea is to…

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2. Write your prayers in a journal.

Consider getting a journal you can use to write out your prayers. This doesn’t mean you have to write down every single word you ever pray, but what might happen if you were to write out prayers once or twice a week?

Even though this hasn’t always been the case, journaling my prayers is actually something that I’ve grown to really enjoy. It’s mainly because I find it a lot less difficult to focus on something when I write it down. When I’m writing, it’s just easier for me to block out distractions.

Plus, another benefit to writing down your prayers is that you can look back at what you wrote and see how God has responded over time.

And one last idea that might help is to…

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3. Read from the Psalms each night before you go to bed.

The book of Psalms is filled with prayers from people who walked with God. There’s a deep authenticity as some Psalms praise and thank God, while others express confusion, despair, and frustration. Seeing how the writers of the Psalms expressed their thoughts and feelings to God has often helped me to be able to do the same.

Now, don’t worry. I’m not saying you need to read the entire book of Psalms or even an entire chapter each night. Instead, just start small. Try reading a few verses at a time. And if you need a good place to start, I’d suggest Psalm 23. Here’s how it starts:

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1 The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. 2 He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. 3 He renews my strength.

He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. 4 Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. (Psalm 23:1-4 – NLT)

If you take this approach, see if you can find parts of the Psalm you’re reading that you can relate to. Then, let that be part of your prayer. For example, in the Psalm we just read, David is grateful that God has provided for his needs. If you feel the same way, use that as an opportunity to thank God for how He has provided for you.

Or if you are struggling with a difficult situation, you might talk to God about the “dark valley” you’re walking through and ask God to give you protection and comfort. No matter how you do it, my encouragement is to use the Psalms as a starting point.

*Show “Praying the Psalms* Book

If prayer is how we connect with God, these three things are going to help us do just that. By praying two minutes a day, journaling our prayers a few times a week, and reading from the Psalms before you go to bed, you’ll be laying a foundation for a connection with God that will absolutely change your life.

I want to close our time by—no surprise here!—praying for you before you head to your small group conversations. As we pray, I want to ask God to help each of us grow in closer to Him through prayer so we can know and experience God in ways we might have never though possible.

[close in prayer]

*SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT AFTER PRAYER!*