When Life Falls Apart - Ruth 1

Copyright November 10, 2024 by Rev. Bruce Goettsche

We all think we have a good spiritual foundation until life comes along and knocks us off of our feet. That is when we find out how firm and deep our foundation really is.

Jesus tells a parable in Matthew 7 about one house that is built on sand and the other that is built on solid rock. Jesus said they both looked like good houses . . . until the storms came. The house built on the sand was washed away. The house on the rock withstood the storms. This is largely the story of the book of Ruth. It is a story of God’s faithfulness even in the midst of tragedy.

We are going to take three weeks to look at the story. We will set the scene today. Let’s look at the first five verses of chapter 1.

In the days when the judges ruled in Israel, a severe famine came upon the land. So a man from Bethlehem in Judah left his home and went to live in the country of Moab, taking his wife and two sons with him. 2 The man’s name was Elimelech, and his wife was Naomi. Their two sons were Mahlon and Kilion. They were Ephrathites from Bethlehem in the land of Judah. And when they reached Moab, they settled there.

3 Then Elimelech died, and Naomi was left with her two sons. 4 The two sons married Moabite women. One married a woman named Orpah, and the other a woman named Ruth. But about ten years later, 5 both Mahlon and Kilion died. This left Naomi alone, without her two sons or her husband.

Life Sometimes Hurts

The first verse is a significant verse. There is a famine in Israel and Elimelech takes his family to Moab. On the surface, it seems like something any of us would do. You have to provide for your family! It seems like what you might do if you lost a job and needed to move your family to find work. But there is more here.

The Moabites were distantly related to the Israelites. The Moabites and Ammonites descended from Lot, the nephew of Abraham. It is a somewhat sordid story of how Lot’s daughters both got their father drunk (after Sodom was destroyed) seduced him, and became pregnant by their dad. (I guess that would make the boys the son AND grandson of Lot!)

This being said, it seems Elimelech did not show much faith by leaving his home in Bethlehem to find food in Moab. The history between the land of Moab and Israel is filled with intrigue. The story of Balaam (and his talking donkey) was a story of Moab’s attempt to have Israel cursed by the prophet. God would not let Balaam curse his people. So, Balaam did not get the payday he wanted so badly.

We learn however in Numbers 25 that Balaam apparently stayed in Moab and told the people that there was another way to undermine the Israelite people. He suggested the Moabite women seduce some of the Jewish men. (Are you seeing a theme in the family history?) When they invited these men to worship with them at their idols, these men, who were thinking with their hormones, worshipped the idols. As a result, all those men were executed.

When Israel was getting ready to enter into the Promised land after 40 years in the wilderness, Moab would not let them pass through their land to cross the Jordan River.

The relationship between Israel and Moab was not good. Listen to these words, in Deuteronomy 23:3-6,

3 “No Ammonite or Moabite may enter the assembly of the Lord. Even to the tenth generation, none of them may enter the assembly of the Lord forever, 4 because they did not meet you with bread and with water on the way, when you came out of Egypt, and because they hired against you Balaam the son of Beor from Pethor of Mesopotamia, to curse you. 5 But the Lord your God would not listen to Balaam; instead the Lord your God turned the curse into a blessing for you, because the Lord your God loved you. 6 You shall not seek their peace or their prosperity all your days forever.

Ruth was written during the time of the Judges. Early in the period of the judges Eglon King of Moab had invaded and dominated the Israelites for eighteen years (Jdg. 3:14).

These are the fact that we know. Yes, there was a famine and Elimelech wanted to take care of his family. But do the ends justify the means? Does it show a lack of faith on Elimelech’s part that he trusted this cursed nation rather than the Lord?

Elimelech and his family settled down in Moab. They lived there for over Ten years! The boys both married Moabite women and died ten years later. This was strictly forbidden! The Jews were to marry among their own people to keep faith from being diluted.

All three men (dad and the two sons) died while they were in Moab. The boys were survived by their wives: Ruth and Orpah. [On a side not: Oprah was named after Orpah but the name was constantly mispronounced so they called her Oprah.] This left the three women in a bad shape.

In verse 6 we learn that Naomi had heard that the famine was over in Israel. Our question is: How long had the famine been over? Had they grown comfortable in Moab? (Like Lot became comfortable in Sodom in Genesis 19). Was Naomi returning only out of necessity?

We don’t know the circumstances of these deaths, but it doesn’t take much to imagine the grief these women felt. They were left alone in a man’s world. We will see later that they still owned property in Israel, but it was the men who farmed that land. Naomi may have been returning to Israel reluctantly with her heart still in Moab.

How We Respond to Devastating Times

Naomi was broken. Any mother would be broken. She lost her husband and both of her sons (who would have been the ones to take care of her in old age). She could not help but be broken and feel all alone in the world. She was also left with two daughters-in-law. Rather than cling to them (as many lonely people would) she encouraged them to leave and have the chance to have a good life, even after losing their husbands.

But Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go, return each of you to her mother’s house. May the Lord deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me. 9 The Lord grant that you may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband!” Then she kissed them, and they lifted up their voices and wept. 10 And they said to her, “No, we will return with you to your people.” 11 But Naomi said, “Turn back, my daughters; why will you go with me? Have I yet sons in my womb that they may become your husbands? 12 Turn back, my daughters; go your way, for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, even if I should have a husband this night and should bear sons, 13 would you therefore wait till they were grown? Would you therefore refrain from marrying? No, my daughters, for it is exceedingly bitter to me for your sake that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me.” 14 Then they lifted up their voices and wept again. And Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.

Naomi knew there is no future for them if they stay with her. She may have also known that these women would have been rejected by the Jews because of their country of origin. She encouraged the women to go and rebuild their lives, get married again, and have a family.

In verse 20-21, when Naomi returns home we read,

20 She said to them, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. 21 I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?”

Naomi had become a bitter woman. In verse 13 it appears Naomi had concluded that God was out to get her. She, in essence, slandered the name of the Lord. She was concluding that He was mean. It is a very human tendency in hard times to assume that God is mad at us. We feel like a target.

When the bitter times of life come our way, we should hold on to a couple of principles. First, do not place yourself in an adversarial role with the Lord. He is the One who steadies us in these times, we must not conclude that God is mad at us or blame Him for what is going on. The Judge of all the earth always does what is right. We must cling to His character even when we do not know what is happening in life. God is our fortress and our salvation because of His consistency. When everything else is falling apart, the Lord remains the one thing we can rely on. He is always good and always does what is right.

Even if these deaths were the consequence of the journey to Moab instead of trusting the Lord, Naomi should have learned her lesson and turned to the Lord rather than away from Him. She should have replaced bitterness with trust. Trust holds on even when it feels like everything else is slipping away. We must trust God’s character rather than the circumstances of life.

Second, in times of grief and bitterness, do not withdraw from all human contact. This happens to many of us in these times. Things aren’t going well so we pull our knees to our chest and sit in the corner and lick our wounds. We isolate ourselves from others. Part of the reason is people often are well-meaning but really aren’t all that helpful. Some turn our pain into an opportunity to tell you about their pain (which is, I guess, is supposed to make it seem like things aren’t all that bad.) Or people will use our pain to preach at us. Or they give us trite words for problems that are more significant and devastating than they seem to understand.

This happens too often. A person goes through a tough time, and they withdraw from the church. They seem to want to hide their pain from the other members of the body. Yet, this should be the very place where hurt people can be honest about their struggles. This should be the place where we don’t have to maintain the pretense that everything is going great! We NEED each other. God created the church to be our “faith family.” This is where we find His grace to meet our heartaches.

We need friends at these times. We need someone who will listen and walk with us on the difficult road. We must resist the urge to isolate or to try to hurry the process.

Loyalty

This sad story takes a turn with the responses of Orpah and Ruth. Orpah understands what Naomi is saying and she heads home. She knows Naomi is correct. There is the likelihood that she would have to live the rest of her life in a strange land as a widow. Because she was from Moab, she knew she would not receive charity from the Jews. She chose what would seem to be the wise path. Besides, it isn’t very enjoyable to hang out with a bitter woman!

However, Ruth refused to leave her Mother-in-law no matter how insistent Naomi was. We read,

And Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.

15 And she said, “See, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law.” 16 But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. 17 Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.” 18 And when Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more.

Ruth is fiercely loyal to her mother-in-law (words you don’t hear very often). She refused to abandon Naomi . . . especially in the bitter state she was in. Her statement of loyalty is so majestic and profound it is a text that is often read in weddings. Ruth is basically renouncing her citizenship and her gods. This sounds very much like a conversion.

We all need a friend or a relative like this when we are in despair. We get the feeling Ruth had embraced the God of Israel. She had to know that going to Israel was not going to be an easy ride. She would be the foreigner. She might face prejudice, but she didn’t dwell on this. When she married her husband she married into a family and she was not going to depart the family simply because her husband had died.

This Moabite woman shows us a great example of the way we should react to our brothers and sisters in Christ. We should be committed and not give up as soon as things get difficult. We are part of the same family through Christ and He calls us to love each other and devote ourselves to each other.

Applications

This is just an introduction to the story. God’s work in the lives of Naomi and Ruth is about to begin. However, let’s draw some lessons just from this first chapter.

First, when times get tough we should trust the Lord and not run to Moab. Turning away from God to the ways of the world is always the wrong choice. We read nothing in this story about Elimelech seeking the Lord for wisdom. The Lord had to call Naomi back to Israel with some drastic measures. Moab is not the place to go.

Let me make a very timely illustration of this fact. Our country this last week had a bitterly contested election. There are people in this congregation who are bitterly disappointed with the results. What will you do with that bitterness? Will you turn away from God or to Him? Will you take drastic action like others in the world, or will you deepen your faith and trust God even though it is hard? Will you despair or hate or will you trust?

If you have a relationship break-up, will you run quickly to someone else? Will you compromise your values to keep this person you think you love? (We should all recognize that someone who does not respect what we believe, really doesn’t love us at all!)

I had a talk with a young nurse when I was in the hospital. She was a Christian. She had been dating a guy for 5 ½ years even though they spent much of their time apart because he served in the military. He was pushing hard for them to be intimate but she wanted to follow the Biblical mandate of maintaining her purity until marriage. She faced a dilemma: does she hold to God’s Word or does she “run to Moab” because “everyone else is doing it.”

This young woman asked God for wisdom. That same day when she talked to him he said, “You know I don’t really believe, I just go to church with you because I know that is important to you.” She said she had her sign. She could not be “unequally” yoked with this person who was only pretending to have faith. She doesn’t know what her future holds but I believe it will be much better than “running to Moab.”

A person is struggling in business. The economy is brutal. He knows many who make ends meet by falsifying documents and overcharging clients. But this is the way of Moab. This is a moment that defines one’s faith: will you run to Moab or trust the Lord?

Where is your soul beginning to be embittered? You have a choice: you can run to Moab or you can trust the Lord. You can rely on your schemes or on His Word. Choose carefully.

The second lesson is, when life seems to fall apart you need others. But not anyone will do. You need someone who is devoted, who cares, who shares your values and will not depart simply because things get hard. There are plenty of people who are only fair weather friends. They love to party, but they don’t like to actually care about another person’s life. Hopefully, you will find this person in a mate or in sibling, or a brother or sister in the Lord. We should always be on the lookout for such people, especially when we don’t actually need them. When life falls apart, we often don’t have the energy to look for someone. It is good to have that person ready and sitting on the bench!

Our tendency is often to withdraw because we don’t want to risk any more disappointment or pain. We don’t want to trust someone only to be disappointed. But you have to fight that instinct. You must choose to live. When we are alone we look for quick fixes and easy answers. That can lead to an extended stay Moab (drug or alcohol addiction, reckless indulgence in pleasure, or expenditures you can’t afford to incur). It could lead to sin because you are mad at God for the pain you believe He could have stopped. And it could even lead to suicide. People who are isolated and in pain often lack the perspective they need in times of heartache.

A wise friend, someone who cares about you, someone who is strong in their faith, can help you when your strength is gone. They may sit quietly, or they may have wise words. A good friend knows when to speak and when to just be there. And a good friend will always lead you back to the Lord.

The third lesson, which will be underscored throughout the rest of the book, is God’s arms are open. Perhaps it was wrong to go to Moab. The boys should not have married Moabite women. Naomi should not have been embittered against God. But God did not turn His back. His arms remained open.

Perhaps you have a Moab in your past. If you will repent and trust Him, His grace will cover your past mistakes. You may have lost sight of Him for a while, but He has never lost sight of you.