Untitled Sermon (13)

Step 3

If it is difficult for you to compliment others and to enjoy their successes, take a close look at your own personality.

The following checkpoints will help:

1. Some people cannot compliment others and enjoy their success because they have always been the center of attention themselves.

For example, Jane is an only child and always had everything she wanted. Over the years she became self-centered. Now as an adult, she finds it very difficult to even compliment her husband. Rather, she tends to “compete” with him. Unfortunately, her problem is about to destroy her marriage.

This, of course, represents a serious spiritual and emotional problem and reflects immaturity. This was the problem with the Corinthians. If this is your problem, confess your sin and reprogram your life. Memorize Philippians 2:3–4, and meditate on these exhortations every day.

PHIL 2:3-4 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Every time you’re tempted to “hog the show,” quote those verses to yourself. Ask God to bring them to your memory when you find yourself being tempted.

2. Some people have difficulty complimenting and honoring others because they are insecure.

In these situations, the results are often the same, but the emotional dynamics are different. These people, rather than being purely self-centered, don’t feel good about themselves. They have difficulty “honoring others” because they feel in need of honor themselves. In fact, they are the kind of people who can never get enough honor and attention. They feed on it; they gorge themselves—and still cry out for more! Even after all this, they often complain no one pays attention to them. This is also a form of self-centeredness, but the motivation is different from those who are purely selfish.

For example, Tom is that kind of person. As a child he was always put down. His parents were so busy trying to get attention from each other they failed to give any to Tom. Consequently, he grew up an insecure person. Now he finds within himself an insatiable desire for recognition and attention. And he’ll do almost anything to get it.

Tom has a psychological problem as well as a spiritual one. In their past, people like him were not given enough love and attention. Consequently, they have developed a spongelike personality. They can’t seem to give. They always want to receive. Can you identify?

This kind of person needs insight, understanding, and help from others. He needs to recognize the necessity of reprogramming his mind and emotions. In addition to memorizing Scripture (such as Phil. 2:3–4), he needs loving counsel blended with direct confrontation regarding his patterns of behavior.

If either of these two problems describe your behavior, begin today to seek help from another mature member of Christ’s church. Don’t disobey God another day (no matter what the cause of your problem). If you continue, you’ll rob yourself of the blessing that will come if you truly “honor others above yourself.”

Remember, you can never lose by sincerely honoring others. God will not forget, and neither will those you honor.

What are the two main personality issues mentioned that prevent people from giving compliments?

According to the sermon, why might someone who is insecure struggle to compliment others?

What behaviors might indicate someone is struggling with self-centeredness?