38. Submission to Husbands p2

1Pe 3:1-7  Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,  (2)  when they see your respectful and pure conduct.  (3)  Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—  (4)  but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.  (5)  For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,  (6)  as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.  (7)  Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

The last time we were in this text we had a lengthy introduction. We looked at the created order establishing the forensic equality between the husband and the wife. Gen 1:27  So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. In the economy of God there is a difference. This is implied in the order or creation and explicitly stated by Paul in 1 Tim 2:9-15 There was harmony, unity, and intimacy before the fall. After the fall we the harmony, unity, and intimacy were lost. Now all things have been reconciled in Christ Jesus, meaning just as Jew and Gentile have been reconciled and made one body as Paul speaks in Eph 2 so all relationships have been reconciled. Does that mean that all marriages before Christ’s redemptive work were broken? No. Old Testament saints were no less Christian than New Testament saints. They looked forward to the work of Christ and we look back. But it is in the salvation of God that the marriage relationship, broken in the Fall, is restored by faith in Christ. Perfectly? No, or we would not have the commands that Peter and Paul both give us regarding husbands and wives.

We next looked at the historical context of wives in the Roman empire at the time of Peter’s letter. Peter addresses household slaves first because they were the bottom of the social ladder. Not considered as people rather as property with no legal rights or recourse. The wife in that day and time wasn’t in a much better situation. Peter addresses them second. It was fairly common for the wife to be converted and not the husband. If slaves had cruel masters, wives could have harsh husbands. Peter does not tell them to leave, but to submit.

There are 2 Points this morning.

Biblical submission Commanded

Biblical Submission Described

I.Biblical Submission Commanded v1

Reminder – Biblical submission is an active, willing subordination of oneself to God’s stated order. It is based upon the death of pride and a desire to serve. It is the willing giving up of ourselves to the life-long endeavor to something greater than ourselves. And with it entering into the lifelong struggle of dying to ourselves and living to God.

This command points to the one person to whom women should be in submission to – their own husbands; in the maintenance for the order of the home, believer or unbeliever, strong mature believer or weak one. This is a command that is not based upon the circumstance of having a good husband. There are no conditions to be met for the command to be obeyed.

Peter begins the command with the word ‘In the same way’ or ‘Likewise’; pointing back to the example of Jesus 1Pe 2:23 and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; And why did He do this? He did this for you and for me, that while we were yet sinners He died for us. Biblical submission is never without purpose.

There is gospel power in Biblical submission in accordance with the purpose and plan of God. ‘That they may be won without a word’. First, we must recognize the condition of the husband. The NKJ states it this way ‘ do not obey the Word’, the NASB ‘disobedient to the Word’,. The ‘Word” first of all is the technical term for the gospel. Not obeying, or disobedient conveys the rejection of the gospel message. We could also substitute disbelieve for not obeying the Word and have, perhaps, a clearer picture of the Christian wife’s situation. It was an antagonism toward the gospel message. When Peter says ‘without a word’, he is not saying without THE WORD, the gospel. Peter is saying here that husbands that are antagonistic to the message may be won by the Word being lived out in the transformed life of the Christian wife.

Example given by C. H. Spurgeon

A husband was a very loose, depraved man of the world, but he had a wife who for many years bore with his ridicule and unkindness, praying for him night and day. One night, being at a drunken feast with a number of his companions, he boasted that his wife would do anything he wished; she was as submissive as a lamb. "Now," he said, "she has gone to bed hours ago, but if I take you all to my house at once, she will get up and entertain you and make no com­plaint." The matter ended in a bet, and away they went.

In a few minutes she was up and remarked that she was glad that she had two chickens ready, and if they would wait she would soon have a supper spread for them. The table was spread, and she took her place at it, acting the part of hostess with cheerfulness. One of the company exclaimed, "Madam, I am at a loss to under-stand how it is you receive us so cheerfully, for being a religious person you cannot approve of our conduct."

Her reply was, "I and my husband were both formerly un­converted, but by the grace of God I am now a believer in the Lord Jesus. I have daily prayed for my husband and done all I can to bring him to a better mind. But as I see no change in him, I fear he will be lost forever. And I have made up my mind to make him as happy as I can while he is here."

They went away, and her husband said, "Do you really think I shall be unhappy forever?"

"I fear so," said she. "I would to God you would repent and seek forgiveness." That night patience accomplished her desire. He was soon found with her on the way to heaven. (C H Spurgeon)

Example of Monica, the mother of Augustine. God used Monica’s witness and prayers to win both her son and her husband to Christ, though her husband was not converted until shortly before his death. Augustine wrote in Confessions,

“She served him as her lord; and did her diligence to win him unto Thee… preaching Thee unto him by her conversation [behavior]; by which Thou ornamentest her, making her reverently amiable unto her husband.”

II.Biblical Submission Described – True Adornment Inward versus Outward.

Submission involves purity. V2 when they observe your chaste conduct

When they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear explains how the victory may be achieved. Observe is the same word used in chapter 2:12.

1Pe 2:12  having your conduct honorable among the Gentiles, that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may, by your good works which they observe, glorify God in the day of visitation.

“Chaste”(1Pe 3:2) can be translated “purity” It is used in the New Testament to refer to abstaining from sin (1Ti 5:22). John uses this word when he tells us to purify ourselves just as Jesus is pure (1Jn 3:3). This means that a wife who wants to win her husband to Christ must live in obedience to God. She will be morally pure. Her husband won’t distrust her. She won’t use deception or dishonesty to try to get her own way. She will learn to handle anger in a biblical way. Her hope will be in God (1Pe 3:5) so that she will have a sweet spirit, even toward a difficult husband. He will see Christlikeness in her.

Submission involves reverence. V2 accompanied by fear

This could mean respect toward her husband (which a wife is to show, Eph. 5:33), but because Peter’s uses of “fear” in the preceding context refer to reverence toward God (1Pe 2:17, 18), 1Pe 2:17-18  Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.  (18)  Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh.

In context fear is toward God, not her husband

The idea is that a godly wife will live in the reverence of God, aware that He sees all that is going on (“in the sight of God,” 3:4). To live in reverent fear of God means that we recognize His holiness and His command for us to be holy and therefore live obediently, even when it’s hard.

Submission involves a gentle and quiet spirit - 1Pe 3:4  rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

Peter says that such a spirit is precious in the sight of God.

What does it mean? “Gentle” is the word sometimes translated “meek.” It is used of Jesus (Mt 11:29; 21:5). It does not mean weakness, but rather strength under submission or control.

“Quiet” does not mean mute, but rather tranquil or calm, not combative. A quiet woman exudes a confidence in her role and giftedness. She is not out to prove anything, because she is secure in who she is in the Lord. She may be “quiet” and yet be articulate and persuasive in presenting her point of view. But she doesn’t do it in a demanding or obnoxiously assertive way. She is at peace with herself in the Lord. The word “spirit” hints that these qualities are broad enough to allow room for personality differences.

Submission involves doing what is right.

You have become Sarah’s children “if you do what is right.” Peter emphasizes this concept (1Pe 2:12, 14, 15, 20; 1Pe 3:6, 11, 13, 16, 17; 1Pe 4:19). It always occurs in the context of others doing wrong toward us and points to the fact that our behavior shouldn’t be determined by how others treat us. We’re so prone to react to wrong treatment with more wrong treatment and then to blame our sin on the other person’s sin.

But God wants us to be prepared to respond to wrongs against us by doing what is right. If your husband yells at you and you yell back, it escalates the conflict. He will yell louder, then you yell louder yet, and if things get out of hand, he may lose control and say all sorts of nasty things that he wouldn’t say when he’s more rational or he may even hit you. But if he yells at you and you calmly respond, “I can understand why you’re upset. What can I do to help?” you’ve just de-escalated the quarrel. How can a man fight with that kind of response?

Submission involves an emphasis on the inner person over outward appearance.

The point of 1Pe 3:3, 4 is not that a woman should neglect her outward appearance, but rather that her emphasis should be on the inner person. He is not forbidding all braiding of hair or wearing of jewelry, or else he’s also forbidding wearing dresses! Peter’s point is that the emphasis should be on attractive character qualities, which are imperishable, not on elaborate outward attractiveness, which necessarily fades with age.

Inner beauty is attractive even to a godless husband, and it enhances a woman’s outward appearance.

(Donald Barnhouse, Let Me Illustrate [Revell], p.156.) A young officer who was blinded during a war met and later married one of the nurses who took care of him in the hospital. One day he overheard someone say, “It was lucky for her that he was blind, since no one who could see would marry such a homely woman.” He walked toward the voice and said, “I overheard what you said, and I thank God from the depths of my heart for blindness of eyes that might have kept me from seeing the marvelous worth of the soul of this woman who is my wife. She is the most noble character I have ever known; if the conformation of her features is such that it might have masked her inward beauty to my soul then I am the great gainer by having lost my sight.”

Outer beauty fades, but inner beauty grows stronger over time. So Peter’s point is that a Christian wife should live with an unbelieving husband so that he is attracted to Christ by her beautiful behavior.

Application:

"Submission involves at least four things. First, it begins with an attitude of entrusting oneself to God. 1Pe 2:23-25  who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously;  (24)  who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed.  (25)  For you were like sheep going astray, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. The focus of our life must be on Jesus Christ.

Second, submission requires respectful behavior (1Pe 3:1,2).

Third, submission involves the development of a godly character (1Pe 3:3-5).

Fourth, submission includes doing what is right (1Pe 3:6). It does not include violating other Scriptural principles. Submission is imperative for oneness in marriage.

Brother Jeff read in Luke, the angel Gabriel appearing to Mary. Luk 1:26-38  Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth,  (27)  to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin's name was Mary.  (28)  And having come in, the angel said to her, "Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!"  (29)  But when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and considered what manner of greeting this was.  (30)  Then the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.  (31)  And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name JESUS.  (32)  He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David.  (33)  And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end."  (34)  Then Mary said to the angel, "How can this be, since I do not know a man?"  (35)  And the angel answered and said to her, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will overshadow you; therefore, also, that Holy One who is to be born will be called the Son of God.  (36)  Now indeed, Elizabeth your relative has also conceived a son in her old age; and this is now the sixth month for her who was called barren.  (37)  For with God nothing will be impossible."  (38)  Then Mary said, "Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word." And the angel departed from her.

When we read these verses, we rejoice and the promise of the coming of our Savior and well we should. But we don’t think about the personal cost that Mary would endure. You might say, what cost? The cost of being found with child, while betrothed to Joseph. Joseph, himself was going to put her away quietly, and only changed his mind because of the angel that appeared to him. All the dirty looks, the back handed comments, the false mark against her character and integrity that she would carry with her most of her life, not to be vindicated until after Jesus’s resurrection and ascension. What did she do? She kept entrusting herself to God, in humble submission, rejoicing in the Lord.

Men: Will your wife’s submission to you, be an easy or a heavy burden? Will she find the joy she should in submission, or will it be nothing but an affliction? Let’s face it, sometimes we Christian husbands can have all the grace of a rock and almost be as smart as one too. Consider the godly labor your wife has been called to in Jesus Christ. Consider yourself, your own weakness and sin that you deal with every day. Remember she has to deal with it too. There is an indirect warning hidden in this text. The wife who submits to her husband with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet heart God sees and she is precious to Him. He also sees you. What will He do to you who despises that which is precious to Him? Unbeliever, you keep rejecting the message of salvation, you reject the His messenger, your wife, whom God has appointed to live out the gospel before your eyes. Believe on the Lord Jesus for the forgiveness of your sins and repent, for we are not guaranteed another breath let alone another day.