37. Submission to Husbands

Biblical Submission: Wives to Husbands p1

1Pe 3:1-7 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, (2) when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. (3) Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— (4) rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. (5) For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, (6) as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. (7) Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

Peter has given a general command to submission to the governing authorities, addressed household slaves and now addresses wives then husbands.

3Pts.

Introduction 2. Biblical Submission Commanded. 3. Biblical Submission Described

By way of introduction I’d like to spend some time laying for the foundation for this text historically from God’s created order, the fall, and then culturally. What is the context in which Peter sets forth this text?

Gen 1:26-27 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” (27) So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Man used here is the generic term referencing human kind. He created them in His own image, male and female He created them. Forensically the same in being the image of God. And it is in the context of male and female marriage that in procreation of children in the unity of marriage that we reflect our Creator.

Genesis 1 is the general creation account where Gen 2 is the specific account of God creating man.

Gen 2:7 then the LORD God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.

Gen 2:21-25 So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. (22) And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. (23) Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” (24) Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (25) And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Forensically the same as being image bearers yet implied is the difference in the economy of God. There was unity of persons, again reflecting the unity of the Triune God. In Unity there is harmony in all aspects of living. God is Triune, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit equal in substance or essence. The Son us subordinate to the Father, and the Spirit to the Father and Son.

This is to demonstrate the forensic sameness but the differing economy of the husband and wife not to imply the same unity of the Godhead. Paul tells us in Eph 5:31-32  “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”  (32)  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

The shines a light onto the importance of marriage. I must confess, too often, this is not on the forefront of my mind. Peter’s letter is all about intentional living in perilous times. And now more than ever we need to live intentionally.

In between verse 7 and 21 God gives a command to Adam Gen 2:16-17  And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, "Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat;  (17)  but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die."

Gen 3:1-19  Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, "Has God indeed said, 'You shall not eat of every tree of the garden'?"  (2)  And the woman said to the serpent, "We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden;  (3)  but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, 'You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.' "  (4)  Then the serpent said to the woman, "You will not surely die.  (5)  For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."  (6)  So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate.  

Just a few observations before we continue. Do you notice the difference between the command God gave Adam and what Eve told the serpent? She expands the prohibition ‘eat or touch’ and minimizes the consequence. In the command God gave Adam ‘you shall surely die’, Eve ‘lest you die’. Why did she do that? The Scriptures do not tell us. But Adam was right there. He wasn’t on the other side of the garden. Maybe in heaven we will find out what happened; it isn’t ours to know now.

(7)  Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.  (8)  And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden.  (9)  Then the LORD God called to Adam and said to him, "Where are you?"  (10)  So he said, "I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself."  (11)  And He said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?"  (12)  Then the man said, "The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate."  (13)  And the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."  

We see the immediate consequence of sin. There first act was to cover themselves from one another. There was a loss of intimacy. Not physical, but relational. There was a loss of unity. It appears from the text that they not only hid themselves from God but were separate. Adam said ‘I hid myself’, not ‘we hid’. There is a change in attitude. Adam goes from ‘bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh’ to blaming her and ultimately God for his transgression.

(14)  So the LORD God said to the serpent: "Because you have done this, You are cursed more than all cattle, And more than every beast of the field; On your belly you shall go, And you shall eat dust All the days of your life.  (15)  And I will put enmity Between you and the woman, And between your seed and her Seed; He shall bruise your head, And you shall bruise His heel."  (16)  To the woman He said: "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you."  (17)  Then to Adam He said, "Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, 'You shall not eat of it': "Cursed is the ground for your sake; In toil you shall eat of it All the days of your life.  (18)  Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you, And you shall eat the herb of the field.  (19)  In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread Till you return to the ground, For out of it you were taken; For dust you are, And to dust you shall return."

The word ‘desire’ has the same sense as it does where the same word is used of sin’s desire to dominate Cain in (Gen 4:6,7)  So the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it." It means longing, urge, craving, desire and refers to an urge to control or dominate. This underscores the discord from the break from the created order.

‘He shall rule over you’ is less an assertion of God’s created order and more in line of the consequence of sin. Rule has the sense of domination. Given the total depravity of mankind if it easy to envision the abuse of the wife’s ‘desire’ to rule over her husband and the husband’s ‘rule’ over her. The implication here is that before the fall there was equality and unity. Because of the fall, there is the struggle for domination within the marriage. The woman seeks the authority in the home and the man dominates, subjugates the woman. This is not God’s created order rather it is the result of sin. Does this erase God’s economy in the Christian marriage? No.

The fall introduces discord and disharmony and perverts God’s created order.

There has been, for some time, a constant barrage made against God’s stated order. The barrage began in the garden and continues to this day. It has taken different forms over the ages but now seen in the sexualization of women by men and modern-day feminism. Hence we have the command of Scripture in 1Pe 1:14-16  as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance;  (15)  but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct,  (16)  because it is written, "BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY."

Holiness is to be incorporated in all aspects of our life. It is not outward action only but the inward attitude of our heart.

1 Peter 3:1-7 hit us in a way the previous verses concerning slaves did not. We are not slaves, other than having been slaves to sin before Christ we have not known what it is to a slave to men. But most of are husbands and wives. I have to say that preaching these verses fills me with trepidation. Why? Because of the multitude of trials our congregation is suffering; from personal loss, to illness, to the ache of broken hearts. When Noah was in high school he attended Veritas Press Scholars Academy. It was common for him to start school at 8:00 in the morning and go non-stop till 10 or 11 at night. I was not a fan of that school to say the least. But what an education and what an accomplishment. So as much as I might like to pass over these verses personally, in the Providence of God it has fallen where it has fallen.

Historical Context: Under Roman law a woman had no rights. In law she remained forever a child. When she was under her father she was under the father's power, which gave the father the right even of life and death over her; and when she married she passed equally into the power of her husband. She was entirely subject to her husband and completely at his mercy.

The Roman Cato wrote: "If you were to catch your wife in an act of infidelity, you can kill her with impunity without a trial."

Roman matrons were prohibited from drinking wine, and Egnatius beat his wife to death when he found her doing so.

Sulpicius Gallus dismissed his wife because she had once appeared in the streets without a veil.

Antistius Vetus divorced his wife because he saw her secretly speaking to a freed woman in public.

Publius Sempronius Sophus divorced his wife because once she went to the public games.

The whole attitude of ancient civilization was that no woman could dare take any decision for herself.

What, then, must have been the problems of the wife who became a Christian while her husband remained faithful to the ancestral gods? It is almost impossible for us to realize what life must have been for the wife who was brave enough to become a Christian.

General Observations:

Verse 1 of Chapter 3 is very similar to 2:18.

1Pe 3:1  Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,

1Pe 2:18  Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh.

It was not uncommon for a spouse to be saved and the other not. Considering the history it is not a stretch to see that if the masters could be harsh to their slaves, the same unconverted husbands could be harsh to their wives.

1Co 7:12-13  But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her.  (13)  And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.

We see in the word ‘likewise’ the call to imitate Christ, even as the slaves were called to do. Submit. It is also interesting to note that likewise is repeated when speaking to the husbands, We will address that later. There is also the elevation of status just as the status of the slave had been elevated so the status of the wife.

As Christian husbands and wives, we need to understand the greatness of our sin when we rebel against the commands of Scripture concerning both. We are rejecting God’s created order. We are joining in on the satanic attack of marriage and the image it is of Christ’s relationship to the church Paul speaks about in Ephesians 5:32. But in our weakness we look to Christ 1Pe 2:24-25  who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed.  (25)  For you were like sheep going astray, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.