L.I.F.E pt1

Today we start a b5rand new series.

Ovewr the last couple of weeks we have had sweeping theological messages regarding profound, deep and universal topics of Spirtiual warefare.

For this series we are going to bring the focus waay down to a much more intimate subject: The Christian Family.

Im caloling this series L.I.F.E because the spiritual life of your family should be, for all of us, one of our absolute highest priorities.

L: Living according to God’s Design.

I: Identity that Compliments.

F: Foundational Faith.

E: Enemy Obsticals to avoid.

L: Living According to God’s Design.

Family is not a social construct. It is God’s design. God created the family.

He created it and designed it to work in a wonderful way.

Here are the facts:

Marriage can either be the most wonderful thing you can experience apart only from knowing Christ.

OR

Marriage can be the most wretched thing you can experience apart only from experiencing Hell.

Basically: Marriage has the potential to either make you the happiest you’ll ever be or to make you the most miserable you’ll ever be.

The choice of “which one” depends almost entirly on which “design” you are following.

God created and designed the family to be an incredible source of joy, strength, peace, love, hope, comfort and victory.

As God’s children we have a moral obligation to model our families after the design God has laid out in scripture.

Given the “risk” why get married?

Well the good news is that you dont have to!

1 Corinthians 7:7–9 NKJV

7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. 8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Lets make sure we understand this:

IF you as a person are gifted in celebacy like Paul was, then it is good not to marry.

Why?

Because marriage, like anything that has been valkue, can be very difficult.

1 Corinthians 7:28 NKJV

28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.

So if as a single person there is nothing you need or want from a marriage then it is good to remain unmarried.

HOWEVER:

If you are single or yes if you are married and you are either goinmg to get married or you already god married then listen very carfully!

If you are married then you got married because there was something you needed or despretl;y wanted that you could only get from marriage.

Maybe you wanted a family - Marriage is God’s way of creating families.

Maybe you wanted companionship - Marriage is God’s way to combat lonliness.

I dont know why you got married but i do know that it was because you wanted or needed something.

Here is what is often overlooked:

Your spouse is just like you: They do NOT have the gift of celebcy. (If they did they should not have gottenb married!).

That means that as much as there is somthing you really wanted marriage to fulfil for you, they also got married with the hope that this marriage will fulfil for them.

It is utter ignorance to assume that your spouse married you to meet the same need that motivated you to marry them.

This ignorance is a primary issue responcible for the 7 year ich.

Let me explain:

Let us beghin today by looking at the blueprint for this design:

Genesis 2:18–24 NKJV

18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” 19 Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. 21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Ephesians 5:21–33 NKJV

21 submitting to one another in the fear of God. 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Todasy we are not going to look at roles, duties or responcibilities for the husband, wife or children - well get to that next week.

Today is more foundational.

Like trust is foundational for a relationship, what is foundational for a godly family?

We have already read the answer in Ephesians when it quoted Genesis:

Ephesians 5:31 NKJV

31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

Two completely different people, with different thoughts, likes and dislikes - coming together as one.

The word for this is: Harmony.

A Good and Pleasent family life depends on harmony.

Psalm 133:1 BSB

1 Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in harmony!

What exacally is harmony?

The closest Greek word we must look at is used in Matthew 18.

Matthew 18:19 NKJV

19 “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven.

The Greek word “agree” is “Symphonia”. Its where we get the word Symphony.

What is a symphony?

A collection of different instraments all playing the same song.

In other words: Each instrament is being played with the same purpose: Different instraments - Same Purpose.

This is how a harmonious family exists.

Each person in the family has an important note/role to play - not for their OWN glory or good but for the glory and good of the whole family.

Key:

For their note to result in good for the family, then like an orchestra playing a symphony, they must play their note clear, well and at the proper time.

This means that harmony is not something that happens naturally, rather it must be sought after and looked after.

Romans 14:19 NLT

19 So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up.

“Aim for harmony” not only in the church but also in the family.

How?

Again we have already read the answer:

Ephesians 5:30–33 NKJV

30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Listen carfully:

Harmony can only exist when everyone is playing the same song.

There is no husband song.

There is no wife song.

The husband song is when the husband behaves in a way that will benefit him.

The wife song is when the wife behaves in such a way as to benefit her.

Each of these are solo acts.

BUT the family song, the family harmony is when EVERYONE behaves in such a way as to benefit the whole household.

This can and will only be done if everyone is invested in sacrificial love.