Honor your Father and Mother
Notes
Transcript
Introduction:
Introduction:
Over the course of the next 3 weeks we are going to be looking at relationships with family… specifically you with your parents, but also some other aspects
I’m going to be with you the next 3 weeks, and I would love for this to be an intimate space that we can connect and have honest conversations with each other
You are going to hear about my family dynamics over the course of these weeks and I would love for y’all to be open about it too when we break off here later…
Here’s the idea behind this series, as you guys head back into time with family this break or others’ family we want to allow the Word of God to equip you as you head back home
Here’s why this topic is so important and we are going to allow this phrase to drive our conversations these next 3 weeks:
“Family is the God-given divine blueprint for all relationships”
“Family is the God-given divine blueprint for all relationships”
We get this phrasing because God’s Kingdom is often described as a “family”
We also see the importance of family relationships all throughout the NT and how it paints our picture of God and the way He operates
For example, your earthly father and Your Heavenly Father
If you have siblings, it impacts the way that you view your brothers and sisters in Christ
Now with this, I need to make a major caveat, I must say this and we must all recognize that sin has invaded every single facet of the life that we live in…
So I want us to realize that because of sin and brokenness, there are some really heavy things in the room
Abuse, loss, and simply very challenging family dynamics…
So please know that as I talk, not everything I am going to say today or the next couple of weeks is exhaustive, but I would love for our standard to be the Word of God and understand His heart for family and His ideal for family
Prayer
For those who don’t know me:
Zach Wells
From Spring TX
Pretty standard life growing up, played sports, did well in school
I grew up with parents who seemingly were always in conflict and who are now divorced
2 Parents deepLy infused with an addiction to alcohol
Have a father who gave and provided for me in ways I will be forever grateful, but the relational side… he has just struggled
This naturally at first made me settle in a spot with God the Father that He would provide for me, but the relationship side of God I struggled with at first
And this is the beautiful part over the last couple of years, is God the Father has begun and continues to show me the relational God He is…
I love the statement that God is infinitely powerful and yet equally intimately personal with us…
I understood the infinitely powerful but struggled with the personal side, but by the kindness of the Lord He has begun to grow my intimacy with Him
I have one older brother who I used to be really close with, but over time and as we grew up we naturally distanced ourselves (He was agnostic for the majority of his life but actually ended up giving his life to Jesus just about a month ago)
This has transformed the way that I view God’s design of having “brother and sisters” in the faith
And even with the amount of people in here, I know there are countless different dynamics within your family, and we know that the Bible spends a ton of time talking about relationships with people and spends a good chunk of time talking about family relationships
And so right now with the people around you, I would love for you to just discuss family dynamics for you… I would love for you to be bold in this room, but also please know this is a safe space and if you aren’t comfortable talking about certain things that is perfectly okay!
Give them time to talk
Specifically today, we are going to be talking about “honoring your father and mother” this is the basis of a sermon series on family… this becomes the foundation of our theme statement for this series: “Family is the God-given divine blueprint for all relationships”
Think about this, you have two parents who have brought about physical birth
You also have a Father (God) who brings about a spiritual birth for you
There’s a level of respect and honor that must be there… these two groups have brought something to you that you could NEVER DO by yourself
Biblical Foundation:
Biblical Foundation:
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
This is pulling from Exodus 20:12, the commandment to honor your father and mother (to obey your parents)
And when you think about the weight of the 10 commandments to be written on stone tablets and to be written on the hearts of men and women this must be a very important command
But what doesHonor and Obey, what does that even mean?
Honor in the original language: to revere, to prize, or to value
Notice how it is not a blind obedience unto authority, or an utter submission to parents
And so,
Children are instructed that their role in mutual submission is to obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Without learning obedience from parents, children would run wild in society. All social order depends on this. In the Lord does not mean that children only need to obey Christian parents. Rather, it means that they are obeying the Lord when they obey their parents. Sadly, we are living in a day when abuse of all kind is on the rise. This means I must mention that the same exceptions which wives have from obeying their husbands, children have in obeying their parents. When children are asked to do something unethical, illegal, or immoral, or when they are harmed or in danger of being harmed, the command to obey would be superseded by higher biblical principles of “obeying God rather than man.”
Honoring your father and mother becomes a mirror unto obeying authority and a mirror unto obeying God Himself
I also want you to notice where this falls in relation to the entirety of the letter to the Ephesian church
The front half of the book of Ephesians is a clear declaration of what the Gospel is and thus its implications on mankind…
The end of chapter 4 is a clear calling for the believer into a new life and this is where we see the transition from the big scope of the Gospel into it’s personal implication to walk in love beginning in chapter 5
The application of a Gospel Transformed life is to walk in love…
One of the first practical applications of walking in love according to Paul is for wives and husbands… and the very next application is for children to obey their parents, it’s that passage we read before in Ephesians chapter 6
Your primary area of ministry (whether you work in ministry or not) is your family… that’s why Paul turns to it first when speaking of how to walk in love because you have experienced love from the Father
Another place we see this in shorter explanation is from Paul in Col 3:20
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
This idea is also seen throughout the book of Proverbs:
8 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction,
and forsake not your mother’s teaching,
1 A wise son hears his father’s instruction,
but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.
17 The eye that mocks a father
and scorns to obey a mother
will be picked out by the ravens of the valley
and eaten by the vultures.
I also love looking at the example of our Savior and listen to what Luke 2:51 says…
51 And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart.
But with the idea that Paul refers back to the 10 commandments I want us to see the whole design of honoring your earthly father and mother…
9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live?
You honoring your father and your mother becomes a reflection of your honoring of your heavenly Father…
Please hear me, our God can redeem broken parent relationships (so if you have a father who is absent please don’t mishear me on this… God can redeem that picture of Him as a Father) because you see the second half of this verse?
We are EVEN MORE subject to honor and revere our Heavenly Father…
With this biblical background, I want us to discuss how we truly apply this into our lives…
Application:
Application:
Family Dynamics Change, the Command Doesn’t
Honoring your parents is not a suggestion from the Lord, but a command from God
Explain more
The flaws in your family relationships won’t be solved with distance
You have a sweet opportunity to enter into your parents lives as you head back home
Don’t shrink back
Explain more
How do I honor my parents now?
Dedicate your prayers
Respect (treat them like they are important, worth respecting)
Show your family that time with them isn’t a waste
Patience (comes from the Spirit of God)
t’s not always easy to honor our parents. The reality is that no family is perfect. Some of you may have experienced hurt, disappointment, or tension with your parents. Maybe there’s a gap between the way they see things and the way you see them. In those moments, it can be particularly difficult to know what honoring them looks like. But I want to encourage you: honoring your parents doesn’t always mean agreeing with them or pretending everything is fine.
Honor can also be shown in the way we approach our differences. It means choosing patience and understanding over frustration. It means choosing empathy over judgment. Proverbs 23:22 says, “Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.”
Whether your parents are younger or older, healthier or facing struggles, the call to listen, to be patient, and to love them unconditionally is vital. Honor them by not just seeking to get along but by actively seeking to understand them, even when it’s hard.
Service (this one grows with time)
I want to encourage you, as you return home this holiday season, to think about how you can practically honor your parents. This doesn’t always mean grand gestures; it can often be simple acts of kindness, showing up with a grateful heart, or helping with chores around the house. Sometimes, it’s just about being present and engaged in the family moments.
Maybe you’ve grown used to doing things your way in college, with your schedule, your rules, your rhythms. But when you return home, you’ll be stepping back into a different rhythm—the rhythm of family. Honor them by being flexible, by offering to help out with responsibilities, by contributing to the conversations, and by showing love through your actions.
If you’ve been away for a while, your parents may just appreciate your presence more than anything else. Honor them by showing up with a spirit of thankfulness and by cherishing the time together. It’s easy to get caught up in your own world, especially during busy times like finals or holiday preparations, but there’s something sacred in the simple gift of being together, of serving one another, and of making memories.
As college students, the idea of obedience can sometimes feel like it’s a thing of the past, especially as you make your own decisions and form your own opinions. But honoring your parents in adulthood might mean listening carefully to their advice—whether about your career, relationships, or finances—and genuinely considering their perspective. Sometimes the greatest act of honor is simply pausing to hear them out, not because you have to agree, but because you value who they are and what they’ve invested in you.
So before we break off into groups and I throw some questions on to the screen, I want us to consider Paul’s 2nd Letter to Timothy
2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.
Always be prepared to share the Gospel and as 1 Peter puts it, always be prepared to make a defense for your faith within your family
No matter if you view the holiday break as “in season” and you are going home to unbleievers as myself, or if you view the holiday season as “out of season” as you are going back home to a believing family
Honor your father and mother and be ready to share the Gospel always
What does the dynamic of your family look like when you will go back home specifically this break?
What does the dynamic of your family look like when you will go back home specifically this break?
What challenges do you anticipate facing with your family during the upcoming break?
What challenges do you anticipate facing with your family during the upcoming break?
How does the command to 'honor your father and mother' resonate with you, especially in light of your family dynamics?
How does the command to 'honor your father and mother' resonate with you, especially in light of your family dynamics?
As you prepare to go back home, what are some ways you can demonstrate respect and honor towards your parents?
As you prepare to go back home, what are some ways you can demonstrate respect and honor towards your parents?
