Lecture 12 Handling Conflict -Part 1

Handling Conflict God’s Way.

Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

Matthew 5:21-24 21 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: 22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. 23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; 24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

As someone in the ministry you will have a well rounded experience in handling conflict.

(Outline my own but a lot was gleaned from “Pursuing Peace: A Christian Guide to Handling Our Conflicts” by Robert D. Jones)

Lecture 1: Understanding Conflict and the Gospel Foundation of Peace

i. Introduction to Conflict:

Conflict is inevitable in a fallen world, affecting relationships in families, churches, workplaces, and communities. The Bible identifies the root of conflict as the sinful desires within us.

a. The Root of Conflict:

i. Definition of Conflict: A struggle arising from opposing desires, values, or perspectives.

ii. Scriptural Basis: James 4:1-2: From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?

1. This explains that our internal lusts and covetousness lead to external disputes. These heart issues often manifest as pride, selfishness, and anger.

iii. Proverbs 13:10 Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.

1. This verse reminds us that pride is a primary driver of conflict. Humility, however, brings wisdom and peace.

iv. Recognize that conflict is not merely external but begins internally. This awareness shifts the focus from blaming others to examining one’s own heart.

b. The Reality of Conflict:

i. Even in the church, conflict will be there due to humanities involvement.

1. Acts 15:36-41 36 And some days after Paul said unto Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they do. 37 And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark. 38 But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work. 39 And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus; 40 And Paul chose Silas, and departed, being recommended by the brethren unto the grace of God. 41 And he went through Syria and Cilicia, confirming the churches.

a. Their conflict was sharp. (v. 39)

b. Their conflict was separating. (v. 39)

c. Their conflict was short-term. (Col_4:10; Phm_1:24; 2Ti_4:11)

i. Guzik “There is no doubt God used this division; but this can never be casually used as an excuse for carnal division. God can redeem good out of evil, yet we are all held accountable for the evil we do, even if God ends up bringing good out of the evil. Either Paul or Barnabas - probably both - had to get this right with God and each other.”

2. Paul and Barnabas’s conflict teaching us that conflict is an opportunity for growth and restoration.

ii. The Role of the Heart in Conflict:

a. At the center of every conflict lies the human heart, where idols (anything we prioritize above God) often take root.

i. Examining Heart Idols: Desires, pride, or fears often fuel conflicts.

b. Jeremiah 17:9: The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

c. Psalm 139:23-24: Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

d. Repentance and Heart Change: Confession and reliance on God transform our hearts.

iii. Our Role in Conflict Resolution:

a. The gospel provides the ultimate example of reconciliation. God made peace with humanity through Jesus Christ, despite our sin and rebellion.

b. We are called to be “peacemakers” Matthew 5:9.

c. Bringing reconciliation as a reflection of God’s reconciliation through Jesus Christ.

i. Reconciliation with God:

ii. The Call to Reconciliation: 2 Corinthians 5:18-19: And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; to wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.

1. Reveals that God reconciles us to Himself through Christ and entrusts us with the ministry of reconciliation.

2. This means that we are both recipients and agents of peace.

a. Because we have received reconciliation, we can reciprocate it.

iii. The Cost of Reconciliation: Colossians 1:20: And, having made peace through the blood of his cross, by him to reconcile all things unto himself; by him, I say, whether they be things in earth, or things in heaven.

1. emphasizes the cost of this reconciliation: the blood of Jesus on the cross.

iv. The Charge for Reconciliation:

1. Gospel Motivation: Because God has forgiven us, we must forgive others.

2. Ephesians 4:32: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

3. As Christians, we are called to model this divine reconciliation in our relationships. We forgive because God has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32). This forgiveness is not contingent on the other person’s behavior but flows from the grace we have received.

iv. Conclusion and Application

a. Recognize how personal sin contributes to conflict.

b. Reflect on how the gospel equips us to pursue peace.

c. Romans 12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.