Give and Receive Scriptural Correction

Why don’t People like Correction?

It hurts my feelings:

It means I’ve done something wrong?

I want to feel like I’ve done things right.

I feel ashamed/embarrassed

I want others to see me in a good light.

So, my feelings get hurt. My pride gets hurt.

I feel judged.

I feel misunderstood.

Why don’t People like to Give Correction?

I don’t feel like it’s nice.

I might hurt their feelings.

They might get defensive.

They might turn it back on me.

I might lose a friend.

Receiving Scriptural correction is for your own benefit.

Receiving correction will help you identify where you are going off track. Prov. 14:12

Proverbs 14:12 ESV

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.

Receiving correction will help you succeed in life; while those who ignore correction will fail. Prov. 13:18

Proverbs 13:18 ESV

Poverty and disgrace come to him who ignores instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is honored.

Receiving correction will lead to knowledge and maturity. Prov. 12:1

Proverbs 12:1 ESV

Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.

God uses correction to keep us from being deceived. Heb. 3:13

Hebrews 3:13 ESV

But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

Wise people treasure correction. Ps. 141:5

Proverbs 27:5–6 (ESV)

Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

Fools value their way and their pride more than they do their growth and their godliness.

Tips for receiving Correction

Listen receptively.

DO NOT…

Be defensive.

Bring up another issue.

Flip it on them.

Consider it:

You may know immediately that they are right and you need to confess, repent and apologize.

You may need to pray about it and have a follow up conversation.

Don’t miss out on the way God wants to use this in your life because you are too proud to really consider it.

Giving Scriptural correction is a biblical command, for the body of Christ.

It benefits the person being corrected

All the verses above, because sin is a trap that leads to destruction.

It benefits you, so that you don’t become bitter towards them. Lev. 19:17

Leviticus 19:17 ESV

“You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him.

It benefits everyone, because there is less sin in the world.

Biblical instruction for giving Scriptural correction:

Pray about your own heart. Matt. 7:3-5

Matthew 7:3–5 ESV

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

2. Discern what you should do or say. 1 Thess 5:14

1 Thessalonians 5:14 ESV

And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.

3. Ask them about it and listen to what they were thinking. Prov. 18:13

Proverbs 18:13 ESV

If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.

4. Be thoughtful about your words.

Healing Prov. 12:18

Proverbs 12:18 ESV

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Restraint. Prov. 17:27

Proverbs 17:27 ESV

Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.

Gentle. Gal. 6:1

Galatians 6:1 ESV

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

5. It should typically be between you and them. Matt. 18:15

Matthew 18:15 ESV

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.

The goal is to bring restoration to them, not embarrass them.

Public settings are almost never appropriate.

Discipleship group setting maybe.

Helpful tips:

Affirm your care for them and offer some encouragement.

Say something like, “I wanted to bring something up that I’ve noticed, would this be a good time to talk about that?”

Bring up the example that you noticed and ask about it. (You may realize you don’t need to correct them after listening.)

Offer the correction.

Reaffirm your care for them and belief in God’s work in their life.